Series 5 Issue#15 - Edited For General Audiences

Another day passed by with nothing really happening to merit work for the Mechanical Maniacs. So now they just spend their days idling away in the Ark.

Needlegal: Hey guys, what happened to the phone here? I cant hear a dial tone.

Snakeman: Hmm? Oh yeah the phone line got cut since we didnt have money to pay the bill.

Needlegal: What happened to all the money we earned from part-time jobs?

Magnetman: Part-time jobs? Since when did we have part-time jobs?

Needlegal: What? You mean Ive been the only one earning money to keep this entire place functioning?

Magnetman: Yeah, pretty much.

Sparkchan: Hey, Ive been transferring all the Mango Trees earnings to the teams account as well.

Magnetman: Well that would be all well and good, if we werent the Mango Trees regular customers.

Needlegal: Great, so our entire source of income is my wages as a waitress and the earnings of the Mango Tree which gets them from our money.

Shadowman: So basically were living off your earnings as a waitress.

Hardman: Wait a second, youre a waitress?

Needlegal: Umm yeah, how else did you think we were earning money?

Hardman: I dunno, I figured since were heroes and all we just automatically get money.

Needlegal: Have you not noticed the total lack of money weve been getting ever since we got this place?

Hardman: Cant say that I have. You know what they say, ignorance is bliss.

Geminiman: Anyways, about this waitress job. How come you've never told us about it until now?

Needlegal: Well um, may its because you guys are so cheap that if I mentioned I worked at a place that sells food youd demand that we go there and have dinner and try to scam some sort of employee discount along with creating some sort of uproar which will in the end cost me my job.

Shadowman: Dont be silly sis; wed never do anything like that. On another note how about we go celebrate something over at this restaurant Needlegal is working at. Maybe we can get some sort of employee discount.

Needlegal: But you just said that you wouldn't.

Shadowman: I didnt say anything. Its all part of an illusion.

Needlegal: No matter how hard you try brother, you cant do ninja mind tricks.

Shadowman: Well it doesnt matter, were going to your restaurant whether you like it or not.

Topman: Were going to a restaurant for dinner? Yay! No more scavenging for half decent leftovers!

And so much to Needlegals dismay the Mechanical Maniacs ended up eating out at the restaurant she worked at and as predicted were eating like pigs while Needlegal ended up being the unfortunate one to serve them.

Needlegal: Would you guys quit inhaling your food? Youre causing a rather big scene.

Magnetman: Come on, Needle! We havent eaten a decent meal in days.

Geminiman: While that is true, she does have a point. We are looking rather uncivilised if you ask me.

Snakeman: Since when did you care about looking civilised Mr Fancy pants?

Geminiman: I have always been the perfect gentleman.

Topman: He just doesnt want to look bad in front of Spark Chan.

Geminiman: Silence Topman that has nothing to do with it!

Sparkchan: *giggles* You dont have to act so embarrassed about it sweety.

Hardman: Why dont you two just go get a room?

Sparkchan: Well thats not very nice.

Geminiman: Never mind him, hes angry as hes trying to cut down on the drinking. Withdrawal is never a pretty sight.

Snakeman: Again with the gentleman act.

Topman: Youre beginning to act like that bishounen version of you in that alternate reality.

Geminiman: Hey, theres nothing wrong with acting bishounen.

Snakeman: Guess that its his alternative to being a god-moder.

Shadowman: Hey sis, think we can get another order of everything weve ordered so far.

Needlegal: No! You've ordered enough! Just how are you going to pay for all this?

Shadowman: Well I have my ways.

Needlegal: Youre not going to use counterfeit money here!

Magnetman: But I thought we were getting a discount since youre working here.

Needlegal: And just how much of a discount were you expecting? Youre not eating for free!

Magnetman: Not eating for free? But then that means I wont have seconds. I will starve without my seconds!

Snakeman: Not like you eat enough or ready.

Topman: Yeah, since you hog all the food Ive been shrinking in size! And I'm a small robot.

Magnetman: What was that Snake?

Sparkchan: Hey guys, we dont want to cause a scene here.

Geminiman: Not like we havent attracted enough attention already. Just look behind us, everyone is staring.

Hardman: Thats it! I need a drink!

Hardman jumped out of his seat and went to the bar while everyone else began to cause a scene. Needlegal and Shadowman argued about the cost of the dinner while Magnetman, Topman and Snakeman argued on how much they were eating while Geminiman tried to keep a refined look at continued to eat along with Spark Chan. It was not long until the other customers began to start complaints about the Maniacs and Needlegal's manager walked up to inquire the problem until a woman walked up to the Maniacs table.

Woman: Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant!

Needlegal: What?

Manager: Excuse me, Needlegal, is there a problem here?

Woman: No problem at all. This group was just showing me an act to prove their talent as stars. With my help they can be the next best thing on TV!

Sparkchan: Um, excuse me, but who are you?

Shadowman: Quiet, this might be a way out of paying the bill.

Manager: Did I just hear that you cannot pay the bill for your dinner?

Woman: They can't pay their bill.... Well that is not a problem. I'll cover it. I am a wealthy TV producer after all.

Manager: Certainly.

Rather confused on the situation the manager went back to work as the Maniacs turned to the TV Producer.

Lila: Now with him out of the way I should introduce myself. My name is Lila Haruka. And I'm interested in turning you lot into a TV show.

Shadowman: You want to put us on TV?

Lila: Exactly! The performance you displayed just now was wonderful. I reckon you could all become the next best thing.

Geminiman: So you wish to display our rather unsightly behaviour as some sort of sitcom?

Lila: No I think you would be better suited as heroes of a Saturday morning show.

Magnetman: Well thats perfect. We already are heroes!

Shadowman: Hmm, so we'd be getting paid for doing what we usually do on TV? That sounds almost too good to be true.

Lila: Oh there is no catch. You just have to be at this address tomorrow at noon and everything will be fine.

Snakeman: So what are we going to say?

Shadowman: I see no harm in trying it out. We do need the money.

Lila: Perfect! I'll see you then!

Magnetman: This calls for seconds!

Topman: Hear! Hear!

While the Maniacs celebrated their upcoming debut to television, Lila Haruka left the premises and into a shady alleyway changing her disguise to none other than Lady Harken!

Lady Harken: There I have set up the Mechanical Maniacs. Everything now comes down to you master.

Alhazad: Excellent, my pet. Everything is falling into place.

The next day at some desolate piece of land devoid of life, the Mechanical Maniacs gathered to meet Lila Haruka to film their show.

Shadowman: This place is suspiciously deserted.

Lila: Well for the big action scene it is only natural for the heroes to battle out in a vast and empty plain to avoid civilian casualties.

Topman: But we fight in the city all the time.

Magnetman: Yeah, the amount of repairs needed to be done to the city because of our actions is one of the reasons were so poor.

Lila: Yes, well I know what the public wants so were going to shoot the action scene. But first we must go through some ground rules.

Snakeman: Ground rules?

Lila: Yes, because this is a childrens show we dont want to settle the matter with any violence.

Needlegal: But doesnt that defeat the purpose of an action sequence? Why would we come out to the middle of nowhere to fight an evil villain but not actually fight?

Lila: Because thats what heroes do.

Topman: But heroes dont do that.

Lila: Quiet! Now Ill go through all the editing with you. Shadowman, youre the ninja, that means youre going to be mysterious angst-ridden teen you will only show up on the camera to look cool and lament about how all you can do is transform into a log of wood.

Shadowman: So I wont be the centre of attention?

Lila: No, you'll just be a background character.

The leader of the Maniacs was dumbfounded by this news to the point he almost looked like was now the role Lila had assigned him, meanwhile Needlegal was slightly amused that her brother, the show stealer would lose his time in the spotlight.

Needlegal: I guess thats too bad bro.

Lila: Needlegal, you and Spark Chan are going to be the Maniacs cheerleading squad.

Needlegal: What!

Lila: Yes, all heroes have the stereotypical female sidekicks who seem to do nothing but cheer on from the sidelines so youll be the tough one that scares the guys while Spark Chan can be the kind one that values friendship over everything else.

Sparkchan: Sounds fun!

Spark Chans face lit up since her personality seemed to have been left intact while Needlegal was displaying a priceless look on her face.

Geminiman: I suppose I'm going to have some sort of disagreeable quirk as well.

Lila: You will be the handsome boy who all the girls love.

Geminiman: I like the sound of this. But I am curious on exactly how are we supposed to defeat a villain without violence. I mean, if I cant use my laser or street fighting techniques what am I supposed to do, perform some sort of flashy, flamboyant bishounen dance that will dazzle the opponent into submission?

Lila: In a word, yes.

As much as he liked being a bishounen, there was a limit on the things Geminiman wanted to do. With that, any dignity he had was thrown out the window.

Sparkchan: Oh sweety, it wont be too bad.

Snakeman: Flashy, flamboyant bishounen dance that will dazzle the enemy into submission? I'm not sure whats more amusing, the fact you proposed the idea or the fact that you actually have to perform it.

Lila: Snakeman! You shall be the annoying sidekick and rival of Shadowman.

Snakeman: That doesnt sound as bad as the others.

Lila: You will also have underlings in the form of Hardman who will be an idiot and Magnetman whom will try to make your life a living hell.

Topman: And what about me?

Lila: Youre fine the way you are, except Snakeman will now use you as his device to challenge people in combat.

Snakeman: So wait, I'm the annoying sidekick of the main character who doesnt show up on the screen and I use Topman as a giant spinning top to defeat my enemies. Just who came up with this plot?

Lila: It's what companies ask for these days. Now lets roll the camera.

After a puff of smoke, a bunch of demonic creatures appear and advance on the Mechanical Maniacs.

Shadowman: But we don't have a script!

Lila: Don't break the fourth wall. Just improvise!

Completely clueless on what to do, the Maniacs stand where they are while the demons approach, nearby Alhazad is watching with glee.

Alhazad: Yes, now without their powers they are useless and will soon meet their demise against my genius!

Lady Harken: So what kind of genius did you use to disable them from using their weapons in this field?

Alhazad: What? Oh I never used any kind of device. It is all simply a mind game. Since the Mechanical Maniacs love money so much, in theory they will make fools of themselves and simply die from embarrassment! There is no weapon blocking system stand up here it is all just psychological warfare. Only a true genius such as I would come up with something like that!

Lady Harken: THAT is your plan? Here I thought you had powerful demons summoned to crush the Maniacs and you had prevented their attacks through some magical device. But youre sending out worthless lesser demons that will just advance on them to panic them and embarrass them to death? That is so stupid!

Alhazad: Its working though. See ... Look.

Alhazad points to the Maniacs who are poorly attacking like fools against their enemies.

Sparkchan: Go Gemmy! Show them your superior dance skills!

Geminiman: No! I refuse to make a fool of myself with by defeating an enemy with a stupid, though elegant dance.

Snakeman: Ha, he's just -

Magnetman: Hes just scared that my man Snakeman here would upstage him with a better dance.

Snakeman: Hey, youre supposed -

Hardman: Why can't just smash them?

Snakeman: Well, I would normally.

Topman: Because that would be using violence which is apparently is wrong for us kids.

Snakeman: And so why do I throw you at the enemy as a weapon?

Hardman: Hey, the boss said a full sentence! Magnetman youre not interrupting his lines and annoying him like we're supposed to!

Magnetman: Quit breaking the fourth wall!

Shadowman: Oh, woe is me! All I can do is turn into a log of wood.

Shadowman transforms into a log and rolls around.

Needlegal: Come on brother! You can do better than that! I believe in you!

Sparkchan: Friendship will save the day! Now dance Gemmy! Dance!

Geminiman: Fine Ill do the dance. But just this once!

Geminiman then performs a flashy and flamboyant dance filled with leaps, spins and somersaults and lands in a pose creating a blinding light which did nothing.

Sparkchan: Yay! Now do it again!

Geminiman collapses to the ground with a big sigh.

Geminiman: As elegant as that dance was, it certainly wasn't becoming of a gentleman.

Snakeman: This is so pathetic. Why -

Magnetman: So why arent we attacking these monsters?

Hardman: Because our contract specifies were not allowed to attack them.

Magnetman: Well we could throw -

Topman: You are NOT throwing me at those things!

All seemed lost until a poorly disguised Zed jumped into the scene and laughed at the Mechanical Maniacs.

Zed: Go my creatures! Advance on the helpless robots and do harm towards them because we are evil!

Lady Harken: What a second? You put Zed into the cast?

Alhazad: Yes, if they get beaten by Zed it will be even more embarrassing!

Lady Harken: But they will see through the plan, they will know it is a trap and then they will figure out they can use their weapons because you haven't disabled them!

Alhazad: Silence my pet! I know what I am doing!

Shadowman: What a second, isn't that Zed?

Needlegal: Yeah, it is.

Geminiman: That would mean this is a plot by the Quarter Knights!

Snakeman: You mean weve been dancing around and acting like fools in front of them like their little puppets?

Alhazad: Yes! How does it feel to be humiliated like that Mechanical Maniacs? Dont you all feel like fools now? Now you will all perish from the sheer embarrassment of acting like fools in front of your enemy!

Shadowman: How is that supposed to work?

Alhazad: What?

Shadowman: Seriously, How does one die of embarrassment?

Alhazad: Do not insult my brilliant plan! My pet, attack the fools for insulting your great master!

Lady Harken: How about no.

Alhazad: What! You dare defy me?

Lady Harken: I refuse to work for someone as stupid as you. I quit!

Lady Harken throws her scythe on the ground and storms off leaving Alhazad stunned.

Snakeman: So, since we know this is all a lousy trap set up from the Quarter Knights, what should we do?

Geminiman: Well if they went to all that effort to say we cannot use our weapons, logically it would be because didnt set up any method of disarming our equipment and hoping the allure of money would prevent us from attacking.

Magnetman: Which was actually true?

Geminiman: Well, yes it was. But it still stands that we can now attack and defeat them right here and now as revenge.

Shadowman: Sounds like a plan.

Alhazad: No, it wasn't supposed to end like that! I was supposed to win!

Sparkchan: But the good guys always win on Saturday Morning Cartoons.

Alhazad: No! Ill get you next time Mechanical Maniacs!

Alhazad retreats as the Maniacs unleash their firepower on the lesser demons and Zed.

Zed: No! I cannot be defeated again! I only got to say one line!

Shadowman: Well since that is all over why dont we just head back to town and celebrate our victory with a dinner at the restaurant Needlegal works at.

Needlegal: *Sigh* Not again.

Shadowman: Well we cant eat at home, there isn't any food left in the Ark.

Back at the restaurant, the Maniacs enter to have dinner and end up running into a little surprise.

Lady Harken: Welcome, how many people will be eating here this evening?

Needlegal: Lady Harken! What are you doing here?

Lady Harken: Oh, I work here now. Since I left the Quarter Knights I decided I needed to make a living, so here I am working as a waitress in the same restaurant you work in, small world huh?

Snakeman: Hmm I guess everything turned out all right.

Needlegal: Yeah, and we learnt something too.

Shadowman: That censorship is stupid and causes people to look silly?

Lady Harken: Speaking of which I happen to have a video of the events the played through today. So if you try to get me fired I will so show this to everyone you know. Have a nice meal.

Needlegal: Well, we did learn that. But we also learned that the power of money corrupts. I mean, if it werent for the big cash pay out we were promised, we wouldnt have been out there making fools of ourselves and Lady Harken wouldnt now have leverage over us.

Lady Harken: Tee hee hee!

Topman: Well until we actually get our own TV show. We are The Mechanical Maniacs!


Classi Cal as .....
Spark Chan
Raijin as .....
Psycho Magnet as .....
Hadrian Howell as .....
    Nightmare as .....
Lennon as .....
Jonathan S. as .....
Gauntlet as .....


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