Cossack's Comrades

Alpha Season 2: Epilogue 15

Darkest Game by Drill.

*Do I even need to say where the story starts? *

Cossack: You guys wont believe this!

Dust: Must we listen?

Cossack: YES!!! I got a letter in the mail from a Master Shake. I will be appearing on a show called Dr. Quiz! Of course you will come to support me…right?

Drill: I have a One Piece Convention.

Toad: I have other plans.

BB: I have decided to partake in the pastime or drawing a comic staring two characters called Bob and Fred.

All: *stare*

BB: I luv tacos!

Cossack: Better. Now I expect you ALL there! Especially you, Kalinka!

Kalinka: Damn!

*The Studio*

Announcer: Ladies, Gentlemen, and Ringman, are you ready to play…

Crowd: Dr. QUIZ!!!

Announcer: First off we have an evil genius bent on world domination. He’s Dr. Wily!

Crowd: YAY!

Wily: Ah my adoring fans, I wont send you to my death camps after all.

Announcer: Next is the proclaimed smartest robot designer in the universe! It’s the Dr. Light!

Crowd: YAY!

Light: Why thank you all. Hello Albert!

Wily: Die.

Announcer: Next up is Dr. Cossack, the laziest bastard in the world!

Crowd: BOO!

Cossack: Aw shove it.

Announcer: Our next contestant is a fat man claiming to hate blue hedgehogs. It’s Dr. Robotnik!

Crowd: YAY!

Robotnik: Actually it’s Dr. Eggman.

Announcer: Actually, who cares? And last is Dr. Stupid!

Crowd: YAY!

Stimpy: Wish me luck Ren.

Ren: IDIOT! If you loose, I’ll KILL YOU and sell your organs for money!

Stimpy: Moneys always good.

Drill: *to Comrades* The hell? How did he get Wily and Robotnick?

Dive: Does it matter?

Kalinka: I hope father gets last!

Pharaoh: Why is that?

Kalinka: Because I had plans today!

Announcer: Here’s our host, the TRUE Master of the Universe, it’s Master Shake!

Master Shake: Thank you all. Now here’s how the game is played. The first round we ask you questions. If you get a question wrong, not only do we take away your money, but also we shock you with 300 volts of electricity, kindly provided to us by my good friend, Odin.

Cossack: Wait…why the hell did I agree to this?

Master Shake: Now the order which people were brought in are the order we play. Now Wily, you can choose the category. We have Death Weapons, Musicals, Words that start with A, and TV.

Wily: I’ll take death weapons.

Master Shake: Okay this is for $100. Buzz in any time to take control people. Now what is the weapon that Rockman uses in normal state?

Cossack: *Buzz*

Master Shake: Okay Dr. Cossack, what is the answer?

Cossack: The Mega-Buster.

Master Shake: Oh tough luck. I said Rockman, not Megaman. It’s Rock-Buster. Odin, give him hell.

Cossack: Mommy.

*As Odin shocks him, Kalinka laughs her ass off*

Master Shake: And that puts Cossack down to -$100.

Cossack: Wwhaatt?

Master Shake: Okay Wily, you again. We need to finish off these other categories to move to round 2!

Wily: Uh, Musicals I guess.

Master Shake: Allright this is for $200 apiece. Name the 3 rock operas dealing with the bible.

Wily: *Buzz*

Master Shake: Okay Wily, do you know any?

Wily: Godspell… but I don’t know any others.

Master Shake: Well that's good for $200, you fart! Now you may buzz in.

Light: *Buzz*

Master Shake: Light, you know the others so I can go back home and enjoy Carl’s pool?

Light: Why of course. In my day I saw the shows many a times. Once I went to see one and I saw a kitty! It was so fluffy and cuddly! I believe I named her Mrs. Bottoms. We had so much fun! We played…

*Shot*

Robotnik: Oh for the love of god shut up and die! The answers are Jesus Christ Superstar and Joseph and the Technicolor Dream coat!

Master Shake: Hmmm well you didn’t buzz in, but who cares! You shut up Light from his rambling! You get $400! Okay Dr. Stupid, since you haven’t gone yet, you pick.

Stimpy: I’ll take…

Ren: PICK TV YOU MORON! DO IT!

Stimpy: I’ll take Words That Start With A.

Ren: I’LL KILL YOU, YOU SACK OF…

Master Shake: Okay no need to shout, Chihuahua. Now here it is. Name a fruit that's red.

Stimpy: Orange like your hands, beautiful Shake man!

Ren: You IDIOT, that doesn’t start with A!

Master Shake: I’ll give him slack, even though they are yellow. You win $300!

Stimpy: Yay!

Cossack: The hell? I get mine wrong and I get shocked. He gets his wrong and he gets $300!

Master Shake: Shock him.

*Again Odin shocks him, and everyone laughs*

Odin: I love this job.

Master Shake: Our last category is TV, which I should be watching now. The question for $300 is what is the name of the maid on the Brady Bunch?

Robotnik: It was Alice, Cup.

Stimpy: Ah who cares? It was a stupid show with stupid people.

Master Shake: Good point. You both win! You each get $150! Now to the elimination round!

Cossack: Elimination round? Like I haven’t been through hell already.

Master Shake: You will play…LASER TAG!

Robotnik and Wily: Wha…?

Stimpy: Happy Happy Joy Joy Happy Happy Joy Joy!

Cossack: Yay!

Master Shake: Woah, who said this would be fun? I hired Arnold as your opponent.

Wily: Arnold who?

Arnold: Hasta la vista baby!

Wily, Cossack, and Robotnik: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Stimpy: Look Ren, that's the guy from your naked magazines!

Ren: Shut up you Mongrel!

Master Shake: All 4 of you will be equipped with a gun thanks to my annoying roommate Frylock. Arnold will deal with two of you and the other two will come back here alive.

Cossack: Alive?

Master Shake: Yes. Arnold usually kills his opponents, but maybe you will live.

Cossack: Why did I agree to come here?!

Frylock: Okay here are your weapons. You shoot at the head.

Robotnik: I thought you shoot at the armor.

Frylock: Hahaha, what armor? This is a game to kill.

Wily: Sweet.

Stimpy: Duh.

Master Shake: Okay, lets commence with the slaughter!

*So they are released into the arena. Arnold was on top of the arena, staring down at his targets*

Arnold: Dat ones da first to go!

*He lines his shot, and gets Robotnik in the head! And another one bites the dust!*

Robotnik: Uh damn you hedgehog! *Dies*

Arnold: Now vitch one dies? I choose…

*He lines his shot with Cossack and fires, but Wily jumps Cossack! *

Wily: Damn you! You stole my money! I’ll kill you!

Cossack: Lets see if you have the balls to hit me!

Wily: I will show you who has…

*shot!*

Wily: Thank god I wear bulletproof armor every day in fear of Rockman!

Master Shake: Well technically your dead Wily so you’re out. Later. Dr. Stupid, Dr. Cossack, follow me.

Wily: Meh at least Light’s dead.

*Wily leaves, and who’s outside but Dr. Light! *

Wily: No! You’re dead! I saw it!

Light: Actually Blues deflected the blast but accidentally kicked me in the face knocking me out. That's not the first time I was kicked. In high school…

Wily: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

*The Game Room*

Master Shake: Okay here it is. It’s down to this. Your final challenge is to beat Meatwad with this stick.

Frylock: Shake!

Master Shake: What? It will be fun, right Meatwad?

Meatwad: I dunno. Last time we did this, Carl ran me over with a car you stole.

Cossack: Why didn’t he use his own?

Carl: *from audience* Because I didn’t want Meat shit on my car!

Jay: Word up yo!

Master Shake: Okay Frylock, what should we do?

Frylock: Okay let me Shake. Complete the lyric. Can you feel the ____ tonight?

Master Shake: …that's it?

Frylock: Yeah well it is short notice after all.

Meatwad: Is it the “Heat”?

Master Shake: Why yes. Now your prize is to put an electrical devise in Carl’s pool and jump in!

Meatwad: Yay!

Cossack: Is it mood?

Frylock: No.

Cossack: Wind?

Frylock: No.

Cossack: Is it…

Frylock: NO! Dr. Stupid, your answer?

Stimpy: Love.

Frylock: YES! You win!

Ren: YES! Good work you idiot!

Frylock: You both win what you have earned.

Cossack: I earned -$100.

Master Shake: Well then pay up!

Dust: Uh, lets go to the movies.

Pharaoh: Smartest thing I heard all night.

Cossack: Wait! Don't go! Help me Kalinka!

Stimpy: I did it Ren! Yay!

Ren: Give me the money Stimpy!

Stimpy: You know what Ren? I am tired of you thinking of me as a tool for your amusement. Here is your money Ren.

*Stimpy starts beating him with the sack of money. By the time he’s done the bag is red*

Cossack: You know what? I don’t even care anymore! Take your damn money! I’m gonna get wasted.

*He leaves and Master Shake and Co just stare*

Master Shake: Okay, this was certainly THE best day ever!

Frylock: A quick question Shake, how did you get this job?

Master Shake: I did some things I ain’t proud of.

Frylock: My god Shake! You don’t mean…

Master Shake: Yes, I sold Meatwad to science! Hahaha!

Meatwad: I don't wanna be sold to Mr. Science!

Master Shake: Tough luck!

Frylock: I wasn’t expecting that.

Carl: Hey, Hey, Hey! That Russian bastard stole my car! Damn everyone to hell

Stimpy: Happy Happy Joy Joy Happy Happy Joy Joy!

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