Sinister Six In:
Violence on Television
Note: Don't ask why I used the characters from American Pie. They were to appear in Dastardly Trio: Issue 2 as well, so I thought they could cameo here too. Anyways enjoy!
Andon: A Classic Blast to the past
with the old Sinister Six Team. This story is a tad more unique, and doesn't exactly star us,
but check it out anyways, it's worth a good laugh!
(Inside an old appartment, several young people prepare for their afternoon entertainment)
Jessica: Okay, let's behave tonight alright guys, we are baby sitting little Cheryl for a week.
Stifler: *laughs* Baby sitting? When did this happen?
Jessica: So Kevin is out of town with his girl, so sue me...
Finch: Lighten up guys, I got the popcorn, and Jim's brung over his televison set, so
let's get ready for the show.
Stifler: Yeah! Man, these dudes crack me up!
Jessica: *sets little Cheryl (who is a merly 2 years old) onto the sofa next to Stifler*
Oz: *comes in with soda* Shall we drink!?
Stifler: Whhaaaa!? No booze!?
Oz: Man, you've been watching to much of that Sinister Six Show. Fireman?
Stifler: Screw you man, I've drank way before these came
Jim: *sitting down* Shhhhh...it's starting!
Oz: *sits down on the floor* I don't know what the hell you guys see in this dumb show.
(The opening credits start which sounds just like the Itchy and Scratchy Theme)
But they fight!
Friends, Friends, Friends,
Fight, Fight, Fight,
It's the Sinister Six Show!!!
Jim: I wonder what crazy antics await us this time!
*Little Cheryl watches with amazing intrest*
ON the show the cartoon music starts
Gary: *whacks Scott over the head with his wooden mallet*
Scott: Owww!! *covers his head in pain*
Gary: *unscrews his head and places one of Scott's bombs on*
Scott: *large close up his body being all blackened*
Jim: *laughs loudly* Now that's hilarous!
Finch: I find that oddly kinda cruel...
Stifler: Shut it Ship Wreck! I'd love to do that to a certain mother screwer!
Finch: *gets up* Well, time for more chips.
Oz: I really don't see the point in this show...
Stifler: Come on Oz! They are friends, but they fight each other...that's what makes it so
*While a small argument breaks out Cheryl watchs in intrest*
Jason: *tapes Andon's hair gel to a bull dog*
Andon: *attempts to grab the gel but gets his arm ripped of*
Stifler: Brilliant! Sheer Brillance!
Oz: Oh brother...
Gary: *whacks them both with a mallet*
Andon: *falls to the ground with a big bump on his head*
Jason: *starman starts to circle around his head dancing the "La Caracha"
Jim and Stiftler: *continue laughing*
(And so the laughing and crazy antics continued most of the night until the show was over and time
Stifler: *downstairs in his room* Ahhh man...what a good night. I got a date with a cute
chick tommorow, and it's off to the bar! My day is all set! *he hears a noise*
Stifler: Wha? Who's there?
*Stifler gets out from his bed and looks around the basement*
Stifler: Hmmm...guess I was hearing things.
*Soon a shadow looms over him and a large wooden mallet hits him over the head*
Stifler: *falls face first down and knocks over a paint bucket of red paint*
Cheryl: *crawls off upstairs carring the mallet*
(The red paint soaks up the ground and drains)
THE NEXT MORNING
Jessica: What happend!?
Finch: It seems Stifler was hit by a mallet. He claims Cheryl did it.
Oz: Hmmm...that's odd.
Jim: *comes in with popcorn* Yeah, well the show is about to start.
Oz: Do we have to watch that filth?
Finch: It's not filth...it's actually pretty entertaining!
Jim: *turns on the televison* Indeed...
Jessica: I wonder how a innocent 2 year old could hit someone over the head with mallet.
*The Sinister Six Theme comes on and ends*
Jim: Shhh...it's starting!
The title of the cartoon reads: They keep on the wacking
Finch: I think we've seen this one.
*Gary and Scott are whacking each other with large mallets at lightning speeds*
Finch: *laughing* Now that's funny.
Jim: Oh yeah! *laughs more*
*The Sinister Six are sitting at the dinner table*
IRA: My steak is moving! *grabs fork and tries to stab it*
*the steak moves all over the table*
IRA: *ends up stabbing Tim's hand*
Tim: THAT DOES IT! *steam pours of his ears and throws IRA out the window*
Jim: *laughs so hard he's on the floor crying*
Cheryl: *grabs a fork and tries to stab Jessica with it*
Oz: *stops her* I knew it! It's this retard show! It's filling her head with ideas!
Jessica: Hmmm...You're right. Now that I think about it...this show is kinda violent.
Jim: Violent!? Come on! It's just a cartoon show! What is so violent about it?
Gary: *slices Tim's head off with a chainsaw*
Jim: Point taken...we'd better go see Stifler at the hospital...
Narrator: At the hosptial.
Super Chaos: *tosses Iceman into the rubble* Got 'em!
The other Six: OH no! Iceman!
Stifler: *in hosptial bed* Come on! Get up!
*Iceman's left hand pops out from the rubble*
Super Chaos: Impossible! Nobody could of survived that!
*his arm drops*
*Iceman's other hand pops out from the rubble*
Tim: He survived! Yeah!
*his other arm drops*
Andon: OH nO!!
Stifler: Oh boy...
*Iceman's left foot pops out from the rubble*
*sweat drops from everyone*
Super Chaos: Alright...that does it..*fires a beam at the rubble*
*Iceman's left foot drops*
Scott: I guess this is the end...
IRA: The end of Iceman...
*everyone starts to cry*
Super Chaos: *laughs evilly*
Stifler: It can't be...he can't be dead...
*Iceman's other foot pops from the rubble*
Tim: *rips the foot out of its socket* It's a fake!
IRA: If that's not Iceman...then who is it?
Jason: It's Gauntlet!
Gauntlet: GIVE ME MY FOOT BACK! *cuts off Tim's arm with a Shadow Blade*
Stifler: *laughs* Oh...good quality Television!
Scott: *covers Super Chaos's eye* Guess who!
Super Chaos: The Easter Bunny?
Scott: Nope, a Bomb! *blows up Chaos and yellow goop flies everywhere*
Andon: Good job Scott!
Scott: *blasts Andon with his machine gun*
Andon: *head rolls around laughing* Yay!
*tv turns off*
Stifler: Hey! I was watching that!
Oz: Not anymore...we're boycotting that show.
Stifler: But why? There's nothing wrong with it! Watch! *turns it back on*
Gary: Hey Jason, I got a rare pokemon card in this bag.
Jason: OOOOH!! *sticks his head in*
Gary: *releases the blade on the Guillotine*
Jason: *head rolls around with Andon's laughing*
*tv turns off*
Jessica: See what I mean? That's just downright sick!!
Stifler: But they're friends!
Oz: Friends don't do that to each other Stifler, and you know it.
Stifler: But it's just a harmless cartoon.
Jessica: You call this harmless?
*Jessica holds up Cheryl while she's happily swinging a knife*
Finch: She stabbed me on the way here...
Stifler: You serious? *laughs*
Jessica: It's not funny. This is serious.
Oz: That's right. We're going right down to the station and get to the bottom of this!
*And so they go to the Sinister Six Studios*
Tour Guide: Hi! And welcome to the Sinister Six Studios! Can I intrest you in a offical Iceman Mallet? Or maybe a official Bombman Hyper Bomb!?
Jessica: Wait...is that a real bomb?
Tour Guide: Try it and find out!
Jessica: I'll pass...
*they continue walking into the studios*
Kid 1: *hits another kid with a anvil* Take that!
Kid 2: *stabs another kid with a plastic knife* Die bastard!
Oz: *unapprovally shakes head*
Jessica: That is so wrong.
Stifler: *limping* Come on...nothing wrong with a little Sinister Six fandom!
Kid 3: *stomps on Stiflers Foot* Eat dirt and die Super Chaos!
Stifler: Alright...I get your point. Let's find out who is in charge here!
*So they walk into the Studio*
*Some of the employees run around, chasing each other with hammers*
Oz: This is so sad. The whole place is being runned by monkeys.
Jessica: *grabs an employee* Excuse me sir...but can you tell me where your manager is?
Employee: What will you give me for this information? Candy? *pulls out mallet*
Jessica: YOU'LL TELL ME WHERE HE IS NOW!!!!!
Employee: Okay! Third floor!
Jessica: As you can see, I don't put up with that crap.
*so they make their way to the managers office*
Stifler: *bangs the door down* I demand you cancel the Sinister Six Show!
Jessica: It's a bad influence on our children!
*before Cheryl was dropped off at home*
Cheryl: *stuffs a bomb in Finch's mouth*
*it blows up*
*back at the office*
Oz: Take it off the air!
Manager: I see. What if I didn't want to take the show off the air?
Jessica: We'll get thousands and thousands of mothers behind us, and you'll be forced to take it off!
Manager: Don't you know who you're talking to?
Oz: Ummm...the manager of this stupid show?
Manager: How dare you call my show stupid. *turns around in his chair*
Jim: Holy Hannah!
Ben: That's right folks. Magma Dragoon. I'm the manager of this show. And I say it's fine as it is!!
Jessica: But kids, and babies alike are mauling each other...it's sickening..
Ben: That's just how I like if folks. Mauling and killing. That's how I view things.
Stifler: But...isn't that sadistic?
Ben: Maybe...but that's how I run the show, you don't like it, then step up and challenge me. The winner gets the show. NOW WHO IS FIRST!!
Stifler: *pushes Finch up* You're first!
Ben: *slices Finch's head off* NEXT!
Oz: Ummm...I think I hear my mom calling...
Ben: *pouncs on Oz and eats him alive* NEXT!!
Jessica: This is just like the cartoon! So fight back! *grabs a frying pan and hits Ben over the head*
Ben: ...............the hell?
Stifler: *backs away slowly*
Ben: *rips Jessica apart*
Jim: *is thrown out the window* AAAAHHHH
Ben: How about you?
Stifler: I never had a problem with your show! Honestly! I love it!
Ben: THAT'S A LIE!!
Stifler: *shakes* No honestly...they forced me to come...
Ben: Zat so? Hmmm...*glares at him*
Stifler: Yeah...yeah! I love your show! Just don't kill me!
Ben: Really? Love the show eh? Care to prove that?
*later that day at Cheryl's house*
Cheryl: *claps as she turns on the TV*
Scott: Hey! Look at our new friend!
Gary: Hey Stifler! Got your nose!
Gary: *rips off Stiflers nose* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
IRA: *takes Stifler and tosses him over a barbque* Who's up for a human sandwich?
Stifler: Owwww...owwww...hot! *jumps off* Get me out of here!
Andon: *trips Stifler* Sorry, foot slipped.
Gary: Dog pile! On Stifler!
*The Sinister Six pile on top of Stifler, crushing his bones and ribs*
Cheryl: *cheers as she grabs a knife and crawls for her neighbors house*
Narrator: And this is why folks...some cartoons should never be watched...
Ben: WATCH MY SHOW...OR ELSE!!!