Cossack's Comrades

Cossack's Comrades Alpha Season 2 Epilogue 17
Kalinka's Idea! Vacation Time!

(Plane ride scene inspired by my Zymeth's sprite comic. It's my favorite one of his :D)

Kalinka: Okay, Toad, what have we learned today?

Toad: *Puts hand to her chin thoughtfully* hmm... Look both ways before crossing the street?

Kalinka: No, that's what you learned last Friday...

Toad: Uh... Hold on, don't tell me. I've got this one. My instinct tells me it has something to do with my spontaneous destruction...

Kalinka: ...Uncanny...

(The kitchen is revealed to be a blackened mess, one whole wall destroyed. Toad is blackened from some unnamed catastrophe.)

Kalinka: I don't know where you got the impulse to MICROWAVE hand grenades, but the fact that you went through with it astounds me even more!

Toad: OOOHHHH! That! Yeah, about that, you know what they say, you can't learn from mistakes you don't make! *Grin*

Kalinka: Pointing out your blatant lack of logic would be a waste of time, wouldn't it?

Toad: Probably.

Kalinka: *Slaps forehead* What I want to know is how all of the Comrades are insane!

Toad: What are you talking about? *Grabs Drill from off-screen* He's fairly sane!

Kalinka: ...

Toad: ... Well, you know, sane for someone with power tools installed on his person...

Drill: Toad, is it possible for me to go watch T.V.?

Toad: Not yet.

Kalinka: We need to do something about you guy's rampant destruction of the citadel.

Ring: *Popping out of nowhere* What are you talking about?

Kalinka: Where to start? Pharaoh and you never fail to start a fire somewhere in the house every twelve hours! I could set my watch to it! Zapper's random bursts of destructive behavior, not to mention BB's destructive behavior! (BB chasing the mailman outside) Dust's random inventions going haywire, as well as Drill's. I think Dive is the only one not responsible for the destruction!

Drill: You forgot that one time when Toad and Dive tried to use me to drill a hole in the space-time continuum.

Toad: Hey! I remember that! That was fun!

Drill: *Looks at the Morningstar in Toad's other hand*

Toad: ... *Hides it behind her back.*

Kalinka: I know, how about this, why don't you all take a vacation or something? I know I'd love the break from the Earth-shattering explosions and being able to walk around and not see a gaping hole in the wall.

Skull: *Packed and wearing sunglasses and a tropical shirt* Sounds good to me!

Dive: *Playing video games* Yeah, yeah, sure. Whatever...

Bright: Can I drive?

Kalinka: Okay, then everyone's happy. My cheapskate of a father, who, thankfully, is currently unconscious, will probably get pretty upset, but I'll book you all a flight.

Dust: To where?

Skull: Hawaii!

Ring: England!

Pharaoh: Egypt.

Toad: The moon! ... What?

Kalinka: How about Hawaii? That's fairly easy, right?

Comrades: *Gone*

Kalinka: ...They'll realize that they don't have their tickets yet... I'll get the money from Dad... *loads rifle*

(After two trips to the airport they finally board the plane.)

Drill: (Crossly) I can't believe we have to change flights at L.A. That doesn't even make any sense!

Bright: (Inside the overhead storage bin) At least we get to ride another cool plane!

Ring: (Face stuck to the window) I like flying!

Toad: (Sitting upside down) The eight cans of soda I drank aren't sitting too well...

Dust: (Sitting next to Toad) ... Oh no...

(At the L.A. airport)

Drill: Okay, so, if w- *looks around to see that only Dive and BB are standing there* Where are the other's?

Dive: They got caught up in a random search.

(Elsewhere, an officer adds a belt of grenades to the pile of high grade weaponry)

Toad: ... Okay, I admit that I may have a few potentially dangerous items, but can I get on the plane anyway?

Ring: You didn't have Ring Blades on that "not allowed" display case!

Dust: *Metal detector beeping* Oh yeah, use a metal detector. I'm so glad that YOU'RE here to protect the innocent.

Skull: Am I going to get my luggage back?

Pharaoh: You can go ahead and search me, but I'll guarantee that you'll not find my weapons.

Drill: ... I, just... can't win, can I?

Bright: *Eying taco stand* Must... resist... impulse...

(Three hours later on the plane)

Dive: This is the WORST plane trip I've ever been on.

Skull: What makes it so bad?

Dive: where to start? Until we hit Denver I was trapped between two unrealistically fat people, the kid behind me keeps throwing up, *kid vomits* there's an ominous green mist emanating from the bathroom, Toad keeps playing with every button and lever available, our pilots are incompetent morons, we left Ring and Dust back at the random search station, and you can't hear a word the stewardess is saying!

Stewardess: *Talking way too fast*

Dive: Excuse me?

Stewardess: *Talking way too fast*

Dive: I'd like some roasted peanuts.

Stewardess: *Talking way too fast*

Dive: I don't understand you!

Stewardess: *Talking way too fast*

Dive: Give me the roasted peanuts!

Stewardess: *Screaming and running away*

Dive: *catches a bag of peanuts* ... Hey, roasted peanuts!

Drill: Oh, well, we need to get the pilots to pick up Ring and Dust.

Toad: (Playing with the buttons) I'll do it!

Skull: I think Drill means someone more... competent.

Bright: Like me?

Drill: ... Skull, you do it.

Skull: Right, I'm obviously the best choice for the task! No one can match the power of my spiffy Hawaiian duds!

Pharaoh: You know what, I'll do it. (Fifteen minutes later, the six comrades are trudging to the airport, everyone either beat up or on fire, or both... except Skull.)

Skull: HA! You doubted the power of my spiffy Hawaiian duds that protected me from the crash!

Drill: Yeah, Pharaoh, nice job.

Pharaoh: Hey, I was doing fine until Toad freaked the guy out.

Toad: WEEE! Let's do that again really soon! That was the COOLEST thing that's ever happened on an airplane!

Drill: And Dive panicking and leaping out of the plane didn't help. At least no one died.

Bright: I think Dive cushioned the crash when we landed on him.

Dive: *Comatose*

Drill: Let's pick up the other two and go home.

Skull: But I got out my cool Hawaiian du-

Pharaoh: If I hear about your shirt one more time you're joining Dive in a comatose state!

Skull: I don't know, I'd rather join Toad in her psychotic one.

Drill: ... Wait, why?

Skull: Look how happy she is! She just had to twist herself out of a plane wreck!

Toad: *Cheerfully* I'm told I need help.


Dust: Okay, by this time Pharaoh would undoubtedly be forced to turn the plane around after Drill rules out everyone else. Now we just have to wait.

Ring: Awww... We just waited! Waiting time's over!

Dust: It should be here any minute, calm down.

(A flaming mass of twisted wreckage that may have been a plane before it crashed and slid down the hill after everyone had vacated.)

Dust: ... Want to go to IHOP?

Ring: Only if we can order waffles.


Cossack's Comrades

AM as
Drill Man
Sean as
Dust Man
Geoff as
Dive Man
  Keba as
Bright Babe
Err as
Skull Man
Rebel40000 as
Ring Man
Sergal as
Pharaoh Man
Zapper as
Toad Girl


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