N00bs

By: Torchman

Narrator: It's evening in the Wearhouse district of Monsteropolis.  The Wily Rescue Force is planning yet another attack on Monsteropolis ....

Multiman: So what's yer plan, Doc? Overwhealm and destry?

Expressman: That's always your plan!

Multiman: It's the only plan worth doing.

Expressman: It didn't work the first time, and it won't work a second time.

Doc Robot: All stop fighting! All will get along.

Expressman: .... right.

Multiman: Well .... you're the bos. I just think a crushing attack is what works.

Barrageman: Unit Barrageman agrees.

Doc Robot: And Doc Robot sees the point! Doc Robot has constructed a brilliant plan!

Expressman: Hh. Well, as long as it isn't the "let's split up and take over eight worlds" crap we usually do ....

Doc Robot: Better plan! Master will be so impressed!

Doc Robot: Follow Doc Robot.

(Doc Robot leads the Force deeper into the building .....)

Expressman: That ....!

Multiman: Gamma!

Doc Robot: Indeed. The giant robot master worked on with Doctor Light. We will use it to crush all who oppose us.

Expressman: Er ..... you do remember those "Mechanical Maniacs" guys are traitors, right? And that this thing'll be scrap after one hit with the Top Spin?

Barrageman: Unit Barrageman sees logistical flaw in Doc Robot's strategy.

Doc Robot: Doc Robot has thought of that! Doc Robot has fixed flaw! Now there is a more secure cover over the top of Gamma. And there shall be no steps to lead to the top. Therefor the weak area is covered.

Expressman: .... Hell ..... that's a good plan.

Multiman: But how'd you get the elements for Gamma? Reports said the 'Mechs spent forever trying to get all the parts together one time and they still couldn't do it. The old Doc Robot had to do it for 'em!

Doc Robot: Same way old-me did. Ebay. And the use of credit card fraud to scam gullible buisnesses out of their rare elements.

Expressman: Hah hah! Yeah! With this we'll crush Doc Light and take over the world.

(Creaks and groans are heard as the robot begins to activate.)

Expressman: What is that!?

Barrageman: Is unit Gamma supposed to do that?

Doc Robot: Only when we are INSIDE it!

Expressman: HEY!! What the HELL is up there!?

Voice: We are!

....

Multiman: And who the Hell are you?

Voice: What!? You mean you don't recognise us?

Doc Robot: No.

Multiman: Use the speakers! Don't just yell. We're ..... way down here!

Voice (through speakers): Testing! Testing! One ..... two ...

Multiman: We can hear you!

Voice: And do you still not recognsie me?

Expressman: No we don't!

Torchman: I'm Torchman!!

Expressman: WHAT!?

Oilman: Gamma now belongs to the Sinister Six.

Sharkman: Believe it!

Multiman: Didn't you guys disband?

Barrageman: And weren't units "Sinister Six" based on Megaman 1?

Expressman: And weren't you good guys?

Torchman: LIES, ALL!

Waveman: Evenb fellow villains don't know who we are.

Multiman: Get out of Gamma!

Torchman: No! Gamma now belongs to us.

Blademan: Yeah!

Waveman: You're just as likely to fail as we are.

Expressman: We have a plan you morons!

Torchman: The only plan is to destroy those pesky Mechs!

Expressman: What?

Bitman: We can do that plan just as well as you guys.

Expressman: You idiots.

Multiman: We're off to destroy Megaman and Doctor Light!

.....

Blademan: Do they still matter?

Torchman: D - D - *sputter*!

Bitman: What!?

Blademan: Hell yeah, they still matter!

Expressman: Not the way I see it.

Doc Robot: Once Light and Mega fall, the Mechs will fall as well.

Torchman: They will fall only when we Sixlets kill them!

Doc Robot: Just like you have before?

Oilman: Like you've done any better!

Multiman: We don't give a CRAP about the Mechs. We're Wily's special task force. Just a couple days agoI rebuilt Skull Castle after that long-haired creep destroyed it and Wily's goons inside.

Barrageman: Unit Barrageman has strolen much to fund Wily's insane schemes.

Doc Robot: Doc Robot has installed a virus in Megalopolis' computo core to delete all parking tickets Master has incurred.

Expressman: And Hell. You KNOW nobody can outrace me. When Wily has a parcen he wants delivered, you think he goes to Quickman? HELL NO. I got that covered.

Torchman: You're just a bunch of lackeys!

Expressman: And YOUR pathetic nobodies who live in a dump and tyalk abotu how great they are all the time without actually doing anything.

Torchman: HEY!!

Waveman: I thought you didn't know who we were.

Expressman: Oh, I recognise you losers now. I can't believe I forgot about how stupid you guys are.

Torchman: HEY!

Bitman: At least we were in an actual Megaman game!

Expressman: Yeah, a crappy game. With no number two. Who the Hell has ever heard of a Megaman 3 without a Megaman two?

Multiman: And you're all based off older Robot Masters. We're origional.

Barrageman: And Units Wily Rescue Force are drawn much better too.

Torchman: HEY!

Bitman: Well, look who'se throwing attitude at the guys in the GIANT FREAKIN' ROBOT!

Sharkman: Crush him, Torch! Crush their guts out!

Torchman: Yes, YES!

Doc Robot: Let us kick some ass, Rescue Force!

Expressman: YEAH!

??: WAIT!!

All: ????

Expressman: And now who the Hell are YOU losers!?

Cyberman: WE are the Dark Six!

Expressman: The who???

Clawman: Don't make us repeat ourselves!

Gemman: Only we get to kill the Sinister Six!

Sharkman: What the HELL!? HEY! Didn't we kick your ass already!?

Ninjaman: No way!

Sharkman: Hell, yes! We kicked it so hard your mom felt it! In Jersey!

Ninjaman: SHUT UP!

Sharkman: IN JERSEY!! LOL!!

Ninjaman: What the Hell was that!?

Omegaman: It sounded like some kind of squeak.

Torchman: All you you, OUT of our path!

Ultimateman: No way! We're kicking your asses!

Expressman: And we'll help! I dunno who you guys are, but there's more than enough of these idiots for us to share!

Torchman: Dark Six .... you LOSERS! Get a life!

Ultimateman: We must avenge our humiliation against you!

Torchman: We don't give a crap about you! Stop obsessing over us! We have Mechs to kill!

Gemman: Too many words! They sting head like wet fire!!!

Cyberman: Yeah .... it's time to kick a little ass!

Oilman: Oh, this is just pathetic.

(Oilman grabs the controls from Torch and uses them to life Gamma's mighty foot.)

Omegaman: What!?

Cyberman: Wait! That's not fair!

Ninjaman: Fight us like men! Like -

*STOMP!!!!!*

(The Dark Six are flattened)

Oilman: There. Six less pathetic losers in the world.

Expressman: Shit! Doc Robot .... what are that thing's weaknesses!

Doc Robot: Doc Robot builds things without flw! Gamma has no weaknesses!

Expressman: WHAT!?

Sharkman: KILL THE NOOBS! KILL THE NOOBS!

Oilman: THAT'S what I'm going to do, you annoying idiot!

Sharkman: Hey!

Torchman: No! This is my plan! I must destroy the newbies!

Barrageman: They appear to be fighting......

Multiman: Should we just ..... ?

Doc Robot: Let us "beat feet".

Expressman: Right. But first ....

(several minutes later.)

Torchman: And so, we have come to a compimise. We ALL hold the lever and we ALL direct Gamma to destroy the newbies.

Waveman: I don't really want to destroy anything ...

Blademan: Shut up Waveman.

Sharkman: hey .... they're gone!

Bitman: Well no shit. Who woulda just waited through all that?

Sharkman: THEY !@#$ING LEFT!! THOSE CHICKENS!

Torchman: Well ..... we still have Gamma. And now .... the WORLD WILL BE OURS!

....

Torchman: So ..... anyone figured out the controls yet?

Oilman: I only got the thing to stomp. Walking seems to be a little harder.

(Gamma stomps in place as Oilman tries out the controls.)

Torchman: Well, hurry up! We don't have all day!

Bitman: So much fer this plan.

Sharkman: This bites. We get no respect!

Bitman: Still, this coulda ended worse. We do have Gamma here.

Waveman: Not that we know how to use him.

Bitman: Okay, you know what?

(Bitman picks Waveman up and throws him from Gamma.)

Waveman: Gwaaaaahhhhhhh ~ *THUDD*

Sharkman: hah hah hah hah hah! Dood! That was classic!

Torchman: Well .... don't worry team. *struggles with Gamma's controls* I'll figure this thing out ..... eventually. I mean..... it's gotta be a little like driving a car right?

Oilman: *smacks head*

Torchman: At any rate, we now have a huge advantage in our war against the Mechs. And those obsessive losers the Dark Six are finally destroyed! Soon ..... ALL WILL FALL INTO OUR HANDS!!!!!!!!

Elsewhere ...... looking from a hidden camera feed .....

B. Torchman: Excellent. It looks like Red has taken the bait. Very soon .... my plan will fall into place! For I am ...... BIZARRO TORCHMAN BLUE!!!! Future ruler of the universe!!!!

coming soon ......