NEW Sinister Six in:
New Team Awakens
Written by Gauntlet
It's the Morning. The sun shines on the headquarters of the Mechanical Maniacs - the Ark. The ninja robot Shadowman gets out of bed at the early time of 10AM and grumpily walks to the newspaper.
Shadowman scowls in anger.
Needlegal: Gauntlet? What's wrong?
Shadowman: What the Hell is this?
(Shadowman angrily throws the newspaper on the table).
Needlegal: The ... New Sinister Six saves the day!? Didn't they disband? And whose that there? It can't be Gary! He died!
Shadowman: I dunno, but they have some freakin' nerve to pull this sorta crap. I'm gonna go over there and give them a piece of my mind!
(And so Shadowman goes over to S6 base and knocks at the door.)
Shadowman: I'm here to give you a piece of my mind!
Shadowman: Just who the Hell do you think you are, buddy? Not Tim!
Gutsman: No, I'm not Tim.
Shadowman: Well, then who are you?! Spit it out, faker.
Gutsman: (Gutsman's voice is as quiet and calm as the wind) I am Erik, the one you knew as Windman.
Gutsman: You know, Windman?
Gutsman: Noble Chinese warrior born with the skills of a martial artist? Calm and furious as the wind?
Gutsman: I died fighting with everyone against Red? Had a glorious death defending my friends against the army of Neos?
Shadowman: Can't say that rings a bell.
Shadowman: And if you're Windman, why the Hell are you Gutsman now? And why the Hell aren't you dead? And where do you get off calling yourselves the Sinister Six!? You're even using their old base! You're no better than those PC losers!
Erik: Why you .... I may be calm as the wind, but I'll gladly knock you're goddamn block off!
Shadowman: Not now. I got answers to find!
(Shadowman disappears in a puff of smoke to interview more of this new ... "Sinister Six".)
Erik: I'll kill that damn bastard.
(In the TV room Bombman chuckles at a TV show when the television suddenly turns off)
Bombman: What the Hell!?
Shadowman: That's my line.
Bombman: Wha - SHADOWMAN!?
Bombman: Of the Mechanical Maniacs!?
Shadowman: *beaming with a bit of pride* That's right.
Bombman: Wow. Now I can die happy.
(Bombman walks out of the room and into the kitchen. In a huff, Shadowman follows him.)
Shadowman: Hey, look! The Sinister Six were good friends of mine and I was wondering just what the - (Shadowman moves out of the way as Bomb grabs a beer from the fridge) - Hell was going on here!
Bombman: We're the new Sinister Six.
Shadowman: No kiddin'.
Bombman: Sounds like you're up on current events. Did you hear how we saved the city?
Shadowman: Every team saved this loser city. I don't care.
Bombman: No? Because it was friggin' cool -
Shadowman: Look, I just want some answers, okay?Who the Hell are you? You're not Scott.
Bombman: No. I'm Rich.
Shadowman: Did you die or was cloned or some sort of crap like that?
Rich: Actually my history's pretty long and complicated. It's a mystery wrapped in an enigma housed in a question. In fact -
(Bombman tosses a bomb at a surprised Shadowman and blows him across the room.)
Rich: It's none of you're damn buisness you freakin' trespasser!
Shadowman: Oh - HO! So, THAT'S how it is, eh?
Erik: THERE YOU ARE!
Shadowman: Oh, fer the ... I don't have time for this.
Erik: (In a quiet whisper) You will pay for your -
(Shadowman disappears in a puff of smoke.)
Erik: Oh, that BASTARD! He disappeared while I was doing my quiet Windman voice!
Rich: Well you're not Wind anymore. You should cut it out already.
Erik: Shut up! I can do the quiet wind-voice if I want!
(Shadowman stealthily [for that is what ninjas do] makes his way to another room of the S6 base. Their .... OTHER TV room! Here he sees Elecman playing a video game while listening to music on loud headphones.)
Shadowman: Excuse me?
Elecman: Do doomm doo doo dooo!
Shadowman: Hello? Freaky ninja here.
Elecman: 'cuz I am a material girl!
Shadowman: Okay, that is not good to be singing aloud.
Elecman: Material! Materia ah-alllll!
(Shadowman bends down and poked Elecman on his shoulder.)
Shadowman: Hey. Buddy. Over -
Shadowman: What the?
Elecman: CROOK!! CRROOOOOOOOK!!
Shadowman: Dude! I am not a crook!
Elecman: You BROKE AN ENTERING!
Shadowman: Look, I'm a ninja, okay!? Ninjas sneak in. It's what we freakin' do ... Hey, blame the freakin' people for freakin' making me! Freakin' Hell!
Elecman: You still broke in! CROOOOOOOOK!!! HEEEEELLLLLPPP!!!
Shadowman: Oh, for cryin' out loud ... (Shadowman pulls out a key) I have a key, see? I have a key to this house. I was given a key.
Elecman: Give it back!
Shadowman: You're taking back my key?
Elecman: I don't think it's right you have it.
Shadowman: (puts the key in his pocket) Don't you know who I am?
(Elecman stares for a moment)
Elecman: Oh, wait. You're that Shadowman person. We fought together during that "Ice VS Red" thing. And then I died. Good times. Gooood times. I'm Odin, by the way.
Shadowman: Yeah, okay. I don't remember you, but it's good we have an understanding.
Odin: What? But we had so many adventures together. I'm Lennon's eternal rival. The protector of Forte Chan. And women everywhere. I'm chivalrous. I wield a mighty sword. You ... have to remember me.
Shadowman: .... Um, oh yeah. THAT Odin.
Odin: YOU DON'T REMEMBER ME!
Shadowman: Okay, I'm sorry!
Odin: You jerk!
Shadowman: I'm sorry, okay!
Odin: I still want that key back.
Shadowman: Oh come on!
Erik: THERE YOU ARE!
Shadowman: Oh, come on!
Erik: (in a quiet whisper, reminiscent of the wind) You will apologize or you will rue the -
(Shadowman uses this moment to disappear in a puff of smoke.)
Erik: That ... BASTARD!
Odin: Dude. Quit it with that quiet voice crap.
Erik: It is NOT CRAP!
(Shadowman makes his way to Iceman's old room where he heard noises from inside.)
Shadowman: What the ...?
(Shadowman opens the door to see Iceman making out with Cutman.)
Cutman: GET OUT! (Cutman tosses a Rolling Cutter. Shadowman quickly closes the door and so the cutter ends up lodging itself in the door with a loud crack.)
Shadowman: Uh, sorry for interrupting. Really, Ice, I didn't know you were that way. I'm actually a little surprised.
(Cutman responds by ramming into Shadowman, who turns into a log.)
Cutman: Hah! A log!? I'm a LUMBERJACK robot!
Shadowman: (Kicks Cut off him as he turns back). - Good point!
Iceman: Hey, Gauntlet!
Cutman: (launches at Shadowman) Don't you know how to knock!?
Shadowman: (dodging) I'm sorry! Sorry! I'm an old fiend, okay!?
(Cutman manages to deck Shadowman)
Cutman: I know! Learn to knock!
(Shadowman rubs his chin)
Shadowman: Yes sir.
Cutman: I'm not a "sir". I'm Britt. I was Quick man. Or Quck GIRL! Despite the "man" thing. I'm a girl that's the point. I fought in "In VS Red".
Shadowman: Did you die too?
Shadowman: Then .... Gary?
Gary: Hi, Gauntlet.
Shadowman: You're alive?
Gary: Heh. Yeah.
Shadowman: And you didn't call?
Gary: Uh ...
Shadowman: Just how long have you been back?
Gary: About .... two months now.
(Gary is hit by a shadowblade!)
Shadowman: You JERK!
(Shadowman is decked by Britt)
Britt: Don't hit my icey-kins!
(Shadowman is then hit by a bolt of electricity)
Odin: Give back our key!
Erik: (in a quiet voice) And now you will face my quiet -
(Shadowman darts into the nearest bedroom.)
Erik: DAMN IT!
(Shadowman, in the bedroom.)
Shadowman: Damn it! This place is a freakin' madhouse! What the Hell?
Fireman: .... Shadowman? What are you doing in my room?
Shadowman: Another faker! What the Hell!?
Fireman: Hey, I'm no faker! I's me! Ben!
Shadowman: Ben!? Good GOD, is it really you!?
Ben: It's really me.
Shadowman: But aren't you Heatman now?
Ben: No. That's the other Ben. There's two of us now.
Ben: And I'm not really the Ben you knew. My memories of that Ben died with the X-Force.
Shadowman: .... (hands move slowly towards his sword.)
Ben: .... Aww, I'm just funnin' with ya!
Shadowman: (sighs with relief) Oh, really? Thank goodness.
Ben: Two Bens ... you really fell for that crap didn't you?
Shadowman: Well, with all the craziness ...
Ben: I finally pulled one over ya!
Shadowman: Yes, yes. You did. Very good.
Ben: Finally pulled the wool over Mr. Secrety.
Shadowman: Okay, that is enough! I want answers! Who are these freaks? Why is Gary alive!? Why do the dead walk? Why are you Fireman? And why does no one want to answer my -
(The door bursts open to reveal several angry members of the Sinister Six.)
Erik: (in a quiet, windifully voice.) It's time to settle this with honor!
(Ben blocks Shadowman's certain death)
Gary: (from behind the crew) Come on everyone! This is getting really out of hand!
Erik: But ... But he must DIE! He made fun of my wind-voice!
Ben: Nobody likes your wind-voice.
Erik: But I'm Windman! Come on! Can't I keep doing my voice-thing?
Gary: I think we should all settle down and tell my old friend the whole story.
(And that is exactly what they do. Over pizza. In the living room.)
Shadowman: Oh, I get it! Wow, I wish I was a part of all that! And the way everyone was brought back from the dead .... wow. All I gotta say is wow.
Ben: Yep! You woulda been great against Kefka!
Britt: And you woulda seen the heroism my Icey-poo showed when he saved my life after Kefka almost destroyed everyone.
Shadowman: But ... I gotta hand it to you, Ice. Storing your consciousness in the S6's Transmetal armor .... that shows some planning I didn't think you had in you.
Gary: Yeah, well ... I'm the tricky one.
Erik: (in a quiet whisper) So you see .... the old Sinister Six retired, leaving us as their rightful heirs.
Shadowman: Yes. I know. You guys just finished telling me that long and complicated story.
Erik: (in a whisper) I'm just saying...
Shadowman: And, seriously. You aren't Windman anymore. You don't need to do the voice.
Shadowman: Still, after that adventure you've definitely proved that you're the rightful and true Sinister Six. I'm really impressed!
Erik: Some heroes we turned out to be.
Rich: Dude ... saying that at this point doesn't make any sense.
Ben: Yeah, it doesn't fit. You know, it's a note of depression and ... well, nobody's depressed here.
Erik: Um .... Now we'll be household names?
Rich: Okay, go outside and practice. You gotta start getting it right. You even messed it up on our first adventure.
Shadowman: Ahhh, the stink of new team!
Gary: With the start that we got, I'm sure we're headed to a bright and great future!
Shadowman: me too.
Britt: Me three! (hugs Gary)
Odin: I'm still waiting on that key, Gauntlet.