Cossack's Comrades

Alpha Season 4: Epilogue 17


(The Citadel, by night. It all seems awfully quiet, as if everyone had left the place. Fortunately, some decided to keep the place until potential threats.)

Geoff *with a bag of chips* : Woohoo !

(Or maybe because it was 24 Hour Wrestling Marathon.)

Geoff : All the others left for some Convention. Wasn't gonna spoil their fun.

(What happened the last time you were at one, by the way ?)

Geoff : Challenged all cosplayers, an' beat them in a pulp. Buncha sissies.

(Apparently, someone's going to break that paradise of yours.)

? : *knocks at the door* Any of youse Comrades here ? The boss wants-a to talk with you !

Geoff : The pizza mob guy. Sounds like it'll be a fun night after all. Gonna bring the Emo Twins wit' me, though.

(So, not everyone came ?)

Geoff : We're talkin' abou' the asocial duo. And they don' have taste about ole wrestlin'.

(Sounds plausible.
Later, in a familiar restaurant...)

Trenchcoat #1 : I don't see why we must wear such cliché clothes.

Geoff : C'mon, every guy comin' incognito hasta wear trenchcoat an' fedora.

Trenchcoat #2 : And we'll make the Don a nice surprise, isn't it, Dive ?

Geoff : Damn straight.

Waiter : How may I ... good Lord, not you again !

Geoff : We're gonna see your boss, thank ya. *climbs upstairs, followed by the trenchcoat guys*

Don Girogeva : Ah, Cossack's lackeys. Where's the rest of your-a gang ?

Geoff : Busy. Ye only have me an' the Trenchcoat twins. Why did ya call us ?

Don : I need some help about a new gang, but will your friends be up to it ?

Trenchcoat #2 : We'll see about it ... *eyes glow blue*

Don : ... Uh-oh.

(Simultaneously, both Comrades removed their trenchcoats to reveal the Blue Fox Elite : Skull and Toad.)

Don (in a weak voice) : Long time no see, Blue Fox.

Regulus : Call me Toad. Anyway, what's the matter ?

Don : ...

Hunter *raises his claw* : Speak.

Don : R-right. There's-a been some new gang recently, and they started suppressing my allies one after another.

Regulus : So ? Send some hitmen and call it a day.

Don : We tried ! But they started to send the hitmen back.

Hunter : How is that terrible ?

Don : It was in several small boxes.

Geoff : I'm likin' these guys already.

Don : I figure Blue Fox's friends could solve the matter while everyone else failed.

Regulus : Good thinking. Any hints before we start ?

Don : There were some cassettes along with the boxes, and the voice on it had a German accent.

Hunter, Regulus and Geoff : Flakmaster.

Regulus : We'll be on our way. Soon, you'll be back to being the only mob boss around.

Don : Many thanks !

(As the Comrades left, the Don reached under his desk and picked three cassettes : a blue, a red and a black one. Which then transformed.)

Don : Was it good ?

Rumble : Convincing, fella. Guess the Boss will go easy on you.

Frenzy : Or just not blame you if it fails !

Don : *relieved* Good. Does your bird wanna cracker ?

Lazerbeak : *glares at the Don*

Rumble : He wants to maul you apart for that line.

(Back to the Comrades, then.)

Regulus : If Flakmaster knows his job, we won't be able to just find him by chance.

Hunter : Meaning we must investigate.

Geoff : Clever Bones. As if I didn't figger tha' on my own.

Regulus : I suggest we split to look for clues.

Geoff : Good thinkin', Kermit. You Emo Twins will play Batman while I go an' look into the pubs.

Hunter : Do these people know you ?

Geoff : Kid, if I got a penny fer each time I started a fight or got expelled in these pubs, I could buy the damn USA. An' I'd still have enough ta buy Canada as well.

(Let's go a bit later, on the roofs.)

Thug 1 : Hey, Vlad. How's it doing ?

Thug 2 : Nice. Can't complain. And you, Sacha ?

Sacha : Just joined the Don's crew. He's an okay fellow. Got news of Igor ?

Vlad : Unpleasant ones. Seems like he got taken by ... the Haunter.

Sacha : You lost me there. Who's that Haunter guy ?

Vlad : No one really knows. Some think he's a new vigilante, like the Batman. Others say he was a dude killed by the SA, and he came back for revenge.

Sacha : That's just silly. What's next ? He works with Blue Fox ?

Vlad : *hushes* Don't say that name ! He has ears everywhere. And if he finds out about you ... you'll regret it.

? : You couldn't be more right.

(Standing in front of the thugs was a cloaked silhouette, only revealing a claw and a single red eye.)

Vlad : It's him ! The Haunter !

Sacha : Taste lead, sucker ! *pulls out a gun*

(The criminal opened fire on the "vigilante", only to see it blocked by a forcefield. Said vigilante didn't lose time in disarming Sacha and grabbing his throat with his own claw.)

"Haunter" : I heard you mentionned Batman. You will find I am much, much worse.

Sacha : *gargles a question*

"Haunter" : To start with, I lack what you call "mercy" and "empathy". *enforces his grip on Sacha's neck*

? *from the shadows* : That will be enough for now.

(Before Vlad could move, he found himself disarmed and mastered by the second member of the Duo : Blue Fox.)

Vlad : It was r-right. Y-you two work together !

Hunter : Correct. *dumps Sacha to the ground*

Regulus : We need info. Heard of a Flakmaster recently ?

Sacha *massaging his throat* : D-doesn't ring a bell, ma- er, Blue Fox.

Hunter : Monocle. Mouthplate. German accent.

Regulus : And he's a damn Transformer as well. Hard to miss in a crowd.

Vlad : We heard nothing of that guy ! Honestly !

Sacha : We may know someone who knows, though. You have a cheque ready ?

Vlad : Cut it out, you moron !

Hunter : *turns his claw to a Buster* Is "your life" good enough of a pay ?

Regulus : We might give you a nickel for laundry, by the looks of it.

Sacha : Alright ! Alright ! It's a yellow jeep near the Shades ! It's hard to miss !

Regulus : Sounds good enough of a hint. We'll leave you boys alone.

Hunter : *lowers his Buster*

Regulus : Oh, and tell your friends ... The Terrifying Onslaught is out in town.

(Later, the terrific duo waited for their last friend near the mentionned vehicle.)

Regulus *to Geoff who's coming* : You smell like alcohol, cold cigarettes and blood. Not that it changes much from usual.

Geoff : Not everyone has time ta use make-up, Sewer-Boy.

Hunter *removing his cloak hood* : Did you find anything useful ?

Geoff : Found some acquaintances, bashed some skulls, an' made them repay some debts. I finally got tha word fer a yellow jeep aroun' here.

Regulus : Just like us. We may be dealing with the top street guy around.

Geoff : An' if this is who I think, ye're gonna have ta dirty yer hands.

Hunter : Why is that so ?

Geoff : Lesson in life, Skeletor : Never trust someone with a yellow jeep. Especially if that guy IS th' yellow jeep.

(On that clue, the jeep transformed to reveal...)

Geoff : Swindle, ya old bastard. Still eavesdroppin' on honest people ?

Swindle : "Honest" people ? Are we talking about Blue Fox, his lacky and the angry Sub ? Long time no see, Dive. How's life doing ?

Geoff : A whole deal worse now that I saw you.

Swindle : Oh, you're still mad about that Energon business ?

Geoff : Ye're supposed ta drink Energon, not ta have it explodin' in yer mouth.

Regulus : And I remember you were involved in the theft of my stocks, Cybertronian scum.

Swindle : So is it my fault if my business partners had a logo that looked exactly like yours ? You suspect me automatically ? I'm wounded, pals. Seriously wounded.

Geoff : Cut the drama, Dibbler. Even ya don' believe it.

Swindle : I still like to put on a show. And what is your mute friend up to, by the way ?

Hunter : I noticed you were once part of the Combaticons. Where are the others ?

Swindle : Well ... we weren't that hot with the 'Cons Command to start with, so we left to our own ways. Last I heard, they still worked together as soldiers of fortune.

Regulus : Fleeing a crime they didn't commit, right ?

Geoff : And did they repaint ole Blast-Off black ? *starts humming loudly a familiar theme*

Swindle : Cut it out ! Still, we keep in touch a bit. Always helps to be a Combaticon when it comes to being paid.

Regulus : Sure thing. Now, tell us what you know on Flakmaster.

Swindle : He resides at this address. *hands a grubby note* Since you're with my old pal Dive, it's free for today.

Geoff : *grabs the note* If ya led us inna trap, I'm gonna beat yer aft all th' way ta Cybertron. An' then sell yer spare parts ta a robotics college.

Regulus : Oh, and before we leave, you might have liked to know that these Panzerkons are stealing your thunder.

Swindle : *eyes narrow* What do you mean ?

Hunter : War criminals, working back with Megatron. Combiner Team as well.

Regulus : And they'd even beat Bruticus without a sweat. Guess you and your pals will only be a little note in the Decepticon history in the end...

Swindle : I ... will see what to do. Just go and see the guy, now.

(Near said address...)

Hunter : How did you two come to know Swindle ?

Geoff : Sometimes, ya need a firm support when dealin' with th' underground. An' he had th' damn best quality/price ratio.

Regulus : He had a certain experience with Middle East. Always helps when you want to open your business to a new market.

(As they stepped further in the alley...)

? : Hold on, y'all ! Hands in the air !

(Our three Comrades found themselves surrounded by familiar ennemies !)

Treader *walking out of the shadows* : Nice of you to pay a visit. The boss will soon be ready to meet you.

Gehenos : Too bad, he's already comin'.

Regulus : What is the problem with th- ... oh. My.

(Let's say Flakmaster can have bad clothing tastes.)

Geoff : Is that a giant fur coat ?

Hunter : The fact you're using a cigar, despite your mouthplate, leaves me perplex.

Flakmaster : Eazy reazoning : to act like a mob boss, you must act and vear clothes like a mob boss.

Regulus : You really have no taste in clothes, do you ?

Geoff : A for th' effort, though. Now, why did ya bring us here ?

Flakmaster : I knew your friends vere going to zis convention since weeks, so I decided to gife myself a nice pozition in ze mob and trap you all.

Regulus : So, you used the Don to get us ?

Flakmaster : *puffing on his cigar* Brilliant sinking, Toadman ! And I vanted especially ze sree of you to be here. *snaps his fingers*

Nightspinner : *takes a box and opens it* I suppose you know what this is.

Hunter : Cerebro-shells.

Flakmaster : From ze very designs of my ... colleague Bombshell ! You know vhere zis is going, isn't it ?

Treader : *prepares a blade* So hold them carefully while we implant those nifty items in your pretty heads !

Stonegrinder, Nightspinner and Dreadnought : *grab Skull, Toad and Dive*

Gehenos : Welcome to the Decepticons, future spies !

Geoff : Kiss my aft, Zippo-boy !

(At this moment, the closest wall shattered, followed by five huge silhouettes.)

Onslaught : So these are the guys, eh ? Megatron is really shuffling through the lower desks nowadays.

Stonegrinder : Hey, Onslaught ! How ya doing, fella ?

Onslaught : Good. Except that I learned about how you guys were taking on our role !

Swindle : *winks at Dive* You're in debt, now.

Geoff : Coulda broken free anytime.

Flakmaster : Taking your role ? And here I thought you left ze 'Cons !

Blast-Off : Doesn't mean we don't have standards for copycats like you.


Flakmaster : You want action ? You'll hafe action ! Panzerkons, form Imperator !

Onslaught : As you wish ! Combaticons, form Bruticus !

Bruticus : Bruticus DEVASTATE copycat !

Imperator : Only the superior shall win !

(Luckily, the Comrades escaped before the brawl began.)

Regulus : Guess we'll leave them at peace.

Hunter : What are you doing with this camera ?

Geoff : *recording the fight* Giant robot wrestling, Skellington ! People will pay bucks fer this !

Regulus : I happen to have some pay-per-view channels unused. Shall we work together ?

Geoff : Deal. An' after that, we'll pay th' Don a friendly visit.

(After a few action-packed minutes, the fight ended, leaving two tired Decepticon teams alone.)

Onslaught : I admit ... you guys are true Decepticon stuff.

Dreadnought : Combaticons ... good.

Vortex : We must go now, boss. We still have a contract with these Megara fellows.

Onslaught : Got it. *turns to Swindle* Don't ehsitate to call again for help.

Swindle : Sure thing, boss !


Vortex : ... We'll sell you to Megatron as an ashtray.

Swindle : *gulps*

Flakmaster : *shakes hands with Onslaught* Alvays ready for a rematch.

Onslaught : Thanks a lot. *picks up the cigar and puffs on it* I love it when a plan all comes together.

Blast-Off : *transforms* We're on our way, people ! See you !

Treader : *as the Combaticons and Swindle leave* Now that we failed, do we return home, sir ?

Flakmaster : I don't see vhy not. Ve still hafe a solid stronghold in zese undergrounds. Zat, and it's a Starscream-free place.

Dreadnought : I liked Thtarthcream, thur. He wath a good target.

Stonegrinder : Good point. Howsabout we travel places ? Like, a week-end here, and the week in the Nemesis ?

Flakmaster : A good idea to submit to Herr Megatron. Brilliant thinking, Stonegrinder !

(Let's leave the Panzerkons to their half-victory, and check on the trio.)

Hunter : *pulling cats from the Don's desk* Fourty. Fourty-one. Fourty-two. Fourty-three.

Geoff : *smashing the cats* I could do this all day.

Don : Please, a-stop it ! It's quite-a expensive !

Regulus : But you'd make your old friends a favor, right ? For repayment of leaving you alive.

Don : *defeated* Okay.

Regulus : Hang on, I got a call. *in phone* AM. You're back to the Citadel ? Hope that was a good week-end. Us ? We're in town. We'll come back with fur coats for everyone. No, we killed no one for the money again. See you !

Hunter : Fifty. Fifty-one. Fifty-two.

(And thus, ended the first adventure of the Street Trio. PETA hopes there won't be another one soon.)




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