The
Sinister Six In:
Iceman Tribute - Clip Show
by
Ben (Magma Dragoon)
Author’s Note: This epilogue takes place before the events of Iceman vs. Red and sometime in Mechanical Maniacs Series 3.
Andon: Welp, Iceman and Magma Dragoon did it again. After their latest escapades Tim has finally had enough of their hijinks and decided to lock them in the panic room* in the basement so we could get some peace and quiet. Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go to the homeless shelter to volunteer…
(* Soon to be Ben’s containment cell in future epilogues –Author)
*Meanwhile downstairs*
Gary: …But I swear the orphanage blew up because of a gas leak!
Tim: Yeah and it was convenient that you and Ben were in the area! *Tosses Gary in*
Gary: *Smacks against the wall* THUD! Ouchies!
Ben: *Belching out fire in a rage as Tim hoists him up into the air* This is an outrage! I’m am the leader of the X-Force! You can’t do this to me! I’ll rip you limb from limb! *Thrown onto his adamantium posterior by Tim* CLANK!
Tim: Until you two can act like civilized human beings, you’re both staying here for the rest of the day while I sort this out with the mayor and the police. *Slams the door shut and sets the lock*
Ben: *Pounds against the walls* LET ME OUT OF HERE!
Gary: Forget about it, the walls are pure vibranium. You won’t be able to break out with your fists or your firepower. *wipe sweat off brow* Phew!
Ben: Something wrong?
Gary: Someone must’ve messed with the environmental controls; it’s so hot and steamy…
Ben: I didn’t notice anything wrong…
Gary: You swim in lava flows! Of course you wouldn’t notice. It’s like that time Obi-Wan and Anakin were trapped in the caves of Brimstun-8…
*Gary flashes back to the steamy caves Brimstun-8 where Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker are trapped by a cave in.*
Obi-Wan: Well it looks like were trapped here until the Jedi can mount a rescue.
Anakin: Wow, it’s getting hot down here. I better take off my robe…
*Anakin seductively takes off his robe revealing his bare, sweaty chest*
Obi-Wan: I do say, the heat his getting to me too… *Starts taking off his robe seductively.*
*Bow-Chic-A-Wow-Wow*
*Ben interrupts Gary’s flashback*
Ben: That never happened in Star Wars!
Gary: Did so!
Ben: Oh really? Where did you find this rather… disturbing scene?
Gary: I found it on the internet.
Ben: Oh that explains a lot, it was probably faked by some morbidly obese yaoi addicts. If we’re going to do a clip show, can we do something less… homoerotic?
Gary: Well there was the time when we first met the Xtreme Team…
*Gary flashes back to a couple years back, we he’s riding Ben like a horsey!*
Gary: Faster! FASTER! *Whips Ben with a stick*
Ben: OW! That’s the last time I bet against the Harlem Globetrotters! *Picks up speed towards the Monsteropolis St. Lawrence Tunnel*
*The entrance to the tunnel is blocked by a group resembling the androids from Megaman 3*
XT Geminiman: Hey look it’s a pair of fledging faggots!
Xtreme Team: *All laugh*
*Ben bucks up onto his two feet throwing Gary off*
Gary: Oof!
Ben: It’s those punks from the Metal Maniacs!
Gary: That’s Mecha Maniacs.
Ben: Whatever.
XT Protoman: Those gay jew lizard posers? Hah, they’re not even good enough to lick the shit off my boots.
Gary: So you like to step in doggy doo?
Ben: *Snicker*
XT Geminiman: Shut up! We’re the Xtreme Team, the best Mega Man 3 team on the entire planet! We have the better site! We have the better epilogues! We’ll hack your pathetic sites into oblivion!
Ben: X-Treme Team? Wait… I remember you from the history logs, you were an obscure team that was forgotten five years after its inception. *Points to XT Protoman* You were killed by a pack of Belorussian Hermaphrodites. *Points to XT Geminiman* And you died a virgin.
Gary: *Snicker* For real?
Ben: Yeah, let’s get out of here before they make bigger fools out of themselves.
*As Gary and Ben walk away from the X-Treme Team, their leader pitches a fit and scream at them like Napoleon on Red Bull.*
XT Geminiman: Yeah! You run away and go to you gay orgy you faggots! While you do that I’ll be doing your mother!
Ben: *Turns around and roars at them* TAKE THAT BACK YOU LITTLE MOTHER-!
Gary: *Holds Ben back* Calm down Dragon Butt, I’ll handle this. *Turns to XT Gem* You said you’d do my mother?
XT Geminiman: Yeah, I’ll have that bitch eating the…
Gary: Funny thing is that I was created by Dr. Light who in some sense would be my mother… so when you say you’d do my mother… You’ll be doing Dr. Light!
*Both Gary and Ben break out laughing*
XT Geminiman: *Turns pale*
*Then the rest of the X-Treme Team starts laughing*
XT Geminiman: SHUT UP ALL OF YOU! THE MECHS ARE FAGS! NOT ME!
*Dr. Light shows up in a tight leather outfit complete with whip*
Dr. Light: Yoo hoo sailor…
*Gary’s flashback dissolves*
Ben: Sweet jebus, Dr. Light in that leather outfit. *Shudders*
Gauntlet: I remember that, XT Gem cried himself to sleep for months.
Ben: Gauntlet?!
Gary: How did you get in here?
Gauntlet: Now that’s… a SECRET!
Gary: So you don’t know either?
Gauntlet: Pretty much, sup?
Ben: We’re in here because we blew up the orphanage.
Gary: So we’re remembering some of our earlier memories.
Gauntlet: I see, and it’s about as steamy as the Amazon in here. Like when Obi-Wan and Anakin were stuck on Brimstun-8…
*Gauntlet flashes back to the steamy caves Brimstun-8 where Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker are trapped by a cave in.*
Obi-Wan: Well it looks like were trapped here until the Jedi can mount a rescue.
Anakin: Wow, it’s getting hot down here. I better take off my robe…
*Anakin seductively takes off his robe revealing his bare, sweaty chest*
Obi-Wan: I do say, the heat his getting to me too… *Starts taking off his robe seductively.*
*Bow-Chic-A-Wow-Wow*
*Ben interrupts the flashback…again.*
Ben: That… didn’t… HAPPEN!
Gauntlet: Oh no? *pulls out a pirated Star Wars DVD* I found this in a Bulgarian market; it has the scenes George Lucas had to take out of “Attack of the Clones.” Let’s go watch on the DVD player…
*And so: Gary, Ben and Gauntlet watch the exact scene from the previous flashbacks*
*Bow-Chic-A-Wow-Wow*
Obi-Wan: You look so tense Anakin let me message those back muscles…
Ben: ENOUGH! *Punches the television, shattering the cathode ray tube* I can’t stand to see anymore!
Gary: Awww, and I wanted see Yoda and Mace Windu at the strip club at Mos Eisley!
Ben: Damn! I wouldn’t mind seeing that, why did Lucas remove it?
Gauntlet: If I remember correctly, the Moral Majority got to him…
*Flashes back to George Lucas, tied to a chair in a small, plain, and white room. Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson emerge from the shadows*
Jerry Falwell: Begone devil man! Leave this wayward son and let him know your…!
George Lucas: I’m not possessed! I swear it!
Jerry Falwell: Silence the heathen!
*Pat Robertson stuffs Geroge’s mouth with a sweaty old gym sock and the flashback ends*
To be Continued .... NOT!
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