Tran as Armored Armadillo. Cyros as Boomer Kuwanger.
Jissy as Chill Penguin. Johnny as Flame Mammoth
Centaurman as Launch Octopus (you read that right). Geoff as Spark Mandrill
Laten as Sting Chameleon. Storm Eagle as himself. Naturally
(On February 9, 2004, while almost everyone's favorite MMX team is enjoying the warm glow of the TV, a portal appears outside their base and a figure, whose identity is cunningly concealed by a pantyhose on his head steps out...)
Notsigma: I love how this pantyhose feels. It makes my head feel silky-smooth. No, baby-ass smooth..
TV: Coming next, on Pox: clips of Paycheck, with famous shmucks!
Ben Affleck: I uncovered the conspiracy! The government's going to drop an asteroid the size of Texas on John Kerry's house! Don't those fools know they'll destroy the world?
Jay: Hey man, if you want, Silent Bob and I got two space shuttles, a bad-ass truck with a drill, and some nukes you can use to stop the hemorrhoid!
Silent Bob: ...
Chill Penguin: This movie sucks. I'm going to the kitchen; there's grub with my name on it.
Notsigma: Well, look at what the cat dragged in... (pulls out a book bound by flesh and starts softly chanting a spell that takes effect on Jissy...)
Chill Penguin: AHHHHHHHH! (drops to the ground)
Armored Armadillo: Jissy!
(Most of the team rushes into the kitchen to find Chill Penguin collapsed on the floor).
Armored Armadillo: What the hell? Jissy, are you okay?
Storm Eagle: Pipe down.. I can't hear you over the TV.
Launch Octopus: It's just the commercials.
Storm Eagle: It's better than what's on.
Armored Armadillo: Missing the point here! C'mon, Jissy! Speak to me!
(Jissy's eyes fly open, turning a dull, milky-white.
Chill Penguin: Boo.
Flame Mammoth: Wha?
(the group recoils as Chill Penguin transforms into a cloudy-eyed, haggard, decomposing creature floating in midair)
Chill Penguin: You shall die for your insolence! (pokes Spark in the eye)
Spark Mandrill: (starts twitching) Ow! What was that for??
Flame Mammoth: C'mon, Jissy! I know you didn't want watch this. But that's no reason for you to beat us up!
Launch Octopus: She's floating in the air, aged into a shrill decomposing horror, speaking in a possessed voice. I don't think she's quite herself.
Flame Mammoth: You don't know! She could be more herself than usual!
Storm Eagle: Still trying to watch the commercials, here.
Chill Penguin: DEAD BY DAWN!! DEAD BY DAWN!!
(Jissy swoops down, grabs Launch, socks him in the gut, and tosses him at Boomer)
Armored Armadillo: Damnit, Jissy! I don't want to hurt you!
Chill Penguin: Fine, don't.
Notsigma: Hoho! This is going better than I hoped! Now for their trained monkey... *chants*
Spark Mandrill: (starts twitching) What the? Now what??
(Spark starts convulsing as a second head sprouts from his shoulder)
2nd Spark Head: Awoooo!!
Sting Chameleon: Oh no...DEAR GOD NO! ANYTHING BUT THIS! ANYTHING BUT TWO OF THEM!!
Spark Mandrill: Hey!! I didn't say anything nasty about you when YOU had a second head growing out of you yesterday!
2nd Spark Head: You're such a gentleman! (punches Spark senselessly) Now stop hitting yourself!
Boomer Kuwanger: Ughhh...Storm, Tran, and I will try and knock sense into Jissy! You guys take care of Spark!
Launch Octopus: Hang on, guys. I got just the tools for the occasion. I'll be back in just a minute. (wanders outside).
Boomer Kuwanger: Sorry, Jissy. (throws a boomerang cutter).
Sting Chameleon: Feel free to jump in anytime, Storm!
Storm Eagle: I took care of Jissy last time she flipped out. It's somebody else's turn-Oh wait. Movie's back on.
(Storm Eagle knocks Jissy around with a tornado)
Storm Eagle: Had enough? What's got into you?
Chill Penguin: I'll tear your souls apart for that! (charges through Cyros, puts Storm in a headlock and punches him repeatedly.)
Storm Eagle: Well, I tried. Commercials are back on. (sits back down).
Boomer Kuwanger: We could use your help here!
Storm Eagle: It's still four and a half of you against one and a half of them. I don't see why I need to waste my time on this. You should have this.
Flame Mammoth: You lazy bum!
Storm Eagle: Sigh. (spits out an egg that hatches into four eaglets). That should give you better numbers.
(The eagles all fly out through a window. They do nothing.)
Sting Chameleon: Thanks a lot.
Storm Eagle: Sigh. Yes, you'll remember this moment as the time I turned the time. Now if you have time to scold me, you have time to deal with the possessed monster.
Chill Penguin: EXACTLY!! (swoops down, and gives Johnny a noogie).
2nd Spark Head: Heheheheh!!(forcefully shoves several fingers up Spark's nose)Haahahahaha!!!
Spark Mandrill: AGGGHH! Knock it off!
(Spark Mandrill tries to shove his fingers up the other head's nose. But ends up sticking them up his own nose.)
Spark Mandrill: AGGGHH! You jerk!!
2nd Spark Head: That was brilliant.
Sting Chameleon: That's enough out of you.
2nd Spark Head: Oooh! That looks like spaghetti! (eats through Sting's tongue)
Sting Chameleon: AAAAHH!!
Launch Octopus: (jumps through a window wielding lots and lots of chainsaws) Spit that out. You don't know where it's been.
Armored Armadillo: Where the hell did he get all of those?! Does he have a collection we don't know about?!
Sting Chameleon: Uh duh nuh, buh uh scuh uh uhn nuh!*
*: I don't know, but I'm scared of Launch, now!
(Launch slices at Spark with a chain saw, splitting them into two fully-formed reploids!)
Flame Mammoth: ...What the?? What are you??
Evil Spark: (innocently) Oh, I'm Evil Spark Mandrill. Wanna ride the lightning, goody-two-shoes?
(Evil Spark blasts electric sparks at the group . But Flame douses Evil Spark with oil and shoots a fire wave at him)
Evil Spark: Uh-oh! (throws Chill in front of him)
(Johnny's fireball hits Jissy, igniting her instantly).
Chill Penguin: AAAAHHH!!!! You stupid twit! We're on the same team!
Evil Spark: ...Oh. Meh.
Armored Armadillo: You monster!! We'll kill you!
(Tran fires a stream of rolling shields, but Evil Spark easily evades them and counters with electric sparks that knock out Tran.)
Launch Octopus: You're mine!!
(Launch lays into Evil Spark with his chainsaws, carving him up like a Thanksgiving turkey!
SPLAHHHK!! PLOSSH!! FLOSSH!!
Evil Spark: AHH!! AHHHH!! AHHHHHHHHH!! You animal!!
Boomer Kuwanger: You know, you didn't HAVE TO carve him up all over the couch! We watch TV on that thing too, you know!
Launch Octopus: (turns to glare at Cyros).
Boomer Kuwanger: ...It's just a suggestion...
Launch Octopus: You. (points to Spark) Help me get rid of the body.
Spark Mandrill: ...Yes sir...
(Spark and Launch roll bits and pieces of the body up into newspapers and drag them into the bathroom. The sounds of a chainsaw cutting through metal, crumpling of newspaper and toilet flushing are heard for several minutes)
Storm Eagle: ...Well, thank you for keeping it down during the commercials. It was very considerate of you.
Armored Armadillo: (waking up) ...Ugh...Yeah, what are teammates for, right? Anyway, are we sure what Spark and Launch are doing is good for the toilet?
Sting Chameleon: You shuh see whah mahnchih uhn mamhuh do to id afteh duh huh Mehicah...
*You should see what Mandrill and Mammoth do to it after they've had Mexican. And also, I like to wear lady's underwear.
Sting Chameleon: Wuh?! Duh nuh whuh uh suhd!!*
*: And I eat from the garbage and drink from the toilet!
Sting Chameleon: Stuh duh!*
Yeah, learn how to speak for yourself again, and you can pick your own lines. In the meantime...
*: I love Barbara Streisand! I'm going to see her live in July!
Sting Chameleon: Fuckuh!
Boomer Kuwanger: This isn't important! Why hasn't anyone put out Jissy yet?!
Storm Eagle: Because we're waiting for the commercials to be over. (waits for a few seconds) Oh, movie's back on. (douses Jissy with a fire extinguisher.) Done.
Chill Penguin: Ugh...what happened?
Armored Armadillo: Well, you were possessed by an evil spirit, and you attacked us...
Chill Penguin: Awwww!! I missed the fun part is what you're saying?
Armored Armadillo: ...Mandrill gave birth to himself...
Chill Penguin: ...Was it worse than the time Laten gave birth to himself?
Sting Chameleon: Hey!!
Boomer Kuwanger: Not quite. But this one was messier. Also, Launch is a psycho, and you may want to check your dresser and make sure Laten hasn't been wearing any of your underwear.
Sting Chameleon: I hay you aww...*
*: And I'd do it again! Mwahahahaa!
Storm Eagle: You left out the most important part. I saved your life, even though my favorite twinkies commercial was on. You're welcome. Sigh, the things I do for you.
Notsigma: Hmmm...They're more resilient than I took them for. Looks like I'll have to bring out the big guns. (chants softly)
Flame Mammoth: Hey, do you hear something?
Armored Armadillo: Guys, there's a weirdo with a pantyhose on his head reading from a book bound in human flesh.
Boomer Kuwanger: Mandrill, go see who that is.
Spark Mandrill: Right! (jumps through a window and tackles Notsigma) Gotcha! Let's see who you really are...(yanks the pantyhose off revealing...)
Anubis Necromancess III: Gahh!! Curse you feeble-minded throwbacks!
Chill Penguin: Anubis Necromancess III? You're the one who turned me into a She-bitch?!
Flame Mammoth: What the? He didn't look anything like that a minute ago!
Storm Eagle: Sure he did! I see the resemblance. Naturally, of course.
Armored Armadillo: Me too.
Flame Mammoth: What?? How?!
Storm Eagle: Sigh. Let me explain this to you on a level you can understand.
(Storm Eagle picks up the discarded pantyhose and puts it on.)
Storm Eagle: See?
Spark Mandrill: Ah! That evil wizard guy is back! (punches Storm Eagle, sending him flying into the wall.)
Boomer Kuwanger: ...Damnit, Spark...
Flame Mammoth: ...I still don't see it.
Anubis Necromancess III: Enough!! (blasts the group with dark energy) And to think you blithering, idiotic throwbacks got the best of me and minions!
Armored Armadillo: Alright, fine. What's your beef?
Anubis Necromancess III: It's a long and complicated story: I'm following orders. See, in my time, my lord's reputation has been tarnished by one of your documented adventures...
Spark Mandrill: Wait, you're from the future...?
Flame Mammoth: Huh? Which adventure was that?
(The group flashes back to...
X: Zero, I don't think it'll fit...
Zero: Sure it will, honey, let me just stretch it... ((see episode one))
Storm Eagle: You'll have to narrow it down. It could be any one of them. It's rather rude to make me flashback on all your misadventures for your convenience.
Chill Penguin: Wait a minute! Your master is just a copy of X, not the real one! We didn't insinuate anything between him and Zero!
Boomer Kuwanger: ...Unless there's a copy of Zero running around in the future, too...Let's not rule anything out...
Spark Mandrill: How come you guys know so much about the future??
Anubis Necromancess III: It matters not! All of Neo Arcadia still believed your slander all the same! Lord X's reputation will never recover. But now I shall have retribution for my lord!
Spark Mandrill: Wait, if you're from the future, shouldn't you have gone back BEFORE we made X and Zero look like gay lovers? I mean, you're too late to stop anything at this point!
Anubis Necromancess III: ....!!
(Anubis Necromancess seethes with rage as he glares at Mandrill.)
Boomer Kuwanger: ...Ohhhh...Outsmarted by Spark. That's got to sting.
Spark Mandrill: And another thing! How can you be Anubis Necromancess III?! What happened to Anubis Necromancess I and II? Three doesn't come before one and two! If Sesame Street says it, it must be true!!
Anubis Necromancess III: I will not be humiliated by the likes of you! You're all dead in my time! Rise up my minions!
(Anubis recites passages from his tome as two half-decayed figures burst out of the ground and step forward to reveal themselves as...)
XT Gemini: Death to the f$#@!&^ mortals!
XT Proto: First these donkey-#$@!@ then the world! (makes a series gestures that are only appropriate when invoking Sicilian death curses)
Anubis Necromancess III: Ugh...I don't like your attitudes. To the abyss with thee! (smites the XTs with his staff)
XT Gemini: We'll be back, mother#@*$%!
Anubis Necromancess III: I hope not. Let me try this again. (reads from his book) Niktu, Verata, Claktu!
(all of the decomposing members from Cossack's Soldiers burst from the ground)
Dive Man: Get them! (unleashes dive missiles at Cyros.)
Pharaoh Man: I'll tear yer duodenums out! (throws a pharaoh shot at Sting)
Boomer Kuwanger: (dodges the missiles with his speed) AGH! Someone get that book away from him!
Flame Mammoth: (dodges a ring boomerang) I'm on him!
(As Spark fries Ring Man, Flame fires at Anubis. But Anubis throws Jissy into the shot.)
Chill Penguin: AGGGHHH!! Not again!!
Flame Mammoth: ...Sorry Jissy...
Anubis Necromancess III: Pathetic. And predictable.
Armored Armadillo: You stinking coward!
(Tran tucks into a ball and bounces off the other zombies, colliding into Necromancess, knocking the book out of his hands).
Anubis Necromancess III: NO! The Necronomicon!
Spark Mandrill: (throws Skull Man into Anubis for good measure) Get the book!
(Sting gives a thumbs to Spark and dodges a drill bomb and impales CS Toad Man on his tail. He then blends in with surroundings and races toward the book)
Anubis Necromancess III: So you think you can hide using that primitive cloaking device?
(Anubis casts another spell, this one animating Laten's own severed tongue. The tongue slithers to life and suddenly wraps itself around Laten's neck).
Sting Chameleon: AAAAHHK!! DIS ISN'T FAIR! AHHHKK*
*: Oh yes! That feels soooo good!! Make it tighter!
Sting Chameleon: I DIDN' NEED A ANSLATN!! AHHHHHHK! AHHHHKK!
Spark Mandrill: (douses Jissy with fire extinguisher) Hang in there, Laten! (gets clobbered by a dust crusher).
Boomer Kuwanger: Okay, we're making this way too hard on ourselves. Launch: Kill.
Launch Octopus: (carves his way out the wall) YAAAARGGGHH!!!
(Launch throws a chainsaw, embedding it into Drillman's head.
Launch Octopus: Yer gonna die, freak!!
FLOPP! BLOPP! BLUPP!
Armored Armadillo: What's with the sound effects? Now they're just getting silly.
Flame Mammoth: Do you want to tell him that?
Armored Armadillo: Not to his face.
(Anubis lays in pieces at Launch's feet).
Anubis Necromancess III: Heh, you're too late. I've already awoken the Army of the Dead. 'Tis a vast army...comprised of all the Mega Man teams that have died... It's just a matter of time before they come for you in full force...
Spark Mandrill: You know when a good time to unleash that army would've been? BEFORE we made X and Zero into laughingstocks!
Anubis Necromancess III: Grrrrrrr....
Spark Mandrill: Or for that matter, why did you wait to unleash it now?! If you unleashed it while we were still watching TV, you'd have won by now! Now we're gonna be ready for it!
Anubis Necromancess III: ...I don't need this.... (Impales himself on his staff).
Boomer Kuwanger: ...Seriously, Spark...
Spark Mandrill: I'm not letting this bozo push us around! He screwed up his own plot for revenge! He can't even count to three for crying out loud!
Launch Octopus: If we're counting anything, it's bodies I'm leaving behind. (standing on Anubis's mutilated corpse) Alright, which one of you is next?
Pharaoh Man: Let's get out of here before that whacko gets us too!
Dive Man: We'll back! And in greater numbers!
(The remaining undead robots make a hasty retreat, including Laten's tongue.)
Sting Chameleon: Anks foh coming to my ressue!
Launch Octopus: Go ahead and run! You've died once! You'll die again! And when you die, you'll pray that I'll make it quick!
Armored Armadillo: More importantly, we got Necomancess's book. I'll see if I can find anything in here that'll return things to normal. Hey! This thing's written in Sumerian...and with blood...ewww...
Flame Mammoth: Can anyone read this crap?
Spark Mandrill: Well, I think I have a book that can help me read Sumerian.
Chill Penguin: ...I don't think your coloring books are going to do us much good here.
Spark Mandrill: Yes, they will! I mean, it's totally a real book!
Armored Armadillo: Where did you even get a book like that...?
Spark Mandrill: The Lie-Berry, stupid! See, I needed to use the bathroom, and they were out of toilet paper. So I just grabbed the first book I could off the shelf. And when I ripped the first page out, they kicked me out and told me to keep it.
Flame Mammoth: And it happened to be a complete Sumerian-to-English dictionary??
Spark Mandrill: It was in a brown cover!
Boomer Kuwanger: ...That all sounds plausible. For you anyway. The point is, we can translate it. Theoretically. Let's get it inside. We don't have much time.
(Storm Eagle crawls out of the hole in the wall he was punched through, clutching his head).
Storm Eagle: Uggghhh...Forgive me for being late. It was not my intention. Mandrill's punch REALLY knocked-
Spark Mandrill: Ahhhh!! The evil wizard's back! Get him!
(Mandrill punches Storm Eagle through wall again. Hard.)
Boomer Kuwanger: ...Spark...!
Chill Penguin: It's his own fault for not taking the pantyhose off first.
Flame Mammoth: How's it going, Spark?
Spark Mandrill: (reading Sumerian for Real Dumbasses) I need more time, this is a hard language. I mean, "chapterus oneus"? What the hell is that?!
Sting Chameleon: Fuh Gud's sake! Jus led one ob us read id!
Storm Eagle: (nursing two black eyes) Yes. Let the guy with no tongue try to recite any spells from it. That'll do the trick.
Sting Chameleon: Asshoe!
Chill Penguin: Shouldn't have we fixed Laten by now?
Armored Armadillo: I'm not going to fix him. This is hilarious.
Boomer Kuwanger: Still, he has a point. We should let somebody who can read above a third grade level read this.
Spark Mandrill: Hey! You said I needed to get better at reading at some point! Besides it's my book! Get your own!
Sting Chameleon: Um ooing ad id obah hah shodah. Huh dodawwee cuhwuhed aww obah id.
Armored Armadillo: Uhhhh...What..?
Sting Chameleon: Um ooing ad id obah hah shodah. Huh dodawwee cuhwuhed aww obah id!!*
Chill Penguin: ...I think you lost us, Laten.
Storm Eagle: He said, "I'm looking at it over his shoulder. He totally colored all over it."
Sting Chameleon: Dank you!
Storm Eagle: He also said, "I still wet the bed from time to time."
Sting Chameleon: Fuhg you!
Chill Penguin: Boy, your speech impediment has its ups and downs, Laten.
Armored Armadillo: Say, In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida.
Sting Chameleon: Grrrrr! (Laten tries to punch Tran, but only succeeds in hitting his hand against his thick armor. Laten hops around in place, clutching his hand in pain.
Sting Chameleon: Mubbhafuggingpahhsbuhketahhssswappingpahssuking-!
Boomer Kuwanger: Seriously, guys. We need a game plan here. Our only way of translating this thing is now covered in doodles of smiling suns, farm animals and-(looks down at Spark's book)...What is that, a duck??
Chill Penguin: Considering Spark was using it for toilet paper, I'm glad that's ALL he put in there.
Flame Mammoth: Ah, who needs a plan? Just let Launch hack them all up with chainsaws. It's worked so far.
(the doorbell rings)
Flame Mammoth: I'll get it.
(Flame opens the door only to be face-to-face with a rotting army led by a stitched-together Evil Spark Mandrill. Several of them are holding Launch's chainsaws, and his hockey mask.)
Flame Mammoth: .......
(Johnny nonchalantly closes the door and throws the deadbolt. The doorbell rings again. And Johnny goes to answer it, opening the door.)
Evil Spark Mandrill: (kicks Flame in the groin) Tear this place apart! Death to the flesh! (jumps onto the ceiling)
(the army charges into the base)
Storm Eagle: Damnit, Johnny! Even Mandrill isn't that stupid!
Flame Mammoth: I ordered a pizza! I thought it arrived!
Chill Penguin: I'm amazed it kept them out at all. Instead of, you know...Going through one of the holes Spark and Launch have made at this point.
Burnerman: Good idea!
(Burnerman charges through a hole in the wall, straight at Jissy. But Tran barrels into him, knocking him aside).
Armored Armadillo: Not this time!
Chill Penguin: Phew! Thanks, Tran! (picks off X's Gladiator Plantman).
Armored Armadillo: (guards against Burnerman's wave burner) It's what I do.
Burnerman: Grrrr...! This is going nowhere! I'll just go torch that purple eagle guy!
Storm Eagle: Go ahead and try.
(Burnerman charges Storm Eagle, but he blasts Burnerman with a storm tornado, sending him flying into...)
Chill Penguin: AAAAHHH!!!! SERIOUSLY?? SERIOUSLY?!!
Storm Eagle: ...I'll admit...I didn't quite think that one through.
Chill Penguin: NO SHIT!!
Flame Mammoth: ...Even Mandrill isn't that stupid.
Storm Eagle: (spits eaglets at X Team's Storm Eagle) Oh, shut up.
(The eaglets soar right past the undead Storm Eagle and fly out through another window. They do nothing).
Storm Eagle: ...Arrogant ingrates.
Boomer Kuwanger: Just like their daddy-AGGH!
(Cyros gets clobbered by X's Gladiators' Knightman, who's crawling on the ground after him).
Knight Man from X's Gladiators: Ar, I'll crush yer medulla oblongata!
Boomer Kuwanger: (decapitates Knight Man) There's too many of them! (slammed by star crashes from Decepticon Force's Star Man)
Armored Armadillo: (blocks a shot from Great Eight's Plant Man) Or, HEY! One of us goes and just takes the book from Mandrill and read it ourselves! (dodges a slash claw)
Sting Chameleon: At's whuh I'be been saying-ACK!!
(Laten gets strangled by his own tongue again.)
Sting Chameleon: Ack!! Bullshih! Acccckkk! BULLSHIH!
Eighth Kingdom's Sword Man: You don't have time for that, I'm afraid.
Chill Penguin: OKAY! FUCK THIS!! (slides into X's Gladiator's Blizzardman, while still on fire).
Spark Mandrill: What the hell is this word? Oh, "A". Man, this wouldn't be so hard if I wasn't illiterate.
Evil Spark: (drops from the ceiling on top of Mandrill) Howdy!
Spark Mandrill: Alright, I'm taking you down once and for all! (fires an arc of electricity)
Evil Spark: (dodges) Yeah, and maybe you're a Chinese jet pilot. (slices Spark with his chainsaw)
Spark Mandrill: ARGGH! I'm not through yet! (snaps Evil Spark's chainsaw arm backwards)
Evil Spark: (bitch-slaps Spark) You dumbass. You can't beat me; I'm identical to you in every way!
Spark Mandrill: Really? Hmmm...Then the only way to beat you is to beat me...?
Evil Spark: Wow, I never thought of it like that...But yeah. You make a good point...
Spark Mandrill: Well in that case, (Mandrill punches himself). Take that! (punches himself again). And this! (punches himself again). Oh, you crafty bastard!
Evil Spark: (punches himself) You'll never keep me from the book! (punches himself again) It's as good as mine! (starts to punch himself again). Wait, what am I doing?
(Evil Spark grabs the Necronomicon).
Evil Spark: Now that I have the book, do you think I should invade some piss ant country or raise taxes? We don't we ask it? (Opens the book). What the hell?! It's written in Sumerian?! I can't read that crap! Can one of you guys read this?
Pharaoh Man: Nope.
Eighth Kingdom's Sword Man: Uh-uh.
X-Hunters' Violen: Hey, I barely know what's going on right now.
Dive Man: Why are you asking me? I don't even have any eyes. I feel like Sam Neil from "Event Horizon" over here!
Evil Spark: So nobody here can READ this book? We came all this way for nothing?
Eighth Kingdom's Sword Man: ...No, wait! The monkey has book on how to translate it. If you don't mind that he drew a pictures all over it of a happy...(looks at the page) Frog?? Is that a frog?
Dive Man: Why are you showing this to the guy with no eyes, Metalman?
Eighth Kingdom's Sword Man: I'm Swordman!
Dive Man: Whoever!
(As they argue, Johnny shoots a fireball at Spark's Sumerian to English dictionary)
Flame Mammoth: There. Now it doesn't matter what he drew.
Armored Armadillo: Uh...Johnny...?
Flame Mammoth: What??
(Tran points at Jissy, who's on fire. Again).
Chill Penguin: AGGGGGGGHHH!! I'VE GOT BURNS ON TOP OF MY BURNS!!
Flame Mammoth: Oh, come on! I wasn't even aiming at you!
Dust Man from Cossack's Creations: Yeah, I pushed her into it. It was funny.
Flame Mammoth: Ugh!!
(Johnny kicks a burning Jissy into Spark's book, incinerating it instantly.
Flame Mammoth: Problem solved.
Chill Penguin: MY FIFTH DEGREE BURNS SAY OTHERWISE!!
Burnerman: Oh yeah? We still outnumber the shit out of you. We can still yank your spines out of your ass for the sheer hell of it. Gotta blow off some steam somehow.
Flame Mammoth: ...I didn't think of that...
SPLORT! SPUNK!! SPUSSHSHH!
(Launch drops down on top of Burnerman and slices him up).
Launch Octopus: Remember me, dirtbags?!
Cossack's Soldiers' Pharaoh Man: Oh, come on, you stupid X-Force Magma Dragoon wannabe! We killed you!!
Launch Octopus: No. You got lucky last time. It won't happen this time.
Eighth Kingdom's Sword Man: And what makes you think that.
Launch Octopus: Simple. Last time, I was only relying on my chainsaws. This time, I'm not.
(Launch charges into the horde, firing homing torpedoes, explosive fish, and of course, swinging his chainsaws. All the goofy sound effects in the world can't begin to describe the wrath and carnage left in his wake).
Boomer Kuwanger: Wow. Look at him go. It's like watching the Tasmanian Devil.
Flame Mammoth: I told you that was the only plan we needed, but nobody listens to me!
Storm Eagle: And you think that's about to change?
(Meanwhile, the undead Megaman teams keep dropping like flies as they're either dismembered or blown to bits).
Swordman: We'll give you an A for effort. But do you realize how many dead Megaman teams there are?! You're going to run out of gas for your saws before you run out of undead Megaman teams!
Launch Octopus: (latches his tentacles onto Swordman and saps his energy) Shut up and send in more pigs for me to kill!
Evil Spark: Okay! I don't need this crap! I'm going to go watch "Return of the King"! (throws down the Necronomicon and storms out the base).
Cossack's Soldiers' Pharaoh Man: Wait for us!
Diveman: What, are we bailing? I can't see a thing!
Violen: Yep! We're bailing!
(What's left of the undead army all flees before Launch Octopus can grind them into hamburgers. However...).
Sting Chameleon: ACCKK!! Huhp! HUHP!! Ackk!!
Laten's possessed tongue keeps strangling him, as one end of it pokes him in the eye!)
Sting Chameleon: AGGHHH!! DAT'S IT!!
(Laten grabs the tip of his tongue that went into his eye and bites it off).
Sting Chameleon: FUHK YOU! FUHK YOU!!
(Inch by inch, Laten eats his own tongue as he pulls it off his neck, inch by inch.)
Sting Chameleon: Anks for nubbing, ya jerks!!
Storm Eagle: Don't understand what you're saying. Don't care.
(The chaos has finally died down, as the exhausted team collapses on the couch)
Armored Armadillo: ...That went well.
Storm Eagle: Aside from the holes in the walls, windows, and dismembered bodies all over the place, yes. I'd say this was a red letter day for us.
Boomer Kuwanger: ...I'd also point out all our furniture is covered in blood and gore. But I don't want to get on Launch's bad side.
Launch Octopus: (drops his chainsaws and mask) And don't forget the toilet. That's in rough shape, too.
Storm Eagle: What, did you break it flushing dead bodies?
Launch Octopus: (rolling dead bodies in newspapers). Well, not yet, actually. But I think it will be when we're done with it. Right, Spark?
Spark Mandrill: If I have to. But one more thing...
(Spark Mandrill walks up to Johnny and punches him in the face)
Flame Mammoth: What was that for??
Spark Mandrill: You owe me a new coloring book, asshole!
(Spark Mandrill starts dragging dead bodies into the bathroom for Launch Octopus to flush.)
Armored Armadillo: ...Okay, sure. The base is a mess. But then again, it always was. At least the TV still works.
Boomer Kuwanger: ...Then all isn't lost, yet. What's on tonight?
Chill Penguin: I'M STILL ON FIRE YOU ASSHOLES!
Sting Chameleon: Uhn I stuhh dun hab a tuhn. Boo hoo.
(The doorbell rings, and Johnny goes to answer it.
Pizza Delivery Guy: Hey, I got one large, meat-lovers pizza for a "Johnny".
Flame Mammoth: That's me.
Spark Mandrill: No!! You're going to let the zombies back in here, again!
(Spark runs out of the bathroom and punches out the delivery guy)
Flame Mammoth: Damnit, Spark! Now what am I going to do for dinner?
Boomer Kuwanger: Anything but that. You and Spark put the toilet under enough strain as it is.
Flame Mammoth: I told you, it's not us!
Spark Mandrill: Yeah!
Storm Eagle: Oh sure, of course not. (thinking) Man, I hope they don't figure out it was me...
(meanwhile, in a dingy theatre)
Evil Spark: I'll be back for them, if it's the last thing I'll ever do!
Violen: Shhhh! I can't hear Gimli and Legolas keep score!
Evil Spark: Like we can tell anyway. The rainwater running from the ceiling's drowning out the sound anyway.
Cossack's Soldiers' Pharaoh Man: (holding a pair binoculars) Aragorn looks like a bigger speck with these...
Violen: Lucky you; he looks like a hanging duct from where I am.
Diveman: Serves you all right. How many times do I have to say I have no eyes to watch this movie, you jackasses?!
(suddenly, the ceiling starts to rumble)
Evil Spark: What was that?
(suddenly, tiles and vents drop from the ceiling, crushing all the zombies save one...)
Dust Man from Cossack's Creations: This has got to be the last time I see a movie at Sony Theatre...
Tran as Armored Armadillo.
Cyros as Boomer Kuwanger and Zombie Knightman.
Jissy as Chill Penguin.
Johnny as Flame Mammoth
Leatherface/Jason Vorhees as Launch Octopus
Geoff and Evil Spark as Spark Mandrill
Ahen as Sing Chahmeeeon.
Storm Eagle as himself. Because nobody else is good enough for him.