Viral Infection In:
By Iceman 005
The Following Program contains scenes which may offend some viewers...others may experience
mild discomfort, nagging backache, post-nasal drip, and delirum. Followed by rapid Heartbeat
, Swelling of the Nose, throat and abbomen and loss of facial hair.
Repeated reading of these skits may result in the loss of ones's bodily functions, redistibution of facial features
, premature baldness, and a diffiuclty in forming simple...*struggling* sssss..sentances.
So, if you're seriously considering a rewarding, challenging career as a lawn ornament...
THIS IS THE SHOW FOR YOU!!
(Count Down starts)
More exciting than your mom's latest casserole!
More fun than a cup full of cottege cheese!
Viral Infection presents!! ABNOXIOUS JOKES!!
Starring a crew that'll haunt your dreams for the rest of your life...
Gauntlet! *comes in and falls on his ass* ICEMAN!!
Magicman EXE! *performs a magic act*
Skullman EXE! *juggles several bones..then one clonks him on the head*
Sharkman EXE! *comes out from the shadows, then half the audience runs away in fright* Uhhh..oops.
Bombman EXE! Yeah! That's me!
Elecman EXE! *somes strattling in then a pie hits his face* CLOUREDMAN!
Stoneman EXE! That's Mr. Stoneman to you bub.
Gutsman EXE! *is shown fast asleep in his bed*
Forte EXE! *sign that says out to lunch*
Woodman EXE! *does a solo drum act on stage, then gets veggies thrown at him*
Numberman EXE! *starts doing calculations on his fingers* I Only have three!? Son of a...
Fireman EXE! Man...just how many members are there...
(Fan Fare starts to lose it's battery charge and gets disoriented)
Narrator: *starts losing his breath*
Protoman EXE! *puts his hands in front of the camera* No comment! Get that camera off me!
Pharaohman EXE! *shows an ancient coffin and that's it* *crickets start chirping*
(Fan Fare is about to end...thank god)
Coloredman EXE! *starts riding around on a unicylce juggling pies and holding a chair on his nose*
Iceman EXE!! *trips Coloredman and all his props fall over*
Coloredman EXE: HEY!!
*We enter the Camera Studio after the intro ends*
Bombman EXE: *turns around in his chair* Ugggg...I've never seen anything so revolting in my entire life.
Kinda reminds me of the time at the hosptial...
*horror music starts and ends*
*-----Skit #1 (The Hospital Scene)--------*
Speaker Phone: Dr. Iceman to the Surgery Room... Dr. Iceman To the Surgery Room.
Ice: Whoooahhh...eck. Look at that mess. I've never seen anything that gross in my line of pratice.
Bomb: Yeah I know Doctor...it looks like...a...a plate of....ewwwwww....Spaghetti.
Ice: Here, you eat it. *shoves it to him*...I'm needed in surgery. *hauls ass*
Bomb: YOU'RE GOING TO BE NEEDING SURGERY!! *throws the plate at Iceman*
(In the lab room)
Coloured: *looking through the door* Quick! Put it back, he's coming!
Skullman EXE, and Sharkman EXE: *quickly put a brain back into a Navi's head*
Coloured: *sighs a relief*
Ice: *enters the room with the plate of spaghetti on his head* How's my patient Blizzardman EXE?
Shark: Hmmm...donno Doctor...he's out cold
Ice: *groans* I thought I was the one doing the wise cracks around here.
Skull: Hey doctor, real nice toupee you got there.
Shark: What is it? Spaghetti?
Coloured: Yup...it's spaghetti alright. *takes it off and eats it*
Ice: *whams Colouredman over the head with a mallet*
Bomb: Doctor...the invisible man is waiting for you in the waiting room.
Ice: That's a great place to wait. Tell him I can't see him right now.
Coloured: Hey Sharkman...that's a good one. Invisible Man...can't see him...
Shark: Yeah...that doc. He's a real cut up. *shows Ice using a chain saw on a patient*
Coloured: Yeah...he always leaves me in stiches.
Skull: Doctor...I think that patient is going to croak.
Ice: What's the matter? Does he have a frog in his throat?
(Toadman EXE ribbits and jumps out)
Coloured: He kills me. *laughs*
Shark: Yeah...he kills half his patients too. *laugh*
Coloured: You know Shark...I had a funny doctor like that once...but I had to stop going.
Shark: Why's that Color?
Coloured: He cost me an arm and a leg!
Shark: Well...you got the leg part right. *looks at the big ball under Color*
Ice: AAAAHHH!! *throws his tools aside* I think I found the problem. There's this ugly, pink glob
growing inside his head.
Skull: Ummm...doctor..how long can a man live without a brain?
Ice: I donno Skull Face...how old are you?
(Everyone yells as Gauntlet comes on and pushes the scene out the window)
Gauntlet: Well...there's nothing more rotten than lame jokes...now how about something with more
grace...and beauty...well. You'd have to stay tuned tell the next skit comes on.
Coming Soon: Skit 2 (Gauntlet's Corner)
to be continued
back to the Humour page