Cossack's Comrades

Cossack's Comrades Alpha Season 2 Epilogue 4
The Legacy Of Jay and Silent Bob: Omni 4

*The team now is startled by the appearance of Jay and Silent Bob who just blasted Omni!*

Pharaoh: Uh Jay and Silent Bob was it?

Jay: Yeah bitch, that's us.

Pharaoh: Right…but thanks for beating Omni for us.

Jay: Well that robot fucker had it coming. Ain't I right you tubby piece of shit?

Toad: Hey I am very sensitive about my weight!

Jay: Not you, you frog bitch. The fat slob next to you.

Silent Bob: *Waves his hand*

Skull: So explain to us, why are you here and where did you come from?

Jay: It’s a long story but here I go:

*Flashback Time*

*It is the Quick Stop back in Leonardo, Leonardo New Jersey. Jay and Bob are dealing in front of it*

Jay: Come on down! Grade A shit here.

Randal (Who just walked out): What did I tell you about the dealing, you stoner fucks. Now vamoose.

Jay: One day he'll get his... Hey look something is coming this way! Either I am trippin or that is a rocket! Duck, Lunchbox!


Jay: They totally destroyed it! Now where are we gonna deal?

Silent Bob: *Shrugs*

Jay: Its time to take some action against this mofo! Come on we need to see Brodie!

*So they go to Brodie’s comic book store*

Brodie: Damn, all that happened in 3 minutes? So what are you going to do?

Jay: Kill the fuckers who killed our home!

Brodie: … How do you plan to do that? For all you know it could be Bin Laden.

Jay: Hmm didn’t think of that.

Brodie: What about your girlfriend in prison? She had major technology at her disposal.

Jay: But she is in prison.

Brodie: But it wouldn’t hurt to try. Go seek happiness but first offer her a chocolate-covered pretzel.

*Guess where…*

Jay: And that's the story Justice. So you got anything to help us out?

Justice: Hmmm well the warden of this jail has the keys to my old gangs house where the technology is located so maybe if you ask him…

Jay: Thanks Bubukittyfuck! Lets go ask the man Lunchbox.

*So they go see the warden*

Jay: Justice said you had her keys. I'm her boyfriend and shit so I want in on her house.

Warden: Why should I give it to you?

Jay: Uhh…

Silent Bob: Let me. You see we happen to own some property in that living quarters so if you would be so kind as to hand over the so keys and let us be on our way.

Jay: Yeah…but did she move or something before she got busted?

Warden: Here is her address and her keys. Enjoy.

Jay: All right! Bong!

*Justice's Pad*

Jay: Okay so all we need to do is find this shit. But what the fuck does a tracking device look like?!

Silent Bob: *Shrugs*

Jay: Hey maybe its this thing with the label “Portable Tracking 2000”?

Silent Bob: *Nods*

Jay: Lets see where these fuckers are.

*He checks the screen while Bob punches in the location of any survivors of that explosion. *

Jay: Here are 8 guys. They are in Southern Jersey (Now would I say where I lived?) and still kicking! Lets go!

*Jay notices something else*

Jay: Woah! M80s! Awesome! Take em all Lunchbox, we may need ‘em.

*So they head to my house and see us*

Jay: Are these robot fucks the guys?

Drill: Okay now type before we actually leave Tenchi Universe, The present Comrades appear and have Washu repair us and give us weapons and the Transdimensional device. Then we go around to various worlds of anime and take as many weapons as we can then we come back to this spot and this time.

Jay: Damn these guys don't make much sense. Maybe they rocked the ganja! Think they got more?

Silent Bob: *Shrugs*

*Then the vortex leading back to the citadel appears and the 2 stoners are dragged in.*

Jay: Woah where are we?

Silent Bob: Well by my guess I say Russia.

Jay: What did you just say?

Silent Bob: *Shrugs*

Jay: Well look over there. It’s a Russian guy.

*And it is…Cossack and Kalinka*

Jay: Wazzup Commie?

Cossack: Are you talking to me? And keep it down will you; there is an evil robot over there.

Jay: Okay Red.

Kalinka: You can stop with the Russian puns.

Jay: Damn those robot fucks are here too! But we need to take revenge for the Quick Stop!

Cossack: Why would they destroy a store? It was probably that robot over there in that vortex.

Jay: You here that Bob? Lets kill him!

Cossack: Are you stoned?

Jay: Oh yeah. *Knocks Cossack out* Snootch to da' nootch gramps!

Kalinka: You knocked out my dad!

Jay: *Knocks her out too* God I love my life.

*End Flashback*

Jay: And we transported ourselves here. And that's the story.

BB: So Cossack is alive?

Jay: Yep.

Comrades: DAMN IT!

Ring: And how about Kalinka?

Jay: Yeah, the broad too.

Comrades: YAY!

Voice: I wouldn’t be cheering for long.

Comrades and Stoners: !!! OMNI?

Jay: But we blasted your ass!

Omni: A little fireworks couldn’t stop me. Now prepare yourselves for your last moments on Earth!

Drill: Prepare yourself team! Lets get ready to kick ass!

Narrator: With this the final battle is ready! Find out how this concludes next time on the Cossacks Comrades!

Cossack's Comrades

AM as
Drill Man
Sean as
Dust Man
Christoffer as
Dive Man
  Keba as
Bright Babe
Err as
Skull Man
Rebel40000 as
Ring Man
Sergal as
Pharaoh Man
Dennis as
Toad Man


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