Special Epilogue 05:
From Revenge of the Scissor Army, by CM Rich

During the year 2005, CM Rich began a project known as Revenge of the Scissor Army. It was meant as a sequel to his previous Alternate Universe entry, Orange Hell, which he had written with incredible devotion before he had so much as joined the Sinister 6. Despite its popularity though, many events led to the project never being finished.

As of March 14, 2008, Revenge of the Scissor Army was never properly documented. Although it is not our place to achieve the entire story, the project had a profound impact on the community. In particular, one scene proved especially memorable. This was the battle between Gravityman and Sheriff Mags.

This milestone is known to many as perhaps the greatest fight Rich has ever captured in words. Not a line of text was wasted breath, and thus every action had a reaction, making it so that every moment helped to produce its epic, blood-boiling climax.

It has been said before that it is not the rightful place of the Ascendant Androids to document the project in full, but it is quite possible that, at this rate, Revenge of the Scissor Army may never be achieved on the Sinister Six, or the Mechanical Maniacs. Because this scene prominently featured a character that originated from the MM5 mythology, it is within our best interest to make such masterful writing known by all as the lunging behemoth we so fondly remember.

No explanations, no summaries. This is the scene in all its glory, completely unaltered from the day it was first posted on the Mechanical Maniacs forum in 2005. Giving detail on the setting and plot is entirely irrelevant. The story you are about to read is a simple duel between two of the most powerful Robot Masters to ever walk the Earth. As anybody who read this story all those years ago can tell you, words speak for itself.
~ Jack Vulcan


Another family lay on the broken concrete, shivering with fear at the sight of this strange creature before them. He looked like an astronaut with his large gold dome covering his entire head and metallic, reflective red space suit covering his body. He even bore the famed NASA badge on his right chest, but the American flag was nowhere to be seen on him. Instead, a strange stencil insignia replaced the Stars and Stripes, which seemed to resemble a pair of scissors. But the family had different concerns other than discovering the meaning behind the symbol.

“Let us go!” the father of the family pleaded. “We haven’t done anything!”

“Yes you have. You, and all your kind, have done so much harm to this world that it may never be able to be repaired. But, I’m wasting my breath on scum like you…” The red and gold robot exclaimed as he raised both hands menacingly. But before he could do whatever it was that he had planned, a shot rang out from behind him.

“I think you had better rethink your definition of ‘scum’.”

A pair of spurs clanged ominously from behind a building, as the pair of oversized boots that belonged to them slowly and almost casually walked towards the space suited robot.

“And you might be…?” was all the red suited robot calmly asked.

“The new sheriff. I’m here to bring some law back into this town. And I guarantee you that you ain’t gonna approve of my methods.”

The crimson hued Robot Master squinted from behind his gold tinted bubble at his opponent. He grinned slowly as he realized who he was staring at.

“Original…” he hissed.

“What?” Magnetman asked, uncertain of what was said and still twirling his revolver on his finger.

“Original!” he repeated with excitement, as if he was seeing a long lost uncle. “Don’t you see? Don’t you see what I am?”

Magnetman looked at the strange figure for a second, trying to figure out what he was saying. Then, suddenly it became clear.


“I’m honored that you remembered me, Original. After all, I was born of your technology. Thanks to you, the true potential of gravity was finally unleashed and granted to me. I AM gravity itself manifested. And once this plague is wiped clean from this planet, I will finally be able to achieve the goal for which I was created.”

Jonathan looked at this odd robot quizzically from behind his visor, obviously in doubt of his sanity. “Goal?”

“I am meant for the stars! This planet is not my home. I was created for much better things. I was supposed to be the first bipedal being to ever walk the planets of the solar system! Instead, that fool Wily stole me halfway through my completion for his halfhearted attempts for domination. It wasn’t until the General found me and rebuilt me to my true form so that I could fully realize my ultimate potential.”

“So…The deal is you become ‘General’ Cut’s lapdog for your own selfish reasons? I think I’m about to do you a favor…” Magnetman threatened as he motioned for his belt mounted revolver.

The two began a traditional stare down under the setting sun. Magnetman had no idea of this supposedly “fully realized” Gravityman was capable of, but he was no push over himself. Gravityman simply stood in his place, straightening himself from his slightly crouched state that he gave his speech from.

“Just say when…”, Magnetman taunted.

After a few tense seconds of stand off, Magnetman made his move, whipping his sidearm from its resting place with inhuman speed, firing a single round off with half a second. He was curious as to what the creature could do, so he decided to test him with a single bullet.

As Jonathan surmised, the bullet was stopped midway between the two enemies, trapped in an invisible force of a gravity-free vortex. Gravityman sneered as he watched the bullet hover in mid air, then was suddenly reminded of his other “guests” as they let out a gasp of amazement. The family that he was threatening just seconds before were still frozen their place, forced to bare witness to this strange encounter. Gravityman made no move to turn around, and instead rolled his eyes to the side to focus a bit of his attention behind him.

Suddenly, a tremendous rumbling sound, as if a train was derailed mere feet away, began to sound from beneath the family. Within a blink of an eye, they were crushed by some unseen force, reduced to a smear inside of a small crater where they had once been. Magnetman grimaced at the gruesome scene, further angered by this monster in front of him.

“They got off relatively easy compared to most everyone else earlier today. I doubt they felt a thing.”

Gravityman’s words brought no comfort to Jonathan, who began to fire off the rest of his Colt’s five remaining rounds. Gravityman began to use debris around him to block and deflect the shots as he reduced the gravity in his immediate area to near weightlessness. He laughed at the antique gun’s firepower, as it was quite easily dealt with by someone with his sort of power. Using his power to keep the various chunks of broken concrete in place, Gravityman began using wide, sweeping kicks on them, sending them flying into his enemy’s area. Magnetman, who had no control over earth-based rocks and concrete, had to dodge them the old fashioned way by leaping and diving in between them. It was quite easy for someone with his sleek build, but he could see that his revolvers may not be enough to finish this fight.


Holstering his Single Action Army, Jonathan prepared to use his rarely used control over magnetic waves to counter the raw power of his opponent, but he was unaware that Gravityman’s power worked much like his did. Gravityman’s control over this natural force was only simulated, as it used much of Magnetman’s technology to bend a planet’s own magnetic field to create a faux gravity. It was for this very reason that Gravityman would have worked so well on unfamiliar planets. However, here on Earth it was a devastating weapon, lending him tremendous crushing power and maneuverability within his own gravity vortex.

Jonathan raised his arms up with his fists tightly closed. He found that mimicking a traditional magnet shape with his torso helped channel his power with more accuracy, but he was quickly finding himself at a disadvantage against Gravityman, who had seemingly complete and utter control over his abilities whereas Jonathan always struggled to control his own massive might. Focusing only the wreckage around him, he managed to pull up two massive steel girders from the ruins and remotely throw them at his opponent like a javelin.

Smirking, Gravityman stood directly in their path with his arms folded, swatting the beams away with his invisible force.

“Come now!” he taunted. “I would have expected my Original could come up with something much better than that!”

Not the least bit daunted by the insult, Jonathan decided on a more direct approach. He turned his power directly towards his enemy, believing he might be able to shear him in half and end this fight quite easily. But, that wasn’t the case. Though Gravityman continued to stand in front of him in an unflinching, mocking pose, Magnetman’s power wasn’t able to touch him. Not in the slightest manner. It was like throwing water onto Teflon.

“Ceramic.” Gravityman stated with a smile. “My entire outer shell is constructed with ceramic plating. Not a solid ounce of steel or iron was used in my outer structure.”

Jonathan inwardly cursed his luck. Of all the Robot Masters to fight, he had to pick the magnet-proof one.

“Well, I’m getting a little bored. What say we turn it up a bit for excitement’s sake, hmm?” Gravityman challenged.

“Up to you, kid. Don’t think it’s over yet.” Jonathan said, trying to keep his cool in the face of his opponent. In truth, he was beginning to get worried.

Gravityman let out a quick “hya!” and a wave of invisible force began crushing the already broken cement on its way towards Magnetman. It was a devastating attack, Jonathan observed, as the earth affected by the power looked as though an invisible giant had stomped on the ground. He made a mental note not to find out what would happen if he messed up and found himself at the epicenter of the attack.

The Sheriff found himself doing more defensive work than he was used to, avoiding the multi angled attacks and flying debris with increasing difficulty. At this rate, it was only a matter of time before he made a small slip up that would cost him dearly. He had to do something fast or he’d share the same fate as that poor family within minutes.

Pulling his second revolver from it’s resting place on his belt, Magnetman backed off a few steps to prepare his next move, which was a trick even he had not perfected yet. Intrigued by his quarry’s latest tactic, Gravityman backed off on his assault for a moment to see what his “Original” was about to attempt.

Using all five of his digits on the hammer of his revolver, Jonathan unleashed all six rounds of the handgun within a second- a feat any old fashioned gunslinger would have envied. Gravityman had prepared another round of rocks to deflect the incoming hail of bullets, but much to his surprise they never came.

Instead, the old fashioned ammunition remained floating just in front of the barrel of the gun, hanging very closely together. Slowly holstering his sidearm again, Magnetman began to seize control of each bullet individually, causing them to orbit him. By this time, Magnetman’s power was slightly visible as it attracted bits of stray metal particles from nearby, giving it the effect of a strange, black and white energy field swirling around the red and black robot with the Western theme. The bullets gradually picked up speed as they swarmed around Jonathan, who’s face began to contort under the heavy demand of concentration needed for such a feat.

Gravityman made an audible whistle as he acknowledged the amazing feat. On some subconscious level, he might even have been proud of what his Original was capable of. But, he still had to prepare for the next part of this attack, as he was sure it was no parlor trick meant to impress. Magnetman did not disappoint as he let lose a single shot launched at super sonic speed. Gravityman barely had any time to react as a stray piece of debris happen to float in front of him, deflecting the mach-cruising bullet. He began to grimace himself at this latest attack method, as the bullets were far less predicable than when they were fired from a gun. The swirling mass of metal particles helped to camouflage the exact location of the bullets within the matrix, making it impossible for him to judge exactly where they’d be launched. Magnetman himself was placed much too far away for Gravity to make effective use of his Gravity Hold on him, and his debris attack probably would make it past that barrier of his. Even his “ultimate attack” would have been too slow moving to catch him before he shot the rest of his rounds off.

So, Gravityman now found himself being the one forced to duck and dive an assault. He had five shots left to dodge, so he would need all the cover he could find. Jumping atop a large pile of debris, he reduced the pulling force of the rubble to zero, causing it to float upward slowly and slightly. At this time, another shot was loosed from the magnetic maelstrom that surrounded Jonathan, narrowly missing the domed space bot. Within a few seconds, yet another bullet was launched, this time shattering his helmet almost completely as it barely missed his face.

*He’s getting closer! Got to pay attention!* Gravityman warned himself inwardly.

Another few seconds pass and another shot was fired, this time it was dodged quite easily.

*Two more…Just two more…* he again thought to himself.

The second to last shot came within mere inches of his knee, nearly throwing him off balance in the process. Noticing this, Jonathan wasted no opportunity to use an opening to make the most of his last shot. Whipping the bullet around at even faster speed, he unleashed it at his foe. However, Gravityman regained balance at the last instant and barely escaped it as it whizzed past his mechanical ear. Giving a resounding “HAH!”, Magnetman had one last trick up his Kevlar sleeve as he snatched the bullet out of the air using his magnetic power and directed it back towards Gravityman, who was caught completely off guard as it entered his left shoulder from behind.

Gravityman let loose a wailing scream as he clutched his oil spewing shoulder with his good arm. The bullet must have fragmented within, wrecking havoc on his arm mechanics but nothing especially vital. Still, it hurt like hell and angered the Commanding Officer even more. Letting loose a ferocious yell, Gravityman bellowed at his attacker.

“I’ve played around with you enough!! It’s time to show you the true meaning of power, and the full potential of Gravity himself!!!”

Almost forgetting about his injury altogether, Gravityman raised both arms and sent a massively powerful wave at Jonathan, who was winded from his display of concentration and power. The Sheriff barely managed to raise his own exhausted arms to counter the brute force that seemed intent on crushing him. Already at a slight disadvantage, Magnetman was already weary and his body was showing signs of giving out as his main electromagnets, which were mounted within his forearms, began to spark and belch smoke. He was already beginning to lose ground as the two invisible forces shoved each other, creating a high pitched hum that caused any remaining windows in the area to shatter.

Electrons were forced together, releasing a flurry of red hued spark and electricity, and small bits of concrete were shoved away by the forces at work. The earth itself shook beneath their feet as loose bits of concrete began to crumble and fall deeper into the Earth. Forces that were dreamed of by geologists and feared by scientists in the magnetic field were all being released in a hellish fury as the whole area seemed to grow unnaturally dark as dust was flung into the air, obscuring the sun. Then, another sound made itself heard, as Gravityman was laughing maniacally as he realized his great advantage over his Original. Pushing himself further, he poured even more might into his onslaught, causing Jonathan to lose even more ground. The epicenter of the two forces being forced together against their will was now mere feet away from him, and he knew that if it got any closer his body would implode upon itself. Suddenly, though, a thought entered his mind through the unimaginable focus needed to maintain his defense.

He focused on his enemy’s shoulder as it continued to ooze oil. He stared straight at it, unblinking, even though this was causing him to lose even more ground. However, it was showing it’s effects, as Gravityman felt something going horribly wrong within his body.

“W-what? What are you…? This is…impossible!!”

Gravityman began to scream as the bullet that was lodged in his upper arm began to move and jerk around, further causing him even more pain. Managing to ignore the pain for a few seconds, Magnetman focused even more on the fragmented bullet within his foe. Gravityman suddenly twitched slightly, and the bullet erupted from his right cheek, tearing his face apart in a cloud of oil and coolant. Forgetting his current situation for a millisecond, Gravityman reached with both arms to grasp his wounded face. However, he immediately realized what he had inadvertently done, as his eyes grew wide with surprise and horror.

“N-“ was all he managed to sputter as his own power, pushed by Magnetman’s, was forced back at him, causing his entire body to be crushed in an instant. The wave of concentrated energy continued on its way, completely breaking down the street it traveled on and sending entire buildings into the sky until it finally disappeared from sight, no longer controlled by a single being.

Jonathan crumbled to his knees in a pile. His entire body was in a white-hot world of pain, as most of his internal circuitry and mechanics has burned themselves out sometime during the fight. It seemed almost impossible in itself that he lasted as long as he did, as his lubrication system had stopped working when the two warriors began their “test of strength”, leaving his sore joints to further endure the ungodly friction of the electromagnet’s high velocity spin.

Still, he managed a small smile, a small chuckle even as he lost consciousness and fell to the broken earth at his feet.