Cossack's Comrades

Alpha Season 3: Epilogue 1

Jumping the Bandwagon
by Anime Master

Narrator: It has been a tiring week for the Comrades. After the appearance of a mysterious Wraithman, our heroes have been on guard…well not really…okay not at all.

Jay: Pass this shit around!

Cossack: Wooho! This is what I’m talking about!

Toad: …is he always like this?

BB: :D

Toad: …I’ll take that as a yes.

Drill: Cossack you called us here to show us something not get high.

Cossack: Hm? *Cough* Oh yes. Good news everyone. My latest invention is complete!

Ring: Is it that one where you were going to use on…

Cossack: !!!! NOT THAT ONE YOU DOLT! I TOLD YOU TO KEEP THAT UNDER WRAPS!

Kalinka: Keep what under wraps Father?

Cossack: NOTHING! Grr…Anyway behold!

*Brings out a Game Boy Advance*

Cossack: I give you the DS!

Skull: …that’s not a DS.

Cossack: SILENCE! IT IS A DS BECAUSE I SAID SO!

Dive: Okay…but you didn’t make it.

Cossack: Ah but I modified it. I give you the NET NAVI MAKER! YOU WILL NOW BECOME NET NAVIS!

Kalinka: Use that Caps Lock one more time and I’ll ban you from this epilogue.

Cossack: Damn daughter. Anyway you can now become Net Navis.

Diveman: Wooho!

Cossack: Not you Diveman. Or you Dustman. I need you elsewhere. No form for you two. Same to you Jay and Silent Bob. I need you here.

Jay: That’s fucked up.

Cossack: Anyway take your damn forms and leave me alone.

*And with this they become Net Navis*

Drill.EXE: Cyberspace rules. I love it.

Bright.EXE: CYBER TACOS!

Skull.EXE: Our forms kick ass. Wait...where’s Ring?

Ring.EXE: …I’m not coming out.

Pharaoh.EXE: Aw come on. It cant be that bad.

*Ring.EXE steps out*

Comrades: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Ring.EXE: FUCK YOU TOO!

Toad.EXE: Someone's a little effeminate.

Bright.EXE: Ghey!

Ring.EXE: GOD DAMN IT!

Voice: Hey leave her alone!

Drill.EXE: ?

Bob: As Guardian of the Net I order you to leave this fine woman alone.

Matrix: I say we just shoot them. They are obviously viruses.

Bob: You know where I stand on that. If they are Viruses we can use them to help us stop Megabyte.

Toad.EXE: RIBBIT!

Skull.EXE: Listen we are Net Navi’s. Robot’s put on the net. However I say we help them with this Megabit character.

Bob: Megabyte.

Skull.EXE: Whatever. Who’s with me?

Drill.EXE: Listen to me asshole, I’m the leader not you! Remember what happened to Shadowy? It will happen to you if you do that again. But I agree with you. Let’s help them.

Bob: Excellent. The more the merrier. Now to Mainframe, where Megabyte is in control!

Matrix: Hey babe. If AndrAI isn’t around want me to show you the net?

Ring.EXE: GET ME OUT OF HERE!

*And so the Fellowship of the Net traveled to Mainframe, stopping in the Wood of Esgrad and Mount Doom. Upon reaching their destination they grouped up with their other allies.*

Dot: Bob, he has Phong! What are we going to do?

Bob: We storm the city.

Matrix: I won’t rest until I do in that Virus trash.

AndrAI: Matrix, who is this woman?

Matrix: She is Ring. She’s no one.

Ring.EXE: …I give up.

Skull.EXE: It’s okay ring. I wont rest until you are back to being a guy.

Drill.EXE: Grr…oh it’s on.

Mike the TV: Hey Drill.EXE, care to make a statement on this?

Pharaoh.EXE: *Shoots him*

Mike the TV: Ow…

Pharaoh.EXE: I hate Reporters.

Toad.EXE: RIBBIT! RIBBIT!

Bob: What does that mean?

Bright.EXE: Up.

Dot: You make zero sense!

Skull.EXE: LOOK OUT! IT’s COMING RIGHT FOR US!

Skull.EXE: *Shoots a bone at a female virus*

Hexadecimal: How rude. Bob, you should tell your friends to respect me.

Bob: Hello Hex.

Hexadecimal: Oh my brother does enjoy his capture of the Net. So easy.

Matrix: Virus!

*Shoots at her with GUN*

Hexadecimal: You can’t shoot my pretty face!!!

Bob: Matrix, you go find Megabyte. Comrades, fight the viruses. I got Hex.

Hexadecimal: Ooooo I have always wanted you to say that.

Drill.EXE: Comrades, shall we fight?

Ring.EXE: I’m going home.

Skull.EXE: Be a man. Stay and fight.

*A virus comes and hits Skull.EXE*

Toad.EXE: RIBBIT!

Skull.EXE: Err…help m…e dRilL.

Drill.EXE: Why should I? It’s only a flesh wound.

Pharaoh.EXE: Drill, shall we go and assist Matrix.

Drill.EXE: Lets go and…

Dive.EXE: Hi guys I’m here!

Dust.EXE: Me too! Woah Ring you got hot.

Ring.EXE: Fuck you. Why did Cossack want you guys?

Dust.EXE: Um…you don’t want to know.

Pharaoh.EXE: I can tell. Lets go kick some ass!

*So the Comrades leave Skull behind and go to where Matrix is fighting Megabyte.*

Megabyte: What is this? No witty remark? Come on little Enzo.

Matrix: I will see your head on a spike!

Megabyte: We shall see. Now I shall use Phong’s severed head to control the net.

Drill.EXE: COMRADES FIRE!

*They attack the virus and delete him.*

Pharaoh.EXE: Thank god he’s dead. Reminded me of Virgil from Mighty Max.

Matrix: Ring, we defeated him. Now we can be alone.

Ring.EXE: FUCK NO! I’M TIRED OF THIS!

*And she unleashes her attack, killing the guardian.*

*Shot*

*Sorry. Did I say ‘She?’ I meant ‘Him.’*

Ring.EXE: Let’s leave before the blue guy comes and tries to kill us.

Drill.EXE: Agreed. Let’s never speak of this again.

*Jack Out*

Cossack: Ah you're back. How was the net?

Ring: May I see the “DS”?

Cossack: Sure!

*Destroys it.*

Cossack: DUDE! MY MACHINE!

Kalinka: I warned you. You’re IP Banned from the rest of this Epilogue.

Drill: So we are down a Skullman. Joy. Okay as far as anyone is concerned he is a missing person. Understand?

Toad: Yep. Though I have an idea for who could be our new one.

*Who is this person who will replace Err? Find out next epilogue!*

Skull.EXE: LAME!

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