Cossack's Comrades

Cossack's Comrades Alpha Season 4 Epilogue 4

Narrator: It’s a beautiful day at the new Citadel. The team sits down to a nice meal.

Jay: Not us just yet. We are waiting.

Dust: Dare I even ask what for?

Jay: Dude, today is 420!

Toad: What? What is 420?

Bright: Oh! Today is April 20th!

Toad: Oh. YAY! Wait…what’s so special about today?

Dive: Kid, yeh need tah get out more.

Drill: 420 is when stoners from all around the world just get really high, especially at 4:20 P.M.

Jay: Hells yeah bitch! Now who’s in on this?

*No hands are raised*

Jay: Not even you Dr. C? Wait…where is Dr. C?

Kalinka: I happened to know what today was so I sent Daddy away to a safe place for the day.

*Arkham Asylum*

Cossack: I’m not crazy!!!! I just want some nugs!

Joker: Oh new comer if you don’t SHUT UP I’ll make you Joker’s bitch! And you do not want that.

Harley: I do!

Joker: Not now Poo!

Narrator: Back at the Citadel a knock is heard at the door.

Drill: I wonder who that could be.

*Opens the door*

Man: Hello. I’m Claude Pertwee and this is my cat Beverly. We’re you’re new neighbors.

Pharaoh: …neighbors? Since when did we have neighbors?

Drill: *Coughs*

Pharaoh: Oh.

Pertwee: Well I just hope you fine fellows are better neighbors then those SAVAGES I had for my last set.

Kalinka: Who were they?

Pertwee: Oh those icky Hudddles! And the McCoys who lived right next door! The girls are all right Marge and Penny, but the Fellas! They play football you know. Savages, that’s what they are SAVAGES!!!! Well toodles I have to start my new garden.

Dust: But this is RUSSIA! You can’t have a garden!

Pertwee: Well Russia has never heard of Claude Pertwee! Come Beverly, lets raise Daddy’s babies.

Beverly: *Hiss*

*He leaves*

Dive: *Laughs hard* Oh. My. God! Did anybody else just see what I just saw? “Savages!” *Laughs into his drink*

Kalinka: Now now Dive, don’t be rude. He is our new neighbor.

Dive: But he’s a fa…

Kalinka: Dive! Don’t be intolerant!

Ring: So wait, we can curse, smoke weed, get drunk, hire strippers, yet we cannot make fun of other people? Does anyone else see how flawed that is?

Narrator: Meanwhile in the small town of Springfield (Not that Springfield)…

Cobra Commander: GAH!!! Insolent fools, why must I put up with such failures?!

Destro: Cobra Commander, you are hardly one to talk! We would have been in possession of the Serpent Stone if you didn’t call for a retreat!

Cobra Commander: LIES!!!!

Tomax: That last stunt…

Xamot: Cost us dearly.

Tomax and Xamot: You owe us more money.

Cobra Commander: Shut up you Crimson balls of filth! What we need is a small robbery…

Destro: Ha! The great Cobra Commander stooping to a new low!

Cobra Commander: I got it! Bring me Zartan!

Zartan: I am already here Cobra Commander. What do you want?

Cobra Commander: Go to Russia and rob the big Russian citadel! I heard that those clods are the only “Megaman Team” with money!

Zartan: Very well, but I get 50%.

Cobra Commander: Make it 40% and you got it.

Narrator: While the sinister plot was being planned, the Comrades deal with their neighbor.

Pertwee: Ms. Cossack, I have a small problem with a few of your friends.

Kalinka: Oh?

Pertwee: The big Blue one has been shooting nasty torpedoes at my little Beverly, and I caught those two stoners planting these pot seeds into my garden!

Kalinka: I am so sorry for them…but you just can’t stop them.

Pertwee: Well do try now.

Jay: Yo does anybody have the time?

Pertwee: What’s the matter Savage, can’t you read a clock?

Pertwee: Wow…you really can’t tell time. Well it’s 4:10 PM.

Jay: Holy shit! I gotta get ready!

Pharaoh: So, back again Mr. Pertwee. How do you enjoy Russia?

Pertwee: Well it is a tad nippy. I didn’t realize it would be so cold.

Pharaoh: …and you make fun of Jay.


Kalinka: I’ll get it. Hello?

“Dr. Light”: Hello. I am here to pick up some money from my old friend Dr. Coosack. Is he around?

Kalinka: Dr. Light, what are you trying to pull? We don’t have any money yet.

“Dr. Light”:…what?

Jay: Speak for yourself bitch, I am loaded!

Pharaoh: But you don’t share that often anyway so why bother?

Jay: Well I’m off. It’s time for 420. Anyone want in?

“Dr. Light”: I will…er…join you.

Kalinka: Dr. Light!

Jay: Lay off him! He’s a man! Let’s go, Bob and Bossman are waiting.

Kalinka: The nerve of those…BOSSMAN?!?!

Pertwee: Well I best leave you alone with your Savage pals.

Narrator: In Jay’s Room...

Drill: You know Jay, I don’t see why I’m here. I don’t do this…

Jay: You gave us your room back in the old citadel! Me and tubby repay you big! Eh Dr. Light?

“Dr. Light”: Er yes. Tell me Jay can I see your money?

Jay: Sure hommie. Let’s just pass around Justice That’s the name of my piece.

Drill: You know what, you only live once! Fine, why not! Let’s get it over with.

*Five mins Later*

Jay: Dude, I feel so chill right now.

Drill: *Bursts into a fit of laughter*

Dive: Tis da life!

Jay: But you didn’t smoke!

Dive: But I’m hammered!

Jay: Fuck yeah!

“Dr. Light:: Well Jay, the money?

Jay: Oh, here it is!

*Hands him money*

“Dr. Light”: …these are Chuckie Cheese dollars.

Jay: Yeah bro.

Drill: That gives us free food.

Dive: Let’s go there right now and get some! I’ll call ta rest of the bozos!

“Dr Light”: You don’t have any money at all?

Drill: Nope. We are broke.

“Dr Light”: I hate Cobra Commander. I am leaving and robbing that Fa…

Kalinka: NO!

*He leaves*

Ring: So did we do anything today?

Drill: *Laughs*

Ring: I’ll take that as a no.

Pertwee: Help! I’ve been robbed! Some man in a hood took my purse with my money in it! Savages!

Narrator: Back at Springfield…

Cobra Commander: Well Zartan?

Zartan: Here is your share.

Cobra Commander: $50 bucks!?! What is this?

Zartan: You idiot, there was no money. I robbed a gay man instead.

Destro: Ha! You fail once again!

Cobra Commander: GAH!!!!!

Cossack's Comrades

AM as
Drill Man
Sean as
Dust Man
Geoff as
Dive Man
  Jet as
Bright Babe
Nobody as
Skull Man
Rebel40000 as
Ring Man
Jade as
Pharaoh Man
Zapper as
Toad Girl


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