Series 3 Issue # 9 - Attack Of The Palette Swapped Ninjas!

By: Gauntlet (aka Shadowman)

Today, our heroes are wandering along the streets of L.A. And they are hopelessly lost!

Snakeman: I think we should go to the left.

Xelloss: Oh, really?? Well, I think the path to the right is the correct choice.

Magnetman: So which is is, Gauntlet?

Gauntlet: Well, it hardly matters, does it?? My counterfeit money machine is busted, and all our wallets were stolen so we have no money. No one even knows anyone in LA

Needlegal: Maybe we'll meet Angel! From Buffy the Vampire Slayer!

Voice: You'll meet allot of angels where your going!!!

Needlegal: Who???

Voice: You know....

.....

Voice: I'm QUINT!!!

Gauntlet: Oh, yeah. I almost forgot about you.

Quint: You may have lost me for a little while, but I caught up! Now you'll taste the wrath of my futuristic power!!

(Sparkman then sends Spark Shocks through the ground and Shocks Quint! Hardman lifts him up after he's woozy and throws him in a nearby dumpster!)

Quint: HEY! LEMME OUT!!!

(The Mechanical Maniacs walk away.)

Sparkman: What a rube.

(Suddenly another person appears in front of the team!)

Person: You must come with me! You are all in danger!

Sparkman: Yeah, no kidding. We're always in danger.

Topman: Who are you? You seem familiar.

Person: I am Sub Zero. I have come to warn you, but many are after me. You've gotta follow me.

Gauntlet: I smell hokeyness coming.

Sub Zero: Hurry!!

someone else: Ah. I see I have finally found you!

Sub Zero: SCORPION!!!

Scorpion: Ah, I see you have gone to warn them. Well, it will do no good against me!

(Scorpion shoots out his spear and grabs Sub Zero, but Gauntlet cuts it down with a Shadowblade!)

Sub Zero: Thanks.

Gauntlet: Save it for later, we gotta stop this guy!

(The 'Maniacs attack, all using their respective powers! With 9 to one odds, Scorpion is overpowered, and begins to flee.)

Scorpion: Ugh. I can't defeat you all on my own. I will gather the rest of the society and attack you!! Our vast numbers will easily overpower you all!

(With that, Scorpion runs away.)

Snakeman: Care to explain.

Sub Zero: Sure, but first we gotta get to my secret base.

(And so, having nothing else better to do, the Maniacs follow Sub Zero into an abandoned apartment complex.)

Sub Zero: You have been attacked by the Society of Palette Swapped Ninjas. I was once part of the society, but I rebelled since they did not want my costume replicated into an near-endless array of colors. Since then they have been hunting me.

Geminiman: That doesn't explain why their attacking us.

Hardman: Yeah, none of us have even heard of your stupid colorful society.

Sub Zero: I was getting to that. You see a while ago, the society began running out of colors to use for their ninjas. But they have found a new source of ninja clones to add to their society. They must be stopped! I believe they are attacking you to get a hold of Shadowman there. Using him as a base, the society can make even more clones to boost their ranks. Eventually there will be no original ninjas left. They must be stopped!

Voice: You'll never stop us!

Sub Zero: YOU!!!

Voice: Indeed! Us!

Hardman: Care to introduce yourselves for those of us who don't play Mortal Kombat, or aren't geeky enough to keep track of all your names??

Reptile: REPTILE!

Ermac: ERMAC!!!

Smoke: SMOKE!!!

Noob Saibot: NOOB SAIBOT!!

Classic Sub Zero: CLASSIC SUB ZERO!!!

Rain: RAIN!!!

Cyber Smoke: CYBER -

Hardman: Ok, shut up. I get the joke now.

....

Cyber Smoke: SMOKE!!!

Hardman: Oh, God, their not gonna stop.

Sektor: SEKTOR!!

Cyrax; CYRAX!!

Geminiman: All right, just stop.

Chameleon: CHAMELEON!!

Reiko: REIKO!!

Hardman: HARDMAN!!

Topman: Not funny, John.

Scorpion: SCORPION!!

Gauntlet: WE ALREADY KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!

Sub Zero: UNMASKED SUB ZERO!!

Gauntlet: WE ALREADY KNOW YOUR NAME TOO!!

Sub Zero: Sorry. Caught up in the moment.

Reptile: REPTILE!!

Needlegal: You said your name already.

Smoke: We just want Shadowman over there. Common, now. You are outnumbered. Our forces will surely wipe you out.

Needlegal: Where'd Xelloss run off to? We could use him about now!

Hardman: He just shows up to be irritating.

Gauntlet: Very well then. I surrender.

The 'Maniacs, Sub Zero: WHAT!?

Cyber Smoke: Very well. Come with us.

(Gauntlet walks towards the society.)

Snakeman: What!?

Sub Zero: You cannot give up so easily!

Sektor: He just saw the logic in the situation is all. Don't worry, you can have him back after -

(Suddenly, Gauntlet shoots Shadowblades at the unsuspecting ninjas!)

Noob Saibot: What is this!?

Magnetman: He was just fooling them! Attack!

(The team attacks the ninja forces! Their enhanced fighting skills and Gemini's ability to split into a multitude of selves made the balance between them about equal. That is, until....)

Quint: I HAVE FINALLY FOUND YOU!!!

(Quint bursts into the room, making the 'Maniacs distracted enough to lost their balance and get overwhelmed by the ninjas!!)

(Quint promptly summons his pogo stick of doom and leaps into the fray!)

Quint: And now I will crush you!

(Scorpion is able to ensnare Gauntlet with his cord and leap out the window!)

Scorpion: So long!

(Classic Sub Zero manages to knock out Unmasked Sub Zero and he follows Scorpion out the window!)

Classic Sub Zero: Later.

(The ninjas all depart and on their way out, Cyber Smoke and Human Smoke use their cables to snare Quint and throw him off the building!)

Smoke: That's for being irritating!

Cyber Smoke: Farewell, inferior models.

(The Smokes vanish.)

Magnetman: Oh, man. We'll never be able to find their secret headquarters now!

Topman: (spots something in the shadows) Hey! There's one left!

Noob Saibot: Uh-oh.

(The 'Maniacs gang up on him and tie him to a chair! They then turn on all the lights to better see Noob.)

Noob Saibot: Aw crud. You caught me.

Snakeman: Not very sneaky for a ninja are you??

Noob Saibot: Yeah, well. I'm not a very original ninja anyway. I'm just "Boon" and "Tobias" backwards.

Needlegal: So, where's yer base.

Noob Saibot: Hah! I'll never tell!

Snakeman: I've sent snakes to comb the city, but it could be a while before they find anything in a city this large.

Xelloss: Oh, I believe I already know where Mister Noob Saibot's base is located.

Geminiman: Xelloss! Where've you been??

Xelloss: Never mind that. According to this map, the ninja base is over here. (Points it out to the team.)

Needlegal: All right, then. Let's go and trash the place!

Noob Saibot: NEVER!! You'll be defeated by out vast forces!

Topman: I found something in this place that'll beat you guys good!

(Topman brings out what he found.)

Noob Saibot: No ... not THAT!!!!

(Later, at the Society's base....)

Cyrax: It is time. Now you will be copied and made into a useful member of the society.

(Gauntlet struggles, but he is tied up, and is unable to break free.)

Sektor: You will be modified.

Ermac: Let's go now! To the copy chamber!

Voice: Not so fast!!

Sektor: The interlopers!

Ermac: How did you get past Chameleon!? He has all of our powers. Well, only one at a time, but still, he should have -

Topman: Why not fight us and find out??

Ermac: All right! Sektor, take Shadowman to the copy chamber! Cyrax, help me defeat these fools!

(Sektor goes into another room while Ermac and Cyrax charge at the 'Maniacs! However, when they get close enough, Hardman pulls out a water gun full of ....)

Ermac, Cyrax: PAINT THINNER!?

(Hardman sprays the paint thinner onto the ninjas and they melt into a puddle of goo!)

Ermac: Noooooooooo!

Cyrax: Error...... Error.........

Sparkman: Great. That's four down ... seven more to go!

(The 'Maniacs follow Sektor into another a hallway, which is guarded by more irritating ninjas! Human Smoke, Cyber Smoke, and Reptile guard the way to the copy chamber!)

Reptile: You are going nowhere!

Smoke: Your gonna be beaten by the mean smoking machine!

Topman: Who the Hell came up with a corny line like that!?

(They battle the Smokes and Reptile, and long story short, there's three more puddles and our heroes enter the copy chamber to find Sektor defeated and Gauntlet freed!)

Gauntlet: I just called a Shadowblade and cut my ropes. It was quite the battle after that. These guys can be pretty formidable in an enclosed room.

Geminiman: It's too bad they didn't just make one ninja with all the moves of the others. That'd be one tough battle.

Reiko: Maybe in our next batch we'll do that!

Snakeman: Care to enlighten us as to what all this ... "equipment's" all about??

Reiko: It is all very technical.

Rain: You see, that over there is a Xerox machine! We use that to first copy the ninja!

Classic Sub Zero: And then we use the pain buckets over there to create an all new ninja to join our ranks!

Snakeman: THAT ISN'T VERY HIGH TECH AT ALL!!!!

Classic Sub Zero: Meh. You are just jealous.

(Scorpion enters the room)

Scorpion: Unmasked Sub Zero tried to escape. Heh heh. I did my "brutality" on him!

Reiko: Oh, man. Did you really have to?? This is why we can't have nice things.

Rain: Now who's gonna clean it all up.

Reiko: Not it on three...

Topman: HELLO!!?? Dammit, don't make us wait!

Scorpion: Your right, we're being rude. Allow us to introduce our newest members! I believe you may recognize some of them.

(Six figures burst into the room!)

Amphibian: AMPHIBIAN!!!

Bee: BEE!!

Drizl: DRIZL!!!!

Orrazib Wodahs: ORRAZIB WODAHS!!!

Smog: SMOG!!

Syser: SYSER!!!

Smog: We will kick your ass!!

.....

Gauntlet: GOD DAMN IT!!! THEIR ALL BIZARRO ME!!!!

Orrazib Wodahs: Ah, now that's where your wrong.

Drizl: We all have completely different moves than Bizarro.

Amphibian: Plus we do not have a speech impediment!

Smog: And now prepare to -

Hardman: Aw, Heck. I'm sick of all these ninjas already. Everybody fire yer water guns!!

(And so, a great outpour of paint thinner is expelled onto the ninjas, and they are all turned into a great big puddle of goo.)

Hardman: And THAT takes care of that chapter....

Magnetman: And we used all the paint thinner too.

Voice: YYYEEEEESSS!!

(They turn)

Gauntlet: BIZARRO SHADOWMAN!?

Bizarro Shadowman: What have you not done!?

Sparkman: We sprayed paint thinner on all these palette swaps, thereby melting them to puddles of goo.

Bizarro Shadowman: YES!! They were my .... WORST ENEMIES!!!

Geminiman: Geez, what happened to you!?

Guy: He was assimilated by the Borg, remember?* Well, they discovered that he was the one causing the malfunction, so they threw him out into space and cut him off from the collective! Bizarro Shadowman retains his Borg powers, but they sometimes conflict with his imperfect robotic circuitry. Until a short while ago, the society could only copy his Shadowman side, but that has changed....

(*Series 2, Issue 18!)

Gauntlet: Geez, not another one .....

Negarro: Indeed, I am NEGARRO!!! The first Relocation of Bizarro with his Borg circuitry! Unlike Bizarro, however, my mind is not malfunctioning!

Topman: Hah! We can take you both on! Even without paint thinner!

(The 'Maniacs go on the offensive! Sparkman sprays a wide field of Spark Shocks and Gemini [and several copies] use the Gemini Lazer! The Bizarros dodge the attacks and begin to adapt!)

Negarro: Hah! We're adapting!

Bizarro Shadowman: Resistance is futile.

(The Bizarros counter, but their Shadowblades are an older model and are easily destroyed by Gauntlet's Transmetal blades!)

Bizarro Shadowman: Grrr..... I'm NOT beginning to really, really like you!

(Bizarro Shadowman charges at Gauntlet, but Gauntlet turns into a log and is impervious to attacks!)

Negarro: What!?

(While Negarro is distracted, Topman uses a Top Spin with just enough force to destroy the evil copy!)

(Meanwhile, Bizarro Shadowman is pounding furiously at Gauntlet in his log form!)

Bizarro Shadowman: Why is my attacks working so well!! Shadowman always change into log!! It is logical!!

(Bizarro Shadowman is then hit from behind with needles and Magnet Missiles!)

Bizarro Shadowman: AGH!!!

(Gauntlet then pops out of log forum and uppercuts Bizarro into unconsciousness!)

Xelloss: Well, you sure made short work of them!

Gauntlet: Xelloss!! Stop doing that!

Xelloss: So now what do you suppose your going to do with Bizarro Shadowman here??

Hardman: Oh! Oh! I know! Let's reprogram him to be our butler!

Magnetman: Nah, we tried that already.

Hardman: Really??

Sparkman: It ended badly.

Xelloss: Gentlemen. If I may make a suggestion.

(Later, at Legion of Doom Headquarters....)

Mumm-ra: Timmy!!!! Mwa-ha-hah Timmy!

Skeletor: So what will our next insidious plot be??

Galvatron: I still say our last plan had merit. We just need to make the plague stronger -

(Suddenly, Bizarro Shadowman crashed into the room!)

Galvarton: Whhhhat!?

Krang: Who dares!

Bizarro Shadowman: Resistance is futile. You will all be assimilated!

(And, back in LA)

Snakeman: Hm.....I guess things turned out all right after all ...

Needlegal: Yeah, and we learned something too....

Gauntlet: It's when we stop learning things that we have cause to worry.

Needlegal: We learned that a bad situation can be turned into something productive! Xelloss' suggestion of reprogramming Bizarro Shadowman to assimilate the Legion of Doom and to have them later search for the seven Dragonballs and bring them to us was a good example of thinking ahead!

Xelloss: Why thank you, Miss Needle! I do try my best.

Sparkman: Because we all know how well searching for the Dragonballs went LAST time!*

(*Series 1 #6)

Gauntlet: What?? We all had fun then didn't we?

Magnetman: Hey, I almost forgot about that!

Snakeman: Yeah! I've developed a new phobia thanks to you!!!

Gauntlet: Whoa! I sense some hostility! Maybe I better just go over here

(Gauntlet then leaps away and is chased by Magnet and Snake!)

Hardman: Wonder what that was about.

Sparkman: Remind me to tell you sometime.

Topman: Well, until recolored ninjas are considered quality characters, we are .... the Mechanical Maniacs!

THE END

Cast:
Sean as .....	Sparkman	Jacob as .....	Snakeman	Psycho Magnet as .....	Needlegal
Jonathan as .....	Hardman			Nightmare as .....	Topman
Lennon as .....	Geminiman	Titanium 91 as .....	Magnetman	Gauntlet as .....	Shadowman