Cossack's Comrades

Alpha Season 2: Epilogue 9

The Epilogue of the Epilogue: The Musical

*It is a normal morning in the Megaman community. Countless teams are going around the Community Square and has broke into song. *

Ti-An: Hello!

Ring: Hello!

Shadowblade: Hello!

Bizzaro: Good Bye!

Drill: There goes the Six trying to kill City Garage. They seem to be faring well. Every morning just the same since the morning that I came to this small Community…

Tosta: Morning Drill!

Drill: Morning Tosta.

Tosta: Where are you heading?

Drill: Off to find those stoners. They are always causing trouble.

Tosta: Good luck with that. Hey Ben hurry it up please! Come on!

Koala Brothers: Look there he goes. His team is strange no question. They have more then they can tell.

Britt: With Jay and Silent Bob, and those Super Hero nut jobs. They really are a different team CC.

Gauntlet: Hello!

Gary: Good Day!

Gauntlet: How are the pranks going?

Xellosss: Hello!

Gauntlet and Gary: GO AWAY!

Xellosss: You don't have to be so rude.

Gauntlet: You must be joking me.

Gary: This will be a long one.

Dust: I love being in this Megaman Community!

*See Jay and Bob dealing *

Jay: Step right up! Fantastic products are all over here! Top Quality Bongs!

Drill: What are you doing? Are you dealing again!

Jay: Yeah bitch. But look at all the top grade money! Hard is buying like crazy and those A.A. guys are buying them too.

Drill: I thought you promised Mr. Parr you wouldn’t do this again.

Jay: Fuck that fat man! Bob and me are rogues!

Silent Bob: *Nods*

Drill: Whatever but tell him when you get back.

*Now Jay starts to sing as well*

Jay: Look how he goes in fucking perfect style. He thinks that he is the best!

Starnik: Yo you got some bongs?

Jay: Of course. This ones real tall!

Starnik: What a great team that CC is really!

*BB runs by and is also singing*

BB: Wow! Isn't this amazing! I finally made the perfect one! My taco is the best in the world! It’s a shame there’s only just one.

*Classi Cal and Rai pass by*

Classi Cal: Now its no wonder that team is so special. BB tacos beat that of Taco Bells!

Rai: Yeah I guess your right. Shame I lost my appetite. That really was a good taco…

BB: It was the ultimate taco!

Classi Cal: And it’s made by BB of CC!

*Lurking in the shadows we can make out Krypto and Ballade spying on Drill, but also killing a police bot*

Ballade: Wow you killed him really fast! You are the best shots man I have ever seen!

Krypto: I know.

Ballade: No robot master can stand a chance against you. Hehehe and no human for that matter.

Krypto: Maybe that was once the case but then she came along.

Ballade: What? Drill's girlfriend?

Krypto: She’s the one. The girl I will kill.

Ballade: But she's…

Krypto: Someone who defeated me. And what do I do when I am beaten?

Ballade: Kill, but…

*Not him too…*

Krypto: I went to go and kill my puny master! I went to strike then it happened!
That girl made a force field, and I was nearly killed! So I'm gonna go and kill that girl named Vi!

Ballade: Look where he goes. He's so powerful.

Krypto: Kryptoman! He's the best. One day I will exceed his great power and dominate this small community!

*They get caught in a crowd full of people*

Starnik: Yo.

Gary: Wazzup?

Starnik: What's going on?

Pharaoh: You call this Pepsi?

Ti-An: It’s a diet one. It tastes the same.

Pharaoh: NOW YOU DIE!

Krypto: Please let me through!

Hard: Okay now I'm drunk.

*Now we hear Dive sing*

Dive: I am merrily running by!

Krypto: Todays the day Violet Parr must die!

*Then everyone goes in front of Krypto *

All: Lets sing our song about that small little team. We all like what they’ve done! Sure sometimes they are fags, but it is a passing fad. They really are a special team. A different but a special team. A team with many members to say CC!

*The song suddenly stops. Kryptoman flys up with Ballade*

Drill: Why are we singing? Hmm well come on team lets head back home.

Ring: Uh why do you have flowers?

Drill: For Vi, you ass. Come on.

*Meanwhile lurking overhead*

Krypto: Drill knows where she is. I will find out.

*Now back to the citadel*

Drill: You are what?!

Helen: Unfortunately we are moving out and staying with one of Bob’s friends until our house is done.

Cossack: Yes!

Helen: *Extends her arm and punches Cossack*

Cossack: Ow…

Ring: Why are you leaving anyway?

Helen: I fell the best way to say this is in song.
You see, our friends, we don't fell comfortable. Its not just you, but Jay and Bob. We fear our kids might buy some bongs so: We have to leave this Community!

Vi: Well I want to stay with my newly found friends. I know that's what I want indeed!

Helen: Okay but god not Dash.

Dash: That's not fair to me.

Bob: Listen to honey.

Drill: This is so different then what I had planned.

*Song is finally over*

Toad: This musical is strange. I can't follow it.

Jack-Jack: Ghee! Whaa!

Girls: Aw isn’t he precious?

Dive: Hey isn’t it time to go?

BB: That's right! The Megaman 1-6 teams are meeting at a pub.

Bob: Aren't you underage?

BB: I'm not but here we are in robot form so it can’t affect us that bad.

Drill: We’ll be back in 2 hours. Later.

Cossack: H…help me!

*At the Hard’s bar Gauntlet is moaning over a defeat*

Gauntlet: Damn that Xelloss! If I were only fast enough I’d kill him!

Starnik: Darn right!

Gauntlet: Dismissed! Rejected! Publicly humiliated
Why, it's more than I can bear.

Starnik: More Booze?

Gauntlet: What for? Nothing helps. I'm disgraced.

Starnik: Who you? Never! Gauntlet!, you've got to pull yourself together!

*More singing, by Starnik? *

Starnik: Gosh, it disturbs me to see you Gauntlet,
Looking so down in the dumps.
Ev'ry guy here'd love to be you, Gauntlet,
even when taking your lumps.
There's no man in town as admired as you,
You're everyone's favorite guy.
Everyone's awed and inspired by you,
and it's not very hard to see why!
No one's slick as Gauntlet,
no one's quick as Gauntlet,

Gary: No ones Brain is as incredibly lame as Gauntlet's.

Starnik: For there's no man in town half as manly,
Perfect, a pure paragon!
You can ask any Axle, Burner, or Gary,
and they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on.
Team Members: No one's been like Gauntlet,
a kingpin like Gauntlet,

Shadowblade: No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Gauntlet.

Gauntlet: As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating!

Team Members: My, what a guy, that Gauntlet!
Give five "hurrahs!"
Give twelve "hip hips!"

Rai: Gauntlet is the best and the rest is all drips.

Team Members: No one fights like Gauntlet,
Douses lights like Gauntlet,

Ti-An: In a wrestling match nobody bites like Gauntlet.

BB, Centaur Girl, Britt, Fushi, and Classi Cal: For there's no one as burly and brawny.

Needle Gal: Yuck!

Ring: HEY!

Gauntlet: As you see I've got biceps to spare.

Skull: Not a bit of him scraggly or scrawny,

Gauntlet: That's right!
And every last inch of me's covered with hair.

CC: No one hits like Gauntlet,

S6: Matches wits like Gauntlet,

WW: In a spitting match nobody spits like Gauntlet.

Gauntlet: I'm especially good at expectorating!
Ptoooie!

All: Ten points for Gauntlet!

Gauntlet: When I was a lad I threw four-dozen blades
every morning for my abs to get large.
And now that I'm grown I threw five-dozen blades
so they’re roughly the size of a barge!

All: No one shoots like Gauntlet,
Makes those beauts like Gauntlet.

Ti-An: Then goes tromping around wearing boots like Gauntlet.

Gauntlet: I use antlers in all of my decorating!

AA: Say it again!

MM (Metallic Mercenaries): Who's a man among men

S6: And let's say it once more.

MM (Maniacs): Who's that hero next door?

ALL: Who's a super success?
Don't you know?
Can't you guess?
Ask his fans and his five hangers-on.
There's just one guy in town,
Who's got all of it down!

All: Gauntlet!

Gauntlet: Thanks Guys. I feel much better! Im off to kill him!
*Gauntlet runs off and Needlegal walks in. *

Needlegal: Thanks for cheering him up. Here’s the money for helping.

All: Yay money!

*Suddenly Jay and Bob come in and start announcing stuff*

Jay: Come on little Robot fucks, lets come on over and buy some bongs, smokes, and cigars! They are cheap, right Lunchbox?

Silent Bob: *Nods*

Skull: Oh no. I can hear a song coming on…again.

*And he's right. *

Jay: Buy some bongs, buy some smokes. Lets go and buy them. Come on folks! Its Jay and Silent Bob, good peeps so sit and watch the rest.
Heres a bong. Nice and tall. It is huge, as big as a wall. Do I hear $20? No well here is something better:
A cigar. A nice one too. Its like Groucho’s except its blue. And our rates here are never second best. Come one and check our web page, you will like its price range. Buy some bongs, buy some smokes, buy some stuff.
Golden bongs on silver chairs, yes you see we came prepared. We’ll get ready for our share in this crazy mad mad day. Your may be tired, and real scared, but Jay and Bob are real prepared. No ones gloomy or complaining while we are entertaining.
We sell all kinds of stuff. Half this stuff will make you buff. And come on my dear these prices cant be beat. So stay and hear awhile you little pedophiles. Buy some stuff. We guarantee the love. Buy some bongs, buy some smoke, buy some stuff.
In 10 years we may be sell outs, or even just some washouts but here’s what I think will happen. I believe we’ll be in prison. That my friends is what I’m counting on. Those years will be grueling, maybe even wrenching. What good are dealers who cant even deal? Ah these old days that we are dealing. These days are the greatest so come on Bob let us hear it!

Silent Bob: Okay okay here’s the hay. We are ready for a fray. The sales have poured and thank the lord I may look real nice and fresh. With those smokes they need a match and with that our hatch isn’t matched. I don't know what I just said so take it over Red!

Jay: We are set for our life! Holy crap who turned out the lights? Oh well I guess I am just tripping fast. We have a lot to do is it one bong or 2 for our friends of our dear friends?

Everyone minus CC, and Jay and Bob: We’ll buy some smokes we’ll buy some bongs. We’ll buy it all Jay and Bob! Your song has reeled us in and now we are real obsessed! We need them bad so hurry please. So give me mine first no wait we think we’re gonna burst. We will burst!

Jay: Okay folks, settle down. We have enough for the town so come on and get ready really fast! Right now you are all on line but its not a waste of time so buy some bongs, buy some smokes, so buy some stuff!

*The song ends and in the end everyone bought stuff, minus the CC*

Gauntlet: I can sell these for higher prices.

Gary: Didn’t you run off? How’d you get here?

Gauntlet: That's a secret!

*Poof! *

Xelloss Mister Gauntlet I’m afraid that's my phrase.

Gauntlet: Xelloss!

BB: Uh lets just go now.

Drill: Yeah…Jay and Bob, come with us. NOW!

Jay: Okay. We’ve made our money.

*But far above our heroes…*

Krypto: Hmm those two stoners are always with the CC.

Ballade: Yeah. They nearly killed me as Omni! But they have no idea what is going on. They just keep on getting stoned.

Krypto: I feel I must sing:
Ballade my comrade I’ve been thinking.

Ballade: A dangerous pastime.

Krypto: I know. But those stoners might know where to find Vi, and their brains are only so-so. Now my ingenious brain has come up with a devious horrible plan. I promised myself I’d kill that girl and right now I’ll tell you that plan!

*Whispers plan to Ballade*

Ballade: Now I get it! Lets go!

Both: No one is smart like Krypto, no ones mean like Krypto!

Ballade: No one kills small little girls like Krypto!

Krypto: And so her poor death I will really be waiting…

Both: My what a guy…KRYPTO!

*The citadel*

Drill: Look you have to stop the dealing. Our friends are moving out thanks to it.

Ring: Yeah.

Jay: Listen, who saved you from that stupid Omni? We did.

Pharaoh: But Vi saved us from Krypto.

Jay: But we were here first! Not them. Us!

Drill: I suppose he's got a point. Aw damn I forgot a paper. Jay, we will let you stay if you go and get me a paper.

Jay: Okay bitches.

*Outside*

Krypto: Hehehe phase one is complete. Thank god I bugged their house a long time ago. Time for phase 2. (If he bugged the house, wouldn’t he know Vi was there already?)

*So the stoner duo heads out and heads to another bar where they hope to get the paper. On the bar in big words is says: “Free Paper here!” But in there are 11 villains: Wily, Met King, Metool, Mailman, Cell, Naraku, Punk, Enker, Quint, Ballade and Krypto. *

Krypto: (Excellent this is going perfectly) Hmm? Aren't you those stoners who hang around with those damn communists?

Jay: Yeah we are. Do you guys know them (Totally Clueless)

Krypto: We are friends of them. Tell me do you know where Drill’s girlfriend is?

Jay: You mean the broad with the black hair? Oh she is at their base.

Krypto: Finally. Everyone! At that citadel there are monsters with super powers! They are the Incredibles! They are evil! I say we kill them!

*Another song…great*

Wily: We’re not safe until their caught.

Cell: There may be an awesome fight!

Met King: Set to sacrifice my metools with their powerful super might!

Naraku: They will kill us in an instant as if we are some bags.

Krypto: So its time to take some action men! Its time to kill some fags!
Through the thick Russian wood through an evil darken shadow
We the nightmares will have a scary ride!
Say a prayer and were there in the Russian Cossack Citadel and there’s something truly terrible inside
Its supers! Some say the Incredibles! One can stretch; one can lift after a big feast.
One can run one hide but that wont help cause they’re dead! Double dead! Kill them all.

Jay: We won’t let you do this, bitches!

Krypto: If you're not with us, you're against us. Bring the fat man! We can't let them run and warn the condemned!

Jay: Let us go!

*Are thrown in a jail cell*

Krypto: I say we slaughter them! Who’s with me?

Villains: I am I am I am!
Light your torch! Ride your porche!

Krypto: Screw your evil in the sticking place

Villains: We’re counting on Krypto to lead the way!
Through the mist and the wood where within that blasted Citadel people are lurking that you don’t see every day!
Its supers! Ones with very evil powers! We wont rest till they are good and deceased! Sally Forth Tally Ho grab your sword Do Your hoe! Praise Ala and here we go!

Krypto: We go sack the citadel, and bring back their heads!

Jay: Oh lunchbox this is all my fault. What am I gonna do?

Silent Bob: *Pulls out club*

Jay: Awesome.

Villains: We don’t like what is good. Understand it actually kills us! And those Supers are saints to say the least. Bring your guns and your knives! We’ll save our asses and our lives! Let us kill them with some pride! Kill them All!

Drill: Well great they still aren’t here. God I hate those stoners.

Cossack: Maybe it would have been better if they never left at all.

Helen: What is that?

Ring: Holy crap! It’s Krypto…and every other bad guy we ever faced!

Dash: And closing!

Krypto: Take whatever stuff you can find but remember, the girl is mine!

CC and Incredibles: Hard to see battles high! We’ll go marching into battle, although I think their life span just decreased.

Villains: Raise the gun, kill them all! Here we come we’re 11 strong, and 11 villains cant be wrong! Kill them all!

*The song ends…at last*

* The villains break in and are ambushed by the team and the Incredibles! Mr. Incredible is using his super strength, Elastigirl is stretching, Dive is firing, and everyone is fighting. Even Jack-Jack, who transformed into a mini monster (finally proving to the family he had powers), started fighting. But Vi was on the run…from Krypto. *

Krypto: Now I will finally kill you girl. You defeated me, but you will suffer.

Vi: No!

*Krypto jumps at her and Vi flinches, but Drill comes and saves her. *

Vi: Are you for real?

Drill: I'm no ghost.

*She faints*

Krypto: Well well it seems you are going to interfere again. DIE!

Drill: I will continue until you die!

*They fight while Vi is still down. But Drill is down! *

Krypto: Hehehe now its nighttime master!

Voice: NOT SO FAST YOU GREEN FUCK!

Krypto: What? YOU!

Jay: That's right. That couldn’t hold us. I have some fireworks left. They will take care of you.

Krypto: You think it will work? Fine shoot me.

Jay: Here: BOMB PARTY!

Krypto: Well that was pitiful… WHY DOES IT STING!

Drill: Hehehe they were filled with flu shot, right Jay?

Jay: No, why the fuck would I use that? I hit him with an acid firework. Its more powerful then Toad's, and more effective. So now you lose. And your posse is gone.

*Its true everyone is gone and Krypto is surrounded! *

Krypto: Damn you all! I will come back! Beware! I will be stronger then ever!

* He disappears. Vi wakes up and hugs Drill.*

Drill: You saved us all, Jay and Bob. Thanks.

Helen: We are sorry we didn’t feel comfortable with you; it was just that we didn’t want our kids to get stoned.

Jay: No problem.

Silent Bob: Yeah you see we all have different professions and ours happen to be dealers, and yours are being heroes. Even though our jobs are opposite, we should still be friends. So what do you say?

Bob: That is something I will shake to.

*They shake, but Bob breaks Silent Bob's finger. He screams. We laugh. *

Drill: So you are staying?

Helen: Hell no!

Dust: Wow that was crazy.

Toad: Yeah but…

*The final song*

The CC: We really are a crazy team!

Jay, Silent Bob and the Parrs: A really friendly super team!

All:
The best team around, we say CC!

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