Around the holidays... some of the former VI members decided to reunite and have a christmas party for old times sake.
: Ok... I think all the invites are set. Who'd you invite, Gary?
: Oh, the usual. Ben, Classi, about half the MMcommunity.
: Where's the Tree? I thought we sent woodman out to get that awhile ago. and Why am I in charge of planning?
: Now THAT is a secret!
: I hate you, you know that?
: I try. Phil said you had the best head for planning among us here, and besides, he's making us some more money.
: Haha, Phil, work? I didn't know you were THAT good at making jokes.
and : What's this now, Gaunt's stepping on our territory?
: I'm serious! He's off on the net as MagicMan sitting in the local mall as Santa.
: Well, he surely has the beard for it.
*meanwhile at the mall on the web*
: and just what do YOU want for Christmas, little girl.
: Santa, why are your arms shaped like orbs? Are you really santa?
: ohohoho, that's a secret, my dear.
: *cries* You're not the real santa, aren't you?
: Oh, I'm only kidding hohohoho! Here, have a candy cane *uses magic and santa hat falls off*... oh, crap I blew my cover
: I KNEW IT! YOU'RE NOT SAANTAAA YOU'RE NOT SAAANTAAAA!
:. Keep it down! Keep it down! AAGH NOT THE BEARD! HEre-AAGH a couple of buck-AAGH, keep this between you and me, alright? I don't want.. them finding out about this. and would you QUIT PULLING ON MY BEARD! IT'S REAL!
: Ok Not Santa I love you buhbye!
:...Well, that end's my shift... time to go home...I hope this doesn't get deducted from my paycheck.
*back at the VI base*
: You know, Ed-my-boy, these christmas balls are quite heavy.. what did you put in them?
: ROCKING AROUND! ZEEE CHRIZMAAZ TREE! LAAALAALAALAAALALA
: Wait, wait wait, I didn't hear you. Some unnamed mad professor with an accent I DESPISE has to sing.
: Well I'm zorry, pyramid boy. I wanted to zpread zee cheer!
: go back to your crazy experiemnts, or you shall face Anubis's wrath!
: Now where were we exactly?
: I was telling you these ornaments were filled with gunpowder.
: Oh how nice...gunpow- SWEET MOTHER OF HORUS! I know you like bombs.... but... WHY? as soon as firegirl sneezes this house we'll be blown to Ra!
: I know! I wanted to celebrate the holidays with a bang this year.
: and she has a cold this time of year. You KNOW as soon as she sneezes, we're toast, right?
: Knowing the nature of these epliogues, she won't sneeze until the very end, and the base shall explode into a thing of fireworks while we all laugh.
: Ho ho ho. What a laugh it will be.
*back at the mall*
: BOOYEAH. Double A'd that song.
: Congratulations, Mr.DeStefano. I'm glad your holiday spirit hasn't been dampened by your error.
:...Oh crap, not to mention that this is going to turn into a bloody Matrix parody, but you've already found out about what happened!
: Oh, we didn't find out, Mr.DeStefano... we knew. We already knew.
: So I guess you're going to take me in now, right?
: Of course. We will kill you.
: We? I only see you.
: You seem to have forgotten, that this is a Matrix parody Mr.DeStefano, and I'm the Smith. You're Neo.
: Thank you, AgentObvious.
: Shall we get on with the obligatory fight?
: No. I'm going to run like hell to the nearest phone and yell, I NEED AN EXIT.
: Hahah. that won't work.
: Watch me try. OH LOOK OVER THERE MRS.CLAUS IS STRIPPING.
: *makes a break for it to the nearest payphone and calls VI's headquarters*
: I NEED AN EXIT!
: oh great, is this a matrix parody epilogue?
:...where were you the last 10 pages? but still, jack me out of here!
: I'm not going there. and you can jack yourself out.
: Great, I'm in a ditch and your mind is in the gutter. But yeah, I forgot I can plug out myself. Thanks a bunch.
: PLUG OUT! Woosh!
:...hey wait... that's nasty..and THAT BASTARD TRICKED US! GEt...him. Damn, he's gone. Oh well, we shall not let anyone live until we find him!... what's this? *picks up a slip of paper on the ground*
*back at the vi base*
: Guys, you won't believe this... but I lost my paycheck...
: HOW? I swear, we never should have let YOU do it. Do tell us how you lost the money we were going to use to help fix this place up before the holidays...
: It's a long story... you sure you want to hear it/
All: Do tell.
*a few minutes later*
: So let me get this straight. You were doing your job, and your santa hat fell off, revealing that you were not indeed santa.
: And you decided to play some DDR, only to be congratulated by a holiday version of Agent smith.
: And you ran from zee agents, only to call up ryan, who's mind was in zee gutter?
: I think you know what's coming to you now.
:... you want me to help you with the shadow blade chucking? Or should I let you do it?
: can I join in too?
: Be my guest, comrades. you may fire when ready.
*the three begin chucking shadow blades at Phil, and the door knocks*
: GUTS ANGRY! GUTS SMASH! GUTS GET THE DOOR! *breaks door*
:...Why do I get the feeling that this is going to be full of cliches?
: from teh way I got the door?
: That's probably why.
: Hey Be-ow! and I see Clas-ow, is OW! with OW!
: haha, what happened this time?
: he lost the paycheck. Don't believe any stories he tells you, I bet they're all fake.
: I doubt Phil would lie, hun.
: Well his story is the most fabricated load of-*ring* hold on, I'll get the phone. Hello? Yeah, I'll get him PHIL! Phone's for you.
: Greetings, Mr. DeStefano. I believe we have something important to you and your friends.
: You better not have taken Classi, otherwise I'm going to punch the author for making such a cliche epilogue.
:...I'm right here. *waves*
: Oh...well then, what do you have
: I'll put him on for you... he's an old friend. Mr...check?
(changing his pitch): Helloo? Help me! help me! Save me! Spend me!
: YOU BASTARD! GIVE ME THE CHECK BACK NOW!
: You want it? Turn yourself in, and we'll give it to your friends... if not... he's going to have hot monkey love with ms. shredder... and I'm not talking about the dude from Turtles. Come to the mall... if you dare. MUAHAHAHA! *click*
: Proof enough?
: I hate it when you're right. Everyone, To the VI Van! We're going to... the mall!
: Can we come?
: Oh why not.
and : YAY!
: WAIT! We need weapons... you didn't think I'd let a matrix parody go without a large amount of weapons now, did you?
: YAY! WEAPONS!
: Alright! PLUG-IN! VI VAN, TRNASMISSONZ0r!
*a while later*
: damn, this trench coat looks good on old Magic.
: Same with Skully.
: Makes you look like Agent Skully! hahaha.
: You just had to say it.. didn't you? No bones about it...you're going to pay when we get back.
: I think I'm going to PUNish both of you if you don't shut up.
: *chucks several thousand shadowblades at them all* Let's get the paycheck and go.
: You're late, Mr. DeStefano.
: The jig is up! Hand us the paycheck, or hand us your life!
: That is so lame.
: Just like the rest of this epilogue
: LETS BEGIN ALL THE STUNT-A-RIFFIC Action!
: Stunt double time!
*for the length of the battle, the VI Team and the AgentSanta team will be played by several Asian gymnasts on strings*
*matrix like battle ensues, and everyone is back to normal, this is probably because the author is too lazy to describe the battle.*
: *punches AgentSanta in the face*
: Ow. Could you hand me my cheek please.... I think it's like...way up there on the celiling.
: Cheap special effects... *grumbles and climbs on rafters* Here ya go! *throws it down*
: Ah! Thank you! Continue battling
*battle continues, with the obvious winners being VI*
: wow, and I didn't die. HAHA I JUST SPOILED MATRIX REVOLUTIONS FOR YOU ALL.
: So we got the paycheck and we won. Hoo-rah.
: I've had enough action. Let's get back home. The cube is calling my name.
: By Thoth's judgement, thy shall go down in DDR, Phil! The gods are with me tonight!
: That's what you said about Melee, and I owned you. Much like how I'm going to own Phil at Melee.
: Bring it on. But we should trash talk when we're actually home.
: You're right. LEt's go.
*back at home*
: Ooh.. *sniff* melee... you're all going dow-AAh...Aah
: Here we go...
*base explodes, as well as the uncashed paycheck*
: according to my calcuations, Ed is of zee zucking!
: Just who let Ed in control of the decorations.
: Phil did!
:...Phil....you know what the holidays are about... right?
: Giving and spending quality time with friends and family?
: Correct! and since I'm in such a giving mood, I'm going to be over generous with your gift! 1000 shadow blades, AIMED DIRECTLY FOR YOUR HEAD!
: EEEEEEE! help meee
All but Phil: *hearty, end of epilogue laugh*