Series 3 Issue # 14 - Dragons Make for Tough Enemies

This day, the Mechanical Maniacs face a revived King Kong in New York! He's grabbed Needlegal and has scaled the Empire State Building! The rest of the Maniacs have gone up the elevator to make it to the top in time to catch up to the ape!!

King Kong: ROAR!!


Snakeman: My snakes'll get this guy good!

Gauntlet: NO! If he falls he'll crush the city! Thousands could die!

Sparkman: Then how do we beat this guy??

Gauntlet: I'm thinking, I'm thinking.....

(King Kong swipes at the 'Maniacs (who are inside the building)! Furniture and chunks of the wall reel across the floor!)

Magnetman: XELLOSS!!! I know your around, Xel! Come and give us a hand!!

(Xelloss appears out of thin air!)

Xelloss: Just because I'm "around" doesn't mean I can help you out! I'm a very busy guy you know!

(Xelloss disappears!)

Magnetman: I HATE THAT GUY!!

(King Kong takes another swipe at the team!)

Needlegal: My Needles don't affect this guy!!

Topman: Wait.... we do know another guy who could beat this guy without killing everybody! PLAYER 2!!! COMMON GUY!! YOU HAVE SUPER HEARING!! YOU WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW YOU? THEN GET YER ASS OVER HERE!

(A few minutes later....)

Player 2: What??

Gauntlet: What!? Giant ape!

Player 2: *snort* yeah, I noticed.

Topman: Well?


Player 2: Well, what?

Topman: "WELL" aren't you gonna fly that ape to wherever it came from!?

Player 2: What? This is YOUR adventure, not mine, buddy.

Topman: Hey! Help us out! We -

Player 2: Oh wait! I've finally found it! While you were talking I was looking through the Earth with my X-ray vision and I've finally found the cure for Aids! It's in that plant right there in the Rainforest! With that millions can -


Player 2: Oh, it just got bulldozed over because I had to talk with you guys. Now, what were you saying?


Topman: God damn you, Player 2.

(King Kong waves Needlegal around!)

Needlegal: H-e-e-e-e-elp!!

King Kong: ROAR!! ROAR!!

Magma Dragoon: Lemme at 'im.

Gauntlet: Um, that's -

(Ben shoots out a ray of heat at the creature's face blasting it away!!)

Sparkman: BEN!!! That was just an animal! And now....

Snakeman: LOOK!!

(King Kong's body did not, in fact fall from the building! It stayed on and gave another swipe! And where it's head was sat....)

Hardman: The Legion of Doom! So this is your crummy plot!

Cobra Commander: This plot was not "crummy"! You simpleton! It was *my* plan you moron, and it was, and IS, genius!!


Skeletor: It certainly fooled you fools!!

Krang: Yes, we have you right where we want you!

Cobra Commander: There is no escape!

Skeletor: Ha ha hah!

Galvatron: With the true nature of "King Kong" revealed, we can dispense with the charade and bring out the heavy artillery!!

(Galvatron presses a button and the villains are lowered into the body. A hatch closes the now-broken head compartment. Armor surrounds Kong's hairy body and blasters appear from the shoulders!)

Player 2: Wow. Lookit that.

Snakeman: Shut up!

Player 2: Make me.

Gauntlet: That's Transmetal armor!! Where'd you get that!

Galvatron: With those Megaman PC robots proven to be utterly useless I took back the enhancements I gave them via remote control and planted them within Kong here. It pays to plan ahead!

Needlegal: AAAGH!!!

Snakeman: Needle!! What's up!

Sparkman: He's running thousands of volts of electricity through her! I can feel the juice! She's gonna die!!

(Ben then leaps forward and uses his power to rip off Kong's hand, freeing Needlegal!)

Needlegal: Thanks.

Magma Dragoon: Hmph.

(The guns blast at the 'Maniacs and they reel back!)

Galvatron: Ha! Look, their guns even affect that irritating Dragoon!

Krang: They'll rue the day they crossed us!

Xelloss (thought): Oh dear. It looks like I'll have to step in to help.

(Xelloss appears next to Player 2.)

Xelloss: Why look at this! The Mechanical Maniacs are trying to save the city ... and your useless!

Player 2: Bite me.

Xelloss: Well, I guess this is why no one considers you to be a *real* super hero. Not like Superman.

Player 2: WHAT!?

Xelloss: Oh my, I guess your just not good for anything, are you? Just a waste of air....


Xelloss: How dull....

(Xelloss disappears again.)

(Player 2 screams in frustration.)

Snakeman: OW! My ears!

Player 2: I'll show that Xelloss!

(Player 2 blasts forward and into the giant robot monkey! He lifts it above New York and flings it into outer space!)

Cobra Commander: Oh I just knew this was a bad idea! Krang, this is all your fault!

Krang: SHUT UP!

Galvatron: Quiet all of you!

Skeletor: Well, it looks like the Legion of Doom is ........ blasting off again ~ !

Mumm-ra: TIMMY!!

(The Legion is out of sight.)

Player 2: NOW who's "Super"?

(Player 2 flies off!)

Magma Dragoon: Alright, now that the goon squad's taken care of, your next!!

(MD fires off some fireballs and the 'Maniacs dodge!)

Hardman: GEEZ! What's yer deal, Ben! We're your pals!

Magma Dragoon: No "pal" of MINE would hang out with that .... XELLOSS!!!

(Magma Dragoon attacks the 'Maniacs, but they manage to avoid him and escape by jumping off the building!)

(Landing with a crash, the 'Maniacs run for cover against the crazed Dragoon.)

(They go through several alleys and into the sewer system.)

Needlegal: I think .... I think we lost him.

Snakeman: Damn that Xelloss! This is all his fault!

(Suddenly, Xelloss appears!)

Xelloss: What did I do, Mister Snakeman?

Snakeman: Oh, I don't know.... only get us into shit because you hang out with us!!

Xelloss: Aw, just when I thought we were becoming such good friends. Well, I guess I'll be going then.

(Xelloss disappears)

Topman: Think we were too hard on him?

someone: Not hard enough in my point of view.


Magnetman: Haw! A Power Ranger!

Needlegal: Don't be like that, Titanium! He's the smart one.

Green Ranger: I'm also known as the Dragon Ranger!

(Green Ranger throws a fireball at the 'Maniacs! They dodge and Green leaps into attack!)

Topman: Whoa! He's fast!

(Green Ranger cuts them down with his Dragon Dagger and exchanges ninjitsu moves with Shadowman!)

Gauntlet: And a martial artist too! Well, that won't stop us!

(While Green Ranger is busy with Gauntlet, Snakeman shoots off snakes at him. They clamp onto Green's legs sending sparks everywhere!)

Green Ranger: Ouch!

(Magnetman uses his Magnet Missiles and they seek out Green Ranger. The Ranger is blasted, but he doesn't quit!)

Green Ranger: It'll take more than friends of Xelloss to defeat me!

Xelloss: Allow me to lend you a hand, gang.

(Xelloss blasts Green Ranger with his staff, sending him flying across the sewers!)

Xelloss: Well, THAT was exciting.

Magnetman: Yeah, thanks for the assist. Common, let's get outta here!

Sparkman: We gotta lose these dragons! Who knows how many are here!

(The 'Maniacs run and get out of the sewers and run straight into Bruce Lee!)

Needlegal: BRUCE LEE!!! Wait ... isn't he supposed to be dead??

Gauntlet: Yeah, and we're Megaman people who just fought a Power Ranger. Stuff like this makes very little sense.

Bruce Lee: YOU are allied with HIM. (Points to Xelloss). YOU will pay.

Sparkman: Well, Gauntlet, this is your call.

Gauntlet: MY call?? Why?

Sparkman: Well, you are Shadowman, the ninja robot master. If anyone can fight Bruce Lee, you can.


Gauntlet: But that's Bruce-frickin' Lee. I'm not fighting Bruce Lee.

Snakeman: You coward!

Gauntlet: Hey, screw you! I'm not fighting Bruce Lee!

Bruce Lee: ......

Needlegal: Well, don't look at me. I don't want my pretty little butt kicked.

Hardman: Well, I'M not gonna fight him.

Snakeman: What about you, Xelloss?

Xelloss: I think you people can handle this.

(Xelloss disappears.)

Snakeman: That useless -

(Suddenly, Bruce Lee springs into action and decks Gauntlet!)

Needlegal: Holy - move it, guys!

(Sparkman sends out Spark Shots, but Bruce Lee uses Gauntlet's body to block the shots and then tosses him aside!)

Needlegal: Dammit, this is not gonna -

(Bruce Lee kicks Needlegal sending her sprawled onto the ground!)

(Hardman shoots his Hard Knuckle, but Lee avoids it and high kicks Hardman in the chin!)

Gauntlet: This is ... embarrassing .... and painful!

Magnetman: Hey, Spark! Remember the rip-off intro?

Sparkman: I know what you mean!

(Magnetman and Sparkman combine their powers and create a huge burst of light, blinding Lee!)

Bruce Lee: Agh!!

(And so, the 'maniacs escape Bruce Lee and are on the run again!)

Snakeman: Geez, that was close.

Hardman: Wish Lennon was here to help us out instead of on his "spiritual journey!"

Gauntlet: Well, we gotta make do! We have no ... idea......

Needlegal: Aw, dammit! It's Dragonzord!

Dragonzord: ROOOOAAARRR!!!

Gauntlet: He's still far off. I don't think he'll be able to see us if we stay low. And I doubt Green Ranger will destroy the city looking for us.

Xelloss: Ah, but he is a Power Ranger. And they destroy their own city every day before they defeat monsters that threaten them.

Sparkman: Xelloss! Help us out!

Xelloss: Oh, you seem to have things well in hand here. Besides, my presence seems to make the dragons even more mad at you. We wouldn't want that would we?

(Suddenly fireballs are shot at the 'Maniacs!)

Megatron: Hah! I got you! Yesssssssss. I am Megatron, yes? The red dragon. You'll not defeat MY power. No.

(Megatron, in Red Dragon mode, hurls more fireballs!)

Megatron: You'll pay for allying yourselves with that ...... XELLOSS!!

Xelloss: Oh, dear. You see?

(The 'Maniacs all shoot their weapons at once and blast Megatron apart!)

Sparkman: Piece 'o cake.

Xelloss: Um, if you could do that all the time .... why not do that to Mr. Lee?

Gauntlet: Megatron was once defeated by a fart, alright. Meanwhile Bruce Lee is one helluva ....


Gauntlet: He's behind me isn't he?

(Bruce Lee attacks Gauntlet!)

Xelloss: Oh dear.

Green Ranger: Alright, you'll pay for what you did!!

Xelloss: Why Mr. Oliver, I -

Green Ranger: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME!?

Xelloss: What? Was that supposed to be some kind of secret? Oh, I am sorry Mr. Oliver. Your friends just keep shouting out your name, so how can I help but overhear?

Green Ranger: I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!

(Green Ranger charges at Xelloss, but Xelloss avoids him easily and knocks him into Hardman.)

Hardman: Hey!

Green Ranger: You quiet!

(Green Ranger battles Hardman!)

Megatron: You have not ..... defeated Megatron just yet .... nooooooooooo......

(Megatron blasts at the 'Maniacs!)

Xelloss: Oh, my.

(And then Magma Dragoon crashes in from overhead, sending cracks in the pavement!)

Magma Dragoon: I've found you!

Xelloss: Well, tell me how it turns out!

(Xelloss disappears!)



(It was a short battle!)

Snakeman: Ow.

Magnetman: I can't believe they creamed us.

Snakeman: Ow.

Hardman: Yeesh. All I said was "does this fight gotta drag-on until one of us is dead." Can't they take a joke?

Snakeman: Ow.

Needlegal: They must hate puns as much as I do.

Snakeman: Ow.

Topman: What I'd like to know is, where did Gauntlet run off to?! He was there when the battle began!!

(Suddenly, Xelloss appears!)

Xelloss: Hm. From my vantage point, I believe I saw Mister Gauntlet make a hologram and sneak off to find some food.

All: What!?

Xelloss: Oh, yes. He seemed quite determined to leave you behind to face those dragons alone.

Sparkman: Why that little......

(At that moment, Gauntlet comes around a corner...)

Gauntlet: Man. Ow. That was rough. What a battle that was, eh guys?


Gauntlet: guys?

Needlegal: Gauntlet ..... is that a food stain I see on your scarf??


Gauntlet: Yeah, but it's an old stain, Needle.

Magnetman: Is that french fries I smell on your breath, Gauntlet?

Gauntlet: What? Oh, I see. You think just because I have a food stain and my breath smells like french fries that I ditched you guys and went to Mc Donald's to grab a chicken McNugget meal. Is that how it is then? Man, we can't even trust each other, can we? What has the world - ?

Needlegal: Get IM

(The 'Maniacs attack Gauntlet!)

Gauntlet: HEY! What's the deal!?

Snakeman: Hm.....I guess things turned out all right after all ...

Gauntlet: OW!

Needlegal: Yeah, and we learned something too....

Gauntlet: Hey, stop that!!

(The 'Maniacs continue pounding on Gauntlet.)

Needlegal: We learned that you should never abandon your friends!

Xelloss: Indeed! What a truthful moral!

Gauntlet: Traitors! Traitors all!

Sparkman: Ain't that right, Gauntlet?

Gauntlet: Oh, shut up!

Topman: Well, until the dragon race actually talks to us again, we are .... the Mechanical Maniacs!



Sean as .....

Jacob as .....

Psycho Magnet as .....

Jonathan as .....

Nightmare as .....

Lennon as .....

Titanium 91 as .....

Gauntlet as .....