By: Gauntlet, ClassiCal, Lennon (Geminiman), Searchman, Starnik, Nightmare (Topman), Ben (Magma Dragoon)
A note from Gauntlet: This story was originally written as an add-on story by several members of the Mechanical Maniacs' old EZboard forum. Note the multiple authors. I have saved this epilogue for a rainy day so to speak and so here we are with another "long lost" Mechanical Maniacs epilogue. Just so you all know, this epilogue takes place shortly after "Issue #20 - The Epilogue! (Spooky eh?)" by Topman (Nightmare).
It was a hot, hot day on the open road. The 'Maniacs are heading to Gotham city. The unbearable heat makes things uncomfortable for the team in their newest car, but only one thing can make it worse.......
The 'Maniacs: Rita Repulsa!
Rita: Stop! AHHHHHH!!!! I'll destroy you all!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Gauntlet: Damn it! Not that fucking freak again!!
Topman: So what do we do?
Needlegal: Should we get out and fight her?
Gauntlet: No way! There may be a chance we'll loose our wheels...*remembers the sad fate GroovyKat's Groovin' Mobile*
(Series 1 #6)
Magnetman: Why not leave it to me? Magnet the--
*before he could finish...Gauntlet stepped on the gas and floored it..running Rita over*
Topman: Or we could have done that....
Magnetman: -_-; Darn...
*suddenly, the gas tank and other vital parts begin to fall off the car*!
Needlegal: See, this is no good.
(And, who else but Quint should teleport in!)
Quint: My master will have you stopped!!
Suddenly Quint gets hit by Gemini Force.
Geminiman: Eat that Quint.
Topman: Hey look! A sign! *Gets hit by a pie*
Gauntlet: Don't just stand there what does it say?
Sparkman: Happy Happy Village?
Topman: Well...that sounds all right... better than Angry Angry Village...
Gauntlet: So I guess we're going there...maybe we can find parts for our damaged auto...
*The Mechs all leave the car and begin to walk on foot towards the city not too far off*
Magnetman: Hey look... *points to a buncha people all bouncing around happily and singing over to the side* ...These people really are happy!
Geminiman: Yeah...almost sickening...*raises an eyebrow*
Gauntlet: Something can't be right here. too screwy. Let's just turn right around and go somewhere else....
(What's left of the car crumples in a heap.)
Gauntlet: OK, so we steal one of these people's cars. They seem docile enough. What could happen?
The 'Maniacs: ........
*Gauntlet approaches a nice... new beetle?*
Gauntlet: What the fuck? I can't ride in this, isn't there a Sunfire, or a Viper?
*looks down the whole parking lot, and all of them are beetles*
Gauntlet: Oh well, might as well take this one with the flames paint job. *Opens door*
Beetle: Step away from the vehicle! Repeat step away from the vehicle!
Mechanical Maniacs: ...
Uh, isn't there a way to turn that racket off?
Gauntlet: Well, don't ask me. This has never happened to me before!
Snakeman: Gimme that..... (reached inside the hood and breaks something.)
Geminiman: Hey ... the noise .... it stopped!
Snakeman: All in the wrist.
A Happy Person: So what are you nice sparkly people doing here? *The guy gives a creepy grin...one of those "Howdy I'm yer friend forever ones"*
Sparkman: Is he referring to me?
Gauntlet: No..I think he's talking about our Transmetal armor... *Looks to the Happy Guy* Um...we were just...passing through...
Happy Person: Well isn't that just so swell? It looks as if you too have a beetle. Glad that you came to our Happy Happy Village...
Topman: Uh...sure..no prob..
Snakeman: *taps Gauntlet's shoulder* Incoming...more happy people!
*A huge crowd of smiling yuppies approach*
*The crowd begins to close in on Maniacs, forming a circle*
Gauntlet: *Nervously* Um... well, this was great and all, but we really have to be going....
Shiny, Happy Person: *Still talking in the bizarre, happy tone* No! You must stay! We insist!
Shiny, Happy Person #2: *Eerily* After all, Gauntlet, we only want you to be our friend...
*Suddenly, the group starts to chant "Be our friend Gauntlet... Be our friend...."*
Magnetman: Huh? How do they know your name, Gauntlet?
Gauntlet: I don't know, but I get the feeling something bad is going to happen...
Needlegal: *sarcastically* Gee, you think?
Happy people: Be our friend, be our friend, be our friend!
Snakeman: Is this starting to creep you guys out too?
Happy people: Gauntlet, you must be our friend, be our friend, be our friend. *The group is walking in circles faster and faster*
Needlegal: This is really creepy...
Happy people: (faster and faster) Be our friend, be our friend, be our friend!
*all of a sudden they spin really fast and morph together into none other than!-- Galvatron!*
Galvatron: Be our friend! Be our friend! Wait nevermind. Hahaha! I'm finally able to defeat you once and for all, Mechanical Maniacs!
Sparkman: Where'd you learn that anyway?
Galvatron: Oh, a little something from Yaridovich from Super Mario RPG! But nevermind that, prepare to be destroyed!
That was corny as hell... Happy Happy Village? Let me guess...you made
this all up?
Galvatron: ...well actually...
*There still seems to be happy people walking around and singing*
Gauntlet: Either way...you're not gonna best us!!
*Suddenly Galvatron raises his hand and the happy people come from all sides...they all have paint brushes and blue paint cans*
Happy people: Blue makes you happy! *They all start whacking the Mechanical Maniacs with their paint brushes...smearing them with blue paint* Blue makes you happy!! Blue makes you happy!!!
Galvatron: That's right.....be HAPPY!!!!!
Gauntlet: What the hell is up with this!? It's not...*gets whacked again* Normal!!!
(Galvatron laughs as the 'Maniacs struggle fruitlessly against the onslaught of blue paint!)
Sparkman: I can't take it anymore.....
(Sparkman shoots spark shots at the happy people!)
Happy man #1: OW!! That hurt!
Happy man #2: Their MEAN!!
(The happy people run away!)
Needlegal: THAT WAS ALL WE HAD TO DO!? UGH!
Topman: You're gonna pay for getting us full of blue paint, Galvatron!
Galvatron: But this isn't just any paint, it's the kind that causes minor skin irritation! Hahahahaha!
Hardman: Uhhh... We're robots, remember?
Galvatron: Crap! You're right!
Hurt Happy people: Help, those stupid robot guys hurt us!
BIG (And I mean really big) swarm of happy people: Look, they're blue! (pun entirely intended) Let's kill 'em!!!
Suddenly the Mechanical Maniacs get swarmed by the BIG (And I mean really big) swarm of happy people!
Gauntlet: No, you don't understand! We're happy!
Topman: Yes! Look, would sad people do the happy dance? *does a little dance* Come on everyone, do the happy dance!
The Mechs: O...k....
They start dancing, and soon everyone but Galvatron is dancing around
Snakeman: Look, Galvatron isn't dancing! He must be sad!
Sparkman: And look! *body slams Galvatron leaving paint on him*
Needlegal: He's blue! *body slams him*
Happy people: He's unhappy! Get him! *looks at Mechs* Get them! Him! Them! How can we decide which one is less happy? HOWWWWWWWW?!
Gauntlet: Geez... this is going nowhere fast. What else could go wrong?
Hardman: A pie in the face?
Geminiman: How about an appearance from Wily?
Wily: How'd you guess?
The 'Maniacs: Wily!
Sparkman: You just had to say that didn't you?
Happy people: *All Run around confused*
Wily: Ha hah! Thought you could escpe me did you? Well now I've finally got you where I want you! Nothing can stop your utter destruction! No force of nature can save you! NO - wait. Where?
(back on the road, the 'Maniacs have crammed themselves in the little beetle while Wily was ranting and are quickly drove off.)
Geminiman: Faster, Gauntlet! FASTER!
Gauntlet: It doesn't go any faster!
Snakeman: Shut up .... all of you shut up......
Hardman: Damn it! It's too small in here!
Magnetman: Well, it wouldn't be if you weren't so fat!
Hardman: HEY! I am not fat! I'm big boned!
Geminiman: Would you stop with the South Park rip offs and move your fat ass out of the way so I can get the Gemini Force past!
Hardman: God Damn It! I am not Fat! Screw you guys! I'm going home!
Snakeman: We have no home!
Geminiman: That's it! I'm getting out!
*Gemini kicks Hard out of the Beetle and summons Gemini Force*
Needlegal: Would you hurry up! We're going so slow they're catching up on foot!
*And so Gauntlet slams on the gas button...but only finds the fastest it can go is still 30 miles an hour...not too far behind Hard runs from the mob of happy people..Galvy ...Wily... Rita...and even Quint...*
Hardman: This bites!!! *pants*
Needlegal: Why are we going so slow!?
Sparkman: They're SO happy and cheerful...it must be speeding to them o.o;
Happy Hurt Confused people: Mad drivers!! The speed limit's 2!!!
Gauntlet: Why doesn't Gem do something useful...and think of a way to GET US OUT OF HERE!!!!
All of a sudden Super Chaos jumps off of the cliff and into their path.
Mech Maniacs:Holy shit!!!!!!!!!!!---------------------------
*SMASH* (Their car is destroyed, by Super Chaos's immense buttox)
Gauntlet: Sorry Super Chaos, but there's too many guys here already, we can't fight you all.
Super Chaos: But- *Galvatron, Rita, Quint, and everybody else run him over*
Geminiman: RUN!!! *they all start running*
Hardman: Hard Knuckle *hits Gemini Man* You want some more? *fires again*
Geminiman: Ouch, what are you doing!?
Hardman: You're gonna pay for kicking me out of a slow moving vehicle! *throws a pie*
Big mob: DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
(Soon, a strange black car overtakes the mob, spraying them all with knock out gas and using short circuit chips on the robots.)
Super Chaos: MY EYE!!!
Gauntlet: IT'S Batman!!!
Batman: Hop aboard the batmobile, chums!
Robin: Holy rebellious machinery, Batman! They're robots!!!
Batman: Now, now Robin. They're obviously in trouble here. Hop in!
(The 'Maniacs hop in except for Gemini who rides on the Gemini Force.)
Sparkman: Where are we going?
Batman: To Gotham, chum! We need help .... and we're desperate!
Robin: But, Batman! What will we tell Aunt Harriet?
Batman: We'll think of something, old chum!
(And so, the Mechanical Maniacs speed off to Gotham city leaving the angry mob to sit in the middle of the road dazed and confused......)
*The Batmobile makes it's way to Gotham City until*
Hardman: Hey what does this button do?
Batman: No! Don't touch that button it's the....
*Hard pushes the button*
Batman and Robin: Eject button!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Maniacs minus Gem, Batman and Robin are sent flying.
Geminiman: Do I have to do everything?
*Gem flies up to the group and puts them on a roof*
Geminiman: Now can we get to business.
Topman: Business? What business?
Magnetman: Uh..yeah! All I remember is..--
Needlegal: Happy People!
Sparkman: And Blue!
Hardman: And paint!
*everyone groans simultaneously*
Gauntlet: If I hear anything about either one of those three again...I'm going to personally rip out their tongue!!
*Batman and Robin scale the building*
Batman: Did you guys say something about Happy People with blue paint?
Snakeman: Whelp Gauntlet...go for it!
Robin: It just so happens that that whole village just appeared out of no where...
Batman: Not to mention a lot of villains have been hanging out there... We have reasons to believe the town is part of some cult... and have currently figured that the perpetrator is somewhere in Gotham... Doing his evil deeds from there...
*The Mechs groan once again*
Batman: Why don't we all go back to Gotham together...I'm sure you guys have some info on them ...
*so everyone gets right back inside the Bat Mobile and head into Gotham....finding themselves in the Bat Cave*
Sparkman: Hey, the cool Batman computer thing! *puts his conductors on it*
Robin: Jumping Jihads, Spark Man! Don't do tha-----
*The computer gets fried*
Batman: Don't worry, my electric friend, we'll just rely on Brain Power to find out who the villain is!
*They all sit on their thinking crappers, which is the source of all good ideas*
All: Hmmm... Let's see, they're happy...
*Gauntlet comes out with his pants down, then quickly pulls them up*
Gauntlet: I've got it, it must be... *duh-duh sound effect* Joker!
Batman: That was just what I was going to say Gauntlet! Until you stole my idea!
(Meanwhile, at the Joker's base ......)
Joker: AH-hahahahahahahahahah!!!!! Soon my evil plan will be unleashed!!
Henchman: And what will that evil plan be, boss?
Joker: Well, Happy Village was only a test ground. At midnight tonight I will spray all of Gotham with my special mojo! With luck even Brat man and his boy blunder will become wacky with it. Naturally, I will be immune.
Henchman: And us henchmen too, right boss?
Joker: Right. And after that I will enter the surfing competition down at the beach. With everyone doped up, I will easily win the trophy and the adoration of young people everywhere!!!
Henchman: But, Joker, why wait until midnight? The gas is all ready. Why don't we just do it now?
(Joker pulls out a gun and shoots the henchman.)
Joker: Any other suggestions?
Meanwhile at the Batcave.
Gauntlet: It's about time we got here.
Magnetman: Well I'm sorry that I took control of the wheel I just thought Batman was going way to slow.
Needlegal: I just hope he's got insurance.
Elsewhere Batman and Robin are discussing about what to do with the Maniacs.
Robin: I'm telling you they are nothing but trouble. First, Hardman used the eject button, then Sparkman short circuit the control panel, then Magnetman crashed the Batmobile into that alley.
Batman: But they could be worthy allies against Joker.
Robin: I don't know Batman.
Batman: Relax, Robin. I know what I'm doing.
Snakeman: Hey Batman! How about having a drinking contest?
Batman: You're on Reptile head!
Hardman: Shouldn't we be defeating the Joker, now?
*after 20 glasses of various alcoholic drinks*
Batman: *sets his glass down*, hit me Robin! Make it a vodka!
Robin: *punches Batman* You've had enough, Batman!
Snakeman: NO! You can never have enough! Search Snake! *knocks out Robin, Gauntlet begins pouring the drinks*
Snakeman: *Gauntlet is pouring the glass* Yesssss! Yess!!! More! More! Yes! *vomits* More!
Batman: Give me some! *chugs a beer bottle*
Snakeman: Nyaaat Fare!!! *chugs another bottle of beer*
Batman: *is done with the bottle* *falls over*
Snakeman: Iiiiiiiii When!!!!
Batman: Okeeey, Iii'lllll drivvvvvveeeee!
Robin: *waking up* Let's go!
*They all hop in the Batmobile, and Batman's driving!*
Batman, under the influence of alcohol, rams the car into a building.
Batman: Wee! Flyingnessness!
Snakeman: Sho painful.... sho sleepy. Sho.... sho.... salty?
Topman: Yay! I get to say something! I've been almost mute the entire-
Gauntlet: Ye gods! We just crashed into the Jokers lair!
A sign on the building says in bright neon letters: Jokers Lair.
Sparkman: How could you tell?
Geminiman: To the batmobile!
Needlegal: We're in the batmobile.
Geminiman: Ye gods! So we are!
Hardman: To the top o the tower, me hearties! Let's take their booty and-
Topman: By Jove, chum, we have no time! We must climb up the wall, Batman style!
Gauntlet: Wouldn't that slow us down?
Robin: Holy Galloping Sassafratz Gauntlet! Don't you know anything?! In Batman World time slows down entirely for the villains until we are ready to make our next move!
Hardman: To the top o the tower, me hearties!
The Maniacs + Batman and Robin start climbing the tower. But with some quick thinking and help from Gemini Force. Gemini has gotten everyone to the top of the tower.
Robin: You know we could've climbed the tower with ease.
Geminiman: I know. But this way was a lot quicker. And easier.
Gauntlet: So what are we waiting for. Shouldn't we stop Joker?
Joker: Stop Me? You can't stop me. It already midnight I have now taken control of the whole city! Mwhahahahahaha!
Henchman: But sir. My watch says it's 9:15pm
Joker: I turned the clock hands forward.
Hardman: *throws a pie at Joker*
Joker: What was that for?
Hardman: You call yourself a Joker?
Joker: Well it doesn't matter anymore. I have you surrounded. Kill them!
The Henchman shoot the Maniacs and co.
Gauntlet: We're robots, bullets don't effect us.
Joker: But Batman should've....
Geminiman: And my crystal shield was big enough to shield Batman and Robin. Bullets can't harm that either.
Joker: Well I'll just have to do this!
Because the Joker is running ideas he resorts to the one fail-safe (at least he thinks so) that always works... throwing smiling fish!
Gauntlet: Oh he had to break out his trademark!
Hardman: (Fish hits his head) OW! These things actually hurt.
Needlegal: That's because he forgot to thaw them out.
Joker: Heh heh heh, go my my little pretties. Destroy them all (Pulls out a bazooka) HA HA HA HA HA...
Geminiman: I swear if this gets any weirder I'm gonna hurl...
(Mr. Dragoon pops out of a portal in drag)
Mr. Dragoon: (Sings) Bad girl, bad girl... I'm talkin' 'bout your BAD GIRL!
Geminiman: I had to say that.
Mr. Dragoon: Hey Joker! I think someone took the patent for your happy carp!
Joker: What?! This is an outrage! Where did they go...
Mr. Dragoon: (Points to Kazasthan)
Joker: (Runs off) Why I'll...
Gauntlet: Mr. Dragoon saved us?
Mr. Dragoon: Well Ben's busy wiping out the population of Kazasthan so I had to fill in...
Geminiman: Well, now there's no villain!
??? Wait! You'll be destroyed!
Happy people: You killed master! You will die!
Super Chaos: Prepare to be exterminated!
Galvatron: Yes you will be dead by tonight!
Quint: And some more confirmations that you will die!
Rita: Aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!! I will kill you!!!!
Needlegal: We need to get outta here. Fast!
Gauntlet: Luckily I have my trusty Smoke Bombs.
*Gauntlet tries to use a smoke bomb but can't find any*
Gauntlet: Damn it! Where are my smoke bombs?
Snakeman: Oh yeah. About those. Batman and I used them during the drinking game.
Batman: They made quite a big bang.
Topman: Great. Now what do we do?
Magnetman: Leave it to Magnet the .......
Sparkman: *Creates a blinding light allowing the Maniacs to escape on the Gemini Force*
Hardman: That was a close call.
???: There is no escape! You may have defeated my comrades but you will bow down to my power!
Magnetman: And who do you think you are?
???: I am......
All: No, no! Not....
???: Yes, yes! It is me! I am it! He is me! I am he! It is he! He is...him.... who is me.... and I.... Who am I again?!
All: You're.... you're.....
Gauntlet: Dammit, just get on with the plot and stop stalling, Nightmare!
??: That's right! It is I, no other than....
"Wily": DAMMIT! I'm not Wily you fools! I'm Picone man. PICONE MAN!!!!
Batman: Batarang! Go!
Snakeman: God, you make it sound like a pokemon!
Robin: Holy stupid serpents Batman!
Sparkman: SHUT UP! I hate that line! It's always bugged me!
Topman: Batman Forever was a good movie though.
Geminiman: Has anyone noticed how much more kiddyish Batman & Robin was compared to the other three?!
Piconeman: Now that I have my own 32 bit sprite, I will crush you all!
Will the Mechanical Maniacs withstand the new Picone Man? Tune in next time... same Mech time, same Mech-
Sparkman: I HATE THAT LINE TOO!
Piconeman: I will crush you all!
Topman: Didn't you already say that?
Piconeman: Yeah, right I did then. I shall destroy you all!
Gauntlet: But isn't that the same as your first line except you switched will with shall and crush with destroy?
Piconeman: Um.... Yeah. I guess so, well. Um.
Geminiman: This is getting boring. Time for me to use the quick and easy way out.
Gemini throws a mind wipe crystal at Picone Man.
Piconeman: What's this? *mind wipe takes effect and Picone Man goes into a deep sleep* But Mommy I'm scared of the big slide.
Needlegal: Well that was easy.
Sparkman: How come you never thought of that when we were up at the top of the tower.
Geminiman: It never really occurred to me I still had these.
Magnetman: And you call yourself a genius.
Geminiman: Hey! I'm smarter than you!
Magnetman: Wanna prove it. I challenge you to a chess match!
Geminiman: You're on!
*Gemini beats Magnet with the Scholar's Mate*
Snakeman: Now what do we do?
Hardman: Aren't we forgetting something?
Hardman: What about Mr Dragoon? Isn't he up there?
Mr. Dragoon: No I'm here.
Hardman: Then how about the townspeople. Aren't they under Joker's control?
Batman: Don't worry. Robin will take of that.
Hardman: Then I guess we're all done.
Topman: I guess.
Snakeman: Hmm... I guess everything turned out all right...
Needlegal: Yeah. And we learnt something to.
Gauntlet: That Mr Dragoon looks lousy in drag?
Mr. Dragoon: *swings a punch at Gauntlet, but trips over his dress*
Needlegal: No. Don't trust overly happy people. They'll get ya.
Geminiman: That's true.
Sparkman: I hear you.
Topman: Well until the world is taken over by Happy people we are.... The Mechanical Maniacs!
Sean as .....
Jacob as .....
Psycho Magnet as .....
Jonathan as .....
Nightmare as .....
Lennon as .....
Titanium 91 as .....
Gauntlet as .....