Cossack's Comrades

Alpha Season 2: Epilogue 6

Aquatic Fun By Ring Man aka Rebel40000

Narrator: It was another ordinary morning at Dr. Cossack's Citadel, but knowing how these storylines are it won't be like that for long.

*BOOM!*

Ring: *Running around* AHHH!! I'M ON FIRE!!!

Pharaoh: Serves ya right for waking me up! *Walks up stairs* Morning' guys!

Everyone (except Pharaoh and a flaming Ring): 'Morning.

Toad: *Puts the paper down* So what are we all going to do today? Fight Wily? Make fun of Krypto Man now that he can no longer fight? Watch Ballade beat himself up? Or bug the living heck out of some other team?

Skull: I vote for the last one.

Dive: Oh, come on! We did that yesterday!

Bright: And the day before that.

Dust: And the day before that!

Drill: Shibbie Toad, don't forget that we...

Pharaoh: Okay, okay! So we've done it a lot! Let's do something else for once!

Dive: *Raises a fist* How about we go down to the post office and show that Mail Man a thing or two?

Everyone (except Ring): NO MAIL MAN!!

Dive: Oh, whatever... (Bunch a good for nothin-)

Pharaoh: *Eyes glowing* What was that?

Dive: Oh, nothing. *Laughs nervously*

Bright: We still haven't found anything to do. *Sigh*

Narrator: It seemes that this perfectly normal day had, at last, become something other than normal. But someone just has to go and ruin it, don't they?

Ring: *Appears out of nowhere, and badly burnt* Need... water... *Falls down* Nothing too much... Pacific Ocean will do...

Skull: *Snaps fingers* That's it!!

Everyone: Huh?

Skull: Guys, grab your things! Were going to the beach!

Dive: WOOHOO!! *Runs around* Beach Time! Sea, sea... Sea, sea!

Dust: What the heck is his problem?

Drill: He loves the water. After all, he IS Dive Man!

Dust: Pfft. I hate the water. I always get it sucked up into my vaccum, which gives me a headache.

Bright: Same here. Except I get electrocuted, and all the cute little fishies go and... Er, I mean, who cares about fish? They suck!

Pharaoh: Then it's settled! To the beach!

Ring: *Running around with Dive* YEAH BEACH WOOHOO!!!

Toad: *Hits Ring and Dive* Quite you fools, or you'll--

Cossack: Did someone say the beach?

Toad: Sigh... Never mind.

Drill: Shibbie Dr. Cossack! Do you want to come as well?

Cossack: Of course! I love the beach! Why when I was still in high school I was on the swimming team, and I was a mighty darn good swimmer, let me tell you...

Pharaoh: Uh, okay. I'll just get Kalinka then, I guess... *Walks away*

Skull: Okay! Everyone else, to the Cossack Mobile!

*Silence*

Toad: The what?

Ring: He said "Cossack" Mobile...

Dive: Since when do we have one of those?

Skull: Oh, never mind and let's just go.

Narrator: And so the Comrades, along with Dr. Cossack and Kalinka, decided to go to the beach. Wait... THE BEACH?!?! And I wasn't invited?! I'm calling my agent! *Walks off*

*At the beach*

Dive: *Hops out of the cab* AAHHH YEAH!! *Stretches* This is my kinda place!

Pharaoh: I'll say. Look at all the babes! *Leaves*

Toad: I wonder if they have any ponds...

Drill: Dude! This the beach! There's nothing but ocean!

Toad: Oh well, I guess a swimming pool will have to do.

Ring: *Sees the ocean* WATER!! *Gets hit with a frisbee* Ow...

Everyone: Hahahaha!!

Cossack: *In swimming trunks and sunglasses* Ah, the beach... I haven't been here for ages!

Kalinka: *Snorts* You don't go anywhere except the fridge.

Cossack: I won't have any of that, young lady! *Looks around* Ah, there's a good spot! Dust Man! Bright Babe!

Dust: *In a maids outfit* Sigh... You rang, sir?

Bright: *In a butlers uniform* Hey! That's my line!

Dust: *Pushes Bright* Back off lightbulb head! Your not the one wearing a MAIDS OUTFIT!!

Bright: Gasp! Your right! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Cossack: Now, now you two. We've got work to do! So step to it!

Both: Yes sir...

Narrator 2: Since the old Narrator was fired from whining to much, I will be your host! Anyways, while Bright put up the camp site, Dust had to take care of the Cossack's and their... needs. Toad Man lounged in the indoor pool, Ring and Drill played a game of Old Maid (after getting Ring away from the frisbee throwers, of course), Pharaoh showed off to the ladies his awsome skills, and also scared them away, Skull basked in the sun, and Dive Man swam around carefree in the water. But as the first Narrator pointed out, things were about to take a turn for the worst... What will happen to our heroes? What strange, twisted plot will they fall into? And more importantly *Gets shot*.

Narrator 3: Hello, since the new Narrator talked too much, I'll be your even newer host! Now back to the show...

*At the bottom of the ocean*

Sea creature: Gar, I'm hungry!

Sea creature 2: Your always hungry!

Sea creature: No I'm not!

Sea creature 2: Yes you are!

Sea creature: That's it! Now you DIE!! *Kills sea creature 2*

Sea creature 3: You know, you could have just eaten him.

*Silence*

Sea creature 3: Now you'll have to eat that blue submarine with the limbs and face up there. *Points*

*Silence*

Sea creature: Yeah! I totally outsmarted that dead idiot! *Yells* Hey! You! Blue guy!

Dive: Huh? *Looks down*

Sea ceature: Yeah! I'm talking to you! Come 'ere!

Dive: *Shrugs* Okay. *Comes down* What do ya want?

Sea creature 3: We thought that since we hardly get visitors we would join you for dinner. Our treat. *Smiles*

Dive: Well, that's pretty friendly of you. But, I can't. My friends would get worried and about me and all...

Sea creature: NO TIME FOR THAT MUST EAT!! *Shocks Dive*

Dive: Arrgh!! *Faints*

Sea creature: DINNER TIME!! *Gets slapped* Hey! What was that for?!

Sea creature 3: Because you're an idiot! Now his friends are going to come looking thanks to your stupidity! I had a plan, but you just had to go off and reveal ourselves so now-- *Dies*

Sea creature: Peh, fool. I've got ways of taking care of the others. Just you wait and see...

*Back on the surface*

Ring: Damn! That's the 57th time I've lost! What's your secret at being so good?

Drill: Well, if you must know... It's the hands.

Ring: ...What?

Drill: Never mind.

Cossack: *Faces Drill and Ring* I developed Drill so his hands can know everything! They're like living things! Except they're not.

Ring: Wait... You mean you cheat?!

Drill: Don't listen to that old man. He didn't even make my shibbie sweet hands.

Ring: Wait... You mean you cheat?!

Drill: You've gone tape recorder on me!

Toad: *Runs on over* Guys! Something has happened to Dive Man!

Skull: *Jumps up* What happened?!

Toad: *Hands Skull a letter*

Skull: Ahem... "dear who ever u r, i have captured ur preshous dive man. if u want to save him, then come 2 teh warehuse on teh oter side of teh sity!! - from a see creetur"

Everyone: Gasp!

Kalinka: This is terrible! We have to save him!

Skull: *Raises a hand* No. We'll go instead. This could get ugly. Let's go guys!

Ring: Whatever. *Turns to Drill* I challenge you to a game of shogi!

Drill: *Scratches head* What's shogi?

Ring: *Shrugs* I dunno. Sounds fun, though.

Drill: You're on!

Skull: All right, then the rest of us GOO!!!

Bright: *Rips off the uniform* Yippee! *Takes off*

Skull: Hey Pharaoh!

Pharaoh: *Walks up* What?

Skull: We're about to save Dive Man. Want come along?

Pharaoh: Sure. *Calls out* I'll be right back, ladies! I've just got some super hero things to do! *Takes off*

Skull: Let's go, Dust! *Runs*

Dust: Coming!

Cossack: STOOOP!!

Dust: Huh?

Cossack: I need you to massage my feet! Get to it!

Dust: Sigh... Yes sir...

*At the warehouse*

Sea creature: Soon... soon they shall all fall, and I will have a full belly! Mwahahahahahahaha!!

Dive: Your one demented little sea guy, you know that?

Sea creature: *Sticks chest out* Poppa taught me everything! When he wasn't drinking...

Dive: Ooh, sounds like a bad childhood...

Sea creature: Shut up! You don't know me! No body knows me!

Dive: Sorry...

*Silence*

Sea creature: LEAVE ME ALONE!!

Dive: I didn't say anything.

Sea creature: Yes you did! You always did! *Hiss*

Dive: (Boy, was I right about this guy being demented!)

Sea creature: I heard that! Mister, I'll just make fun of him IN MY MIND!!

Dive: Sorry!

*The door crashes down*

Skull: Sorry we're late! Let's dance! *Fires a barrage of bones*

Sea creature: *Hiss* Fool! I'll stop you! *Shocks the bones, causing them to fall to the ground*

Bright: Let's see you try that again! FLASH STOPPER!!

*While time was frozen, Skull released another barrage of bones, hitting the sea creature over and over again until the freeze ended*

Sea creature: Agh! You fiends and your cheap shots! I'll destroy you all! *Short circuits Bright and Skull*

Bright and Skull: Oof!

Dive: NO!

Sea creature: Oh, yes! Huh?

Pharaoh: Bonzai! *Releases a couple of Pharaoh shots*

Sea creature: Hiss! Too hot! Too hot! *Backs away*

Toad: Lemme cool you off, then! ACID RAIN!!

*The rain comes down, causing both the sea creature and Pharaoh to run for cover, and also causes the ropes tying Dive to come off*

Sea creature: No...!

Dive: Oh yes! Dive Missile! *Blows up the creature*

Sea creature: Agh!! *Hits the wall*

Pharaoh: *Reactivates Skull and Bright* It's over. Give up now if you want to live.

Sea creature: N-never...

Dust: Dust Crusher!

Sea creature: Gah! Too dirty! Need water! *Jumps into the water and swims away*

Bright: Dust? I thought you were...

Dust: Got it all taken care of.

*The beach*

Cossack: Come on, you two! Dust won the bet and now you've gotta work!

Drill: *In maids outfit* I don't shibbie believe it! The one time where I make a bet about winning and I lose!

Ring: *Serves Kalinka some lemonade* Aw, this isn't too bad.

Kalinka: Thank you Ring Man. *Sips the lemonade*

Drill: THAT'S BECAUSE YOUR NOT SHIBBIE WEARING A MAIDS OUTFIT!!

Ring: Oh yeah...

*The three continue to laugh at Drill, and at the citadel, Jay and Silent Bob wake up, realizing that they we not in this epilogue*

The End

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