Cossack's Comrades

Alpha Season 4: Epilogue 11


(The story begins on the Nemesis, where familiar faces can be seen...)

Starscream : Why don't you listen to me, Megatron ? We're wasting time on this fleshling nightmare of a world ! Even you know it !

Megatron : As much as I hate it, the conquest of Cybertron depends on our victory over these Comrades.

Starscream : And how, exactly ?

Megatron : Simple. They're quite similar to these 'Maniacs, who defeated Galvatron and - oh, you were there too ! My mistake !

Starscream : Thanks for pouring boiling mercury on this wound, oh great leader.

Megatron : A reminder of your betrayal. Anyway, crushing these fools will teach us about the ways these Earthling robots function, and give us ways to upgrade our own bodies - and paving us the way to Cybertron's conquest !

Starscream : Just admit you're doing this because Galvatron is sooo much more powerful than you.

Megatron (bashes Starscream with his cannon) : Insult me again, and I'll borrow a move from Galvatron's book.

Starscream : Yes ... my lord.

Soundwave : Incoming transmission. Source : Cybertron. Signal coding : Decepticon.

Starscream : What are you waiting for ? Transfer it to main screen !

(After a few switches, Nemesis-1's screen turns on to reveal an image laced with static. Distant sounds of explosions can be heard.)

? : Eins, zwei. Eins, zwei. Does zis piece of slag actually function ? *slamming sound*

(The image stabilizes to reveal a Decepticon face. He is equipped with a mouthplate, and a visor on his right eye.*

? : It's been a long time, Herr Megatron ! And, I see zat damned Starscream still follows you. How hafe you been since your last death, Screamer ?

Starscream : You ? But ... you're supposed to be dead !

? : Says ze immortal Zeeker.

Megatron : I admit I didn't hear of you for a long time, Flakmaster. Why are you coming to me now ?

Flakmaster : Ze situation here on Cybertron is pretty bad. Me and my squad only vish to come back to a vinning leader !

Starscream : Don't listen to him, my lord ! The Seekers are enough for you to win !

Flakmaster : May I add I studied vays to defeat zese Comrades of yours ?

Megatron : Interesting. When can you come to Earth ?

Flakmaster : Immediately, mein lord ! Ve are making a last stand on the Space Bridge, and Galvatron is already losing track of his defeats !

Megatron : Excellent. I expect you on the Nemesis in ten deca-cycles.

Starscream (after the communication shuts down) : How can you trust someone who worked for Galvatron until now, my liege ?

Megatron : You're still my second-in-command, Starscream.

Starscream : ...

(After a few minutes, Flakmaster and his soldiers come aboard the Nemesis)

Flakmaster : ... Starscream. I have to fank you.

Starscream : And how, Earth-crawler ?

Flakmaster : Had it not been for your orders, I vould have been aboard ze Nemesis, instead of fighting Autobots on der Sea of Rust. But during zat time, I vas able to form a squad from farious var criminals ! State your status, soldiers !

"Flamer" : Gehenos, sir ! Voluntarily destroyed a hangar of Energon !

"Flyer" : Nightspinner ! Was caught retreating in a crucial assault !

"Crusher" : Stonegrinder. I slagged a commander who didn't like my face.

Flakmaster : Ze big one is Dreadnought. He lacks some brains.

Megatron : And your remaining soldier ? He doesn't look like a criminal to me.

"Tank" (salutes) : Treader, sir. I happen to be the ... brother of Stonegrinder.

Flakmaster : Ja, und he iz my sekond in command. Togezer, ve form ... ze Panzerkons !

Megatron : A nice name. So, Panzercons -

Flakmaster : Panzerkons ! With a "k" ! I insist on it !

Megatron : (So maybe Starscream was right...) So, how will you proceed on your first mission against the Comrades ?

Flakmaster : Everyfing is planned already. Give us a few days, and zese communists vill be history !

Megatron : Excellent. Do not fail me.

Treader : You can count on us, sir !

Stonegrinder : (Suck-up.)

Flakmaster : Now, now, no insulting each other ! Leave zat to inferior Transformers !

Megatron : Starscream will show you your section in the Nemesis.

Starscream : Why me, oh great Megatron ?

Megatron : I expect you want a talk with your old friends, isn't it ? (laughes as every other 'Con walks away.)

Flakmaster : If I'm not miztaken, all of my underlings have been judged by you, Screamer.

Panzerkons : (crack their knuckles in unison)

Starscream : *gulps*

Flakmaster : Let's have a friendly chat, in memory of ze old times !

(Let's leave this scene to get a few days later, in Cossack Citadel...)

Cossack : I have good news, people ! I finally finished to repair Ringman.

Sean :The bad news being ... ?

Kalinka : *muttering* He passed out before finishing his personality.

Jay : Best party ever, homies.

Silent Bob : *shakes head*

Cossack : So, yeah. Be nice to John.

John : *waves* Hi.

Geoff : Wanna be a good newb ? Bring me a beer.

John : Err, where is the fridge, sir ?

Geoff : *throws an empty beer at John* Fuckin' useless hula-hoop. *goes to the kitchen himself*

Hunter (walking in the main room) : Mail.

Cossack (taking the letters) : Did you scare the postman again ? Hmm ... bill, bill, ads, bill, ... Hang on. An invitation to a commemoration ?

AM : "... Being grateful for the defence of Saint-Petersburg, you are invited to the Celebration of Victory Parade, in the presidential tribune. Free drinks will be served."

Jade : About time they remember us.

Regulus : Didn't the whole "killing innocents" stuff tick them out ?

Geoff : *downing his beer* Don' look at me. If ya 'xcuse me now, I have to pack. *while running away :* Free booze, here I come !

John : So I joined war heroes ? That's great !

Regulus : I suppose I'll have a nice look at my trades with the government.

Cossack : It's all agreed, then. To Saint-Petersburg !

(And at the Parade...)

AM : I have to admit, we have quite a nice view from here. Isn't it, people ... ?

(Already, Geoff, Jay, Bob and Cossack were pillaging the drinks.)

AM : ... Nevermind.

John : Say, how come there's no one else watching the parade in this tribune ?

Sean *shrugs* : Maybe they're intimated by us.

Regulus : So, you see, this one here is the Vulpes model. It has a multi-layer armor of 35 mm, and can fire 130 mm shells.

Hunter : I see. How would it fare against the M1-Abrams ?

Regulus : Kid, even if the pilot was dead drunk, it could easily take on a whole Abrams patrol, and come out without a scratch !

(And so it goes, until...)

John : Err ... Mister Toadman ...

Regulus : Call me Regulus.

John : Yeah, Regulus ... What are those five tanks over there ?

Regulus : Hey, I never saw these before !

Sean :I'm certain they buy equipment from other industries.

Regulus : Yeah, but I'm in touch with the market ... and I never saw these ones before.

Flakmaster (through radio) : Ve are in pozition. Begin Plan Barbarrossa !

Nightspinner (through radio) : Roger, ground control ! Target in sight ... fire !

(Right after the fighter charged thrusted at them, it released a litteral wall of smoke on the tribune !)

AM : Jade, go and escort the Cossacks away ! We'll try to hold these guys down.

Jade : I'm on my way. *runs away with the drunk scientist, the two stoned freeloaders and Kalinka*

Hunter : My visuals can't get through this smoke. We're blinded.

StoneGrinder *transforming* : Try to blind this ! *delivers a kick on Skullman, which throws him to the ground, seemingly deactivated.*

Sean :No one gets away with shooting our teammates ! *fires Dust Crushers at StoneGrinder*

Flakmaster : And no one vill my hurt my Panzerkons, either. *takes out Dustman with his cannons* And now, to talk freely.

(All Panzerkons gather around Flakmaster and get ready to salute, right fist at the level of their heart.)

Flakmaster : Hrrm. Ve are ze Panzerkons, latest addition to ze powerful army of Herr Megatron.

Panzerkons, minus Dreadnought : *slam their fist on their chest* All hail Megatron !

Dreadnought : Hail ... Galvatron.

Gehenos : You fire-retardant head ! We serve Megatron now !

Dreadnought : No more ... hail Galvatron ?

Flakmaster : *nods*

Dreadnought : Hail ... Megatron.

Geoff : Great. Cybertron's retards and nazi wannabes.

Treader : Don't mock Flakmaster !

Flakmaster : Do not vaste your breath, Treader. I doubt zey vill be villing to taunt us after our ... demonstration.

Treader : *nods* Okay. You Commies run away. In five of your minutes, we come and get you.

AM : "Thanks", 'Con.

(Immediately, Geoff grabs both Hunter and Sean, and the Team proceeds to flee.)

Gehenos : Is it time yet ? My trigger systems are itching.

Flakmaster : Let's see ... Five minutes ... Must I convert zis in deca-cycles ? Astro-seconds ? Klunks ? Gott damn it !

Stonegrinder : I say we get'em now, boss !

Flakmaster : Gut, gut ! Panzerkons, transform and crush !

(Let's catch the Comrades before their impending doom, okay ?)

Jade *running back* : Okay, they're out of the battlefield.

John : Is it like this every time you go out ?

Regulus : Since the War, pretty much.

Regulus (working on Hunter and Sean) : Only minor injuries, it seems. These Decepticons held back.

Geoff (pushing Regulus aside) : Then, back off. I jus' know how ta wake people up. *slaps both of the Comrades* Naptime's over, sissies.

Sean :Uugh ... Someone got the number of that tank ?

Geoff : Ya didn't notice my fists. I'm hurt.

Hunter : The one that attacked me used vibrations. I recommend avoiding close-quarter combat.

AM : Perfectly noted, Hunter - they're coming !

(And indeed, they were charging.)

Treader (through radio) : Okay, folks ! You remember the plan !

Gehenos (through radio) : Got it ! I'll send 'em to the Pit with a sunburn !

(Immediately, the Decepticon arsonist sped up and opened fire at the Comrades.)

Jade *burning*: Why, oh WHY did I wear linen and a cape today ?!

Sean :Extinguisher time ! (After a few moves of air : ) Oh. Napalm fire ?

Gehenos *transforming* : Nearly ! This stuff is specially refined Energon ! It keeps on burnin' and burnin'. Who wants some more ?

AM *fires a Drill Bomb* : Not for now ! Sunglasses, now !

Regulus : Right on ! *Flash Stopper*

(With the Panzerkons temporarily blinded, our heroes run to a familiar river and bridge...)

Geoff : At last, they rebuilt it. But where's my statue ?

Jade : No time for this ! *dives in the river, but doesn't totally extinguishes* A bit better.

Regulus : They're still there ! Geoff, Sean, Ring, hold them back ! Hunter and I will take care of the bridge !

(As the heavy artillery was doing its job, both infiltrators disposed a nice set of grenades under the bridge.)

Regulus : Run away, now !

Treader : They're mine now !

(While the Decepticon was crossing the bridge, the Cerulean Assassin triggered the grenades, destroying the bridge for good !)

Regulus : One down, it seems. Wha- ?

(Slowly, ignoring the various instabilities in the ground, covered with various detritus, the tank was crossing the river and finally arrived in front of both surprised Comrades !)

Treader : I can travel anywhere, you know.

Stonegrinder *next to him* : And 'Cons can fly, too. Why did ya reveal your ability, rust-head ?

Treader : Gotta impress people.

Nightspinner : Seeker to Ground Control : the targets are missing.

Treader : What ?! *looks around* Oh, Primus.

Gehenos : What's the plan, now ? Some of them still look quite flammable.

Treader : Stonegrinder, track them down. Gehenos will go just after you. Nightspinner will report to Flakmaster while I take the big box to this side of the river.

Stonegrinder, Gehenos and Nightspinner : Yes, sir ! *transform and fly/roll away*

(Meanwhile, at the Comrades' temporary hideout...)

Hunter : The long-cannon model seems to have a forcefield on its treads. It will not be blocked by any obstacles in its path.

Geoff : Later, Death Boy ! Vibrator's comin' that way !

AM : People, I just know the way to take this one out.


Stonegrinder : Step back, Lighter, I can see 'em ! *transforms*

Gehenos *transforms* : All the flammables are mine, crusher.

Stonegrinder : Whatever.

Geoff *through a window* : Hey, Vibrator ! Did ya have a good night with Starscream ?

Gehenos : That's a low one.

Stonegrinder : *screams incoherently and charges*

Gehenos : *stepping back* I'll let you handle this alone, okay ?

Stonegrinder : Don't talk of that whiner anymore !

Geoff : Aww, did ya just break up ? I'm sooo sorry !

Stonegrinder : You'll get it now ! *punches the building*

(As expected, the wall collapsed. As not expected, so did the ground under the destructive Panzerkon !)

Stonegrinder : Wha' the ... ? *notices the Acid Grenades all around him* Uh-oh.

Gehenos : *watching the following explosion from afar* Gotta help now.

Hunter *from behind* : Try to get me.

Gehenos *turning back* : Hey, a flammable guy ! Let's play "dodge" ! *covers the area with fire*

AM *popping from the ground* : You know what to do, Reg.

Regulus : Sure thing. *throws grenades on Gehenos' fuel tanks*

(One apocalyptic explosion later...)

Gehenos *running around screaming* : PRIMUS ! THE HEAT ! THE HEAT ! *falls into Stonegrinder's hole*

Hunter : Two less opponents. We are left with the most dangerous ones now.

John : ... Hunter, right ?

Hunter : *nods*

John : I ... think your cloak is still on fire.

Hunter : Your point being ?

John : Well ... Er ... Nevermind.

(Back to the bridge.)

Flakmaster : Vhat am I hearing, Treader ? Zese Comrades ran away ?

Treader : Yes, sir. And I've lost contact with Gehenos and Stonegrinder.

Flakmaster : Ach, zey've been beaten. But I vant to see if zey'll be able to defeat Dreadnought. Nightspinner, scout ahead.

Nightspinner *salutes* : Got it ten-four, Ground Control ! *transforms and flies away*

Flakmaster : Treader, you vill form ze backguard, vhile I lead Dreadnought. Now, let's go. Ve have Commies to crush !

(In the skies...)

Nightspinner *through radio* : Seeker to Ground Control, single unit enemy spotted. Asking for permission to intercept.

Flakmaster *through radio* : Request granted. Transmit us ze location. Flakmaster, over.

Nightspinner : It's you and me now, ground dweller ! *transforms, lands, and fires at the Comrade* Hey, wait ! Are you that Ring guy ?

John : My armor was kind of a clue, isn't it ?

Nightspinner : (Damn, damn, damn ! Skywarp told me about this guy ! He knows Jet-Judo !) *raises his weapons, shaking* O-okay ... Stand back or ... or I'll open fire !

John : *genuinely surprised* You're afraid of me ? *steps closer to the Seeker*

Nightspinner : *fires at the ground in front of Ringman* Stand back ! Not the Jet-Judo !

John : You mean ... this ? *does some kung-fu gestures*

Nightspinner : Aaaaack ! Nightspinner to Ground Control : Extraction ! Extraction !

(While Nightspinner was busy panicking, he didn't notice the skeletal robot in his back...)

Hunter : *slashes through the 'Con's neck with his claw* One down. I must admit psychological warfare is effective.

John : *shrugs* It kind of ... came to me.

Jet *coming from a building* : You have to admit, it all relied on whether or not he knew of Rebel's reputation.

John : Wait, what reputation ? I thought he was just scared of rings, or something.

Regulus : It's a long story. We'll have time for it later...

Flakmaster (perched on Dreadnought's shoulder) : Except later vill NOT happen ! Blast zem to oblivion, Dreadnought !

Dreadnought : Yeth, thur. *opens fire with his whole arsenal*

(As a logical reaction, the three Comrades fled, only to be followed by the trigger-happy behemoth.)

Regulus *watching from afar* : Incredible ! He shouldn't be able to walk with all this recoil.

Sean :That's some heavy artillery.

AM : We must stop it, then. You ready, Geoff.

Geoff : From Day one, Bossman. *runs and catches Jet* Time ta shine, Lightbulb. *throws Jet in the air*

Regulus : Hey, Monocle ! *activates her Flash Stopper*

Dreadnought : The light ... burnth my opticth ... *screams and gesticulates, blinded, causing Flakmaster to fall*

Jade *charging his Pharaoh Shot* A little duel, Tank-Bot ?

Flakmaster *locking his cannons on Jade* : I am no Autobot ! I am a Panzerkon !

Geoff *from behind* And now ye're one ugly mess. *punches Flakmaster in the back*

Flakmaster : How dare you ! *replies with his fist and misses Geoff by a foot*

Geoff : Guy knows nothing of melee. I used ta take lunch money from nerds like ya ! *continues the beating up*

Sean :It's fine and all, but what about the big guy ? And *suddenly worried* and Jet ?

Regulus *with Jet in his arms* : Unlike you, Geoff, some take care of their teammates.

Geoff : Eh, I've got a reputation ta defend.

AM *coming with John and Hunter* : And I believe the hole strategy does wonder on tank-bots.

Hunter : There's one left.

Treader *stopping a few metres away and transforms* : (Okay. One against eight. The others got beaten. Time to play wise.) *raises his arms* If I promise not to attack any of you, can I get back to my base with my teammates ?

Regulus : Not before we dispose of them first !

Geoff : Hush, Kermit. Them booze was fine. But we can beat up the remaining one a bit.

AM : No, Geoff. He asked a request, and knows that if he breaks his word, he'll get the beating of his life, right ?

Treader : *vigorously nods*

Jade : So, get away and don't come back soon.

(After a few teleportations back to their respective bases, and a flight from a lone Panzerkon...)

Cossack : Well, how much of the city did you destroy this time ?

Regulus : Geoff insisted on paying a tribute to his feat.

Geoff : Bridges are made ta be destroyed, isn't it ?

Sean :Not in times of peace.

Jay : What do we care about the town ? Did ya bring back more booze ?

Hunter *stepping away from the group* : I have several recordings of these new enemies. Would you wish to study them now ?

Regulus : Sure thing. Believe me, Hunter, AM made a mistake on letting this one get away.

Hunter : Isn't that compassion ?

Regulus : Maybe. We will see these Panzerkons again soon ...

(Not so sure. Back to the Nemesis.)

Megatron : I see you failed as well, Flakmaster.

Starscream : Serves you right, Earth-crawlers !

Stonegrinder : Not a word, Screamer, or I'll devastate your face !

Starscream : Such bold words from a war criminal ... If you attack me, you attack Megatron as well, for I am his second-in-command !

Gehenos : Then we'll just beat the red-and-white Seeker's face to slag !

Flakmaster : (Devastate ... Devastate ... of course !) Mein lord, I hafe a new plan !

Megatron : Really ? And what will make me tolerate your incompetence ?

Flakmaster : Actually ... *whsipers to Megatron* ... Interested ?

Megatron : *grinning broadly* Of course ! After all, it is natural to fail the first time.

Starscream : And what is the reason of this change of spark, my liege ?

Megatron : You will know soon enough, Starscream, for you will help them from now on.

Treader : Yeah. As a walking target ...

Panzerkons : *laugh*

Starscream : I ... don't like this laugh.



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