by Top Man
The day starts in the morning at the Tchnodrome, because Nightmare's watch is broken so it's always 9:35 a.m.
Needle: Hello everyone! How goes it?
Needle: Hey, Snake, what's shakin?
Needle: Who's up for a game of bowling?
Needle: EVERYONE WHO'S A BASTARD GRUNT NOW!
Nightmare: Sorry Needlegal, it's just we all had a really bad sleep last night.
Spark: Yeah. I just kept tossing and turning.
Magnet: So you can understand why we really aren't very energetic.
Needle: Ok, you guys want some coffee?
Needle: Then MAKE IT YOURSELF! I'M NOT YOUR MAID!
And so, after the best part of waking up, with Folgers in their cups, the Mechanical Maniacs return to their daily business.
Hard: Mmph.... Needle wanted to.... *snicker* go BOWLING!!!
Needle: Shut up!
Gemini: So seriously, what do you all wanna do?
Nightmare: Well, I'm just gonna *runs away*
Snake: Dammit, I hate when he does this!
Spark: *sigh* Get the tranquilizer darts!
Hard: G'day mate! T'day we'ah gonna learn how to hunt the elusive Top Man. Now, he does bite, so I suggest you keep absolutely quiet. Krikey!
Gemini: Stop insulting Crocodile Hunter... it's a good show!!!
All: AAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHA!
Gemini: SHUT UP!!!
Nightmare: Yes, it's almost complete! Those other guys said I was mad, but who's mad now????
Crazy Bob: Duuuuhhhhhh MEE! HAHAHAH!
Nightmare: *takes a step away from Crazy Bob* Just one more adjustment.... yes... good, it is time. Throw the switch, Igor! *gets konked in the head by the switch* OW!!!
Nightmare: AHAHAHAHAH! It's alive.... ALIVE I TELL YOU!
Igor: Uh, Sir, no it's not. I mean, it's just a hover-top!
Nightmare: Yes, of course. But it works!!!! AHAHAHAHAH!
Igor: So, I take it you're going on a spree?
Nightmare: Spree, romp, gambol, whatever you want to call it. But Spree I Shall!!! AHAHAHAHAH!
Igor: STOP WITH THE LAUGHING!
Nightmare: Yes, of course....heh...heheh...
The mechanical maniacs arrive to find...
Needle: He's gone!
Gemini: Damn you, McDoogle! I'll get you someday! MCDOOOOOOOOOOOOOGLLLLLLLLEEEEEE!!!
Snake: Shut up.
Magnet: Look, it's some guy!
Igor: Yes, I am Igor.
Spark: Where did geeky go?
Hard: The guy in tights.
Igor: Ah yes, he went on a spree.
Nightmare: YAHHOOOOOOOOOOOO! WEEE!!! I love this! *crashes* AHAHAHAHA! *destroys a building* Ow.... haha! This rocks!
Police: This is the police!
Nightmare: Duh, who else would be talking to me over a megaphone?
Police: We know you're in there!
Nightmare: OF COURSE YOU DO! I JUST TALKED TO YOU!
Police: Now we don't want to start a fight here...
Nightmare: Then why did you send in the S.W.A.T. team?
Police: We're all friends here, right?
Nightmare: Of course not! I just met you and already you're pointing guns at me!
Police: So let's just calm down!
Nightmare: You're not even listening to a word I'm saying!
Police: Yes, we believe you, but that's no reason to be terrorizing the town!
Nightmare: What?! ARE YOU STUPID?!
Police: Now come down quietly and noone gets hurt.
Nightmare: SHEESH! I'm out of here! *flies away*
Police: See how easy it is when we all cooperate?
Other Police guy: Uh, chief, he's gone.
Police: Now we don't want any hostility here...
Other Police guy: ARGH!
Needle: Boy, it's a good thing we planted a homing chip in his head.
Snake: Why did we do that?
Spark: He was always hiding in the pantry, eating all our junk food.
Snake: Oh yeah!
Hard: Hey guys, have you ever noticed how lame the jokes are in Nightmare's epilogues?
Magnet: Yes, so?
Hard: I just never noticed they were so lame.
Gemini: You'll get used to them... like I got used to that bullet wound in 'Nam!
Magnet: On the other hand, sometimes they reach a new stage of lame.
Snake: Ugh, let's just keep following him.
Spark: Agreed. Who knows what he's done by now? Well, at least it's only been *looks at watch* GOOD LORD! IT'S ALREADY AN HOUR!
Needle: I'm amazed the planet is still intact!
Gemini: Let's pick up the pace!
And in the Sahara...
Nightmare: Ohhhhhh.... whiskey and chocolate milk should NEVER be mixed... ugh.
Guy: Hello, grasshopper-san.
Guy: Hello, grasshopper-san.
Guy: *sighs* Hello, grasshopper-san.
Guy: Well, directly translated, it means... "Yo, 'sup!"
Nightmare: Ahh... Well, um, why do you care?
Guy: Because I will be... your destruction!
Nightmare: Ummm, pardon me?
Guy: What, you don't recognize me?
Nightmare: Come to think of it, you do look a bit like Wily. You're not Wily, are you?
Guy: Everybody always says, "Wow, you look like that notorious scientist, Wily." Why can't anyone say to Wily "Wow, you look like that notorious teacher, Picone?"
Mr. Picone: MISTER PICONE! I'm in your damn "Real Life Wilys" Section.
Nightmare: Ohhh, yeah!
Mr. Picone: Now it's time for you to pay!
Nightmare: For what?
Mr. Picone: You stole that engine for your hover-top from MY car!
Nightmare: Look, this is all just a big misunder-*runs away*
Mr. Picone: That does not matter! *flies over Nightmare's head and starts dropping bombs*
Nightmare: What the hell? How can you do that?!
Mr. Picone: Well, I should suspect I look like Wily for a reason! He made me! I'm a ROBOT MASTER! (DWN 1003 a.k.a. Picone Man)
Nightmare: Good Lord! Too bad the mechs aren't here to help me! *sees a shooting plot-hole in the sky* Hey! I can wish upon a plot-hole! *closes eyes*
plot-hole light, plot-hole bright,
First plot-hole I see tonight,
I wish I may, I wish I might,
Have the wish I wish tonight.
I wish the Mechanical Maniacs were here!
Suddenly, the Mechanical Maniacs appear.
Needle: Hey, suddenly we appeared!
Gemini: *rolls eyes* Who would have thunkit?
Picone Man: Ah, good! A challenge! *Does a lame pose like all 8 bit mega man sprites did way back when*
Hard: Hard Knuckle! *It pushes him away swift as cake*
Nightmare: How the hell did you defeat him so quickly?!
Spark: He was 8-bit!
Snake: Anyone could have done it!
Magnet: Even you, tights boy!
Nightmare: They're not tights! I didn't even make the pic! Capcom did! I just added the sweet hovertop!
Hard: Nyah, shuddup!
Snake: Well, I guess everything turned out right after all.
Needle: And we learned 3 things today, too!
Spark: That Harry Potter is too over-rated?
Gemini: That Lord Of The Rings is a kickass book, and an amazing movie?
Magnet: That Wily has way too much time on his hands when he makes a robot master called Picone Man?
Needle: Yes, actually! Wow, I didn't even have to say them this time!
Top: Until Wily creates a Harry Potter Robot Master, we'll be ... the Mechanical Maniacs!
Now, whether or not you noticed, something was VERY wrong about this epilogue. Maybe you noticed, maybe you didn't. Oh no you don't! No re-reading it now that you know that there is definately something wrong! It's not that hard, come on, think! If you know what it is, send an email titled "Epilogue Contest" and the five things that are wrong. You must have all five. At the end of the month, I, Topman, will print up all the names, and randomly pull them out of a hat. The winner will be awarded a guest appearance in an upcoming epilogue. Happy hunting, no cheating, and yes, I know the prize aint all that thrilling, but what do you expect? I'm still in debt for having my allowances advanced so I could get Gamecube! I can't afford extravagent prizes! You may only enter the contest once.
**Contest is now long over.**
Sean as .....
Jacob as .....
Psycho Magnet as .....
Jonathan as .....
Nightmare as .....
Lennon as .....
Titanium 91 as .....
Gauntlet as .....