By Gauntlet (Shadowman)
It was mid-afternoon in the city of Monsteropolis. Cars were hovering or rolling around creating the busy sounds of the big city. But cars did not trouble the Mechanical Maniacs this day. This day it was something else. A secret hidden by one member of the team for so long. A secret finally revealed.
Snakeman: You have a BAR!?
Snakeman: Since when!?
Hardman: Since a few months back.
Magnetman: And it's called "Hardman's Bar?"
Hardman: That's right, little buddy.
Magnetman: Not very inventive is it?
Hardman: Says the robot with the magnet stuck on his head.
Shadowman: Okay, wait. Wait. Since when did you have a bar?
Hardman: Well, for a long time man. Since before I joined the team.
Topman: It wasn't called "Hardman's Bar" then was it?
Hardman: Nope. So how about we all go in for a pint? I'm just re-opening the place after some heavy renovations.
Shadowman: Wait. Now, everyone knows that I'm the only one on the team allowed to keep secrets. So out with it! Since when did you have a bar? You should have told us you had a bar, man!
Hardman: *sigh* Well, it wasn't a secret. Didn't you remember how I bragged about it before I joined the team?
Hardman: Do you remember when we finally got back from that other dimension*and I told everyone about how I looked for my bar and it was trashed?
(* Hadrian joined the team as Hardman in Series 4 while half of the team was stuck in an alternate universe.)
Hardman: And then I said I'd get it back and fix it all up? But then I told everyone how I couldn't get a loan from the bank because of my old drinking habits?
Hardman: But then I used you guys as a reference, got sober, and was able to get that loan?
Hardman: You must have noticed I was gone for all those months. And when you asked about it I told you all about the bar ... and how I was gonna call it "Hardman's bar?"
Shadowman: ..... I think I'd remember all that, Hardman. I'm disappointed that you'd lie to keep it all under wraps.
Hardman: You even came into my bar and stole my entire inventory of peanuts ....
Shadowman: I think I'd remember doing that. And I resent the accusation.
Hardman: Uh .... sorry, boss. (Hardman scratched his head). So, who'se up for a few pints on the house?
Needlegal: Oooooo, sounds like a good time to me!
Spark Chan: Uh, I don't really drink.
Topman: Well, I do! Count me in!
Hardman: Uh, sorry squirt. You're under aged.
Topman: Under aged.!?
Topman: But I'm not really a kid. That's just this body I'm in. I hope you'll all remember that I'm a nigh-omnipotent being from the Nightmare dimension! Why ... just the power of my pinky finger alone could level the city!
Geminiman: One too many hits with the 'ol Hard Knuckle I'd say.
Topman: But - !
Hardman: No beer, squirt. No sugar either. You don't need anything riling you up today.
Snakeman: Geez, Toppy .... what the Hell? Since when were you from a "Nightmare Dimension"?
Topman: I *am* from the Nightmare Dimension! And I'm, like, god there y'know. Just so you know.
Snakeman: Exactly why are you here then, smart guy?
Topman: Well .... at first it was to conquer this universe and add it to my collection. But I guess ...
Snakeman: Awww, Topman's getting all mushy. How cute.
Topman: Shut up! Shut up or I'll go postal on you!
Spark Chan: Oh, don't tease him, guys.
Needlegal: Yeah, let's all just get along!
Magnetman: Come on, Topster! Prove your story! Show us your Nightmare power!
Shadowman: Uh, maybe we should all just cool down....
Geminiman: Yeah ...
Topman: ALRIGHT! You want Nightmare? I'll give you Nightmare! More Nightmare than you've ever ....
Topman: Uh .... something really ought to be happening ....
Snakeman: It's time to let go of your delusions, Top.
Topman: I AM NOT DELLUSIONAL!
(Topman storms off in a huff.)
Spark Chan: That was pretty mean you guys.
Needlegal: Yeah. Don't pick on him. Even if he is crazy.
Shadowman: Seriously uncool, guys.
Geminiman: Well, he's been goin' on about that since he joined the team.* I'd really like to see these "Nightmare" powers or for him to just shut up about it.
(*Series 2 Issue 6)
Hardman: Still ... the dames and the boss are right. We shouldn't push 'im. Let's just go an have a beer on me.
(Hard reaches for the door, but is stopped as the doors are blown open - from the outside in! Most of the 'Maniacs are pushed back, but Hardman is unaffected by the actual explosion, but more by the shock of seeing his newly open bar blown up.)
Hardman: My bar! It's gotta be those damn Autobots! They call anyone who competes with their "Autobar" a Decepticon and ... wait a minute ...
Shadowman: It ... it can't be!
Needlegal: Oh no!
(A figure is revealed in the smoke. He's small. Clad in blue armor. And is the bane of all Robot Masters everywhere. He is ...)
Hardman: And it's .... it's the real one this time, isn't it?*
(*The 'Maniacs encountered a Megaman in Series 4 Issue 1.)
Magnetman: Um .... wow. Uh ...
Spark Chan: Oh, goodness! Listen, Megaman... you know, we're good now, right? I mean, only Shadowman here fought you ... the rest of us are new recruits! I mean ..... this is all pretty mean-spirited.
Megaman: "Mean-spirited"? What's mean-spirited is you Wily-made scumbags running free in my city!
Geminiman: Oh boy ... OH BOY! Um .... shouldn't we ... run?
Magnetman: Hey! We gotta cut this crap out!
Magnetman: There's seven of us! And one of him!
Shadowman: This is Megaman, Magnet!
Magnetman: Yeah, so what? Why .... just in my time on the team we've faced Bizarro Shadowman, Decepticons, Doctor Doppler, evil 'Mechs, the Evil Eight, the Quarter Knights .... if we can take them on then whose to say the little blue twerp will be any different?
Hardman: The little guy makes an interesting point, boss.
Needlegal: I'd hate to run.
Spark Chan: But .... but I don't wanna fight him. We should talk things out.
Megaman: I'm not interested in talking anything out. What I'm interested in is beating you senseless, taking your powers and moving on to one of those other Megaman teams I keep hearing about!
Shadowman: What is your damage, Megaman!?
Megaman: No damage at all. And I don't have to talk things out. Or let you escape.
Hardman: Twerp .... there's seven of us.
(suddenly, the 'Maniacs are hit by a barrage of bullets from behind!)
Spark Chan: What's going on!?
Shadowman: I don't - UUKK!!
(Shadowman falls on the ground, convulsing involuntarily.)
Hardman: The boss is down! These shots are coming from across the street and beside the - ACK!
(Hardman is felled by a powerful Mega Buster shot to his side. He falls in pain.)
(Magnetman and Needlegal scramble to avoid similar fates and charged shots come in from all sides!)
Geminiman: We don't know what we're dealing with! I'll cover you all while you teleport back to the Ark!
Spark Chan: - But, Gemini-hun...
Geminiman: (While splitting into six forms, each surrounding his companions while putting up a crystal shield) GO!!
(The barrage of shots continues and Geminiman's shields don't last long. But the team escapes just in time.)
Megaman: Three down .....
(The 'Maniacs have returned to the Ark and are assessing the situation in the briefing room....)
Magnetman: What the Hell what that!?
Needlegal: I dunno, but Shadow, Gem, and Hard are gone ...
Spark Chan: He was so mean ....
Magnetman: What are we gonna do, guys? What're we gonna do!?
Needlegal: Stop panicking, Magnet.
Magnetman: I'm not panicking!
Needlegal: YES YOU ARE, NOW STOP IT!
Snakeman: Guys, shut up! Listen to this report.
The radio: Reports are flooding from all over the city. Megaman has gone berserk! Repeat: Megaman has gone berserk! Currently he is engaging in a battle with the Sinister Six, but all our efforts to videotape the battle have been thwarted by a dampening field. What caused our beloved blue hero to go haywire? This reporter has tried to contact Dr. Light for answers, but there has been no response.
Snakeman: Dr. Light, eh? That sounds like a good idea! Let's go!
(And so, the 'Maniacs activate their teleporters .... only to arrive several blocks away from Dr. Light's house.)
Spark Chan: What happened?
Snakeman: I .... guess Dr. Light put up a blockade to prevent intruders.
Magnetman: Damn it! So .... what do we do now?
(After several minutes of thinking, followed by several minutes of Magnetman complaining, the 'Maniacs do as thousands have done before them and walk to Dr. Light's base.)
Magnetman: (While pounding on the door of Dr. Light's humble gate) Open up! Open up! Let me in!
Comm: Not by the hair of Light's chinny-chin-chin!
Magnetman: Then I'll huff ... and I'll puff .... and I'll blow yer door in!
(Magnetman shoots a Magnet Missile at the door .... to no avail.)
Magnetman: Hey, what gives?
Comm: Hah! This is Doctor Light we're talking about here! Do you really think it'd be that easy to break in? Hah! *pthhhhhhhh*
Spark Chan: Did .... did she just give us a raspberry?
Snakeman: even more immature than Topman .....
Needlegal: Hey, Megaman is out of control! You might not trust us, but now we're the innocents and Megaman is the rampaging robot master! We don't really want to hurt him, but unless you help us, we don't have much of a choice in the matter.
(The gate opens and the Mechanical Maniacs enter Dr. Light's Laboratory.)
Magnetman: Thanks for -
(Magnetman is immediately hit by a broom upside his head.)
Roll: Take THAT!
Magnetman: A TRAP!
Snakeman: It was a broom.
Magnetman: GET READY TO EAT MAGNET MISSILE!
Someone: Everyone, calm down! Roll, that was very rude to do to our guests.
Roll: But, Doctor Light -
Dr. Light: No, butts, Roll. No, please, prepare some drinks for us while we discuss the situation.
Roll: BUT -!
Dr. Light: ROLL!
(In a huff Roll strolled out to get some drinks.)
Snakeman: So, what's going on, Doc? Why's Megaman going militant?
Dr. Light: I wish I knew. The last I knew he was going out for a simple stroll. And then there's reports of him beating up on robots with even the slightest of infractions. Right now he's battling his brothers on the Sinister Six. I don't understand it at all.
Spark Chan: He was so frightening.
Snakeman: Does he have help?
Dr. Light: Help?
Snakeman: What about Rush, Tango and Protoman? Mea Girl?
Dr. Light: Mega Girl? No, she's far away in Yumland at the moment. Protoman went after Rock, but I haven't heard back from him. Not that that's unusual. The pets went after Rock as well, but they're disappearance worries me. If Rock could hurt them ....
Needlegal: I don't suppose you've installed Megaman with a tracking device?
Dr. Light: Now, why would I do that?
Needlegal: Hh. He isn't anything like that other Dr. Light we met.
Dr. Light: "Other" Dr. Light?
Roll: (in a nasty voice) Here are your drinks!
(Roll sets down the drinks, which are on a silver tray, with a loud clatter.)
Roll: I hope they taste bitter and warm.
Needlegal: She, on the other hand, seems very much the same.
Dr. Light: She's just antsy around you. After all, you're Wily's machines.
Magnetman: It's not like we can help it if Wily tampered with our lives. Anyways, none of us are the original robot masters anyway.
Dr. Light: No?
Snakeman: It's a long story that we don't have time for. Let's focus on finding Megaman!
Dr. Light: Hm .... Well, I might have one idea ....
Topman: Stupid jerks! I *am* Nightmare, I *do* have omnipotence and I'll prove it! By doing something dangerous and stupid!
(Topman finishes connecting the last of the cables to his body. That makes 37 in total. All leading to the Ark's central computer system Teletran-1.)
Topman: Okay, Teletran, diagnose my systems. Can you find any trace of my old Gemini Red* schematics?
(*Nightmare first joined the team as Gemini Red.)
Teletran 1: Affirmative.
Topman: FINALLY! Well, what's the hold-up? Bring it out!
Teletran 1: Alert! Portion is incomplete and damaged! Overriding current systems with said program may result in total systems failure!
Topman: Damn it! The last time I was Gemini Red I merged with Blue to make Neo Gemini and that wiped out my Gemini Red body completely. I took Top right then because of that (as his position and armor were vacant at the time)! Of course there was some reality trouble ... I remember King killing me and Top passing me his Topman powers before he died.* There's allot of confusion as to what really happened and nobody that died stayed dead. I was hoping my Gemini Red form was still available for me to use at any time! But I guess when I became Topman my Nightmare powers were permanently lost! I was hoping there'd be SOME trace of it left, but there's nothing!
Oh, man..... my plan is a failure! Won't I ever get those dimensions back? Won't I ever rule the world like I planned? Won't I ever wipe those smug smiles off the jerk's jerky jerk faces!?
Teletran 1: Um ...
Topman: Teletran! There's gotta be a way!
Teletran: W-well ....
(As it turns out Dr. Light was able to construct a tracking device that tracks some complicated thing only Megaman uses for his robotic brain and is extremely trackable. The rest of the 'Maniacs have been following it for some time now.)
Needlegal: Hh. You know .... this place is familiar.
Snakeman: Yeah, we've all been to the abandoned warehouse district of Monsteropolis.
Needlegal: Yeah. but I've been getting the weirdest sense of deja-vu ever since coming here ...
(Needlegal's train of thought is interrupted as an arm cannon shot barely misses her head.)
Spark Chan: Is it Megaman?
Snakeman: No ... it's ... Sniper Joes!?
Magnetman: And a whole bunch of them!
(About a dozen Sniper joes come out of the woodwork to attack the Mechanical Maniacs. Magnetman blocks the arm cannon shots by intercepting them with his Magnet Missiles, Spark Chan, Needlegal, and Snakeman all dash to avoid the deadly barrage of gunfire.)
Spark Chan: What are Sniper Joes doing here!?
Needlegal: I'd guess Megaman reprogrammed them. That explains who ambushed us when we first fought the blue jerk.
Snakeman: (While using his Search Snakes to destroy three Joes at once) If this was the backup Megaman had when he faced us, I'm embarrassed to have left!
(Spark Chan used her Giant Sparker attack to destroy several Joes all at once while Needlegal pelted the area with Needles to dispatch even more Joes to their doom.)
Magnetman: I guess that's the last of 'em.
Spark Chan: Don't speak so soon! Look!
(The 'Maniacs looked skywards and saw a swarm of mechanical birds holding, what appeared to be, eggs in their talons flying towards the group.)
Snakeman: It's those annoying "Pipi" birds! They're gonna swarm us!
Needlegal: The locator says Megaman is dead ahead! Let's go!
(Running at full speed the 'Maniacs follow Needlegal into an abandoned warehouse just as the Pipis and their newly hatched Mini-Pipi offspring were about to overtake them.)
Magnetman: (while slamming the door shut behind him) That was -
(Several loud noises were heard in quick succession as the bids all flew into the door, destroying themselves on impact.)
Magnetman: Okay, that was -
Megaman: Hello there, guys.
Magnetman: Damn it all, I never get to finish my -
(Megaman stands atop a plank high above the 'Maniacs. With an evil smirk he jumps down to the 'Maniac's level.)
Megaman: Sorry to keep you waiting for me. But some other jerks got in my way before their turn. I think you know them. They called themselves the "Sinister Six."
Spark Chan: What!? What did you do to them!? You better not have hurt any of them - especially Icey-kun!
Megaman: Hurt my bros? I'm not some puppet of Wily's. No, they're just going to go through some .... reprogramming.
Megaman: You bet! (Megaman smiles warmly.) With their programming changed they'll be productive members of society! And then we can hunt down all those other renegade robot masters!
Spark Chan: You .... You're just as bad as Wily!
Megaman: (A dark tone enters Megaman's voice) Please. Don't compare me to that person. He puts the world into chaos. Me, I'm just .... cleaning up his mess. Tidying things up. I'm the hero of Monsteropolis, after all. It's my job.
(With that Megaman let's loose with a Rolling Cutter! The 'Maniacs scatter.)
Magnetman: (While shooting off his trademarked Magnet Missile) You really have beat the Sinister Six!
Megaman: (While dodging Magnetman's attack) Of course! It was easy! Don't you remember? They were the first losers I ever fought! To me they're just toys! (Megaman chucks a Shadowblade at Spark Chan.)
Spark Chan: (Spark is hit by Megaman's Shadow Blade and reels back in pain.) AGH!! But ... you're supposed to be nice! And sweet!
Needlegal: Apparently that's not the case anymore. (Needlegal tosses the needle mace on the top of her head at Megaman, who slides out of the way. It takes a good chunk out of the floor, but does no damage.)
Megaman: You're right about that, lady. (Megaman fires off a Gemini Lazer which nails Needle as she brings in her needle-topped mace.)
Spark Chan: Needle! (Spark lets loose a flurry of sparks from the tops of her electrodes. Megaman deftly dodges the attack.)
Megaman: Hah! I've been fighting robot masters for years! You can't possibly - UGH!
(Megaman is hit from below as Snakeman emerges from the ground right below him.)
Snakeman: We've learned a thing or two too, brat!
Needlegal: (While pummeling Megaman with Needles) And I've had it with you're hypocritical self-justifications!
Megaman: (While running away from a gigantic Spark attack delivered by Spark Chan) Hh ... you're better than I though you'd - whu???
(Megaman find himself yanked off his feet and pulled towards Magnetman!)
Magnetman: Hey, Mega! Do you know what happens when a magnet gets too close to a computer?
(Magnetman grabs Megaman and charges his magnetic field as high as it'll go.)
Magnetman: They get FRIED!
Spark Chan: Magnet .... stop! You're going to -
(Spark Chan's warning comes too late. Megaman is blown to bits! Small round balls of light mark his destruction.)
Magnetman: Exit one robot-retard. Winnah and new cham-peeen: Magnet the mighty!!
Snakeman: Magnet the moron is more like it!
Snakeman: You idiot! Don't you get it? You just killed Megaman! The greatest hero of Monsteropolis!
Magnetman: .... so?
Snakeman: So? SO!?
Spark Chan: So, hun, you just might have made the Mechanical Maniacs public enemy number one.
What happens next? And what of the captured 'Maniacs members and the Sinister Six? And what of Topman, still inside of The Ark? Find all these answers in the next thrilling installment!
|Classi Cal as .....||
|Raijin as .....||
|Psycho Magnet as .....||
|Hadrian Howell as .....||
|Nightmare as .....||
|Lennon as .....||
|Jonathan S. as .....||
|Gauntlet as .....||