By Spark Man.exe
(Our Story begins one year after the Nebula incident with Cold Man.exe and his new operator Guilter in the Elec Town Square...)
Cold Man.exe: (reading the news boards) Hey! Did you know that 70% of the hookers in ACDC town are aliens from space?
Cold Man.exe: Boards don't lie. Also says here that Dick Cheney's actually an escaped robot built by Lord Wily and Mr. Matc-
Normal Navi: (runs past Cold Man) NOOOO! Please!! Spare me!
Morally Impaired Navi: You're mine bucko! Gimme your dough!
???: Not so fast, evil-doer!
Morally Impaired Navi: Ah damnit! It's Mega Man!!
Mega Man: (jacks in) That's right! Battle routine set!
Morally Impaired Navi: Ah, screw this! (runs off)
Lan: YAYYY! WE WONNN! I'LL BRING TWO OF MY FRIENDS! YAYY! (runs in circles)
Normal Navi 2: Help!! There are viruses running amok in Park 7!
Normal Navi 3: There's trouble in the amusement park! The Tin Man's head is spinning really fast again! If it spins any faster, the whole park could be leveled!
Mega Man: Aw, son of a bitch! Can't you helpless dumbasses handle some of these by yourselves? Yeesh, I can't be everywhere at once! (storms off)
Guilter: He's right.
Cold Man.exe: I know. I can't stand seeing Mega Man being the only one fighting this evil!
Guilter: Someone should be doing the same! I mean, people would pay serious money for other people to do it!
Cold Man.exe: Yeah! We could make a killing doing this! We gotta set up a mercenary syndicate before someone hones in on our turf!
Guilter: And even though Mega Man does this crap for free, like he said, he can't be everywhere at once!
:If you're starting a mercenary group, we'd like to join in...
Cold Man.exe: Who are you?
Burner Man.exe: I am Burner Man.exe and this is Video Man.exe.
Marihto: And I'm Marihto. I've been operating Burner Man.exe ever since Atsuki torched himself.
Video Man.exe: Darmagician is my new manager. Viddy and I haven't been on speaking terms since last year and now I'm going solo! You will talk to Steelberg about my part, right?
Darmagician: What? Oh yeah sure, five times already.
Guilter: Excellent! But do you guys have any ideas where we can get some more members?
Marihto: I think we could find some able bodies at the Den Dome.
Guilter: Den Dome it is! Jack out, everyone!
(The groups jacks out and heads for Den Dome. Upon arriving...)
Pharon: Ahhh!! Get away from me ya crazy bitch!
Lilly: Gimme back my navi ya liddle bwat! *hic* (quickly staggers after him holding a can of Duff)
Darmagician: (taps Lilly) What's going here?
Lilly: (decks Darmagican) Haha! Finawwy cawght up wit ya! Gimme my PET! *burp* (grabs Darmagician)
Guilter: Dude, what's wrong with her?
Pharon: I don't know! I was just trying to get something to eat and her navi asked me to take him with me! Next thing we know, she's chasing after me!
Lilly: (Drops Darmagician) Ya liarsh! Wind Man would neber shay dat! *BRAAPP!*(staggers)
Wind Man.exe: Actually, Lilly. We really need to talk.
Lilly: Dish isn't anoder won of dose inderventionsh ish it? I told ya, I akshidentally drank da rish wine again! *URP!*
Wind Man.exe: Lilly, for a year now, I've seen you accidentally go to the Kwik-E-Mart and accidentally buy rice wine, which people incidentally call Duff six packs.
Lilly: Dat happensh to people aww da time ya big sisshy!
Wind Man.exe: No, it doesn't. Not accidentally anyway.
Lilly: Well, it happensh to me all da time! Lishten! I don't habe a probwem, and I'll bwoody well tell ya when I'be-(passes out).
Pharon: ...Okay...Say, who are you guys?
Guilter: We're a forming mercenary group looking for a few recruits. What do you say?
Pharon: Hell yeah! My big bro's always bragging about the Acid Hackers or whatever they're called. This'll put him in his place!
Wind Man.exe: Well I'm not going back to Scissors Island with her. I guess I'll sign on with Pharon.
Marihto: Great! That makes four of us! With our navis, we'll be-
Terry: YOW! Excuse me! (runs past)
Nathan: (runs past) Come back here! (grabs Terry and pins him to the wall) I know you screwed up my navi! It never polka danced for an entire battle until you futzed with it!
Terry: Alright, fine! I put a bug in its customizer program and entered a lockout code in the pet to keep you from fixing it. Happy?! (struggles)
Nathan: (tightens grip) I will be once you give me the code to unlock it.
Terry: The match is over, why not? The first digit is the number codes in the microwave program third to the right.
Nathan: Oh, you've got to be kidding me. Just tell me the damn code!
Terry: You want your navi fixed or not? Look, if you don't know then just go find the answer, and meet me on the net and then we can do the other six riddles. Okay?
Nathan: SIX RIDDLES?! I OUGHTA- Wait...Oh alright, you win. (lets him go)
Terry: Don't take too long.
Nathan: I won't. (breaks his pet on Terry's noggin and swipes Spark Man.exe as he falls unconscious). Looks like the tables have turned, Sparky.
Spark Man.exe: Not really. I couldn't stand the little punk. He's always giving me an earful on how it's my fault that his plans go to crap. Pfft. Good riddance, I say.
Nathan: Oh. All's well that ends well. (plops Spark Man.exe in his pocket and turns toward the others) Oh sorry. I didn't see you guys there. What's up? My name's Nathan.
Guilter: Not much. I'm Guilter. I'm trying to track down a few volunteers.
Nathan: What for?
Guilter: Well, I just can't stand seeing Mega Man being the only ones fighting evil for free when we could be doing the same for huge sums of cash. Interested?
Nathan: Sure, I'll join. Could always use more dough for college. But we should check the Undernet. I bet we could scare up a few members there.
(Later in the Undernet...)
Cold Man.exe: I'm telling you guys, we should've taken a left back there!
Spark Man.exe: A left where?! Do you have any damn idea how many lefts there are here?!
Cold Man.exe: The left in Undernet 3, right between the exits to Undernets 4 and 7!
Burner Man.exe: Which one, the one upstairs and to the second left, third right, and the eighth middle, or the one that's downstairs, past the fifth conveyor belt on the sixth right?
Cold Man.exe: The left one upstairs behind the conveyor belt on the eighth right downstairs...or was it the one by the netdealer on the third cul-de-sac on the tenth right upstairs?
Video Man.exe: Like hell! I'm positive that if we hook the seventh right downstairs by the third creepy navi on the middle, and down the twentieth right, and the up the stairs second to the left we'll get to the netsquare!
Wind Man.exe: Face it guys! None of us have idea where we need to go!
Spark Man.exe: Hey, what's going on over there?
(The group goes around a corner and sees two navis conversing, one regular navi and the other a vampire-like navi perched on a coffin)
Normal Navi's operator: ...so how about it? Are you in or not?
Shade Man.exe: Samuel, you do drive a hard bargain. That was one of your finer points before our family fell out.
Sam: That's not a yes.
Shade Man.exe: Relax, it's not a no either. I'm curious as to what they're capable of.
Sam: When do you want to begin?
Shade Man.exe: Now. (turns to the group) May I help you gentlemen? You seem to be lost.
Video Man.exe: Uh...hi. We're looking to recruit a few navis for our new free-lance syndicate, and-
Shade Man.exe: -And you're wondering if Sam and I'd be interested? Of course!
Spark Man.exe: Wait, why are you so anxious to join?
Shade Man.exe: Shade Man: Why not? Besides, I need something to do ever since Django disapeared.
Spark Man.exe: (eyes narrow) I don't buy it. What were you and Sam talking about? Spill the beans!
Shade Man.exe: You're a kind navi. I offer you my alliance, and you treat me like a common thief. If I meant you harm, your lifeless husks would be on the ground by now. And you think I would plot against my comrades while they're in listening distance? Yes, you're such a kind, gentle navi.
Spark Man.exe: Sorry. It just sounded a little fishy, that's all.
Shade Man.exe: Excellent! Now then, I think-
(Before Shade Man can finish, a barrage of bullets that slam into his chest, though none of them do any damage).
Shade Man.exe: Now what was that for?
Burner Man.exe: What hell's going on?
(Burner Man's question goes unanswered as a beam is fired from the sky, blasting all the navis).
Spark Man.exe: Grrr... (cloaks himself)
Wind Man.exe: That son of a-! (creates gusts of wind.)
Video Man.exe: Incoming! (dodges a grenade.)
(suddenly, an army-green navi with a large gun is blown out of a hidden area by a large electrical blast)
Spark Man.exe: (reappears) What's the big idea, man?!
Search Man.exe: Damn you! You're compromising my mission! Shade Man.exe must be apprehended at all costs!
Spark Man.exe: Oh, it's just him you're after? Say is there a reward on this guy?
Search Man.exe: (blasts Spark Man with a satellite beam) Do not interfere! Leave now or risk deletion! (tries to stand up but gets blown back by the wind)
Cold Man.exe: Speak for yourself.
(Burner.exe and Cold Man.exe box Search Man.exe in with a barrage of ice walls and burners)
Search Man.exe: You think this pathetic prison can hold me? (shoots the ice)
Video Man.exe: Sure. (plays back footage of Search Man using his grenades and satellite beams, devastating him).
Search Man.exe: Argh! (falls to his knees, but tries to stand up) My...mission..mustn't...fail...
????: That's enough, Search. It seems we underestimated you guys. Who are all of you?
Burner Man.exe: ...I don't know guys. What do you think, should we tell 'em?
Shade Man.exe: I see no harm. We're a forming mercenary syndicate looking for some skilled, powerful navis to recruit. In other words, navis like you.
Shade Man.exe: Look, there's no hard feelings. No damage was done. Why not join us? Wh-whheeeee!
????: You know what? I'll take you up on your offer. Count us in.
Search Man.exe: But Tyler, our mission-
Shade Man.exe: Relax, you've got nothing to worry about. I've had my share of fresh meat for a while.
Tyler: Yeah. Besides, this is the most fun I've had in months. Work 'round here as an Official has been more work than play lately.
Cold Man.exe: Sweet, that makes seven of us. That should tide us over for now. I think we've had enough fun for one day. (jacks out along with everyone else except...)
Spark Man.exe: Speaking of hard feelings, think you can let I said earlier while we were attacked slide?
Shade Man.exe: Oh, you're so kind and compassionate! (jacks out along with Spark Man)
(Later, the mercenaries are having some grub at their base...)
Guilter: You know guys, we need handle to go by. What should we call ourselves?
Sam: How about Darklight Mercenaries?
Nathan: Sounds good! Let's use that!
Guilter: Okay, Darklight Mercenaries it is!
Marihto: Wow that didn't take long at all!
Guilter: Second order of business: I say we split up into different parts of the world.
Nathan: What? Why? Doesn't that defeat the purpose of our team?
Guilter: No it doesn't. If we split up into the world, our services will be more readily available for anyone outside of Electopia. And don't worry, if a job comes along, I'll relay it whoever's in that region!
Nathan: I dunno...
Darmagican: Dibs on Netopia!
Pharon: Dibs on Oceopia!
Sam: Shade and I'll take Yumland.
Marihto: Netfrica, all the way!
Search Man.exe: Tyler and I still have to stay at NAXA. We still have to maintain our cover as officials.
Nathan: Whatever, Spark and I are still staying in Electopia. I got classes here to attend.
Guilter: Sharo's fine with me.
Video Man.exe: Splendid! I just put up an advert for us. We should have a request any day now.
Pharon: Cool. I'm all for having more loose cash.
Marihto: Yeah, cause this Mac and cheese mix Burner and I bought is the last of our loose cash.
Nathan: Slow down. Chew your food.