By Gauntlet
It's a fine day as the Mechanical Maniacs prepare their new fortress for a continuing ritual - the housewarming party! Meant to bring in good times and good memories, the Mechanical Maniacs have always had a housewarming party. And, although their last two bases were destroyed, they have a really good feeling that the Ark will have staying power.
Fireman: Alright! A party!
Hardman: Hey, Fire, I bet I know what you want! Come eeeeeerrrr....
Fireman: Uh, no thanks guy. I'm actually gonna try playing darts or something.
Hardman: eh?
Cutman: He's a recovering alcoholic.
Hardman: Recovering?
Cutman: Meaning he's stopped now.
Hardman: Whu?
Gutsman: Ahhhhh, what a great idea! Now WE can trash the 'Maniacs' place as revenge for being such lazy slobs! Mwa-ha-ha-ha-haaaaAH!!!
(The six gaze at Gutsman in bemusement.)
Gutsman: Aw, common! I ..... I need this!
Elecman: Now, now, Tim. Violence is never the answer! Just look! The guests are arriving already!
Shadowman: Zero X Phoenix, I'd like you to meet Nightmare Zero.
Zero X Phoenix: Heya.
Nightmare Zero: I actually know him.
Shadowman: Really? Small world.
Zero X Phoenix: Yeah.
Nightmare Zero: So, did you invite Warrior Zero X too?
Shadowman: Nah, haven't seen him in years.
Topman: Hey ..... It's Zero X Gold!
Shadowman: No, this is Zero X Phoenix and Nightmare Zero, not Zero X Gold.
Topman: What happened to Zero X Gold?
Shadowman: He was killed by Mega Zero X in a spacecraft incident.
Topman: Is the real Zero gonna be here?
........
Nightmare Zero: Who?
Piccolo: Hh. This party sucks.
Dinobot: Yessssss..... certainly not worthy of us! Team Badass!
Green Ranger: Screw you! I barely have time to be a Power Ranger let alone team badass.
Casey Jones: But you are not even really on our team ya Power Ranger!.
Dark Napalm: Hey guys.
Nightmare Zero: GWAHH!
Zero X Phoenix: Oh ..... it's you.
Nightmare Zero: So ....... big .......
Dark Napalm: So how are all of you guys doing this evening?
Nightmare Zero: Good.
Zero X Phoenix: Good.
Shadowman: Good.
Fahrenheit: Also good.
Dark Napalm: That's good.
(Awkward silence passes by.)
Dark Napalm: So you all saw my last flash -
Fahrenheit: OHMYGODHE'SGONNAEATUS!
(Nightmare Zero, Shadowman, Zero X Phoenix, and Fahrenheit all scream in horror and run away!)
Dark Napalm: Aw, common fellas. Don't be like that.
Topman: Alright, Kai .... you were invited for one reason and one reason ALONE! To BEYBLADE!
Kai: What?
Topman: That's right! You stuck up kid! I'll Beyblade you right here right now!
Kai: I don't think so.
Topman: What did you say!?
Kai: I don't wanna Bey-battle with a little kid like you. Now excuse me while I blow this popsicle stand. I gotta head to Toys R us and pick me up some of their new Bey Blade kits.
(Kai brushes past a sputtering Topman and leaves the party.)
(Super Koala and Pharon arrive at the party in an old, beat up car.)
Super Koala: I can't believe I got an invite!
Pharon: Yeah! This is so cool!
(Hardman stops S.K. and P. at the door)
Hardman: Hold it, fellas.
Super Koala: What's the problemo? We were invited!
Hardman: YOU were ..... but not him.
Pharon: Me? Hunh? Why - ?
Hardman: Because you freak me out, man.
Super Koala: But he's my bro! What's so wrong with him?
.......
Hardman: Look, you want this to get ugly?
(Super Koala shrugs and walks in.)
(Pharon looks up as he sees Snakeman walk near the door.)
Pharon: Hey, Snake! YOU'LL let me in, right!
Snakeman: Uh, sorry, man .... but you're no Super Koala.
Pharon: But -
Snakeman: Gottago!
....
Pharon: What? What'd I do?
(And, inside........)
Clownman: Hey, Koala! Where's Pharon?
Super Koala: He wasn't allowed in.
Clownman: *phew* what a relief. That guy kinda gives me the willies!
Cutman: You said it!
Super Koala: What? What'd he do?
(Elsewhere, Dark Napalm continues his efforts to socialize with the rest of the Megaman Community.)
Heatman: So I say, " No way that's me, man! You better gimme that tape or I'll rip your heart out!"
CJ: Really? You said that to Gauntlet?
Heatman: Yeah, guy's not so tough. He's just a big -
Dark Napalm: Heya, guys!
CJ:....
Heatman: .......
Dark Napalm: You guys liked the Wily Show, right? I mean, people liked that fine.
Heatman: Uh .... yeah, I .....
CJ: Ummmmm
(CJ and Heatman both flee in terror.)
Dark Napalm: H-hey ...... I have feelings too....
(Dark Napalm feels something on his leg. He looks down to see Super Koala gnawing away like a rabid animal.)
Dark Napalm: Hey. I don't deserve that. I may look and sound kinda scary, but ...... I'm actually pretty -
Super Koala: Hissssssssssssss
Dark Napalm: *ulp*
(Dark Napalm is approached from behind by the only person as tall as he - Lysekoid.)
Lysekoid: Alright, that's it. Napalm, quit scaring everyone you big bully!
Dark Napalm: But I - I'm not TRYING to!
Lysekoid: Oh, so THAT'S how you're gonna be, eh? Well, you can go look menacing all by yourself then!
Dark Napalm: H-hey!
Topman: Needlegal! You've .... changed you're armor!
Needlegal: Yeah. I was always kinda bothered by the bulbous look So, I went in and tweaked it.
Geminiman: But .... you're so ..... so thin!
Needlegal: Yeah.
Geminiman: But based on the Transmetal armor I ..... uh....
Needlegal: Based on my Transmetal armor you extrapolated what, exactly!?
Topman: That you were an elephant!
*POW*!
Needlegal: SHUT UP!! I'll have you know I was NEVER fat, it was JUST MY ARMOR!
Geminiman: And I gotta say, it's a relief!
*POW*!
Needlegal: So you expected something ELSE!?
Geminiman: Ohhh .... THAT hurt!
Needlegal: Still ..... at least it beats all those lame "CANNON BALL" jokes I get at the beach in my old armor
Magnetman: WOAH! Needle, you look hot!
Needlegal: Thanks, Magnet!
Magnetman: Uh ....... so can I have a date.
Needlegal: No, Magnet.
.....
Magnetman: Then can you at least pose for some entirely tasteful pictures?
*POW*!
Needlegal: What is it with you people!? Is the community FULL of horny guys!?
Snakeman: Woah! Hot stuff!
Zero X Phoenix: I can't breath!
Nightmare Zero: *whistles*
Clownman, Bombman, Hardman: HELLoooooooooooooooooo, NURSE!
Needlegal: Alright, form a line! You're all getting your ass kicked!
Sparkman: What the heck is a "Super Koala" anyway?
Super Koala: Well, I'm like a regular koala. Only super.
Sparkman: What, can you fly?
Super Koala: No.
Sparkman: Are you invulnerable?
Super Koala: No.
Sparkman: Do you have heat vision?
Super Koala: ....... Yes.
Gutsman: YOU have HEAT VISION?
Super Koala: Uh, sure. I use heat vision all the time.
......
Shadowman: Prove it! Use heat vision!
Geminiman: Yeah, prove it!
Super Koala: Hey, don't push me, buster! You want heat vision? eh?! I'll heat vision your freaking eyes shut or something!
Sparkman: Woah. That is one angry koala.
CJ: I'm just saying .... it makes no SENSE, man!
Fireman: What? Why?
CJ: A "fireman" PUTS OUT fires!
Fireman: ..... so?
CJ: So, shouldn't YOU put out fires?
Fireman: ......... I don't follow.
CJ: YOU'RE FIREMAN!
Fireman: Ah, I see. A common misconception. You see, I am THE fireman, but I am not A fireman. I don't really put out fires so much as start them.
CJ: ........ What?
Shadowman: FAN! Hey, it's Fanwgie!
Fanewgie: Er, you're pronouncing it wrong.
Gutsman: Yeah it's Fanwgee!
Cutman: I thought it was Faweegeie.
Shadowman: Fane-weegeee?
Gutsman: Fan-gwee!
Fanewgie: Yeah, it's very funny.
Topman: Hey, who's this?
Shadowman: It's Fan-gee!
Topman: Fan-what? What the Hell is a Fan-gee?
Shadowman: *points* he is.
Topman: I see. Hey, Fannie!
Fanewgie: MY NAME IS NOT "FANNIE"!
Gutsman: So, what the Hell happened to you, Fannie? Last time I saw you you were kinda ...... a twerp. Now you're all buff.
Fanewgie: First of all, my name is not Fannie. Second of all, I got an upgrade.
Shadowman: "Upgrade?" What, you got "Mega-steroids" or something? Ha hah hah!
Fanewgie: If you MUST know, my eyes were bigger than my stomach and before I knew it I had oversized and clunky body parts.
......
Shadowman: What?
Gutsman: Uh ....... G, Fan here is an *ahem* mech-cannibal. He goes around ...... eats other robots ...... puts their parts on himself....
Fanewgie: Yeah, so don't piss me off!
Topman: Oh, uh ....
Shadowman: Ah, I ..... see. Well, of course there's been MANY uh ..... cannibals. You got Lector and ..... um ..... well, I will just be over ..... THERE *points* so, if you'll excuse me.
Topman: Yeah, me too.
Classi Cal: So, you come from the planet Krypton.
Super Koala: Oh, *pshhhh* totally. Yeah, Earth's uh ...... yellow sun gives me my super powers.
.......
Classi Cal: Ummm ..... I don't think I really believe you, hun.
Dark Napalm: GWAAAAAHHHHHH!!!
(All of a sudden, Dark Napalm begins convulsing and contorting in unnatural positions! A crows gathers around the fearsome robot as he gets up with an evil gleam in his eye......)
Dark Napalm: Ahhh ..... it's so good to be back .....
Classi Cal: "Back"?
Nightmare Zero: You left?
Dark Napalm: FOOL! I am not "Dark Napalm"! I am ...... wing commander STARSCREAM!
Shadowman: It's Starscream's GHOST!
Fahrenheit: Shit! He has control of Dark Napalm!
Super Koala: What're we gonna do!?
Dark Napalm: You will die, pathetic fools! Bow to the weapons contained within this body! Be defeated with -
(Suddenly a burst of flowers erupts around the gigantic body of Dark Napalm!)
Dark Napalm: Plant Barrier? PLANT BARRIER!?
Snakeman: Although Dark Napalm appears deadly, he must be ........ really messed up inside.
Dark Napalm: NOOOO!!
(As Starscream screams in Dark Napalm's body, Snakeman makes a call....)
Needlegal: Hey, who ya gonna call?
Snakeman: Who else?
(Within seconds a car bursts into the Ark carrying .....)
Stoneman: Anyone call for the Ghostbusters?
Starman: Or Starman's elite ghost hunting squad, as is printed on our stationary.
Gravityman: Dammit, we're not calling ourselves that!
Shadowman: You're ..... alive! You're actually ..... alive!
Stoneman: Yup.
Shadowman: Where the Hell have you been all this time?
Stoneman: Uh .....
Starman: Hm......
Crystalman: Would "on the can" be an acceptable answer?
Shadowman: Sorry I asked.
Starscream: FOOLS! There is no escape!
(Starscream's ghost flies around menacingly. The Megaman Community members begin firing their weapons in a futile attempt at stopping the apparition!)
Cutman: It's not working!
Snakeman: Stop firing! Stop it! You're gonna ruin our new base!
Gutsman: Don't listen! Keep trying!
Crystalman: Guys, leave this to the professionals.
Starman: Let's do this!
(The Ghost Busters fire their proton weapons at the surprised Starscream!)
Starscream: What is THIS!? Let me GO!
Stoneman: Don't cross the streams!
Crystalman: Damnit, where's Waveman!? He should be helping!
Gravityman: He said he was our "getaway man" in case things went wrong!
Starman: We got him! Get with the trap!
Gravityman: You got it!
(Gravityman releases the ghost trap and in a flash of light Starscream's ghost is caught within it's confines!)
Gravityman: Success!
Starscream: Let me go! I demand it! I was Decepticon leader! For one brief, glorious moment I WAS LEADER OF THE DECEPTICONS! I demand to be release this astro-second!
Nightmare Zero: You did it!
Clownman: Way to go! You beat Starcream AND saved the base!
Snakeman: "Saved"!? Just look at the place! It's a complete mess!
Stoneman: Er ....
Snakeman: Get out! All of you! This party is OVER! Now LEAVE!
.......
Snakeman: What? Didn't you hear me? I said GO! Now GO GO GO!!
(Snakeman shoos the guests away with a barrage of search snakes. Dark Napalm is the last to leave waving his hands in the air.)
Dark Napalm: No .... everyone ..... come back! I'm not scary!
(Dark Napalm collapses onto the floor.)
Dark Napalm: I .... I ..... LOVE MEEEEEEEEEEE!
Fahrenheit: Why did I even come here? I never even spoke to Gauntlet!
Super Koala: Worst. Party. Ever.
Snakeman: Well, I guess things turned out all right...
Magnetman: I guess...
Needlegal: And we learned something today too...
Shadowman: *hurumph*. Never call Darkman's Robot Warrior's for a ghost busting job right?
Needlegal: We learned that you all SUCK! Really, you all actually thought I was fat? Didn't I say it was the Transmetal Armor all along? Well, maybe NEXT TIME you'll believe me!
Magnetman: ....... I've always believed you.
Snakeman: Yeah, me too.
(Needlegal pummels Snake and Magnet with her Needle Cannon!)
Needlegal: LIARS!
Topman: So until Starscream and three other ghosts form the "robot busters," we are ..... The Mechanical Maniacs!
The End
Cast: |
|||||
Musashiden Razz as ..... | Sparkman |
Raijin as ..... | Snakeman |
Psycho Magnet as ..... | Needlegal |
Hadrian Howell as ..... | Hardman |
Nightmare as ..... | Topman |
||
Lennon as ..... | Geminiman |
Jonathan S. as ..... | Magnetman |
Gauntlet as ..... | Shadowman |