Special Epilogue 03:
DAY OF EXPLODING STUFFING
A Thanksgiving 2005 Epilogue by Crystalgirl


[Scene: The secret underground lab that the Androids have adopted as their base.   Chaos is ensuing amongst the Androids as they prepare for their first Thanksgiving together.  Kevin and Matt have been given the tasks of decorating the place, just to get everyone into the festivities.  Patrick and Tommy have managed to land themselves the task of cleaning.  Vulcan and Johnny have been given the task of going out and purchasing some last minute items, such as napkins, plates, various foodstuffs, and gunpowder.  And finally, Crys and Nick have landed themselves in a pot of boiling water, or grease, in this case, as they are assigned to cook the dinner.]

Crys: Okay… we can do this, right?  I mean, we just need to deep-fry this thing, right?  No problem… uhm… where’s the turkey?

Nick: I thought you had the turkey…

Crys: I thought you had it!   Well… okay, we can do this.  We’ll just go out and kill one ourselves!

Nick: Sounds go -- wait what?!  Can you hear yourself talking?!

Crys: Oh, come on!  It’ll be really fresh this way!

Nick: Fine, fine.  And how do you propose we find a living turkey?

Crys: Easy.  We go to the local turkey farm!

Nick: …This won’t end well, will it?

Crys: -Grabs an insanely large butcher knife off the counter- Not at all.

[Scene: The local Supermarket.  Johnny and Vulcan are walking down the aisles.   Or, to be more precise, Johnny is running up and down each and every aisle, cackling and eating candy that he stole from the shelves in the checkout line, while Vulcan is trying to keep an eye on him, not explode in a furious flaming rage, and attempting to shop all at once.]

Vulcan: -Grumbles audible as Johnny passes by him again, placing a container of gun powder into the cart, right beside the similar looking container of pepper- What did I do to deserve this?

Johnny: -Squeals and cackles with pure sugary glee as he races down the aisle Vulcan is in, and ends up running head first into the fire warrior, causing them both to fall over.-  WHEEEEEEEEE!!!

Vulcan: -Stands up, and grabs Johnny by the collar, shaking him- Will you calm down already?!  I will set you on fire if you keep this up!  -He then proceeds to put Johnny down-

Johnny: -Starts jumping up and down in one spot, obviously not paying attention to what Vulcan had just said- Myah! Isn'tthisfunVulcanlookieit'sanEnzanplushieohwowtheyhavecatnipballshereheylookdon'tweneed cranberrysauceOHMYGOSHIT'SSHIPPO!!!!!!!!!

Vulcan: -eye twitches, trying to not throw the cart at Johnny- Crys... will... PAY.

Johnny: -runs around in circles, and runs into a watermelon display, which causes chaos to be wreaked on the supermarket, and a watermelon to become impaled upon Vulcan's head- Ooooops....

Vulcan: -eye twitches furiously, and growls- I should have stuck with cleaning.

[Scene: Back at the base.  Tommy and Patrick are currently having technical… difficulties… as their cleaning appliances have seemingly come to life.  Patrick is currently trying to fight off a homicidal mop, with it’s less hostile cousin, the broom, while the hose of the vacuum has taken to squeezing Tommy like a Boa Constrictor.]

Tommy: OH GOD!  THE VACCUM IS TRYING TO EAT ME! –Is squeezed harder- IT HURTS SO MUCH!

Patrick: Oh, quit your whining!  -Swings his broom at the mop, which is just kind of sitting there, like a sword- Take that, foul mop!

Mop: ……..

Tommy: -Goes silent after a moment, and then unwraps himself from the hose- Guess THAT didn’t work.

Patrick: Suppose not.  Ah well… guess we should get cleaning then.  –Picks up the mop, and starts mopping the linoleum part of the floor-

Tommy: I guess.  Wonder what Kevin and Matt are up to.  –Starts vacuuming the carpet-

[Scene: In the living area.  Kevin and Matt are setting up the center piece for the table.]

Kevin: Are you sure the Indian Chief is supposed to go there?  I think he’s supposed to go on the other side…

Matt: -Sighs- I don’t know!  I’m guessing as much as you are.  And why are we setting this up on a Pilgrim Hat, anyway?

Kevin: How should I know?   It was YOUR idea!  And what’s with the Christmas lights?

Matt: Everyone knows you put your Christmas stuff up at Thanksgiving!

Kevin: But everyone will walk in, and think its Christmas!

Matt: What?  No they won’t!

Kevin: Do you want to bet?!

Matt: Bring it on!

[Author’s Note: Due to language, violence, general graphic nature, and the abuse of both MP3 players and a small child named Mitch, the rest of this scene has been edited out.  I would like to apologize for any inconvenience, and would like to assure you that the bunny and Mitch will both be fine as soon as they get into therapy, and have that surgery done.  Thanks.]

[Scene: A very busy street out on the surface.  People are bustling around frantically, trying to finish some last minute errands before everything closes.   Suddenly, a woman screams, and people start running around in every direction, pandemonium striking the area as a group of no less than thirty turkeys, and a small, orange freight train race through the ground.  Sitting on top of the train’s shoulders is a small female, waving around an inhumanly long butcher knife.]

Crys: After those turkeys!

Nick: Move it people!   Freight train and thirty or more turkeys coming through!  WOOO WOOO!

-At this same moment, a little further down the street, Johnny races out of the supermarket, completely naked.  Screaming with glee, the overly caffeinated and sugared cat boy runs up the street, causing even more pandemonium and fear.  Vulcan comes out a few seconds later, carrying a large box of groceries, and tries to catch up with the streaking Johnny, when he sees a large group of turkeys run by, followed by an orange freight train carrying a girl with an overly large butcher knife with a naked cat boy on her shoulders.-

Vulcan: ……What in the blue hell…?

Hardman: -Standing there, seemingly unnoticed- …I have GOT to stop drinking.

[Scene: Later, at the Androids base.  Everyone is gathered around the table, where an incredible looking dinner is set.  The room is nicely decorated and cleaned.   The team talks and laughs for a while, before Kevin starts beating his glass with his force.  This was, of course, to draw attention to himself, but instead the sound of glass shattering was what got everyone’s attention.]

Kevin: Awe… there goes my drink.  –Clears his throat- Anyway!  Considering our current situation is that we’re celebrating Thanksgiving, I thought now would be a good time to announce what we’re all thankful for.  You know, make it some sort of tradition.

Vulcan: Makes sense, since we’re pretty much like a family now.

Crys: Sounds good, Kevin!

Kevin: -Beams- Thanks!   And, as such, I volunteer Patrick to go first.

Patrick: What?!  Grr… fine.  I guess I’m thankful for music, since music is pretty much my life.

Kevin: I’m thankful for the Internet!

Vulcan: I am personally thankful for women and the sex they offer people like myself at every turn.

Matt: I’m thankful for really good food, like the stuff Vulcan makes.

Johnny: Me?  I’m thankful for sugar and caffeine!

Nick: I’m thankful for Vulcan’s stash of – err… I mean… I’m thankful for dressing!

Tommy: I’m thankful that I was able to find the blueprints to make the armors.

Crys: Sheesh… you guys… -Shakes her head- I’m thankful for being able to meet and interact with you lot.

Kevin: Now that that’s over with… let’s eat!

-Food starts to be passed around the table.  Once everyone’s plates are full, they all decide to start off with their stuffing, almost as if it were fate.  All eight of them get ready to stick their forks into the stuffing…-

-Outside, Katto and Ben are walking over the base, when suddenly they hear something similar to a small explosion.-

Katto: What the hell was THAT?!

Ben: I have no idea.

Katto: Actually, now that I think about it… it was probably the Androids cooking with gun powder again.

Ben: Ah, no need for alarm, then.

-Back inside, the Androids are still sitting around the table, but their faces are covered in black, and their hair is sticking up as if there was an explosion.  All eight of them have their mouths open.-

Crys: -Is the first one to recover- Alright, who put gunpowder in… the… stuffing…

Vulcan: -Fidgets nervously as everyone glares at him- Eh... heh… heh…. I… thought it was… pepper?

All: VUUUUULLCAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!


The End