By Gauntlet (Shadowman)
Not too long ago ..... in a galaxy far, far away......
Darth Vader: Admiral Piett - REPORT!
Piett: Our ships have intercepted the vessel, however ......
Darth Vader: Yes?
Piett: However, the item was not aboard........
(Vader glares at Piett and suddenly he is choking!)
Darth Vader: You are as incompetent as you are stupid!
(Piett falls to the floor, dead.)
(Vader points in a random direction.)
Darth Vader: YOU are the admiral now, Aala!
Aala: Yes, Lord Vader!
Darth Vader: Where has the item been sent?
Aala: Sensors read it has been sent to .... Earth.
Darth Vader: Then take us there, and ..... do not fail me again!
(Elsewhere, the Mechanical Maniacs are having trouble of their own....)
Voltman: You've returned only to be DESTROYED, Mechanical Maniacs!
(Voltman shoots out electrical charged field which the team avoids!)
Iceman: Geez, what's with you guys!? I thought you all agreed to go straight!
Dynaman: Yeah, well .... WE CHANGED OUR MINDS!
(Gutsman and Hardman use their combined strength attacks to knock the PC team to the floor!)
Bitman: Death to the pretenders! Only the REAL Sinister Six will survive!
Bombman: THAT'S US!
Oilman: NO, that's US!
Topman: So, what's this about?
Shadowman: Apparently, they're mad that Torchman's dead and Sharkman isn't speaking to them.
Elecman: Well, that may be so, but that doesn't give them the right to take their frustrations out on us.
Sonicman: LIFE SUCKS!!! TAKE THIS, WORLD!!
(Sonicman blasts sonic waves all across the city causing much collateral damage.)
Waveman: You're all a bunch of nobodies! Why should people like you!? We're all .... "official" too! We were licensed, man - LICENSED! But what did they do? The man went and .... replaced us with PHONIES! He even made another Waveman and .... that hurt!
Blademan: YOU ALL SUCK!!!
Hardman: Geez, just have a pint and shut up!
Sparkman: Yeah! Just think on the plus side! I'm chalk full of that positive energy through and through!
Blademan: Shut up, hippie!
Sparkman: Well, that wasn't nice....
Needlegal: Alright, I've had just about enough of you!
(Needlegal fires needles everywhere and the PC team flees in terror.)
Bitman: We'll be back! Just you wait and seeeeeeeeeeeee!
Snakeman: Hm.....I guess things turned out all right after all ...
Shadowman: Hm..... much earlier than usual.
Magnetman: Maybe it's Karma. You know ..... the universe's way of balancing out all the crap with other dimensions and returning idiots.
Someone: Excuse me.
*Everyone looks down to see a strange short man.)
Magnetman: ..... yes?
Someone: You wouldn't happen to be the esteemed "Magnetman" of the "Mechanical Maniacs" would you?
Magnetman: Um..... why yes I am.
Someone: OH, GOODIE! I've always wanted to meet one of my fans! I've traveled a long, LONG way to meet with you!
Geminiman: Uh, excuse me, but who the heck are you?
Someone: Oh, you wound me! I am none other than the NOID!
Topman: The ..... Noid?
Noid: That's right! THE NOID!
Noid: Of Dominoes Pizza!
Noid: AVOID THE NOID!
Topman: Oh .... I see......
Noid: Well, you see I have received this quite moving letter from Magnetman over here and since it has moved me so I have come here to meet that scholar and gentleman who wrote it! Magnetman!
Magnetman: But I didn't!
Noid: Oh, don't be so modest! And, naturally, I shall allow you all the Dominoes pizza you can eat!
Needlegal: (whispering) Gauntlet .... what's going on here?
Shadowman: (whispering) It appears Noid has confused the current Magnetman with the former Magnetman, Titanium 91. Oh, well, at least we get free pizza!
Shadowman: Yes, Magnetman is very humble indeed! Sure you can hang out with us, Noid! You AND you're many pizzas!
Noid: Oh, goodie! NOID!!!
(Elsewhere, the Decepticons confer in their underground base......)
Thrust: Job's done, Galvatron! Those pests The Planeteers are locked up.
Soundwave: Sensors indicate a large amount of energy stored within their rings. Sufficient for creating energon cubes.
Galvatron: How ironic. Those kids pride themselves on their love of the planet and now their power will help destroy it!
Starscream: Aren't you going to congratulate me on this great victory, Galvatron?
Galvatron: Congratulate you, Starscream? Don't be stupid. They were mere children. Easy pickings! I'd sooner see you do something productive and find some Kryptonite!
Starscream: But .... but those Planeteers were harder than they looked! I -
Galvatron: Silence, Starscream or I will SILENCE YOU!
Waspinator Why Galvatron call us? What is next job?
Galvatron: I have word that Darth Vader is coming to Earth.
Starscream: Not another stupid person I've never heard of! Why can't we fight the AUTOBOTS?
Galvatron: Leave the thinking to me, Starscream! You're not good at it. Vader is looking for something ..... I don't know what, but I know those meddlesome Mechanical Maniacs are involved in it somehow! Find out what he wants! And bring it to ME!
Starscream: As you wish, oh glorious Galvatron.....
Galvatron: Starscream ..... I know that look .... don't betray me! You know what happened the last time!
Starscream: ..... How could I forget?
Galvatron: And when this is all over ...... I shall reign supreme!
(Suddenly, Galvatron reels in agony as every nerve in his being is set afire!)
Starscream: But remember, of "mighty" Galvatron ..... you belong to him!
Starscream: Cyclonus! Waspinator! Let's go. We can take those pitiful battledroids by ourselves! Let's go!
(The three leave as Galvatron continues to scream in agony.)
(Meanwhile, Vader finally arrives in Earth orbit.)
Aala: We have arrived, Lord Vader.
(Suddenly, Aala begins to choke.)
Aala: Ahh ... agh .... ahh...
Darth Vader: *Looks evilly at Aala*
Aala: But .... I ..... haven't .... done .... anything ....
Darth Vader: You shall not question my judgment again!
(Aala crumples to the ground - dead.)
Darth Vader: (Points in a random direction) YOU are the admiral now!
Motti: M-me? Linel is more qualified -
Darth Vader: Do you dare question my judgment?
Darth Vader: ........ Very well. Go to Earth and retrieve the item - IMMEDIATELY .... or suffer the same fate as all fools.
Motti: At once, sir!
(A shuttles disembarks from Vader's ship. Meanwhile, the Mechanical Maniacs have trouble of their own......)
Iceman: AVOID THE NOID!
Noid: AVOID THE NOID!
Bombman: AVOID THE NOID!
Sparkman: AVOID THE NOID!!
(Spark, Bomb, Ice, and the Noid all run rampant throughout Sinister Six headquarters.)
Gutsman: Aw, crap! The last thing we need is that Noid idiot riling everyone up!
Elecman: Don't be such a spoil sport, Tim. Their just having fun.
Noid: AVOID THE NOID!
(Noid tosses a pizza in Magnetman's face!)
Magnetman: Agh! It's HOT!
Noid: Hahahaaahahah! I'm NOID the MIGHTY! Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh
Noid the Mighty,
Never goes Potty!
Magnetman: (whispering to Gauntlet) Can I PLEASE tell him I'm not Titanium?
Shadowman: (whispering) Oh, there's no REAL harm being done!
Noid: I'm NOOOOID! NOID the MIGH-TYYYYYYYYYY!
Sparkman: I'm filled with all this positive energy!
Magnetman: Alright, that's IT! Noid!
Noid: Oh, yes, my biggest fan?
Magnetman: The Magnetman who wrote you? That was Titanium 91, the OLD Magnetman! I am NOT Titanium 91! I AM Jonathan S!
Noid: Then ..... this whole time you've been lying to me?
Magnetman: Yes, I'm afraid so.
Noid: But ... why would you do such a thing.
Shadowman: The free pizzas of course! Why else?
Noid: Oh, God ..... I feel so used.
Shadowman: It's probably a side effect of being used.
Needlegal: GAUNTLET! How can you be so callus?
Noid: I .... I..... I think I had better leave.
Shadowman: I think so too.
Elecman: Geez, Gaunt. Be a little more harsh. Come-on, Noid, I'll help you feel better.
Magnetman: Geez, Noid, I'm sorry -
Noid: I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR LIES!
(Noid storms off.)
Needlegal: Gauntlet, I'm shocked!
Topman: Yeah! You're a jerk! (Hits Shadowman on the arm.)
Sparkman: What happened to all that positive energy? Now I'm all negative!
Shadowman: *Hrumph* Well, while Titanium may have liked the pest, I've always disliked the Noid!
(Suddenly, the Decepticons arrive through a wall of the base!)
Cyclonus: Alright, Mechanical Maniacs - HAND IT OVER!
Iceman: MY WALL!
Hardman: Hand WHAT over?
Starscream: Whatever Darth Vader is so interested in!
Topman: Darth Vader?
(Suddenly, a ship crashes through another wall! Admiral Motti and several Storm Troopers spill out of the ship!)
Motti: Alright, Mechanical Maniacs, hand it over!
Hardman: Hand WHAT over!? What do you people want?
Geminiman: Perhaps my .... super genius powers can figure it out!
Needlegal: "Super" WHAT powers!?
Snakeman: HAH! I'm going for the doctorate in mathematics, I think my genius powers are superior to YOURS!
Geminiman: Oh, PLEASE! Not only am I a swordsmaster, but I am also half human in a weird experiment made by Wily! Furthermore I invented many things such as mind wipe crystals AND Master Light taught me enough fighting skill to rival even Shadowman.
Needlegal: Again with the "Master" stuff....
Shadowman: You rival me in WHAT!?
Snakeman: Big deal! I owned a business of my own even before I became Snakeman AND since then I created my "invisibility" power!
Iceman: *ahem*, but if it's a question of genius power, I think Andon over here's got both of you nailed!
Elecman: Now, now .... I don't like being called a genius ..... But perhaps it isn't far off.
Geminiman: Is that what you think!?
Snakeman: I could out-math BOTH of you with my EYES closed!
Starscream: Excuse me....
Topman: Hey, I don't mean to brag here, but did you all forget about ME?
Snakeman: What have YOU done?
Elecman: I must agree with the others.
Topman: This is just Topman's BODY! I am - in reality - a Godlike individual who has powers far, far beyond anything this pathetic dimension could whip up! Extant has nothing on me! Since I can probably warp reality anything I say goes and I say I am the real genius here.
Elecman: How absurd!
Snakeman: Oh, REALLY? And just when do you use these "powers"?
Starscream: Ex-CUSE me...
Topman: In this dimension, my powers are pretty limited, but you gotta know that if I really went out I could probably destroy the whole world!
Cutman: Since WHEN!?
Topman: Since ALWAYS!
Gutsman: I don't think I can believe THAT!
Iceman: Yeah, I mean, weren't you killed by King once?
Topman: He took me by surprise!
Shadowman: Alright, That's it....
(Shadowman chucks a Shadowblade at Topman, Geminiman, and Elecman's forehead sending them flying into a wall! The robots crash to the floor, all still with Shadowblades stuck in their heads They all being to drool and twitch.)
Shadowman: THERE! Now I'M the smartest!
Needlegal: Oh, you think you're smarter than ME!? You should see my test scores!
Starscream: DO YOU MIND!? I'M TRYING TO PICK A FIGHT OVER HERE! STOP SQUABBLING AND PAY ATTENTION TO ME, DAMN YOU!
Waspinator Hmmmm .... Waspinator think Wily bots one diode short of electro-brain!
(Suddenly, Darth Varder crashes through the ceiling!)
Motti: Lord Vader!
Iceman: Aw, for - doesn't anybody use the fucking door anymore!?
Darth Vader: Motti, have you acquired the Noid yet!?
Motti: Lord Vader!? I just got here!
Darth Vader: I grow weary of excuses!
(Darth Vader uses his light saber to kill Motti!)
Darth Vader: I will only ask once - where is the Noid!? Tell me or I will promote you to admiral .... and then kill you!
Cyclonus: The NOID? You were after the Noid all this time?
Starscream: I will not allow myself to be mocked ... I am STARSCREAM!
Waspinator Hvvvvvmmm..... Why dark fleshy bot after Noid?
Darth Vader: He has *Hhhhh* collector's value.
Starscream: "Collector's value"!? I am not here for "collector's value"!!
Magnetman: Well, you're too late. He left a bitter and broken man only moments ago.
Darth Vader: Damn. Yet again the Noid eludes my grasp!
Starscream: This is IT! I am OUT OF HERE!
Cyclonus: For once, we agree!
Waspinator Wait for Waspinator!
(The Decepticons leave.)
Darth Vader: If the Noid is not here, I too will depart.
(The Darth Vader theme plays as Vader and the Storm Troopers leave.)
Shadowman: Jeez! Darth Vader AND the Decepticons all in one day! And we didn't even fight anyone but those loser PC team people! I'm almost ...... disappointed....
Magnetman: Yeah, but ...... the Noid ....
(Later, Darth Vader boards his ship...)
Darth Vader: (Points in a random direction) YOU are the Admiral NOW!
Lozzel: But I am just a janitor!
(Vader blasts Lozell with the force, killing him instantly!)
Darth Vader: INCOMPETENTS! I will tolerate no more excuses! ...... Where is everyone!? I need SOMEONE to drive the ship away! Where is my crew!?
(And, later still, on the outskirts of Mega Land ....)
Noid: There is ..... nothing left for me here .....
Magnetman: We're all real sorry for using you so cruelly, Noid ..... even Gauntlet.
Shadowman: Yeah (I guess).
Magnetman: And ..... I would be honored if I could call you friend.
Noid: Then ...... Then you're saying you're one of my few remaining (but intensely loyal) fans!? That you would endorse my campaign to return to Dominoes as their official mascot!?
Magnetman: Uh .....
Noid: Oh, callu-callay! Happy day! I have a new special friend!
Magnetman: "Special friend"?!
Sparkman: Ahhhh, I feel that good 'ol positive energy flowing again!
Sparkman: Hm.....I guess things turned out all right after all ...
Needlegal: Yeah, and we learned something too....
Shadowman: To "avoid the Noid"?
Needlegal: We learned that the Noid is a pretty sad individual. He pretty much lived to reclaim what was, at best an obscure and short-lived role in commercials.
Needlegal: But we also learned that Shadowman is pretty cruel at times too. And that doesn't say much about him as a person.
Needlegal: So, I guess, in the end, we learned to be more wary of people that we meet. They might turn out to be clingy has-beens or thoughtless ninjas.
Shadowman, Noid: Hey!
Hardman: Gauntlet, I think you might've gave those poor guys permanent brain damage.
Shadowman: So what? Lennon can come back from the dead, but CAN'T come back from permanent brain damage? *pffft*
Sparkman: Well, until Shadowman asks the Wizard for a heart, we are .... the Mechanical Maniacs!
|Musashiden Razz as .....||
|Hexlaser as .....||
|Psycho Magnet as .....||
|Hadrian Howell as .....||
|Nightmare as .....||
|Lennon as .....||
|Jonathan S. as .....||
|Gauntlet as .....||