Name: Falco aka Codename: Falcovsleon20
Region: cannot specify. (Meet at Creamland)
Offered Price: 56,500 Zenny. Or you blow it all for the Mystery Data. Your choice.
Job Description: You'll have to talk to our group leader, Sean in Circuitopia, Creamland but basically, one of the Navis of our team has been kidnapped by a strange navi. We don't know who's he working for or what he wants, heck we don't even know his name. But he's fought us once before and whuped us but good. We need some proffessionals to aid us. One more thing, do NOT I repeat do NOT DELETE THE PERPETRAITOR! He must be brought back to our HQ alive. Don't ask why or you'll be docked pay.
Personnel Requested: I need three of you. One who's stealthy, and one who's tricky to fight, prefferably Videoman and Searchman. Coldman if he's available
NOTE: We will not cover travel pay. And keep any and all Darkchip addicts on your team away from this assignment. Or ELSE!
*In the three story building that the Mercs call HQ...Conveniently two minutes away from the airport*
Guilter: Righto. I'll take this job. It's not the best paying job, BUT we have a good chance of finding non-standard chips. I've called upon services of a friend to assist us in the assignment.
*Nathan arrives at the HQ*
Nathan: *lights up a cigarette* Oh, you got the job too? Awesome.
Guilter: What about Tyler and Darmagician?
Nathan: *smokes* I fowarded it to Darmagician and Videoman but Darm's out on another job, and I couldn't get a hold of Tyler and Searchman for some damn reason. That damn Fed can be so hard to get a hold of sometimes.
Guilter: Damnit! That leaves us short!
Nathan: *puts the cigarette out on the table* Not quite. Sparkman can be stealthy with his invisibility, and a sneaky fighter to boot, so I figured we'd hone in on Search's turf for this job. His loss.
Guilter: It'll have to do. Might as well book the flight.
*Meanwhile, elsewhere. Some weird red sphere of a Navi, carrying an angel-like Navi, contacts his superior through a video screen. The screen appears with a hooded executioner type guy, cloaked in shadow on screen.*
: What is it this time Gravityman? Can't you see I'm making my daily slaughtering of innocent Navis? You know how I hate interuptions you dumbassed bucket o' bolts.
Gravityman: Request forgiveness. Gravityman has captured specified target. Subject: Iris. *Lifts Iris in front of screen*
: Well it looks like you aren't a waste of diskspace after all. And what of those Navis from the arcade?
Gravityman: All targets currently incapacitated.
: Well, I was hoping for them to be dead but beggers can't be choosers, I suppose. Anything else?
Gravityman: Also report Good News and Bad News. Subject Bad News: Enemy has hired outside help.
: And Subject Good News?
Gravityman: Communication Lines to 5 different countries including Sharo have been cut.
: Brilliant! Keep up the good work and you'll get you that A.I. upgrade you want so badly.
Gravityman: Hooray! Gravityman signing off. *floats away*
Iris: You aren't gonna get away with this you freak! Whatever it is you plan on doing!
: If I had a dime for everytime I've heard a damsel or victim say that to me, I'd be killing people in style. Even if they hired "outside help", they can't possibly strong enough to destroy any servants of the great EXECUTEMAN! And now to laugh evilly for a really damn long time: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
*Later at Creamland, a boy in a green trippy vest and neon visor, waits by the Circuitopia National Airport*
Boy: DAMNIT! It's been 11 hours now. WHERE THE HELL ARE THOSE MERCENARY BASTARDS?!
Brightman: Check it out, Falco!
Nathan: *runs out of the airport, frantically lighting a cig* If you ever book a non-smoking flight again, kiss your vodka stash goodbye.
Falco: Oh there you guys are! What kept you!?
Guilter: Layovers. And lots of them. Anyway, why don't we get things started?
*At the same time, Nathan, Guilter and Falco head to the Transmitters HQ in Circuitopia, located secretly at an arcade of the same name. Upon entering, they're greeted by Sean Obihiro whilst a blond-haired girl wearing a blue dress with stars walks in*
Sean: Oh, so you guys DIDN'T skip town! I can at least check that one off the list.
Nathan: *smokes* Don't go busting our balls about this. A deal's a deal. It's not our style to leave our clients holding the bag.
Coldman: *whispers* Hey Guilter, isn't that the kid that ran that net mafia?
Guilter: *whipsers* Let's not bring that up right now. *turns to Sean* Anything new about this job?
Smartass: Haley here claimed that she saw Bass on her watch last night. I say she was tripping on sludge from the cocoa machine.
Haley: Damnit, Chet! It's not my fault Falco sold the vending machine to pay for these guys! But it wasn't Bass.exe! It looked like some hooded navi with a skull for a lantern!
Sean: Quiet, both of you. Here's the deal. We don't know if this black, skull-lanterned navi Haley saw has anything to do with this yet but let's not worry about that now. 3 weeks ago, A strange navi named Gravityman attacked our base and kidnapped one of our navis.
Freezeman: The navi is named Iris. She helps operate the OS of the secret main computer. Without her, the system is weakened. I'm betting she was kidnapped because she's an angel.
Sparkman: An angel? Let me be the judge of that.
Chet: No, sparked-ass, he means literally. She's got badass light powers that let her erode Darkchips, cleanse Darksouls, and heal severe wounds.
Guilter: If she's all that powerful then how did Gravityman kidnap her?
Haley: Gravityman lacks the intelligence to be corrupted by evil and Iris isn't that much of a fighter on her own. Also Gravityman has some sort "thing" attached underneath him that lets him nullify all elemental damage using Gravity powered sheilds alone.
Freezeman: Haley's Navi Starman became gravely injured and I only just recovered from my wounds. Chet's Navi Vulcanman was not so fortunate.
Brightman: *snaps fingers* I was able to beat that junk heap with my dazzling moves, stylish cunning and...
Falco: No you didn't you retard. You just shot Bright Beam after Bright Beam at him that reflected off his shields and wrecked everything within the area. Then you wussed out, placed that tracer on him, and logged your sorry ass out of there.
Sean: And thanks to that tracer, we've been tailing him. Since one of you is missing right now, we'll improvise. Of course I planned on you being aided by one of us to begin with.. Anyway, since everyone else is incapacitated...
Nathan: What is your navi too lazy or something?
Freezeman: I have a bad enough rep as is. I'd be taking too big a risk if I appear with you in plain sight.
Sean: As I was saying, you'll be aided by Falco and Brightman in this mission. Your first task is to get clues from Gravity's last known appearance at a bar 30 miles out of town.
Guilter: A bar? I like this job already. *runs outside*
Haley: Be careful out there. That bar is known for running an illegal Netalley Arena that specialises in thugs who fight with Darkchips and take bets on the winners.
Sean: *hands them Chet's PET* Here. If can you interrogate him at the bar, great. But I'd rather you bring him back with this. Vulcanman won't need it anymore.
Sparkman: Let's get going then. I want to see this Iris chick for myself.
Guilter: *pulls up in the mercs' beat-up rented car, honking the horn loudly* What the hell is keeping you guys?! If you don't hurry, I'll miss happy hour...and our lead, Freezeman or whoever it was.
*Nathan and Falco climb into the car, Guilter takes off, going well above the speed limit, and cutting people off left and right. Unbeknowst to the three of them, a blue pick-up truck follows a few cars back. After driving his sixth car off the road, they stop at the bar and the three pile out of the car. The pick-up truck also parks at the bar shortly afterwards*
Guilter: Ah it's like I died and went to heaven. But they realized it wasn't my time, so they sent me to a bar.
Falco: Well don't forget, we're here to track down Gravityman and Iris so don't-
Bouncer: *cuts the trio off* Whoa, there. I haven't seen you chumps around. You guys do have darkchips right?
Guilter: Huh? No, but c'mon! All we want is a good stiff drink!
Bouncer: *slips on some brass knuckles* Yeah, not without some darkchips you're not.
*reluctantly, the three back away and go back towards the car*
Sparkman: Guilter you dumb drunk, when someone asks you if you have any darkchips, you say, "YES!"
Coldman: Oh shut up. He would've checked us anyway, and I don't have any. I doubt either of you two do either.
Nathan: *spots a car parking behind the building* Naw, but I know where to get some.
*Nathan runs up to the parked car. As the brown-haired gangly driver steps out, Nathan pummels him into sweet unconsciousness. After he falls, Nathan searches the stranger's pockets, and grabs his darkchips and his wallet before reuniting with the group*
Falco: *takes a darkchip* I dunno, part of me feels kinda dirty taking this...
Guilter: *takes a darkchip* Tough luck. No trained ape's gonna stop me from getting in that bar.
*with the darkchips in tow, the trio enter the bar. The bar is more of a dingy, stuffy warehouse lit by a few dim flickering florescent lights. Rusted ducts are running in and out of the ceiling, but some are either dangling from a few cables or have fallen on the floor. Several corroded metal tables are strewn about the bar, covered by spilled beer mugs, passed out patrons, or both. The sober patrons sit entranced by the large telescreen in the far end of the room showing a heelnavi being deleted by a large, sphere-shaped navi.*
Gravityman: Enemy target: destroyed.
Announcer: Are you all gonna let this freak walk off with all your hard-earned zenny and darkchips? Who else wants to wager a few darkchips to show him who's boss 'round here?
Guilter: *walks over away from the group, thinking* Hmmmm...Maybe my "Friend" would like to try this out...
*Guilter opens up a small metal case and pulls out a PET*
PET: Last Login was 2 year ago.
Guilter:...2 years? It's been that long?
: Yeah. Feels like I just woke up.
Guilter: Any abnormalty's in the system?
: No. Not really. Just a bit of gibbing.
Guilter: Great. Now you ready for a warm-up?
*Falco is at the counter sitting on a bar stool*
Falco: Hey barkeep, hand a me a roman coke and make it quick.
Barkeep: Yeah, I'll get to it.
*Falco turns towards the patron next to him, a large bearded man with dark hair*
Falco: Hey, do you know-
*Before Falco can finish, the man passes out and the barkeep hands Falco a roman coke*
Falco: Thanks, and uh do you happen know of any strange sphrerical Navis by the name of Gravityman?
Barkeep: Well we're about to have another match soon so why don't stick around and find out for yourself.
Falco: Uh, thanks. *takes a sip then spits it out, coughing* They call this a roman coke? It tastes like a Diet Pepsi that sat on a radiator for two hours then watered-down with toilet water.
Nathan: *stuffs the now-unconscious drunkard's wallet in his pocket* Yo, have you seen Guilter?
*before Falco can answer, intercom starts up*
Announcer: All right you drunk-off-your-ass maggots! The next back-alley fight is about to begin. Get ready to place your wagers as are current reigning champion, Gravityman...
Falco: Looks like we found our man. Now to...
Nathan: *pockets another wallet* Let's just wait and see if this battle at least wears him down. That'll make fighting the bastard easier.
Falco: You're right. But I just feel sorry for the sap who has to fight him.
Announcer: ...goes up against this guy....uh what was your name again?
Nathan: Oh great.
Falco: Don't worry, even with that elemental guard thingy on him, Gravityman does poorly against certain obstacles.
Nathan: *smokes* Oh, THIS is the special reason why you chose Coldman? He does have that Ice Wall move.
Brightman: Uhhhhh...sure let's go with that.
*Guilter plugs in*
Gravityman: Target identified. Activating asskicking mode.
Falco: Waitaminute. That doesn't look like...oh god damnit.
Guilter: Ready to haul ass?
Guilter: *plugs in Chet's empty PET on the other side of the machine* THEN GO FOR IT!
Falco: When on Earth did Guilter get HIM?
Sparkman: Goddamnit, now we gotta give this asshole a cut of the loot. Well, maybe not if he loses...GO GRAVITYMAN!
Gravityman: Executing battle subroutines.
*Gravityman fires off a powerful dark blast of gravitational energy at Assassin.exe. But just as the shot connects, Assassin.exe disappears and is replaced by a flimsy doll resembling him. Assassin then silently drops from the ceiling and hurls three shurikens at Gravityman, all three hitting their target*
Gravityman: Damage sustained. Continuing battle subroutines.
*Gravityman launches another Gravity Hold, this time hitting Assasin dead on. Gravityman then fires Hold after Hold, leaving little room for Assasin to escape.*
Sparkman: Yeah Gravityman, that's how you do it!
Falco: Will you stop that? You just know how it's gonna end up: that Assassin guy's going to turn the tables somehow and delete the bastard. And remember what will happen if he's not brought back alive?
Nathan: You never told us what'll happen if he's dead. Our team's whole "don't ask, don't tell" policy, remember?
Brightman: *whispering* Psst. Falco, maybe it's not a good idea to tell them that if Gravityman dies, they get stripped completely of their pay.
Sparkman: What did you say you retarded lightbulb?
Brightman: Uh...check it out?
*Meanwhile, Gravityman is still pummelling Assasin with Gravity Holds.*
Guilter: This outghta help.
*Guilter Slots In Recov chips and a Guardian. Gravityman strikes the statue with a Hold acciendentally, summoning a bolt of lightning*
Gravityman: Elemental Guard Drive Activate.
*A field of distored space covers Gravityman's body making the lightning bounce off of him*
Assassin: What the hell?!
Nathan: *puts out his cig* Just what the hell was that all about?
Falco: That's what I was trying to tell you. See that gauge thing on his underside? That's what he seem to call his Elemental Guard Drive. That's the thing that screwed over our elemental attacks in the past.
Sparkman: Ah, I'm sure he'll be fine. If he's good enough to take some of my pay, he's good enough to handle a beach ball.
*Meanwhile, Assassin manuevers through the next batch of gravity holds and attacks with a muramasa, delivering a massive blow before leaping to safety and using a recover 300. However, Gravityman remains...standing and reverses Assassin's gravity, sending him to the ceiling*
Falco: Oh forget it! I'll go in and finish this myself.
*Falco sprints onto the stage, ignoring the occassional angry drunken shout to get off the stage*
Guilter: What the hell do you think you're doing?
Falco: I'm bailing your ass out of here and stalling for more time since Nathan won't. *jacks in through a maintance port* Jack-In Brightman Execute!
Brightman: Check it out! *snaps fingers* Remember me?
*Gravityman lowers Assassin's gravitational field and raises another one that entraps Brightman.*
Gravityman: Rules state one fight at a time. Standby for later pummelling you freak.
Announcer: Hang on a minute. You know what? This is shaping up to be one helluva fight. Why not let that putzy navi back our current contestant up? Makes it more interesting and fair. Whaddaya say?
Audience Member 1: Oh yeah. I want payback for what Gravityman did to my navi!
Audience Member 2: *shrugs* Sure. Whatever floats your boat.
Lilly: NO! I bet on Gravity, ya asshwipe!
Announcer: Well those are the only spectators that haven't passed out yet. Let him fight!
Gravityman: Affirmative. Releasing obnoxious navi. *realeases Brightman*
Falco: Alright, let's give him our secret weapon.
Brightman: Are you sure this is a good time?
Falco: As good as it's gonna get. Let's get it started.
*Falco slots-in Prism chip. Brightman throws it at Gravityman only to see him lift it into the air with a gravitational field.*
Falco: Right time for the second chip in the secret weapon.
*Before he could slot it in, Falco notices that Brightman is disco dancing.*
Falco: Brightman, may I ask what the hell you are doing?
Brightman: Check it out! It's our secret weapon: The disco-dance of confusion attack!
Falco: NOT THAT SECRET WEAPON YOU RETARD!!
Sparkman: THAT's a secret weapon?
Assassin: Some help you are. Now where were we? *draws a pistol* This'd better work...
*Assassin aims for the head of Gravityman and instead ricochets a shot that hits his ass. He then draws an AK-47-like gun and shoots several pressure points on Gravityman's body*
Assassin: Now for my Double flip routine. *flips behind Gravityman and shoots a few more times straight into Gravityman's back. It doesn't delete him, he does look worse for wear*
Gravityman: Damage critical. Activating final collapse sub-routine.
*Assassin.exe suddenly finds it harder and harder to move. Both navis also notice that their HP are decreasing, slow at first, but eventually faster*
Brightman: Aww, he's not doing what I think he's doing is he?
Assassin: Yeah he is. He's increasing the gravity around us to crush us all alive.
*Gravityman unleashes another string of gravity holds, more at Brightman than Assassin.exe since Bright hasn't taken as much damage. Even though Brightman deflects a few off his shields, he doesn't deflect them all and takes heavy damage. Assassin.exe also has trouble dodging most of the attacks and hardly gets a chance to attack*
Nathan: *shrugs and smokes* Hey, what do you want me to do? All the jack-in ports are taken up.
Guilter: *dissconnects the blank PET* Problem solved. Now get in there.
Gravityman: Gravityman calculates 90% chance of failure for enemy. *fires off more gravity holds at the now-paralyzed navis*
Sparkman: *jacks in front of Assassin and Bright* Ugh, I really can't do much since this guy's shields-*spots the barrage of gravity holds* CRAP!
*Sparkman tries to activate his hollow thunder and run, but the gravity keeps him in place as all the attacks tear through him. By the time the last of the holds go through him, he's left with almost no HP*
Brightman: *snaps fingers* Way to take one for the team, Spark!
Sparkman: Oh, I hope you two'll rot in Murkland for this.
*Sparkman uses a Magbolt 3 Nathan downloaded. Even though it fizzles off Gravityman's shield, it does yank him towards the three navis*
Sparkman: *stabs Gravityman with an electrode* Alright, I've done my bit. Any more, and we'll lose him. *jacks out*
*Nathan reconnects the blank PET as Guilter downloads a Guts Impact chip and Assassin punches Brightman's prism. Even with the high gravity, it still sends it flying far enough to bonk Gravityman into deletion*
Gravityman: Critical system failure. Files co-rrupted. Error. Er-rror...er...rrorrrrr...
*Gravityman explodes in deletion, but his data remains are whisked into the PET intact*
Falco: *disconnects the PET* Got him! He's a little befuddled, but other than that, he's fine!
Announcer: Gravityman, DELLLETTED! Normally, we'd give the spectators a chance to take the winners on, but they're all passed out for now.
Guilter: Cool. Nathan can scan his memories when we get back.
Nathan: *smokes a congratulatory cig* Oh yeah, cause I know all about navi tech crap.
*Their mission accomplished, Nathan and Guilter head over to the bar and order several congratulatory shots of Vodka. Once the two mercs are good and slightly tipsy, they drive back to HQ. The pickup truck doesn't follow them back. Back at HQ...*
Falco: ...and from now on, no more of the disco confusing thingy. EVER! I've never been so embarrassed in my life.
Haley: Don't worry about it Falco. Brightman's AI may be a bit...skewed but...
Chet:Skewed?! You're waaaay too easy on him.
Guilter: I gotta agree with him. Here I am in the middle of a fight and this guy just disco dances for no reason. What the hell is wrong with him?
Sean: AHEM! Let's just focus on the task at hand here. Now that we have Gravityman, all that's left is to scan his memories and find where Iris is.
Haley: In the meantime, whilst you guys were getting drunk of your asses, Starman and Freezeman were on a recon mission to Gravityman's other last known location before he headed for the bar.
Nathan: And you didn't send us there, WHY?
Chet: Shut up and get back to work futzing with Gravity's noggin you twat!
*Nathan does so but not before throwing a blunt object at Chet's head*
Sean: Anyways, the area is found somewhere in Netopia. We're not "quite" sure where though. We need Gravityman to tell us more. Also I think it's time we tell you why Gravityman is so important that we needed him alive.
Nathan & Guilter: Finally!
Sean: We have plenty of reasons actually. We have plans to either A. make him into a security navi for our base and erase all data on him being evil and working for whoever the hell it is he's working for or B. use him in a prisoner exchange.
Nathan: I think both ideas suck. He's obviously too stupid to be of any good either way.
Chet: Oh what are you complaining about? YOU'RE the one getting paid for this.
Haley: We can't do jack shit with him until he's at least reprogrammed anyway. We still need to extract any and all info out of him.
Falco: And once we're done with that, we'll be able to hunt down Iris and...
*Before Falco could answer sirens are blaring in the HQ*
Sean: Freezeman, what's going on?
Freezeman: Sercuity breach sir. Someone's broken through the first level of the super firewall barrier.
Guilter: Sounds like someone's here to get their Navi back.
Sean: DAMNIT! Without Iris running the system, we're sitting ducks. If they destroy the main CPU while they're at it, we can kiss EVERYTHING goodbye.
*Outside of the Transmitter's computer net. A massive group of HeelNavis and NaviBlaks being led by a giant, mechanized navi grafted onto a spiked bulldozer are breaking through*
?: Alright troops, here's how it goes down. We go in and destroys the main CPU, it's back-up processors and anything else these goody two-shoes bastards might be a'holding of importance here.
Morally Impaired Navi: Yo Mad Grinder, what about Gravityman?
Mad Grinder: Sigh. Yes, and rescues that junk pile I guess. I wants to sees plenty of asskicking and destruction. Give'em complete hell ya maggots. Whoever offs the mercs gets a prize.
Morally Impaired Navi: What's that?
Mad Grinder: I won't pave the piss outta ya's. Now MOOOOOOOVE OUT!
Heelnavis: SIR YES SIR!
To Be Concluded...
Special Thanks to Raijin for lending Brightman's and Gravityman's sprites.