Gauntlet At The Movies

By: Gauntlet (aka Shadowman)

(The scene begins with the Mechanical Maniacs eating their energon cubes.)

Magnet: So, what's our new direction, Top? Now that we're rich, we don't have to be super heroes anymore.

Top: Ask the new leader, Shadowman!

Needlegal: Yeah, what is it we DO now?

Snake: Yeah, we gotta have a goal.

Hard: nnnnnnnnnhhhhhh!

Gauntlet: Hunh?? Well, what do I care?

Spark: You're our leader! You make the plans!

Hard: nnnnnnnnnhhhhhh!

Gauntlet: Argh! I'll do it tommorrow.

Needlegal: You said that YESTERDAY.

Gauntlet: But this time I really mean it.

...

Top: Well I say we start trying to find more elements for Gamma.

Gemini: Good idea! It's about time we start doin' that!

Needlegal: LET'S GO!!

Snake: Care to make our leaving official, oh leader?

...

Snake: Leader??

(Gauntlet is driving once again in a stolen Sunfire.)

Gauntlet: Man, it has been MONTHS since I got to do anything on my own! Those guys may be fun, but taking over the world is a hassle I don't need. See, it's all about balance. Being a world leader is nothing but work, work, work ALL THE TIME! Do you see what I mean? I don't wanna work. If I wanted that, I'd get a job! Work is the last thing I want. It goes against my nature!

Guy: Ah...yeah. Do you want fries with that?

Gauntlet: Fries...yes. Fries are good. Why not?

Guy:...why indeed?

(Gauntlet receives his Drive-Thru meal and drives off!)

Guy: Can it be...is he onto us...?

(Gauntlet eats his meal while walking to a comic book store.)

Gauntlet: Y'know, I don't know what those guys are thinking! WHO in their right mind would want a big freaking hassle like that!? I mean, GOD! It boggles the mind!

Comic Reader: You are the boggling one, my obsessive friend. Why are you telling me all this?

Gauntlet: Why? I - don't - know! It's just bothering me, I guess. I mean, why, why, WHY would anyone -

Comic Reader: NEVER MIND about that. For now, read this copy of Superman #166. In it Superman discovers all of the revisions John Bryne did in the Man of Steel miniseries are a pack of lies like we all thought they were.

Gauntlet: AGH! Like that would calm me down!? That makes me mad! Why would they do that!? Now we have to deal with Sun-Boy Jor-El again and -

Comic Reader: "Sun-Boy Jor-El?"

Gauntlet: Yeah. Y'know how the Silver Age Jor-El has a sun on his chest? "Sun-Boy Jor-El".

Comic Reader: You are indeed perplexing, Gauntlet.

Gauntlet: Perplexing!? I don't need this! (Storms out with the copy of Superman #166.)

Comic Reader: HEY! You haven't paid for that! Hmmmmmm...perhaps he recognises me through this petty disguise? Perhaps he sees that I am - (Pulls off a mask.)

Comic Reader: TORCHMAN!

(Gauntlet drives to the movies and goes in to see Dracula 2000. He goes to get some candies and...)

Gauntlet: Magma Dragoon!?

Mr.Dragoon: Not quite. I am not that loser, but Mr.Dragoon! I traveled back in time where my unique abilites could get me a prestigous job!

Gauntlet: Oh. And this was where you ended up?

Mr.Dragoon: You betcha! So what can I get you?

Gauntlet: Some nachos and a drink will be fine.

(Gauntlet pays and goes into the theater.)

Gauntlet: (Thought) Man, this was more fun when I had to trick people into giving me things for free.

(Gauntlet sits in the middle third row. Previews play. Gauntlet sees a trailer for that movie where the dad turns into a snowman, whatever it's called, it had Michael Keaton in it. [Edit: - The movie's name was JACK FROST!! Ha-HAH!!])

Gauntlet: ARGH!! THAT IS A STUPID IDEA FOR A MOVIE!!

People: Shhhhhhhh!

Gauntlet: But it's the previews!

People: SHHHHHHHHHH!

Gauntlet: OH COME ON! WHY NOT JUST 'SHHHH' YOUSELVES!?

Other Guy: SHADDAP!!

Another Guy: We wanna watch the movie!!

Gauntlet: AW, YOU shut up!! Nobody tells me to - hey the movie's starting!

(The lights go dim.)

Bitman: Has he discovered our plot?

Waveman: Aw, he must have. Why else would he be here?

Bitman: Let's annoy him!

(Bitman starts throwing popcorn at Gauntlet.)

Gauntlet: Whoever's doing that - please stop.

(Bitman continues.)

Gauntlet: WHY NOT JUST STOP THROWING THE DAMN POPCORN AT ME!?

(Gauntlet gets thrown out of the theater.)

Manager: And stay out!

Gauntlet: FINE!

(The manager goes back in and Gauntlet sneaks back into the movie.)

Gauntlet: (Thinking) Throw me out? No way. Nobody throws me out. I spent my good money here and I WILL see that damn movie!

Mr.Dragoon: Hey! I thought you were thrown out!

Gauntlet: The bouncer thinks I'm pretty, so he let me back in. What can I say, I got looks.

Mr.Dragoon: I am not sure I believe you...

Gauntlet: Hey, is this the face of a liar??

...

Gauntlet: I am insulted.

Some Other Guy: GAUNTLET!?! NO WAY!

Gauntlet: Hm? Now what?

Some Other Guy: Dunno how you found out about our awesome sweet plan, but we'll beat you up now!!

Gauntlet: Eh?

('Some Other Guy' rips off his disguise and is revealed to be Sharkman!)

Gauntlet: Sharkman!? Aren't you supposed to be in jail??

Sharkman: That Super Chaos dude paid our bail!

(They fight and Gauntlet knocks out Sharkman.)

Gauntlet: Now for the movie. I missed 10 minutes already.

(Gauntlet opens the door to see the rest of the PC Mega Man 3 team behind it.)

Gauntlet: Whoops! Wrong room.

(Gauntlet slams the door, but the S6 bust it down!)

Oilman: We will destory you before you ruin our plans!

Gauntlet: Hey! Ho! Can we do this after the movie?

Blademan: NO!! We'll kill you now!!

(Gauntlet dodges their various weapons and exits the theater only to run into 'Comic Reader' and 'Guy'!)

Gauntlet: What are you doing here!?

('Comic Reader' and 'Guy' reveal themselves to be Torchman and Arch Nemesis!)

Gauntlet: (Thinking) Just what I need. This is no good. What the hell are they up to now?

Gauntlet: I knew it was you! HA-HA! I shall destroy you all and ruin your stupid plan!

Arch: I don't think so!

(The villains circle around Gauntlet. Gauntlet leaps over Arch's head and uses his extending staff to get to the roof of the theater!)

Arch: He's on the roof!

Oilman: Master of the obvious, as always!

Waveman: We have to go all the way up there?

Gauntlet: Well guys, it was fun, but I gotta get home.

(Gauntlet is hit by a blast!)

Dark Moon: I will destroy you myself!

Double: Aided by me! MWa-heheheheheehheheheh!

Gauntlet: HEY! You wouldn't consider talking this out non violently?

(Dark Moon and Double attack! Gauntlet avoids the blasts!)

Gauntlet: Okay, I can take a hint. I am not wanted here.

(Gauntlet aims his Matrix Gauntlets to the ground and fires them so that he goes flying into the air!)

Shark (Jet): Mwa hahahaahahaah! GUESS WHO'S BACK LOSER!

Gauntlet: Geez!

(Gauntlet fires Shadow Blades at Sharkman, then lands in a convertible.)

Gauntlet: Convenient. Time to am-scray.

(The car is blasted by Gemini Red and Docman!)

Gemini Red: There is no escape for you!

Doc Robot: Indeed! (Fires eye beams!)

(Gauntlet avoids the blasts as the rest of the villains begin to catch up!)

Gauntlet: And now it's time for a strategic retreat.

(Gauntlet runs at the villains and uses his staff as a pole-vault, throwing himself back towards the theater and far away from the approaching bad guys! Gauntlet then runs into a local McDonalds!)

Shark: He's going into the McDonalds! After him!!

(The villains run into the restaurant, but it is deserted.)

Blade: Where is he!!

Gemini Red: He can't be far...

Doc Robot: Hey. The door's locked.

(The McDonalds goes up in a huge explosion! Gaunltet is walking outside.)

Gauntlet: Hah! And buh-bye to you! Thank you Bombman and clearly marked gas lines! Now to see the rest of Dracula 2000, even though I missed most of it...

Someone: You will miss even more than that!

Gauntlet: You have got to be kidding me!!

(Before him stands Darkman, Al Gore the Robot Master, Super Chaos, King Dedede, and Iceman Red!!)

Gauntlet: Aw man! Don't you have your own teams to bother!?*

(Respectively: Darkman's Robot Warriors, The MMX2 team, the Sinister Six, the Champions of Evil, and the Sinister Six again.)

Darkman: Not really!

Dedede: He'll ruin everything!!!

Super Chaos: You must not get in the way of our plan!!

Iceman Red: Now! Destroy him!!

Gauntlet: Now, let's not be so hasty! I just want to see my freaking movie! Go! Plot! Scheme! Conspire, just LEAVE ME ALONE DAMNIT!!

Al Gore: Never. You must never get in the way of our nefarious plan to make our own Megaman United team - only for villains.

...

...

Iceman Red: Damn you Al Gore, you gave away our plan!

Al Gore: I believe he already knew the plan.

Super Chaos: Yes, but now others within earshot know as well!

Gauntlet: Hold on - HOLD IT! That's your freaking plan!? THAT'S why I've been running around like a putz!? You tried that already and it didn't work!! What is wrong with you -

(The villains glare at Gauntlet menacingly.)

Gauntlet: (Starts running) Never mind!

Al Gore: After him.

Dedede: Swarm! Swarm!

Iceman Red: Don't let him get away!!

(Gauntlet is jumped on from above by Bass, who occasionally fights the Sinister Six!)

Bass: This time we have the manpower to win!!

Dr.Wily: And the leadership! Everyone, destroy him!!

Gauntlet: WAIT!!!

(The villains stop.)

Gauntlet: How much to make this problem just...go away?

($25,000 later, Gauntlet arrives back at the theater...)

Mr.Dragoon: Back, eh? Well, you missed most of the movie, but you should be able to catch the last part of it.

Gauntlet: With all the trouble I just went through, it had better be worth it.

(Shortly thereafter, the movie ends...)

Mr.Dragoon: So, was it worth it?

Gauntlet: I just fought my way through every single MM team villain...and paid them $25,000...to find out that Dracula was freakin' JUDAS!

Mr.Dragoon: Gee, I guess it wasn't worth it then.

Gauntlet: No, Dragoon it was not worth it!

Mr.Dragoon: Guess you wasted your money then.

Gauntlet: Wha? Nah. I used my...(Whips out device) Counterfiet Money Machine!!

Mr Dragoon: ...But aren't you rich now? Why not use real money?

Gauntlet: Well, in addition to being very rich, I am also very cheap.

Mr Dragoon: The money you gave me for snacks earlier appears to be legit though.

Gauntlet: I'm also capricious.

(And so, Gauntlet goes back to base...)

Gemini: Heyo, Gauntlet!

Snake: Whassssap, G?

Gauntlet: Aren't you mad I ditched you? Again?

Top: Nah, we had a great adventure of our own! What a spectacular day! We didn't even have to deal with any annoying villains! It's like they all took the day off or something. We -

Gauntlet: Shut up. Just shut up.

Needlegal: Don't you wanna hear about our great day?

Gauntlet: Not today. Not in a million years.

TV Reporter: Also, the new villain team "Anti-Megaman United" consisting of the villains of all the Mega Man teams were found out before they could even hatch a single evil scheme thanks to their wanton use of counterfeit money. They were found out in a local store and were quickly apprehended with help from Dr.Light, Megaman, and Protoman. Their leader had this to say:

Dr.Wily: It was Gauntlet! Damn him! He ruined everything!!! If you are watching boy, you will rue the day you crossed the path of Dr.Wily!!

Juno: Oh dear. That man appears to be unhealthily agitated.

Magnet: Care to let us in?

Gauntlet: No.

Snake: Hm...I guess things turned out alright after all...

Needlegal: Yeah, and we learned something too...

Gauntlet: It better not be about Dracula 2000 having a shitty ending, because if it's that, so help me God -!

Needlegal: We learned that fashion does not dictate who we are. When Snakeman was possessed in the land of hats, he was able to overcome the hat's influence on him because it was not the clothes that made the man, but rather the man that makes the man!

Gauntlet: ...What the hell? What did I miss today??

Needlegal: Oh, so NOW you take an interest in our lives?

Hard: nnnnnnnnnhhhhhh!

Top: Well, until Gauntlet wears a fashionable yet comfortable hat, we are...the Mechanical Maniacs!

THE END

Cast:
Sean as .....	Sparkman	Jacob as .....	Snakeman	Psycho Magnet as .....	Needlegal
Nobody as .....	Hardman			C.J. as .....	Topman
Gizmo as .....	Geminiman	Titanium 91 as .....	Magnetman	Gauntlet as .....	Shadowman