By: Gauntlet (aka Shadowman)
Far, far away .... several super villains have come out of retirement and convene to discuss the best way to reestablish their supremacy. They are ... the Legion of Doom! And since one of their members, Galvatron, is already engaged in battles with the Megaman 3 team known as the Mechanical Maniacs, they have chosen to irritate that team with endless schemes and plots.
Doctor Claw: I hereby call this meeting of the Legion of Doom to order. That status of our last plan was ... total failure.
Skeletor: Who knew those other villains would have the exact same idea as us!?
Cobra Commander: I BLAME EVERYONE SAVE FOR MYSELF!!
Galvatron: Silence, fool!
No Heart: Aw, who really cares? We already got beat up dozens of times, one more can't hurt.
Krang: Now, now, No Heart, that's no way for a villain to think! We must be optimistic!
Beastor: BEASTOR HATE MONSTOR!!!
Mumm-ra: Mw-ha-hah! Timmah!
No Heart: I mean, I got beat by the friggin' Care Bears! After that .... well, how can I care about anything??
Doctor Claw: SILENCE ALL OF YOU!!!!!
Doctor Claw: Now, I have devised a plan. Using No Heart's and Skeletor's connections, I have managed to get a hold of someone who will be able to aid us. A villain from a MOVIE!!
Cobra Commander: INGENIOUS!
Galvatron: WHO did you manage to get, Doctor Claw?? That Turles guy? One of those ships from Independence Day? Beetlejuice?
Doctor Claw: Come out ..... EVIL QUEEN FROM SNOW WHITE!!!
Evil Queen: Greetings.
No Heart: Marvelous!
Krang: We can't lose this time!
Galvatron: Oh, I wouldn't be so sure of that......
Beastor: BEASTOR HATE MONSTOR!!!
Cobra Commander: Some of my genius must have rubbed off on you, Doctor!
Doctor Claw: Now then, Evil Queen, care to tell them the plan?
Evil Queen: Delighted. You will all ambush the Mechanical Maniacs later today in order to distract them from our true plan. After the attack I, as an ugly old woman, will give them a cursed apple. They will then choke on the apple and be placed in a deathlike slumber. We will then leave them be and never hear from them again!
Skeletor: An ingenious plan!
Krang: I love it! I'll stay behind in reserve ... in case anything goes wrong.
Galvatron: But if you are going to poison them anyway, why do we even have to bother attacking them? Couldn't you just poison them without the attack?
Evil Queen:..... No, we must ambush them first! It is absolutely necessary!!
Galvatron: Well, then why don't we simply kill them after they have been put in this deathlike slumber? Wouldn't that be better than just leaving them be?? And why disguise yourself at all? They haven't met you before. And why as an ugly old woman?
Evil Queen: SILENCE!!! I have been evil since before you were created! The plan is perfect and cannot be changed! Any deviation from the plan will result in UTTER FAILURE!!! We CANNOT kill!! The deathlike slumber is GOOD ENOUGH! A disguise is ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY because my beauty will distract them too much! And, yes, my disguise must be UGLY! UGLY AS SIN!!! DO YOU UNDERSTAND!?
Evil Queen: NEVER QUESTION THE PLAN!!
(Meanwhile, in outer space on the space barge of Metroid, Doctor Wily meets up with some old friends to aid him in his insidious plans....)
Wily: It's been a long time, guys.
Eggplant Wizard: So, King hippo, what have you been up to? Still going in the Punch out boxing championships?
King Hippo: Nah, I'm too old fer all that. Mostly I just lay around watching daytime TV. Howz about youz?
Eggplant Wizard: I'm great! I have my own cooking show where I use my culinary skills to make me millions! Who needs Olympus Land when you can make big bucks and have fun?
Mother Brain: So, Doctor Wily. What's the point of all this??
King Hippo: Yeah, my favorite soaps are coming back on!
Wily: Remember when we all used to team up to destroy Captain N?? Well, that was pretty fun, so I decided you could help me destroy the Mechanical Maniacs!
Mother Brain: "Destroy the Mechanical Maniacs"..... Why, exactly?
Wily: Well, they keep on foiling my brilliant plans!
Mother Brain: These "brilliant plans"..... what exactly do they involve lately?
Wily: Lately? Well, bothering Megaman has gotten me nowhere, so lately I've been trying to kill the Mechanical Maniacs.
Mother Brain: So, in other words, your mad at them for staying alive despite you trying to kill them. Geez, Wily, I remember when you used to want to rule the world!
Wily: See, THIS is why you were the leader. Anyways, will you all help me.
Mother Brain: Oh, I guess.
Eggplant Wizard: Sure, why not?
King Hippo: I guess I can tape Oprah.....
Mother Brain: Well, I guess I can come up with a plan.
(Elsewhere, on Earth, the Mechanical Maniacs continue on their journey southwards following the Chromaton particles. With their teleporters broken and all their money stolen the journey has been a long one. They are on another empty, dusty road traveling ever southwards.)
Gauntlet: Now THAT'S CONFIDENTIAL!!!
Needlegal: Nah, Xelloss' one is better.
Gauntlet: Aw, dammit.
Xelloss: Well, keep at it Mister Gauntlet, I'm sure you'll come up with something.
Snakeman: Damn, I can't believe how long we've been walking.
Hardman: And we're still stuck in the middle of nowhere.
Needlegal: At least we managed to ditch Frankie.
Hardman: Yeah, I wouldn't have believed that having your own personal butler could be so irritating! He never got anything right!
Magnetman: Well, you could probably blame it on the lobotomy Gauntlet gave him.
Xelloss: Yes, it was very clever of all of you to tell him to search for those seven Dragonballs. Who knows, he may actually find them!
Gauntlet: Yeah .... if they even really exist!
Xelloss: Anyway, I'm sad to say I must take my leave. Some important matters have come up that require my immediate attention.
Snakeman: So .... your leaving??
Magnetman: Good riddance!
(Xelloss files high.)
Xelloss: Don't worry, I'm sure we'll all meet again! In the meantime, I believe these will come in handy on your journey.
(Xelloss tosses down several small objects that were hidden in a pouch in his cape.)
Topman: OUR WALLETS!!!
Gauntlet:: AND MY COUNTERFEIT MONEY MACHINE!!
Needlegal: AND MY PURSE!!!
Xelloss: Yes, for you see I am the one who stole them in the first place!
The 'Maniacs: AAAAHHHH!!!!
Sparkman: Why ..... you .....
Xelloss: I thought you would have it too easy if you had access to all your money! The way things went were so much more interesting, don't you all think?
Needlegal: No, Xelloss, we don't think so!
Xelloss: Well, maybe I'll make it up to you the next time we meet. Until, then my friends....
Gauntlet: Xelloss! I hate that Xelloss!
Someone: Well, who'd have thought we'd meet up again? And under these circumstances as well?
Topman: Hunh? Who are you??
Someone: Well, I have changed my look since we last met. I am Shival! I used to be Needleman before Gauntlet's sister joined up.*
(*Shival, as Flamethrowerman, left the Mechanical Maniacs in Series 1, Solo Story #8.)
Geminiman: I remember you from that party we all had!*
(*Series 2 #12)
Gauntlet: So, what brings you around here, Shival?
Shival: Same thing as you, probably.
Sparkman: Ah, so your following the chromaton particles as well!
Shival: Hunh? No, man. Haven't you heard?
Needlegal: Heard what?
Shival: There's a huge time distortion over at the South Pole! I thought I may go check it out. The Super Friends are already there. I've lost my teleporter since I abandoned my Needleman identity, so I had to hoof it there. I can't believe you haven't heard about this.
Magnetman: Yeah, well .... we've had some money problems thanks to a certain jackass! So we haven't been able to watch much TV.
Needlegal: All we've had to eat lately are low-grade energon scraps! SCRAPS! Not even entire cubes!
Shival: Ouch. Well, it seems that the chromaton particles are also leading to the time distortion. That would make sense, since time distortions would emit chromaton particles. So, we may as well rent a jet or something and fly over there.
Gauntlet: First we get food! The time distortion can wait.
Someone: But yer ass-whooping definitely CAN'T wait one minute longer!!!
Magnetman: Who the hell are you guys!?
Mr. Satan: Who!? I'm Mr. Satan! I'm here to get revenge for what you did to me after that Cell fiasco!*
(*Series 3 #11)
Dan: And I'm Dan, master martial artist!
Joxer: And I'm Joxer the Mighty here to kick that copycat Magnetman's ass! Never steal my bit! I'm the mighty one!
Sparkman: Titanium! You didn't make that up!?
Magnetman: Well, no.....
Topman: For shame, Titanium 91. For shame.
Magnetman: Well, it's not like I actually say it all that much!
Magnetman: Oh shut up!
Dan: We've decided we're the most powerful people on Earth and we're gonna prove it by beating you all up!
(Hardman shoots his Hard Knuckles and send the three flying off!)
Dan: Oop! Better luck next time!
Joxer: Ooh, I hate it when this happens!
Mr. Satan: It looks like we're ..... flying off agaiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnn........
(The three disappear from view.)
Hardman: If that's the worst thing that happens today, I'll be *so* happy.
(Suddenly, the Mechanical Maniacs are struck with several blasts ! Out come the Legion of Doom, minus Krang, from behind huge rocks!)
Cobra Commander: Keep firing! They'll be unconscious soon enough!
Galvatron: Why stop there? We want these fools DEAD!
Krang: (Over the radio) Remember, the plan Galvatron.
(Magnetman fires a missile into the path of the beams, disrupting them, and the 'Maniacs scatter!)
Beastor: BEASTOR HATE MONSTOR!!!
(Beastor then lunges at Hardman, but Hardman's strength is a match for the monster's, and they grapple for supremacy!)
Doctor Claw: (over headsets in Cobra Commander's helmet) Remember the plan! We must make sure the Mechanical Maniacs are disoriented enough to fall for the Evil Queen's plans!
Cobra Commander: Roger, Claw! Keep forward my minions!!
Galvatron: WHO'S a minion!?
No Heart: Meh. I really couldn't care less about all this.
(Skeletor is slicing at Sparkman with his staff!)
Skeletor: You will fall this day, machine!
(Sparkman sends volts of electricity through the ground, but Skeletor shrugs them off!)
Sparkman: Damn! How - AGH!
(Sparkman is blasted from behind by Mumm-ra!)
Mumm-ra: Mw ha ha hah!
Wily: Alright, Maniacs, prepare to meet your doom thanks to my latest invention - the power sucker!!
Galvatron: Stand aside, human! The 'Maniacs are ours!
King Hippo: I think not, sissy! Their ours!
Eggplant Wizard: That's right!
Mother Brain: All their powers shall belong to me! And then I will conquer all of Video Land!
Cobra Commander: Fat chance! WE shall be the ones to defeat the 'Maniacs and then WE will conquer this "Video Land" out of SPITE! HAH!
King Hippo: Hey, that's not very nice!
No Heart: Well, we're not very nice people.
Wily: I think it's time we taught you has-beens a lesson!
Galvatron: Just who are you calling a "has-been"!?
Skeletor: Beastor! Let's get 'em!
Beastor: BEASTOR HATE MONSTOR!!!
(Beastor and Skeletor charge at the Captain N villains!)
Eggplant Wizard: Oh, no you don't!
(Eggplant Wizard bomps the two on the head with his staff and turns them into eggplants!)
Doctor Claw: They cannot do that to us!! Attack!!
Cobra Commander: AAATTTTAAACCCKKKK!!!!!
Galvatron: I'd like to see them turn ME into an eggplant!
(Galvatron transforms into a cannon and blasts Doctor Wily out of the sky!)
(Wily gets blown out of sight!)
Hardman: I get the distinct impression they've forgotten about us.
Shival: What should we do??
Gauntlet: In these circumstances, it's best just to lay back and watch. We gotta teach these guys to stop bugging us, so, when their done, we'll swoop in and finish the winner off ourselves!
(King Hippo is easily knocked out by a blast from Mumm-ra! Eggplant Wizard manages to turn Cobra Commander into an eggplant before No Heart drains all the caring out of him and he turns monochrome and stands helplessly, drooling all the while. Mother Brain uses her brain blasts to keep the rest of the Legion at bay, but she cannot last forever....)
Mother Brain: Damn that Doctor Wily! This was all his idea!
Galvatron: Keep on pushing! We can destroy her!
(Suddenly, everyone in the area is hit with a blast of energy!)
No Heart: What's going on?!
Someone: Mwa ha hah...... My plan WORKED! It was a complete success! Soon I shall be top dog! The big kahuna! The big cheese who is known as, and is none other than...I ... Mojo-jojo!!!!
Needlegal: Mojo-jojo!?What the Hell are you doing here??
Mojo-jojo: What am I doing here you ask? Well, I will tell you. I am blasting you with my brain scrambler ray! It will scramble your brains and make you obey only me and me alone! And that is nobody else but me! I was on my way to Antarctica to capture the heroes there, but I came upon you guys before then, so I decided it would be no trouble blasting you first. That is before Iarrived at my destination which is Antartica. So here you are getting blasted by the ray gun that I made and soon you will obey me and only me for that is what the ray gun does-and was MEANT TO DO! And then I will use you all to help me defeat the Powerpuff Girls and than to take over all of Townsville!!! And there's -
Magnetman: Alright, shut up! We get the point.
(Gauntlet tries to throw a Shadowblade, but the ray makes it hard for him to think and he misses .... badly.)
Mojo-jojo: Ha hah! I have already thought of that! My brain drain will make it hard for you to think! HAH!
Mumm-ra: Mwa- blah - bluh ..... hunh? What's going on here??
Galvatron: The ray has cured Mumm-ra's mind!
Mumm-ra: Ancient Spirits of Evil ...... transform this decayed form ... to Mumm-ra ... the Ever .... Living!!! Mwa-hah-hah-hah-ha!!!!!
(Mumm-ra bulks up to ten times his original size and becomes his warrior form! The mystical energies short circuit Mojo-jojo's ray and fee everyone from it's effects!)
Mumm-ra: You! Ape! You will learn the folly of challenging Mumm-ra!!
(Mumm-ra blasts Mojo and throws him out of sight!)
Mumm-ra: Who are all of you?? Where is Lion-O?
No Heart: Mumm-ra, you don't remember us?
Mumm-ra: No. My memory is fogged as if a strange spell was placed upon me. But it matters not. Where is Lion-O and his Thundercats? The sword of Omens will be mine!
Shival: Um ...... (points in a random direction) that way.
Mumm-ra: Then I will go and destroy those Thundercats! Mwa-ha-hah!!
(Mumm-ra flies off!)
Doctor Claw: NO!!! It's all going to hell! Krang get down there!
Krang: Roger, Doctor Claw!
(Krang goes through his Trans-dimensional Portal and goes straight to the battlefield!)
Geminiman: It's Krang! Be ready for anything!
Krang: Alright, 'Maniacs! Prepare to die. Sorry I didn't come sooner Galvatron! And as for you .... you ...
(Krang and Mother Brain stare at each other.)
Mother Brain: I thought that I ...... was the only one!
Krang: So lonely all this time....
Mother Brain: Oh ... there's so much to talk about! So much to say!
Krang: Hush! Let's not talk at all!
(Krang flings himself into Mother Brain's arms and they both teleport back to Metroid ... to be alone...eeeewwwwww.)
Galvatron: Aw, crap.
No Heart: You know what? I don't need this. I'm goin' back to the home. Matlock's coming on.
(No Heart transforms into a tornado and flies off.)
Snakeman: Man. I don't think we'll hear from those two again.
Gauntlet: Well .... it looks like your all alone this time, Galvatron.
Magnetman: I don't suppose you'd like to take us all on after all that.
Galvatron: Oh, we'll fight alright ..... but it will be on MY terms, battledroid!
(Galvatron flies off.)
Topman: Hh. I'd say that went fairly well, don't you?
Old Woman: Excuse me, but I couldn't help but see you all battle. Tell, me .... would you like an apple?
(And, over in the Legion of Doom's base....)
Doctor Claw: CURSES!!! (Hits table.) It's fallen apart! Mumm-ra, Krang ... even No Heart! Now .... I'll never prove that I can compete with these new villains.
(Alarms are heard throughout the base.)
Doctor Claw: The alarms! We ... I have an intruder! But who???
(Doctor Claw activates his veiwscreen.)
Doctor Claw: GADGET!! What in blazes is he doing in here!? What in ... NO!!! He's in the main control center!! Where are my guards .....? NO!!! The self destruct button!
(The building begins to shake and loose objects attached to the building fall down.)
Doctor Claw: CURSE YOU!!!! I'LL GET YOU NEXT TIME, GADGET! NEXT TIME!!!
(Doctor Claw activates the MAD plane and it bursts free from the building and begins to fly off, however, it has not been used in many, many years and so it's engines fail and it crashes on the unforgiving ground!)
(Meanwhile ... in the South Pole ....)
Superman: Not even I can break through that barrier. What in blazes could be strong enough to keep even me through.
Player 2: Hmph. Maybe you should ask the Toyman! Or one of your other stupid enemies.
Tick: Egads! You don't suppose it could be some sort of alien, do you!?
Cyclops: That may very well be, Tick. Just so long as it isn't another mutant!
Batman: Hold on ... I'm feeding all our information into the bat computer. It will tell us who the culprit is!
(Soon a thin strip of paper is spat out.)
Batman: It says, "Yellow green purple monkey face"! Obviously this is some sort of clue. Hm..... Gorilla Grodd is a monkey! And Mister Mxyzptk has a yellow costume! And, like all villains King Tut has a face! By this deductive reasoning, those three have formed some sort of alliance and have created this barrier in order to keep up out of their secret headquarters while they use their combined skill to turn the world's leaders into dehydrated piles of dust! DIABOLICAL!
Wonder Woman: You're relying much too much on that bat computer., Batman. It hasn't been working right since 1986.
(Suddenly, several people come onto the scene!)
Red Ranger: Alright, nobody panic! The Power Rangers are here!
Blue Ranger: Zordon sent us to check on this anomaly. He says it can be no good!
Player 2: Hey! Beat it, kids!
Wheeler: So, this is the place, eh? It's pretty cold!
Linka: Da, comerade Wheeler! It's the North Pole after all!
Jubilee: Actually, this is the SOUTH pole.
Kwame: We are the planeteers, I THINK we know which pole it is better than you do, city dweller!
Bruce Lee:... Look ......
(A black portal has opened and a lone figure steps out....)
Green Ranger: Who is it??
Someone else: Heh heh heh..... So, everyone's here are they? I'm flattered you all thought enough of this to come.
Batman: YOU AREN'T KING TUT!!
Quint: No, I am QUINT! Master of time! Not even all of you COMBINED can stop this plan!!!
So, does that mean Quint is the mastermind of this scheme all this time?? And just how exactly does he expect to defeat all the heroes combined? What is his insidious plot!? And since when does he have the power to cause problems with time itself? All shall be revealed in the final issue of Series 3!!
TO BE CONTINUED.........
Sean as .....
Jacob as .....
Psycho Magnet as .....
Jonathan as .....
Nightmare as .....
Lennon as .....
Titanium 91 as .....
Gauntlet as .....