Too Many Members!

By: Oilman

Narrator:It's not too long after the Sinister Six get their latest new member, the "Helmet" known as Bart, when Torchman comes up with a new plan.

Torchman: GUYS! Gather round! I have a new plan!

Oilman: A plan? So you're going to pay the electric bill today?

Torchman: What? No. Waveman can handle that.

Waveman: Why me?

Oilman: And where did Volt, Sonic, and Dyna go?

Torchman: Oh, them? Yeah, they left.

Bitman: What!? Again?

Torchman: Yes. I told them that we will forever remain the Sinister SIX, regardless of them being on the team. So they took off.

Oilman: Great. You know, Torch, this is why Crorq left. You just won't budge -

Torchman: SILENCE!

Oilman: I mean, Hell. If they were on our team, there'd be NINE of us. Isn't that why we changed our name to "The Demonic Nine" for a little bit?

Torchman: I CALLED FOR SILENCE!

Oilman: AND for crying out loud .... when will you pay our bills? Eventually they'll send someone for -

(Torchman shoots out a fireball at Oilman! Being saturated in oil, Oilman catches on fire quickly.)

Oilman: GWAHHH!! GAHHH!! GOOD GOD!

Sharkman: Wah hah hah hah hah!

Torchman: I told you to be silent.

Waveman: I better get that ..... (I don't want all my CDs to melt).

(Waveman douses Oilman's flames.)

Torchman: Unless there are any other interruptions ...?

Oilman: .... *glares angrily at Torch*

Torchman: Right. As you know, we have a new member. The almighty Bart!

Bart: Barti-ty BART!

Blademan: Yeah.

Bart: *Buuuuurrrrp*

Sharkman: HAhh hah hah!

Torchman: And that got me to thinking .... why is our team comprised of only robot masters?

Bitman: Because that's how these teams are done ...?

Torchman: But why are things that way? Whose idea was this?

Sharkman: Uhhh ....

Blademan: Hmmm ...

Bitman: It's "that way" because that's how everyone's done it. And how everyone's been doing it.

Torchman: Yes ..... they all follow a set of guidelines ..... a set of "rules". And who made up these rules?

Waveman: Iceman?

Blademan: Uh, the past Megaman teams?

Oilman: A general consensus among the community as a whole?

Torchman: IT WAS GAUNTLET!

Blademan: Really?

Sharkman: THAT JERK! He can't tell us how to run our team!

Torchman: Exactly! You've got it right, Sharkman. That control freak just made them up.

Blademan: But ..... why would he do that?

Torchman: He's the man. He wants to keep us down.

Bitman: Geez, you know he is pretty adamant that those "Megaman Team rules" of his be followed.

Bart: Bartity-BART! (I don't know what you freaks are talking about.)

Bitman: So, where are you goin' with this, Torch?

Torchman: I propose we open up membership. To EVERY character from "Megaman PC3".

Sharkman: HELLZ YEAH! That idea's totally tits!

Blademan: Heh heh heh .... yeah! We'll have an army on our side!

Oilman: Uhhhhhgh. You retard. We live in a SHACK. And We're the Sinister SIX for Christ's sake. It's bad enough when we have nine members and now you want -

(Torchman once more fires fireballs at Oil, setting him on fire again!)

Oilman: GWAHH!!!

Torchman: I call for silence!

Oilman: GAAAAGH!

Waveman: I got it. Again.

(Waveman douses Oil.)

Oilman: Ohhh .... GOD!

Waveman: Yeah. Now you know how I feel every single day.

Torchman: This will be .... our greatest moment .... ever.

(Within a few weeks, the Six gather together in the garage all the creatures that helped them create chaos during the "third" Crorq-created rebellion.)

Blademan: Hey, we got ourself a huge team!

Sharkman: Totally tits. This is .... totally ... TOTALLY ...

Waveman: *groan* I forgot how lame these guys were.

Sharkman: !!!

Blademan: What? But ...

Torchman: Silence! Now that our forces are gathered, let us all do roll call!

Bitman: But we already know who all these guys are....

Blademan: But what if they don't know each other?

Torchman: Exactly. Now! Roll Call!

Bart: I'm Bart the Helmet!

Sharkman: What about your dog? Spike?

Torchman: I don't have, nor ever had, a dog named Spike.

Sharkman: Really? Because I could have sworn -

Torchman: Continue the roll call!

Toxman: Heh heh ..... I'm Toxman. I love this place.

Weed: I love it too. I'm Weed.

Sharkman: Dood! Weed!

L. Weed: And I'm Large Weed.

Sharkman: DOOD!

Blademan: Uh .... I don't think they're that kinda weed, Shark.

Sharkman: *stares off in space* yeah ...... Large Weed ......

Bee: Beee bee bee bee bee bee bee ~

Torchman: Okay, that's enough.

Bee: Beee bee bee bee bee bee bee ~

Torchman: I SAID THAT'S ENOUGH!

S.Dragon: I'm Snap Dragon.

Rose: And I'm Rose.

S.Dragon, Rose: The Floronic Duo!

Bitman: Oh .... great.

S.Dragon: Hey, Rose, this place could use some sprucing up.

Rose: No kidding. If we're living here now, this place needs to be less of ..... a dump.

Waveman: It is a dump.

S.Dragon: That'll change, honey.

(Oilman stalks into the room)

Oilman: GET THIS OFF OF ME.

Torchman: Ahh. I see you've met Snail Bat.

S.Bat: *is happy*

Oilman: It's on my head. It's slimy and on my head.

Sharkman: Aw ..... I think it's cute!

Oilman: I've tried blowing it off with my Oil Stream, but it seems to like it!

Sharkman: You WHAT!?

S.Bat: *loves Oil*

Sharkman: How could you do that!?

Oilman: It won't come off! Get this thing off of me!

Sharkman: (gently lifts the Snail-Bat off Oilman) You come here now. See? All it needs is a loving touch you !@#$ing jerk!

Oilman: Whatever. Just keep it away from me. (Walks off.)

Sharkman: I won't let the big bully hurt you.

S.Bat: *clings to Sharkman*

Bitman: Hey, whose that over there? Some sort of .... Fishman?

Fishman: Fishman's the name, cars're my game. You got a car?

Bitman: Not really ....

Fishman: Then I'm really glad we met! Why I got a beaut in the other day ....

Bitman: I can't afford no car, Fishman.

Fishman: Hey, that's alright. My used vehicles are of the finest quality with he lowest prices around.

Bitman: I also don't need one.

Fishman: Geez, sir, I can't believe that.

Bitman: Will you just get out of my face?

Fishman: Not before I offer you the deal of a lifetime.

Bitman: Get that arm offa me.

Torchman: Next member ... step forth!

Gunner: Yo. I'm the gunner.

Torchman: .... is that all?

Gunner: .... what's that supposed to mean?

Bitman: Torch .... how many of these guys are left?

Torchman: Hm. Well .... we have Gunner.

Gunner: yo.

Torchman: Large and small weeds .... the bee ... Bart (of course) .... Fishman ..... the Snail Bat ...

S.Dragon; Don't forget us!

Rose: Yeah!

Torchman: .... right. So that makes nine members left to introduce.

Bitman: Okay, I'm outta here.

Mosquito: But I haven't been introduced yet!

Bitman: Yeah. I'm sure I'll get to beating you up soon enough.

Fly Trap: Hey!

Bitman: See ya. (Walks out).

Sharkman: Yeah, I'm gonna go find a spot for the Snail Bat.

S.Bat: *love*

Sharkman: Small ya later.

Anenemy: *Wiggles angrily*

Spider Snake: Hey! Don't you want to know who I am! Hey!!

Torchman: Never mind them, all of you.

Gator Duck: I've never been so insulted in all of my life!

Fishman: No kiddin'.

Fly Trap: I'm gonna bite their heads off in their sleep!

Rock: WOAH! WOAH! That's intense!

Clam: Is it my turn yet?

Blademan: This looks like a killer plan, Torch.

Torchman: You see it too? The potential in this group is limitless ....

(Two days later....)

Blademan: Hey! I wanna watch MXC! Gimme the remote!

Toxman: Noooo! CSI is on!

Fishman: CSI is the show for you! Thrill at the drama! Chill at the autopsies! Wince at the -

Blademan: *pulls out a Blade from his Blade Launcher* I wanna watch MXC!

Toxman: Hey! We're your guests! You can't do that!

Fishman: Seriously. Give it a chance. I'm sure you'll -

(At that moment the television cuts out)

Fishman: *!?*

(The angry team bursts in on Waveman who's shooing away the bee.)

Bee: Beee bee bee bee bee bee bee ~

Waveman: Aw, man. And what do you guys want?

Blademan: You didn't pay the cable bill, did you!?

Waveman: No! I've been too busy.

Fishman: Too busy to pay a simple bill? Have you tried an exclusive online deal with Executek?

Blademan: NO! And I don't wanna either.

Toxman: What's taken you so long! I want TV!!

Waveman: I have this bee buggin' me. And the Anenemy's been sliming up all my stuff!

Anenemy: *Wiggles disrespectfully*

Waveman: I don't know what that means .... but I don't like it.

Toxman: PAY THE DAMN BILL!

Waveman: If you want the cable bill, why don't you pay it?

Fishman: PAY THE DAMN BILL!

Waveman: You don't get to boss me around. I'm a senior member!

Blademan: PAY THE BILL, WAVE!

Fishman: PAY THE DAMN BILL!

Anenemy: *Wiggles disrespectfully*

Bee: Beee bee bee bee bee bee bee *STING!*

Waveman: AWWWWO! Alright, alright. Geez.

(Waveman gets out the door, mumbling to himself.)

(Bitman walks by)

Bitman: Has anyone seen Torch? I got a few words for him .....

Blademan: He's around somewhere.

Bitman: Yeah, yeah ....

(Bitman searches the shack and finds Torch. Torch is arguing with Spider Snake.)

Spider Snake: NEED FOOD!

Torchman: Then hunt! Isn't that what both of your parts ..... do?

Spider Snake: Is that an ethnic slur!

Torchman: What? NO!

Spider Snake: Because it is not appreciated!

Torchman: Aaaaagh.

Bitman: Torch. We need to talk.

Torchman: (Thank GOD) Sure, Bitman! (quickly moves Bitman out of the room).

Torchman: What news?

Bitman: Those flower guys are driving me nuts.

Torchman: They are part of our legion now. You must work things out with them.

Bitman: THEY ARE PISSING ME OFF!

Torchman: Bitman ..... we have to make some allowances for our new members. I didn't expect two giant flowers to really fit in here.

Bitman: They are redecorating my room.

Torchman: We've all had to make sacrifices.

Bitman: Uh-hunh. Yeah. Well, YOU try living with them. Actually ... lemme show ya.

(They walk to Bitman's room. It's covered in fresh flowers).

Rose: Bitman! Honey! Don't you love what we've done with your room.

S.Dragon: And, since you were so adamant about it being "manly", I put loads of African Violets all around your bed.

Torchman: Hm. I think I see the problem.

S.Dragon: What? The African Violet is the manliest of all flowers!

Bitman: I. Do. Not. Want. Flowers. In. My. Room.

Rose: OUR room, silly!

Bitman: GWAAAHHH!

Rose: Oh, dear. He's mad again, honey.

S.Dragon: Do you need a backrub?

Bitman: DAMN IT!

Torchman: *sniff sniff* Hey .... is that .... smoke?

(Torchman rushes to the area the smoke is coming from to find ....)

Torchman: SHARKMAN!

Sharkman: Torchie? Hey *cough cough*, what's up, bud?

Torchman: What is the meaning of this!?

Bitman: What the Hell's goin' on here!?

Sharkman: Nuthin'. Just getting .... a little high. *cough cough*

Torchman: What is the meaning of that!?

Bitman: ....

Sharkman: You know. *cough cough* *HACK*

Bitman: Awwww, man. You little idiot.

Torchman: What happened?

Bitman: .... "Large Weed"

Sharkman: Laaaaaaaarge Weeeeeeed! *HACK COUGH CHOKE*

Bitman: IT WASN'T THAT KIND OF WEED, YOU IDIOT!

Sharkman: Then why's the room spinnin'?

Bitman: It's called smoke inhalation! You poisoned yourself!

Torchman: .... what's Snail Bat doing on the floor.

Sharkman: .... gettin' a little high. *COUGH COUGH*

Bitman: It looks dead.

Sharkman: Naw. He's just high.

Bitman: Exactly how much of the Large Weed did you smoke?

Sharkman: Er .... all of it.

Torchman: WHAT!?

Bitman: *slaps forehead*

Sharkman: Well, the Small Weed wasn't doin' the trick so I figured the problem was not enough weed!

Torchman: YOU'VE SLAIN TWO OF OUR NUMBER!

Bitman: Three of our number. Snail bat's a goner too.

Torchman: THREE of our number.

Sharkman: .... naw. Naw, he's just high. Wake up, Snaily. Show 'em yer just high.

Bitman: So, what now fearless leader?

Torchman: ....

Sharkman: Snaily? Snaily???

Torchman: Our numbers are still legion. We attack our enemies on the morrow!

Sharkman: SNAILY!?

(The following day, the team meet outside the base. Bitman is discussing strategy with Torchman inside while the rest await outdoors.)

Sharkman: *sniff* Snaily ....

Waveman: I'm sorry to hear about your friend, Shark.

Sharkman: It was not cool. Aw ..... Snaily ....

Blademan: .... so, Snaily died?

Sharkman: Snnnnnaaaaaaiiiiilllyyyy!!!

Blademan: *hugs shark* there, there, bud. It's okay.

Oilman: Hh. So the little guy died?

Sharkman: He was *sniff* my best friend. We got high together. Swapped stories. It was special. It was all a blur, but it was special.

Oilman: I'm sorry to hear that.

Sharkman: .... thanks.

Oilman: Yeah. I would really have liked to see you murder your little friend.

Sharkman: WHAT!?

Blademan: Hey!

Oilman: He's a small animal .... and, unfortunately for him, he had to rely on Sharkman for guidance. It was a lost cause from the start.

Blademan: You're crossin' the line!

Oilman: Hey ..... I didn't kill the Snail Bat. That was his "best friend's" doing.

Sharkman: *breaks down in tears* Snaaaaaaaaiiiilllll~!

Waveman: Oh .... n-now you've got me started ..... *begins to weep*

Toxman: Aw, man. This is pathetic.

Spider Snake: You ssssssssaid it!

Blademan: Wh-what!?

Gunner: This pathetic crying's sickening!

Toxman: I cant believe you guys are in charge. Exactly how much did you get do before recruiting all of us!

Oilman: Hey, wait .... you're including me in that shot, aren't you?

Gunner: Hell yeah!

Oilman: You .... where do you people get off!?

Bart: Friends! Don't fight! Barity-Bart!

Gunner: Shut up!

Sharkman: Hey! You can't tell him to shut up! You shut up!

Spider Snake: Why don't you shut up!?

Rose: Oh ..... I can't take all this fighting!

S. Dragon: Can't we all just get along?

Gunner, Toxman, Spider Snake, Oilman, Sharkman, Blademan: NO!!

Mosquito: *Flies around scared*

Gator Duck: Aw, man .... they're really gonna go at it.

Anenemy: *Wiggles in excitement*

Clam: Aw, man ....

Bee: Beee bee bee bee bee bee bee ~

Fly Trap: Wait, what? I don't have any eyes! Someone .... what the Hell's going on!

Fishman: There's gonna be a fight!

Fly Trap: What!?

Toxman: Someone's gettin' their ass kicked!

Blademan: Better believe it!

Gunner: Time to fry....

Waveman: Careful .... Gunner's got a GUN!

(Meanwhile....)

Bitman: Torch, this plan is asinine.

Torchman: I am NOT an ass!

Bitman: What!? .... No. (Well, you are, but) what I'm getting at is that the 'ol "let's egg the Mech's base" just isn't gonna cut the mustard! Let's think of a better plan!

.....

Torchman: I've got it! We use our massive army to pull the small one - Topman - into a pyramid scheme! And at it's apex ..... is us! The Sinister Six! Fishman has the skills and our army will provide the necessarily convincing numbers to make this work ....

Bitman: *smacks forehead*

SFX: BU-BOOM!

SFX: B-dadadadadadadadadad

....

Bitman: What was that ...?

Torchman: .... It can't be anything good, that's for sure.

SFX: D-DOOM!

SFX: CRUNCH

Torchman: We'd better -

Bitman: Wait for it.

....

SFX: BA-BOOM!

SFX: DOOM!

SFX: CRASH!!!

Waveman: STOP IT!!! Oh, God, just STOP IT!!

Bitman: Okay, now we go.

(Bitman and Torchman exit the base to survey the damage.)

Torchman: What did you lunatics do!?

Blademan: Heh heh heh .... Hellz yeah! I may not be good from far off, but get close and you'd better watch out!

Sharkman: Dood! That was AWESOME! DOOD! Snaily! ..... I know yer lookin' down and smilin', Snaily!

Torchman: What happened?

Oilman: The newbies were asking for it.

Torchman: *turns to a weeping Waveman* What happened here?

Waveman: *sniff* It was terrible. Blade, Shark, and Oil had a fight with Gunner, Spider Snake, and Toxman. And .... and ...

Sharkman: We kicked their asses!

Blademan: Yeah!

Rose: Oh ..... ohhhhhh *weeps*

Torchman: Wow .... so, all this carnage .... and you have claimed victory.

Oilman: Wanna make somethin' of it?

Torchman: Not at all! I'm impressed!

Rose: *hugs Bitman* Ohhh, Bit! Snap Dragon got caught in the crossfire ..... it's dead!!!

Bitman: *flatly* What. A. Shame.

Rose: Now .... I'm all alone ....

Bitman: *flatly* What. A. Shame.

Torchman: Those of us who survive are the stronger for it, Rose. Now, everyone ... rally together! We have some fakes to bring down!

(And, so ..... a the Mech's base......)

Needlegal: What ..... are they doing?

Geminiman: it looks like they're ....

Torchman: Five, six, seven, eight! Who do we appreciate!

Gator Duck: Licensed Megaman games!

Torchman: What do we want?

Oilman: Recognition!

Torchman: When do we want it?

Clam: NOW!!!

Torchman: Hold your signs up proudly!

Bart: Bart! I have no damn hands! Bart!

Bitman: Here .... lemme staple it to your head.

Bart: WHAT!?

SFX: STAPLE-ED!

Bart: OWW! My .... BRAINS!

Bitman: There. Now yer helpin'.

Mosquito: *flies around in fear*

Anenemy: *Wiggles an obscene gesture*

Rock: What can I do .... I'm a rock?

Sharkman: I have an idea!

*Sharkman pick up the rock and hurls it through one of the Mech's windows!*

Rock: Aiiiiieeeeeee ~*

Geminiman: Hey! You're gonna pay for that!

Oilman: Hah! Just you try, Mechs!

Waveman: And now we've lost the rock too ....

Fishman: I've never felt so alive!

Nautilus: I feel like we can do anything!

Torchman: We can! In this democracy our numbers are our strength! Hold your signs up high and protest .... protest until your heart beats through your chest!

From behind: *ahem*

Torchman: None can stop our words! None can stop this action! Through peaceful protest we can change the world!

From behind: *ahem*

Torchman: For we are the many! And the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few .... or the one! Together -

From behind: *ahem*

*Torchman strikes the foe behind him with his Torch Arm*

Torchman: Do not interrupt my genius!

All: *gasp!*

....

Oilman: That was a cop, genius.

(Later .... in the abandoned outskirts of Mosteropolis, the Six finally find a chance to rest their weary legs....)

Blademan: They ..... were all over us!

Waveman: They're probably still looking for us.

Torchman: True, but we have eluded them .... for now.

Waveman: Too bad everyone else got hauled away. They were especially mean to poor Fishman.

Bitman: Heh heh heh ....

Sharkman: Aw, man .... Bart looked really mad at us.

Bitman: Yeah.

Sharkman: You think he hates us now?

Bitman: Well ... at least now the feeling's mutual.

Sharkman: What? No! Aw, dood ....

Oilman: Just think of it this way. Most of those rejects were mutants, so they won't be dissected at robot jail. Likely they'll be put in some ... menagerie. And Bart? Well .... Metools are often reused after a bit of reprogramming.

Sharkman: Awwww.....

Torchman: Still, let us observe the news on my AM-band radio. Surely our efforts have amounted to something ...?

 (Torch turns on the radio and the six lean in to listen)

Radio Guy: And .... in the lighter side of the news .... What if someone staged a protest .... and nobody cared?

Blademan: What!?

Radio Guy: Seemed some team called the "Sinister Sux" protested in front of the Mechanical Maniacs' base (the Ark) earlier today .... and the results ...?

(the radio plays a clip)

Waveman: Run!!!

Fly Trap: WHERE!? I'm BLIND! I use my vines to smell my way around! I - ARRGH!

??: I GOT THIS ONE!

Waveman: They got Fly Trap!

Torchman: Every .... EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF! ABANDON PROTEST!

??: IT'S A FISHMAN!!!

Fishman: Hey!

??: KILL IT!

Fishman: WAIT! I only want to sell you life insurance!

Bart: Bart! Wait for me!

Torchman: EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF!

(The clip ends)

Radio Guy: .... it's amazing. I wish you guys could see this footage. Someone from the 'Maniacs commented on it with a note saying, "these guys will never, ever, EVER, be considered the Megaman 3 team or the real -

(Torchman hurls the radio onto the ground in anger.)

Sharkman: This bites. We get no respect!

Bitman: Still, this coulda ended worse. I mean .... we still got each other.

Waveman: Great.

Torchman: That's true, Bit! Forget Fishman, Gunner, Clam .... and all the rest. We don't need an army. We have each other. It's always been us against the world and the world quaked in fear. Today we tried reason. And reason failed!

Sharkman: Damn reason. I wanna kick it's ass!

Torchman: Yes, damn reason. Damn it straight to Hell! Our next attack will ignore reason, logic, and all other such folly! None of it has served us before and we were foolish to think it would this time. We must stick to what works .... and we'll stick to it in classic Sinister Style! For we are the one, true Megaman 3 team! We are the Sinister Six!

 

The End.