Lord of The Beers
Andon: This Epilouge follows on with Ben's Harry Potter
installment, and will include characters from Lord
Of The Rings.
Narrator: It's midnight at Sinister Six HQ and a lone figure prowls
through the dark palace. In search of something he values.
Something that keeps him motivated. Or perhappes something
that makes him roaring drunk.
IRA: *opens the fridge* Damn...I'm out of booze. I could
of sworn I bought some whisky last week. I wonder what
stores are open this late at night.
(With that said IRA quietly stumbles out into the night
to find something edible to drink)
Narrator: But not to far off in the mist two figures talk from
an outside portal that has been opened up just recently.
1: It's time. We must go back. There's nothing here
that seems to impress me. This place lacks warriors
2: I donno master. Maybe we should look around more.
1: Oh, no doubt about it. My readings detect heavy
activity here. But I'm outside of Mordore. My powers
weaken quickly when away from the home world.
2: Sire...someone approaches...
(The two figures remain quiet and notice a shadow emerging
not to far from where they are)
Figure: *grinning* This plot has to work. The best
way to defeat The Sinister Six is to take them out one
by one. And stealing all the liquor in their base is
the best way to deal with IRA. *laughs evilly*
(Soon IRA approaches)
Figure: Mhwahaha! Now's the time. *pulls out a bag*
IRA: Hey...who are you?
Figure: A friend...I hear you are out of good, cold
alchol. Here take this. *hands IRA the bag*
IRA: *looks in and pulls out a beer bottle labled "Big
Red"* Whoah...cool. How did you...
Figure: *pulls away his cloth revealing none other
than Buster Rod G*
IRA: Buster! I should of known.
Rod G: Indeed. My little scheme worked. Now you
fell for the bait! *large spark appears on Buster's
sphear and knocks IRA back*
IRA: *recovers* OUch...*looks at his beer* AT least
this is okay. *sets it down softly*. Now it's my turn!
BURN!! *IRA releases two balls of heating fire at Buster*
Rod G: Hah! *quicky evades the first shot but fails
to dodge the 2nd*
Rod G: Crap! *gets knocked towards the back wall*
OUch! Well, my main purpose isn't to fight you, but
to poison you.
IRA: With what?
Rod G: Heh...you'll soon find out. The best thing
about your Sinister Sixlets, is you are to damn gullable.
See you in heck!! *vanishes away*
IRA: *looks dumbfolded* Ah well. The spoils of war.
I got a souvanier *takes the bottle of beer and drinks
it* This will do for tonight. *burps*
(With that done the two figures talk to one another
and their disquises fade off)
Saruman: You see that? It seems I've been mistaken. That battle
has told me there are warriors here worthy of my army.
Orc: I donno master. So one can cast magic spells. The
other can blow fire. There's creatures in Middle-Earth
that can do the very same.
Saruman: True. But their armor...nothing have I've seen before.
And Seeing how they combine their abilities with your
common fighting-techniques is something unique. Let's
follow the "Fire God" and see if he can lead us to more
of his kind.
Orc: As you wish master...
Narrator: And so the two figures follow IRA back to S6 HQ. And
unknown to IRA the beer he drank does have a special
poison...but we all know Buster Rod G. and his "screwed
(The next morning at Sinister Six HQ the others prepair
Tim: Will someone get IRA. He'll miss breakfast.
Andon: Let him sleep in dude. You know how he is and his midnight
Tim: It's a bad habit that needs to be avoided.
Jason: True That. So what's on today's agenda Tim?
Tim: I was hoping Scott can teach me that recipe for Banana
Scott: Almost Ready! *slaves at the stove*
Gary: *walks into the kitchen and see's Scott* MWHAAHAHAHAHAHA!
Scott: And what the hell is so fricken funny?
Gary: That Apron...it's gotta go. *laughs*
Tim: Gary, will ya leave Scott alone. You're lucky he's cooking
Gary: *is on the floor laughing*
Jason: *kicks Gary* Stop it man!
Gary: *bites Cutman's foot*
Jason: Owwww! *kicks Iceman again only harder*
Gary: *bites his other foot*
Jason: Okay...that's it! *CRASH*
(Outside Sinister Six HQ)
Saruman: So there's six of them.
Orc: Not very many to start an army sire, I reccommend
trying a different world.
Saruman: *watchs Andon light up the room with electricity to
get Jason and Gary to stop fighting*
Saruman: Now that can provide use. It seems each of of them harnesses
a different, and unique element. Very impressive.
Orc: Perhappes they can be usefull after all.
Saruman: A few jolts of electricity like that can knock out an
Elf army in seconds...*laughs as he opens up a portal*
Orc: *stands back*
Saruman: *starts inchanting a spell*
(The Echo can be heard inside HQ)
Andon: Dude...what's that noise?
IRA: *comes tiredly down the stairs* Will you guys be
quiet with the spell casting...I need sleep...
Tim: Spell Casting?
(At that moment The Six were no longer in HQ, but in
the fury pits of Mordor)
Tim: Where the heck?
Saruman: Welcome my friends. You've been chosen to help me conquor
all of Middle Earth!
Orc: I told you, they just wouldn't listen to you.
Saruman: They are robots, they have to obey.
Andon: We are different than your ordinary robots! We're Androids!
Saruman: Hmmm...wasn't expecting that. Well, how about having
Truly awesome and Fearful power, more so than you already
Tim: We already have a lot of really awesome power, and where
the hell are we?
Gary: You know Tim...I've always wondered...
Tim: I know... all the strange universes and characters we
happen to come across...it's...
Gary: No...Tim. What is with that weird bag thing in "Not
Another Teen Movie".
Tim: *knocks Gary to the next millineum* STOP CHANGING THE
Saruman: Anyway...bow down to me and serve me, or death will
be brought upon you.
Scott: I sence another fight scene coming up...
Andon: Uggggg...is that "all" we ever do?
Saruman: You choose Death over serving under the awsome power
of Mordorn? Idiots! *throws the Sixback with his magic staff*
Six: Ahhhh!!! *flies through the wall*
(At the moment another wizard appears not to far away)
Gandalf: Saruman! Leave them alone and pick on someone with your
Jason: Saruman? Sounds like a new breed of Digimon.
You old fool. Can't you stop medling where you don't
Gandalf: If I didn't medle, then you would be taking over Middle-Earth!
*strikes Saruman with a blast from his staff*
Saruman: *falls back* You've always been the weaker one...*uses
a force blow to knock Gandalf off his feet*
Saruman: Now to finish what I should of started years ago! *feels
a blade cut his staff in half* WHAT!?
Jason: Sorry there pal, but we know evil doings when we see
Saruman: *smiles* Orcs! Attack!
Tim: Orcs? What the hell are...*an arrow hit his arm* Orcs.
(About 50 Orcs come blazing in)
Scott: Those are Orcs...I guess.
Gary: WE'LL NO SHIT SHERLOCK!
Gandalf: This doesn't look good...
(A massive battle...as predicted begins)
Tim: *throws a couple Orcs into others*
Gary: *freezes several Orcs in place which frightens others
Scott: *tosses a bomb near the center of the Orc crowd, and
they go flying in all directions*
Jason: *slashes and dismembers Orcs as they approach him*
Andon: Oi...I guess I must fight. *shocks the entire arena*
(The Orcs approach IRA)
Orc#45: Attack weltch! *tries to slice him with his blade*
IRA: *a large orange haze glow comes through his arm
(Before the Orcs has time to recongize anything, he's
Tim: Looks like we have the upper hand!
Saruman: Come forth Orcs! DESTROY THEM!!
(About 200 more Orcs come)
Gandalf: ENOUGH! *magically makes him and the Six disappear*
Saruman: You've escaped this time!
I WILL RULE THE WORLD
next we meet...You. Shall. NOT. SURVIVE
(Sarumon's voice echos' through out Middle-Earth as
Gandalf and the Six safely appear near Rivendale)
Gandalf: Ohhh...I'm getting to old for this.
Tim: Thanks for what you did back there. I thought that would
be the end of us for sure!
Gandalf: Anytime. You're not the first pick of the litter either.
Andon: What do you mean my pointy-hatted friend?
Gandalf: We've gotten several visitors here before. Mostly Sarumon
has visited countless other worlds, finding warriors.
All attemps have failed up to date. Though you six are
the first to survive his ordeal.
Jason: You mean...the others...
Tim: Damn...well I don't like it here much. NO offense.
Gandalf: None taken.
Tim: Once again thanks for all your help! Sinister Six Reunite!
Tim: That's odd. Usually that phrase works...
Andon: I think our teleports don't work if we are "really"
far from home.
Gandalf: Don't worry. I can take you home...however my power
is weak and I need to regain my strength. Why don't
you come inside and rest?
Jason: Why not...
IRA: *stumbles behind*
Tim: IRA has been quiet this whole episode...what gives?
Andon: Dunno dude...maybe it was that beer he drank last night.
(Gandalf leads them to a lone house in Rivendale)
Sam: Mr. Frodo, why don't we head back to Hobbiton, I'm kinda
Frodo: Later Sam, just enjoy the festivities.
Gimli: Right my little lads, don't rush off so soon.
(The door opens)
Frodo: Gandalf! We have some...*stops in mid sentance*
Strider: Who are these guys?
Frodo: They look like Iron Golems?
Gimli: Iron Golems aren't very friendly ya know...
They aren't Golems. Golems are much bigger.
Tim: Nah we are Robots.
Gandalf: Robots that control the natural elements? Impossible!
Tim: What, you've never heard of Robots?
Gandalf: I'm sorry my lad. It seems no one here besides myself
would understand what a Robot is.
Jason: I kinda figured that much.
Gandalf: Here we do have a variety of different types or races.
That man over there with the big ax are known as Dwarfs.
Gimli: *gestures a welcome*
Gandalf: Over there we have an Elf. Pointy ears and long golden
hair make them easily recongized.
Jason: *whispering to Gary* He can be easily mistaken for Link
from Legend of Zelda.
Legolas: *sits aside polishing his arrow tips*
Gandalf: You may recongize Strider's race, as he is a Man with
incredible sparring skills.
Frodo: Sam and I here are Hobbits.
Gandalf: Ahhh...Hobbits are facinating creatures.
and Sam: *smile*
IRA: *covers his stomach in pain*
Jason: Dude...you going to be alright?
(Then Iceman and Frodo caught eyes of each other)
and Gary: Hey,
I bet I'm taller than him! (They sized each other up
standing on their tippie toes)
Frodo: No use trying, I'm taller.
Gary: Oh yeah? In your dreams Hobbit! *steps on his foot*
And stop cheating!
Frodo: Owwww! *hopping around* YOu!!
Legolas: *armed himself with an arrow*
Gandalf: Enough! Come on! We all are friends here!
Tim: I agree...stop!
Gimli: I won't be friends with a bunch of possesed suits or
IRA: Who you calling possessed you Orge!
Gimli: I'm not an Orge! I'm a Dwarf, and you'll soon find out
the difference! *slashes one of IRA's arm cannon's off*
Jason: Hey! *gets shot with an arrow* Ouch!
Legolas: *pulls another one* I have plenty more where that came
Strider: By the order of Gondor I'll vanquish you! *slashes at
Andon: Ack dude! I won't fight you!
Legolas: *shoots an arrow at Gary*
Gary: *catchs it in mid air and crushes it*
Gary: That's enough of that crap.
Gandalf: SILENCE! *slams his staff into the ground causing a
Everyone: *stops what they are doing*
Gandalf: Don't you all see that we are on the same side? Fellowship,
these Robots helped me in temporarly defeating Saruman
and his army.
Strider: Whoah...one simply must have a lot of skill to take
on Saruman and his forces. For that I'm grateful and
offer my apologies.
Andon: Hey man it's kewl. *shakes Stider's hand*
Jason: *pulls the arrow out from his chest* Thank god I'm robotic
and not organic.
Jason: Not one for apologies I see. *shakes his hand*
Frodo: I'm sorry too, It seems that I'm the shorter one for
Gary: Nah. I'm the shorter one. After all I stepped on your
Tim: You both look exactly the same height, now give it a
Scott *starts snooping around*
IRA: *backs off into a corner holding his damaged hand*
Gimli: I'm sorry their lad...friends? *puts out his hand*
IRA: *refuses his hand and backs further into the corner*
Tim: He's been acting strange all day. I wonder what's wrong.
Andon: *approaches IRA* Come on man. I'll repair your arm.
Just let me...
IRA: *snaps at Andon with fangs and blood shot eyes*
Andon: *backs off quickly* Holy shit dude!
Tim: Maybe you should just leave him be Andon.
Andon: I don't know dude. You've should of seen the look in
Jason: Hmmm...maybe he just needs to rest.
Gandalf: Robots that sleep? I didn't think they required sustanance,
Scott: *is scarfing down Elvish bread in the background*
Legolas: HEY! How did he get that!? *runs to get the bread from
Tim: Oh...heh. We developed human digestive systems too...
Gandalf: *looking at Scott and Legolas fight over the bread*
You never sieze to amaze me...
(AT that moment a roaring sound could be heard in the
and Sam: What was that?
Strider: *prepairs his sword*
(everyone turns to the corner that IRA once lay)
(A large mechanical figure begins to stand up right
and as his foot touches home the entire house shakes)
Everyone: *Looked up at that 10 foot thing that had once been
IRA, The poison has taken its toll*
Tim: It's like Jekal and Hyde all over again!
Legolas: He's turned into a Iron Giant...I thought they were
IRA: *roars and steps forward*
(The Fellowship and Sinister Six back off)
Andon: I...I can't...fight him!
Tim: We don't have a choice Andon!
Gimli: Never have I seen such a ugly creature...
Gandalf: It's a breed of robot and a Giant put together...this
can present a problem.
Legolas: *shoots an arrow at the beast but it reflects off its
Legolas: I see what you mean! The arrows won't penetrate!
Gary: *approaches* I've been known to take down things 10
times my size...I'll take care of this.
(Gary steps forward
and is wacked clear out of the house by IRA's massive
Frodo: A lot of help that did!
BACK! BACK I SAY! *uses his staff to knock the creature
back, but it continues its assault*
Gimli: *tosses his Ax as it gets stuck in the creatures armor*
IRA: *not noticing the ax breaths a large flame at everyone*
Gandalf: Arrgg...*saying a quick spell in ancient elvish and
the fire did not touch them, for it was reflected off
a mystic sheild*
Strider: *approaches and slashes the beast, but his sword breaks
IRA: *swipes at Strider knocking him out of the house
Legolas: *climbs on some furnature and jumps on the creatures
head shooting an arrow straight down on it*
(The arrow reflects off and hits Legolas on his head,
not the pointy side)
IRA: *tosses The Elf off and breaths fire at Gimli who
tried a frontal*
and Jason: We are weak against Fire, what little
can we do?
Tim: *makes an attempt to pick up the large beast but is
IRA: *starts to speak* I....I...am...IRA...Fear..Me!
Jason: It's us. Your friends!
IRA: *starts to make more sense* I have no friends...*walks
off through the house*
Tim: We've all failed...
Gandalf: Your friend has accired to much strength to stop...even
the fellowship has failed to stop him.
Jason: Well...there's still Iceman.
Tim: Hey...that's right! Gary hasn't fought worth crap...the
Frodo: How could Iceman stop big Fireman if all the rest of
us combined can't?
Andon: My hairy-footed friend...Iceman has the element that
Fireman is weak against.
Frodo: *smiles* Ice!
(Outside Strider gets knocked around as Iceman approaches
IRA: Hello littleman. I'm taking you down.
Gary: Okay...you leave me no choice IRA...
IRA: Wait a minute...That's Iceman isn't it?
IRA: Iceman...means Ice Slasher...OH I HATE THOSE! *begins
IRA: *cowers* OH god! Please don't hurt me! I'm sorry!
I'll never do it again!
Gary: ........*looks at Strider confused*
Strider: *lifts his shoulders up in confusion*
IRA: *gets down on his hands and knees* Come on...you
know I was kidding right? *starts to whimper*
Gary: .........I must knock you out IRA...you've come...
IRA: Oh...*sob* *sob* This is going to hurt isn't it?
Gary: Yup. *With that Gary knocks out IRA with a single Ice
Slasher and the big beast is put down*
(Thanks to Bob and George for this joke!)
(The Iron Giant turns back into IRA and the curse is
Tim: Nice job Gary...looks like IRA's current transformation
has subsided for now.
Frodo: You guys...are pretty intresting...*sits down to rest*
Jason: This is nothing compared to our other wacky adventures.
Gandalf: I donno which is worse...The Dark Lord, or you.
Narrator: Later that day, Gandalf finally regains enough energy
to create a portal back to the Six's Homeworld
Gandalf: It's been quite a day. It started off rough but now
look at us.
Tim: Indeed Gandalf. It usually always starts off rough,
but in the end it works out for us.
Gimli: *shows Scott some old medievil recipies*
Scott: This would be excellent!
Legolas: *learns to shoot fire animated arrows thanks to IRA*
Not bad. You know, your race ain't so bad.
IRA: I really don't classify robots as a race...but okay.
*pats him on his shoulder*
and Jason: *Have a friendly sparring sword match*
(Gary, Frodo, and
Sam *talk amongst each other)
Frodo: You know, it ain't so bad being short.
Gary: Indeed. You are a harder target to hit, plus you can
fit in many different places.
Sam: That is true.
Gary: And it's easier to sneak up on others...espically one
ninja that I know of...*snickers*
Frodo: Heh. A prankster I see.
Gary: Oh...and Frodo...do something about those blue eyes...they
FREAK THE BEJABBERS OUTTA ME!
Sam: He's right you know Mr. Frodo...where the heck did you
get such big goofy eyes.
Frodo: SHUT UP SAM!!
Tim: Alright guys, we have to get back. Who knows what's
going on in Megaolpolis with our absense.
(All the Six Groan)
Gandalf: We all must do with the time that is givin to us. *opens
up a portal*
Tim: I doubt we'll ever have the teleport range to come back
this far from home, so god speed all!
Strider: Of course my robot friends. We won't forget you.
Legolas: You'll forget by tommorow.
Strider: *gives the look to shut up*
Frodo: Goodbye all. *waves*
The Six: *Wave Back
as they fall into the portal*
(The Six disapear in Gandalf's portal)
Gandalf: Now that is over with, we can continue our mission too...
(Another portal appears)
Frodo: Hey guys! Did you forget something...
Kefka: Ahhh...an intresting collection we have here. It
seems I've stumbled upon the Lord Of The Rings Universe.
Gandalf: What sort of treachory is this!?
Kefka: A Wizard, Two Hobbits, A Human, An Elf, A Dwarf,
and oh...so many rare things!
Gimli: What kind of race are you supposed to be?
Kefka: I'm merly a collector...
Strider: What do you want here?
Kefka: Just peices for my collection. Mwhahahahah! *waves
Gandalf: *lights his staff*
Gimli: This is one less Dwarf that'll be displayed in your
zoo! *gets his ax ready*
(And so, yet another battle rages on)
(Back at Sinister Six HQ)
IRA: I promise I'll never touch another beer again...
(10 minutes later)
IRA: *burps* Hey...daddy...that's a nice...*burp* watch...*faints*
Tim: Some heroes we turned out to be, after all that IRA
is still drinking.
Andon: Don't feel so bad my big friend, at least we don't have
to worry about a sudden mass of attacking Orcs.
Jason: True That, now we have to worry about a sudden mass
of attacking IRS agents.
Gary: We never did pay off those bills did we?
IRA: *rolling on the floor* It's a....*urP* Godzilla
sized Book! *rips a book in half*
Gary: Oh yeah...IRA shreaded the bills...
Scott: Hey, I just got this free movie ticket! Let's go see
The Lord Of The Rings.
Tim: Hmmmm...for some reason I felt like I "just" saw that