|Megaman as our God|
To: All Sentient Beings
There are many Megaman-related petitions out there. Some to translate the manga in English, some to re-release the old games with new graphics. There are petitions to bring back the old TV show; there are petitions to bring over the new (EXE) TV show. There are even petitions to take MM seriously. But with all these petitions, one has gone overlooked.
Praising Megaman as you god.
We all have played the games, but have you truly UNDERSTOOD them? Sure we know Megaman fights for everlasting peace ? the everlasting peace of your SOUL. He fights against the Yellow Devil and other monsters. Do not be fooled by deceivers! They will send their eight robot masters to take over eight worlds, but I say to thee now that Megaman will not only beat them, he will take their powers and use their evil against them! No matter how many times the devil forces of Wily take over eight worlds, Megaman shall be there to destroy them, take their powers, and use it against them time and time again! Except when he plays soccer. Confusing, as it is why our savior should choose to play soccer it shows He can be many places at ONCE! Behold the power!
Devote your lives to collecting all things Megaman! Pay the extra import fee to claim the gospel known as Megaman manga! Watch the television shows and follow His example! Do not have a ?bad attitude? as our lord and savior says but be ?Mega? good! Collect all his many, many sprites in all frames of animation! Be it the highest ally or the lowliest minor enemy, they should all be collected for His glory!
Adopt your new name! Be it with an adjective followed by the word ?man? or an adjective followed by a particular animal, or even a humorous variation of a guns and roses name, I say to thee thou must change they name to reflect your allegiance to the Mega one!
I say to you now be wary of spikes! For the slightest touch can kill you in an instant! Remember to seek out shrunken heads to give you more lives, so you may return after death to do battle.
He calls you to build vast monuments devoted to Him in cyberspace! And when your lives run out and you die leaving naught but flashing yellow balls of light to fly across the screen of the world, you shall be transported to His kingdom of Monsteropolis, if thee be worthy. If thee have not collected all the RUSH letters or have failed in some way, thee shall be cast into the evil Skull Castle where you shall suffer unending torment.
Remember to write down the passwords of life! Never lose them or thee shall be doomed to repeat your progress over and over again! Remember that most of the challenges that you face in life have set and specific patters that can be easily analyzed and beaten if you know that they are there! Be wary of blocks for they often disappear. Do not rely too much on your special items! Though they may make things easier, I say to thee now they rapidly deplete in energy and may cast tee down into the dreaded spikes or a bottomless pit!
Praise Him! And give glory to the little boy in titanium panties! Sign the petition and acknowledge Megaman as thy one true God!
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I'm adding this because many people simply don't get it. Perhaps I shoulda figured that earlier. This is a JOKE. It's premise is absurd. No one is REALLY asking you to worship Megaman. Obviously. It's also not making fun of God in any way, shape or form. I wouldn't do that because I believe in God. The only thing it makes fun of is Frivolous Megaman petitions (ie: they're so stupid, why not just ask for something totally ridiculous like making Megaman God). That and, I suppose idol worship (people who like MM a little TOO much, myself included). It doesn't make fun of God, it doesn't make fun of your belief in God (which I share), it doesn't make fun of religion. It makes fun of Megaman petitions and people who like Megaman too much (ie: worship him as a god). That is all.
The Megaman as our God Petition to All Sentient Beings was created by members of the Mechanical Maniacs and written by Gauntlet. This petition is hosted here at www.PetitionOnline.com as a public service. There is no express or implied endorsement of this petition by Artifice, Inc. or our sponsors. The petition scripts are created by Mike Wheeler at Artifice, Inc. For Technical Support please use our simple Petition Help form.
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