home
 

Index
Bios
Fiction
Humor
Art
Sprites
Capcom vs. SNK cards
Downloads
The Walkthrough
Virus Gallery
Classic to EXE Checklist
BN5 Modification Cards
MM Name Origins
Secret Page?
Links
Which Navi Would You Be?

Viral Infection In:
Abnoxious Jokes

By Iceman 005

WARNING!!

The Following Program contains scenes which may offend some viewers...others may experience mild discomfort, nagging backache, post-nasal drip, and delirum. Followed by rapid Heartbeat , Swelling of the Nose, throat and abbomen and loss of facial hair.

Repeated reading of these skits may result in the loss of ones's bodily functions, redistibution of facial features , premature baldness, and a diffiuclty in forming simple...*struggling* sssss..sentances. So, if you're seriously considering a rewarding, challenging career as a lawn ornament...

THIS IS THE SHOW FOR YOU!!

(Count Down starts)

5!!

4!!

3!!

2!!

1!!

More exciting than your mom's latest casserole!

More fun than a cup full of cottege cheese!

Viral Infection presents!! ABNOXIOUS JOKES!!

Starring a crew that'll haunt your dreams for the rest of your life...

Gauntlet! *comes in and falls on his ass* ICEMAN!!

(fan-fare starts)

Magicman EXE! *performs a magic act*

Skullman EXE! *juggles several bones..then one clonks him on the head*

Sharkman EXE! *comes out from the shadows, then half the audience runs away in fright* Uhhh..oops.

Bombman EXE! Yeah! That's me!

Elecman EXE! *somes strattling in then a pie hits his face* CLOUREDMAN!

(fan-fare contunies)

Stoneman EXE! That's Mr. Stoneman to you bub.

Gutsman EXE! *is shown fast asleep in his bed*

Forte EXE! *sign that says out to lunch*

Woodman EXE! *does a solo drum act on stage, then gets veggies thrown at him*

Numberman EXE! *starts doing calculations on his fingers* I Only have three!? Son of a...

Fireman EXE! Man...just how many members are there...

(Fan Fare starts to lose it's battery charge and gets disoriented)

Narrator: *starts losing his breath*

Protoman EXE! *puts his hands in front of the camera* No comment! Get that camera off me!

Pharaohman EXE! *shows an ancient coffin and that's it* *crickets start chirping*

(Fan Fare is about to end...thank god)

Coloredman EXE! *starts riding around on a unicylce juggling pies and holding a chair on his nose*

And

Iceman EXE!! *trips Coloredman and all his props fall over*

Coloredman EXE: HEY!!

*We enter the Camera Studio after the intro ends*

Bombman EXE: *turns around in his chair* Ugggg...I've never seen anything so revolting in my entire life. Kinda reminds me of the time at the hosptial...

*horror music starts and ends*

*-----Skit #1 (The Hospital Scene)--------*

Speaker Phone: Dr. Iceman to the Surgery Room... Dr. Iceman To the Surgery Room.

Ice: Whoooahhh...eck. Look at that mess. I've never seen anything that gross in my line of pratice.

Bomb: Yeah I know Doctor...it looks like...a...a plate of....ewwwwww....Spaghetti.

Ice: Here, you eat it. *shoves it to him*...I'm needed in surgery. *hauls ass*

Bomb: YOU'RE GOING TO BE NEEDING SURGERY!! *throws the plate at Iceman*

(In the lab room)

Coloured: *looking through the door* Quick! Put it back, he's coming!

Skullman EXE, and Sharkman EXE: *quickly put a brain back into a Navi's head*

Coloured: *sighs a relief*

Ice: *enters the room with the plate of spaghetti on his head* How's my patient Blizzardman EXE?

Shark: Hmmm...donno Doctor...he's out cold

Ice: *groans* I thought I was the one doing the wise cracks around here.

Skull: Hey doctor, real nice toupee you got there.

Shark: What is it? Spaghetti?

Coloured: Yup...it's spaghetti alright. *takes it off and eats it*

Ice: *whams Colouredman over the head with a mallet*

Bomb: Doctor...the invisible man is waiting for you in the waiting room.

Ice: That's a great place to wait. Tell him I can't see him right now.

Coloured: Hey Sharkman...that's a good one. Invisible Man...can't see him...

Shark: Yeah...that doc. He's a real cut up. *shows Ice using a chain saw on a patient*

Coloured: Yeah...he always leaves me in stiches.

Skull: Doctor...I think that patient is going to croak.

Ice: What's the matter? Does he have a frog in his throat?

(Toadman EXE ribbits and jumps out)

Coloured: He kills me. *laughs*

Shark: Yeah...he kills half his patients too. *laugh*

Coloured: You know Shark...I had a funny doctor like that once...but I had to stop going.

Shark: Why's that Color?

Coloured: He cost me an arm and a leg!

Shark: Well...you got the leg part right. *looks at the big ball under Color*

Ice: AAAAHHH!! *throws his tools aside* I think I found the problem. There's this ugly, pink glob growing inside his head.

Skull: Ummm...doctor..how long can a man live without a brain?

Ice: I donno Skull Face...how old are you?

(Everyone yells as Gauntlet comes on and pushes the scene out the window)

Gauntlet: Well...there's nothing more rotten than lame jokes...now how about something with more grace...and beauty...well. You'd have to stay tuned tell the next skit comes on.

Coming Soon: Skit 2 (Gauntlet's Corner)

to be continued

back to the Humour page