The Mechanical Maniacs vs. The Mega-Metroids

By Magnetman (Titanium91)

(The story begins in deep space after Samus Aran had completed her mission on Zebes. All was thought well after she foiled the plans of the evil Mother Brain and wiped out the Metroid species. However, little was it known that her job was not completely finished. A new terror had arisen, but Samus was missing in space. So now the Federation must find a new hero, or heroes to save the galaxy...)

(Meanwhile, on an insignificant planet, in an insignificant solar system, in an insignificant and rather decrepit old warehouse, some very insignificant robots are starting an insignificant day in their insignificant lives. Topman walks slowly and very carefully down the steps to the lower level of the warehouse, where he finds the rest of the team already up and amusing themselves. He even manages to get to the last five steps before slipping and falling down.)

C. J.: Oof!
Sean: Oh not again...
Gizmo: Topman needs a firepole or something.
Gauntlet: Who cares, what's on TV?
Gizmo: I don't know, we don't get any channels.
Sean: We could try using this high-intensity solar powered super-durable satellite dish I built out of some old hangers.
Anton: Good idea, maybe we can get HBO that way.

(Sparkman proceeds to hook up his satellite dish to the TV.)

Sean: Well, here goes nothing! (Turns it on.)
C. J.: Good, maybe we'll get Cartoon Network!
Sean: Yeah, then we could watch Gundam Wing every day!
Anton: Think of all the stuff I could blow up with a GUNDAM...
Jacob: I wanna watch wrestling!
C. J.: Hey, what the...? I'm getting a signal!

(Topman plays with the TV until it comes in clear, two aliens are talking behind a news counter.)
Alien 1: Well Blorgleshnork, it seems that Samus has left the SR-388 system, I don't think there's anyone strong enough to defeat these Mega-Metroids.
Alien 2: Yes Beezleflopp, it seems as though we're all doomed to die a horrible death, unless someone out there is daring enough to take the bounty on them. Just what is the government offering any brave takers of this task?
Alien 1: Well funding is a little short, but they've offered to reward whoever destroys it with a strange element they found floating out in space.

All: GASP!
C. J.: This is it! We have to go defeat the Mega-Metroids!
Anton: Why? We never had anything to do with this.
C. J.: They said that Samus is missing, and they need someone to defeat the Mega-Metroids on SR-388.
Gizmo: Why can't Cossack's Creations or the Sinister Six take care of it?
C. J.: Cossack's Creations are fighting Oilman and the Sinister Six are at a convention. Besides, that is one of Gamma's elements! We have to get it for ourselves!
Demo: Where's Magnetman?
T-91: I'm in the kitchen.
Sean: You didn't get stuck to the fridge did you?
T-91: I just wanted a bologna sandwich, that's all!
C. J.: Hold on, we're coming.

(The Mechanical Maniacs walk to the kitchen, where sure enough, Magnetman is stuck head-first to the refrigerator door.)

Gizmo: How are we gonna get him unstuck?
Sean: I know, I'll use my Spark Shock to reverse the magnetic force on his head!
T-91: Um, do I get a choice in this matter?
Sean: No. SPARK SHOCK!

(Magnetman goes flying away from the fridge and gets fried.)

Jacob: Aw sheesh, Spark Shock is his weakness you dolt!
Gizmo: (Grabbing a bucket of water and pouring it on the smoking Magnetman) There, this should help.
Sean: No you bimbo, water conducts electricity!

(Magnetman is now even more fried.)

Gauntlet: Oh just pick him up and carry him along.
Jacob: Ok, Maniacs Unite!
C. J.: Hold it!!!
Everyone Else : What?
C. J.: Enough with the plagiarism, we'll have to find another way to get to SR-388.
Gauntlet: Aw, piss off Topman!
Gizmo: Um, I know how to flag down flying spaceships...
C. J.: Perfect!

(Some time later, the Mechanical Maniacs have arrived at SR-388.)

T-91: Nothing's here, it's deserted, like a Michael Jackson concert.
C. J.: OK, I think they might be underground. But where's the entrance?
Jacob: SEARCH SNAKE! Cool, I think it found a cave!

(The Maniacs walk into the cave when all of a sudden a little creature pops up in front of them.)

T-91: What the hell is that!!
Anton: Kill it!!!
Gauntlet: Wait, I think it's cute!
Sean: Cute? It looks like a giant demonic gerbil...
Gauntlet: I'll name it 'Shadow' (Picks it up and pets it.)
Demo: Uh...guys...
Everyone Else: Huh?
Demo: There's some sort of giant jellyfish on my head!!!
C. J.: Holy crap, it's a Mega-Metroid!!
Anton: KILL IT!!!! NEEDLE CANNON!
Gauntlet: SHADOW BLADE!
Gizmo: GEMINI LASER!
Jacob: SEARCH SNAKE!
Sean: SPARK SHOCK!
C. J.: TOP SPIN!
T-91: MAGNET MISSILE!
Sean: Nothing's affecting it!
Anton: What will we do now?

(Hardman jumps up and slams his head on the ground, squishing the Mega-Metroid.)

C. J.: Quick thinking, Hardman!... Wait... that sentence doesn't mix well...
Gauntlet: Forget these stupid things! Lets get outta here!!!
Snake: OK, I'm leaving!

(The Maniacs run back to the flying saucer as fast as they can, but on the way out Hardman steps on a button of some kind.)

C. J.: What's that button?
Demo: I don't know.
Everyone Else: Who cares!

(Everyone gets in the spaceship and flies off, just as the planet explodes.)

Gizmo: That must have been a self-destruct button.
Anton: Heehee...EXPLOSION!!!!!
T-91: Well it's probably not how they wanted it done, but the Mega-Metroids are technically destroyed. Now all we have to do is pick up our reward!

(The Maniacs go to the Galactic Police Station to pick up the bounty.)

Anonymous Police Guy: Well you guys sure saved the universe!
Anton: NEEDLE CANNON!!!

(Anton riddles the Policeman with Needles.)

Everyone Else: ANTON!!!
Anton: Oops.

(Two more Galactic Policemen come and arrest Anton.)

Sean: That guy has a manic trigger-happy mood disorder or something. At least we got the element. Come on, I have to go put it in a safe place.

(The Mechanical Maniacs return to Earth.)

C. J.: Well, that's a wrap guys!
T-91: That kinda sucked though.
Jacob: What do you mean? We wiped out the Mega-Metroids, and now we are heroes!
Gizmo: Yeah, but now we'll have to bust Anton out of jail.
Demo: There's something I don't understand.
C. J.: There's A LOT of things you don't understand, Demo.
Demo: How come that little demon thing didn't attack Gauntlet?
Gauntlet: (Feeding a sock to 'Shadow') Now that...is a secret! HEHEHE!!!

THE END

Cast:
Sean as .....	Sparkman	Jacob as .....	Snakeman	Anton as .....	Needleman
Eric as .....	Hardman			C.J. as .....	Topman
Gizmo as .....	Geminiman	Titanium 91 as .....	Magnetman	Gauntlet as .....	Shadowman