Annihilation
(YamatoMan narrates)
YamatoMan.EXE
My name is YamatoMan.EXE, a samurai thief navi from the Undernet. Many enemies and opponents, ranging from police to criminal syndicates, have tried to stop me, but to no avail. When my allies and I are after something, there's nothing that can stop us. I am one of the 'Thieves of Justice,' YamatoMan.EXE.
Carlos H. Lupin
Master Carlos is my operator. Although an indirect cousin of Lupin the 3rd, Master Carlos is still a skilled thief with no 'impossible' in his dictionary. He has a sense of duty and great pride that helps him strive on, but he's also the rival of the Net Guardians' leader, David. His fears/dislikes, among other things, are dogs(which he could barely suppress on the job), bishounen, cowboys, and totalitarians.
Naomi.EXE
Naomi is a female net navi also operated by Master Carlos. Despite her acting like a run-of-the-mill schoolgirl ditz to her opponents, her enormous power and skills reduce it to a simple act. However, she's still a nice person, and looks up to Master Carlos like a big brother, hence she refers to him as such.
Oscar M. Samson
This man is Master Carlos' partner, a professional, cool, assasin skilled with firearms. His trademark weapons are the Desert Eagle and the M-16 Full Custom. His sense of duty makes him a good man to count on.
Detective Roberto Giovanni
Giovanni is a famed freelance-detective-for-hire from Italy. He's almost always on Master Carlos' case.
So, We're all a bunch of interesting fellows, what's gonna happen to us this time?
(A garage somewhere)
Oscar: (working on a chassis) ...
Carlos: (works on the engine) Done.
Oscar: (gets out) Same here.
Naomi: Control System on line.
Yamatoman: Auto-Drive System active.
Carlos: OK, Check it.
(The car turns on and drives forward and backward on it's own)
Oscar: (whistles) I see.
Carlos: Everything set. (stabs an invitation with the Shin-Himitsuken) I'm gonna give 'im hell.
Just a Bunch of Racing Fools
(A speedway outside Crescent City)
Announcer: Welcome to the 1st. annual Draper Hall Grand Prix, at Harper Speedway! As we speak, all the racers are preparing to start.
(Some members of the Net Guardians are amongst the crowd)
Adrienne: I may not like car racing much, but I hope Carlos does well!
Jonathan: Well, I've heard about his cousin's F1 abilities somewhat, but I digress.
David: (moans) Why did I get dragged along here anyway?
Moe: You lost a bet.
Cyros: (looks down) I don't know how and why Oscar's 'on the team.'
David: Whatever, he's not on our team, just Carlos' delusional super-team.
(At Carlos' car, a staff member tries to put some kind of oil into the car)
Carlos: (taps the staff member on the shoulder) Alright, what are you doing?
Member: Uh, I'm doing an... oil check?
Carlos: I can see you're in slight fear. Anyways, are you in charge?
Member: No, but, um...
Carlos: (walks right into the staff member's face) Thanks for the help, but this car's already checked. (frowns as he cracks his knuckles)
Member: Yes sir... (runs off) Mercy!
Carlos: (attains a smug look as he walks toward Oscar) ...
Oscar: Who was that guy?
Carlos: Someone suspiscous.
Oscar: I see.
(Below a hotel near the speedway)
Voice: The objective of today's meeting: criminal competition. Currently, most of our former enemies have either joined up with us, or have been crushed underfoot. Now, the greatest threat to Black Diamond's existance is this 'thief of justice,' Carlos Lupin. Yes, I know, Carlos Lupin isn't dead, yet! (laughs manaiacally) Currently, our new Harper Speedway shall be his great undoing. 500,000,000,000 Z to cost, five years to complete. I placed 100 cameras and plenty of other things. They will show us the whole race and nothing but. Now, let's relax and enjoy the show, for this is the only showing! (laughs manaiacally as a gigantic screen opens) In the last, riding the custom 'Full Metal Thunder,' is Carlos Lupin himself. Despite his keeping guard up, he's going along for the ride. (laughs maniacally)
(Back at the Speedway)
Announcer: OK, all the racers are ready!
Carlos: (in the back) So what if I'm in the back?
(the light turns to green)
Carlos: Let's go! (turns on the car, causing it to speed up) ... (flips a panel of the dashboard causing the car to jump over the others)
Announcer: This is incredible! Full Metal Thunder just jumped over the other cars, and is still going! My god! Carlos is the most amazing thing to happen to the world of racing!
Driver: Die! (pushes a button on his car causing a gatling gun to extend from the grill. The gatling gun in turn begins firing)
Carlos: Enjoy your failure. (presses another button on the dashboard, causing tiny metal spikes to protrude from the tires as the car leaps and drives on the wall)
Announcer: Impossible! Now Carlos is driving on the wall- seriously! I want to have his babies!
Oscar: Nice... (takes a motorcycle to a vantage point in the field)
Carlos: It seems that I'll need to smash again. (as a bunch of trees fall on the road, a grenade launcher pops up from the back and destroys the road block of plant matter) Burn, baby, burn! Flames, a gettin' higha!
Oscar: Well that works. (laughs)
Carlos: 3, 2, 1... Plug in! YamatoMan.EXE, Naomi.EXE, Execute! (clips his PETs on the dashboard as he plugs in) I'm out! (jumps out as an inflatable dummy of Carlos activates)
(FMTComp)
Yamatoman: This thing was used by you as well?
Naomi: Yeah! Let me take over OK?
Yamatoman: OK. I'll keep watch.
(A third navi warps in)
Yamatoman: Alright, who are you?
Navi: CrimsonCross.EXE...
(Harper Speedawy Hotel)
Manager: (standing around) ... (two figures walk in) Welcome, sirs!
Carlos: (nods) Thank you. (Oscar fires at the manager)
Oscar: Don't worry, it's a tranquilizer! (loads a fresh clip) Unlike the others! (both walk to the basement)
(FMTComp)
Yamatoman: (aims his spear at CrimsonCross) So, Mr. CrimsonCross, What the hell are you doing here?
CrimsonCross: Simple. I'm here to destroy the Full Metal Thunder and crumble Carlos' alibi.
Yamatoman: Oh, how lovely. Let's see if you're as strong as you pretend you are.
(YamatoMan stabs CrimsonCross in the shoulder)
Yamatoman: (spear turns into a sword) Tooohhh!
(Harper Speedway Hotel)
Carlos: (slices apart guards as he enters the basement) Carlos Lupin is in da house!
Oscar: (opens fire at a row of guards) Don't try to kill anyone my ass! (loads a fresh clip) And with a dot-dot-dot, I Golgo 13 yo' ass! (fires a shot at another nearby guard)
(FMTComp)
CrimsonCross: (extends a hand at YamatoMan) Spike Cable! (launches cable-held spikes at YamatoMan, who blocks them with his spear)
Yamatoman: (spear turns into a sword) Yamato Blade! (cuts CrimsonCross in half, who liquifies and reforms)
CrimsonCross: (looks at naomi and aims)
Naomi: Missle Storm! (fires a barrage of missles at Crimson Cross as the car drifts without a driver) Sanababichi! (is about to hit it)
Yamatoman: Concentrate on driving! I'll keep him off your back!
(Harper Speedawy Hotel)
Carlos: (knocks on the door)
Voice: Get it!
(member opens the door to find Carlos on the other side)
Voice: Carlos? What's going on here?
Carlos: A possible defiance of logic, Mr. Q? (steps aside as Oscar walks in)
Q: And Who are YOU?!
Oscar: I'm Rick James, Bitch! Seriously, I'm Oscar Samson, famed assassin. And since We don't need any questions to ask, (fires upon a mass of members)
Carlos: Indeed. (fires the MB-1 at others after rushing at a few with the Shin-Himitsuken)
Q: What are you waiting for, you sons of bitches, kill them!
(FMTComp)
Yamatoman: CrimsonCross is stronger than I expected!
CrimsonCross: So, who are you two anyways?
Yamatoman: Yamatoman.EXE, former guardian of S-
Naomi: And I am Naomi.EXE, the Golden Angel!
CrimsonCross: I don't care who you are, you're dead to me!
Naomi: But...then why did you ask...oh whatever. Plasma Missle! (fires a giant green missle at CrimsonCross, leaving a scorched space where CrimsonCross once stood)
Yamatoman: Well, that's been taken care of.
Naomi: Thank Oniichan I just got that new upgrade!
(Editor: Punk's sprite was used for the same reason Videoman's was used for FilmMan. I'm not making a unique image for such a pathetic loser. I actually went and edited a lot of the battles in this series to let the villains get a few attacks in edgewise and seem like worthy characters to be immortalized with their own sprite, but sometimes the original script doesn't make that easy. Like here I can't tell what CrimsonCross's powers are besides reforming and the Spike Cable, what's the point? Midoriman, if you write any more of these, for God's sake don't make the battles so ridiculously one-sided!)
(Harper Speedway Hotel)
Oscar: Yes, it's very useful, the Desert Eagle. (loads a fresh clip as he hides from gunfire. Afterwards, Oscar takes aim at the ceiling and fires, with the bullet ricocheting at the guard firing at Oscar) Groovy.
Carlos: It seems that all of the Black Diamond members here have been taken care of. (rises) Oscar, can I borrow your M-16?
Oscar: Uh, sure. (tosses it to Carlos)
Carlos: Sweet. (sets it to automatic mode)
Q: (hiding behind the large podium) Alright, Carlos. Where are you, you bastard?
Carlos: (walking in from the side) Breathing down your neck! (perforates Mr. Q with the M-16) Now, let's get back to the race.
(Later, back at Harper Speedway)
Carlos: (leaps onto the Full Metal Thunder) OK, I'm on! Now deflate the dummy and open the roof! (as both occur, Carlos gets back in) Naomi, how's everything?
Naomi: Oniichan, the Plasma Missle works great!
Carlos: That's great! Huh, what?
Yamatoman: It's a long story...well actually short and pointless. We S-Ranked some random navi that showed up with a standard weapon that's so powerful it shouldn't be allowed to exist. You know, the usual. Anyways, We've completed our task, and are ready to plug out.
Carlos: Uh, OK. (plugs out) Let's finish this! (reaches top speed and miraculously passes the other racers before finishing in first place)
Announcer: The winner is, my hero, Carlos H. Lupin! That man is the pinnacle of magnificence! Why do other human beings exist in his superior presence? Go to hell, everyone but Carlos!
(Later)
Giovanni: (walking up to Carlos) Congratulations, Mr. 'Lupin'. Your success suprises, considering what I've learned about you.
Carlos: Thanks. Well, you're here to arrest me, right?
Giovanni: I have no reason to. I'm sure you're aware of that. (picks up a piece of paper)
Carlos: My arrest warrant, yay. Why do ya want to show me that?
Giovanni: (pulls out a lighter and burns a corner. After that, he puts away the lighter and holds a cigar to the flame before smoking it) That's why.
Carlos: So, why did you torch my warrant?
Giovanni: I'm no longer convinced you're a murderer and a terrorist.
Carlos: So you've seen the light, halleluja.
Giovanni: Have you? From what I've observed of your behaviour, you seem to believe the rumors you've spread about yourself.
Carlos: What are you talking about?
Giovanni: You've fought many netcriminal syndicates on your own. No crime against that. But it seems it's only in your mind that you're a super-thief. You're clearly so enamored by the animated series Lupin III that you convinced yourself your life was just like that, you even convinced yourself you were related to this fictional character. Or is it all just an act? You obviously want real law-enforcement after you either way.
Carlos: Are you insane? You're talking nonsense. You know I'll continue in my line of work. Pretending it's all in my head won't get me to stop.
Giovanni: Really. Well your delusions are none of my business. All I can do is suggest you seek psychiatric help. But you haven't done any real harm all this time, so as long as you have the Net Guardians to keep you in check, you'll stay a free man.
Carlos: Believe what you want, pal. As long as I stay in business! (runs off as Giovanni takes a pause and walks off whistling 'This Old Man')
(Later, the NG's House)
David: (sitting in a chair) Carlos, how the hell did you get something like the car you raced in?
Carlos: (lazily relaxing in a couch) It's a long story, don't ask.
Oscar: (reclining in another chair) We need a vacation, man. (drinks a bottle of liquor) Ahhh, that's somewhat as good as going to the soaplands!
David: The what?
Carlos: (laughs) No one can stop Mr. Domino!
