By Gauntlet (Shadowman)
It's a fine day. The sun is shining, the grass is green. Wily is in jail, Bizarro is behind a dumpster. All seems well, except....
Snakeman: It seems we need money to survive.
The 'Maniacs: Hh.
Snakeman: Aren't you guys ..... sorta famous?
Hardman: Ah ...... nah, man. We learned that the hard way. *
(*see Series 4 #13)
Snakeman: Well, okay. Okay. But ...... how did you guys survive before? I mean ...... you really had to have paid money at SOME point!
Needlegal: Actually, that makes for an interesting story!
Geminiman: The old Warehouse was abandoned and we (or rather "they" since I wasn't here then) squatted. And then Hardman got a big cash reward from the Mayor.*
(*Series 1 Solo 2)
Snakeman: Yes, I know that already.
Geminiman: Well, in addition that all that, Jacob* was not only a great wrestler, but an excellent financial strategist!
(* Jacob was the 'Maniac's first Snakeman)
Snakeman: Jacob? Really?
Geminiman: Yes.
Snakeman: I woulda never figured.
Geminiman: Well he was. And, by moving our old base the Technodrome all the time (it has huge tank treads you know) we were able to avoid our taxes.
Shadowman: Plus we paid in counterfeit money allot too. Don't forget that.
Geminiman: Yes.
Snakeman: But ........ if that's the case, how'd you lose it all!?
.......
Needlegal: Reckless and frivolous spending.
Shadowman: Gambling debts and tax evasion fees.
Geminiman: Bail money.
Topman: Power usage. Reprogramming Gamma. Avoiding THE MAN!!!!
.....
Snakeman: *sigh* So how are we supposed to live without money?
Magnetman: We live BANDIT STYLE! No rules to hold us down! Living as we please! Taking what we want and -
Sparkman: Oh no! That's IMMORAL! I won't do it!
Magnetman: Aw, Hell! Then what do YOU wanna do?
Sparkman: Wait.
Magnetman: Wait?
Sparkman: Yes! If we wait surely the money will come to US!
Snakeman: That's not -
Shadowman: That's a GREAT PLAN! I'm all for it!
Snakeman: But ..... the bills will not pay themselves!
Shadowman: Oh, tut tut. Never you mind about those pesky bills. I will handle that!
*Gauntlet disappears!*
Snakeman: ........ Somehow I don't think he will.
Hardman: So, whadya guys think? I'm stumped!
Topman: Don't worry! I have a plan...
(A few hours later.....)
Topman: LEMONAID! Get yer ice cool lemonade!
Sparkman: Sure to cure what ails ya!
Snakeman: This is a stupid idea. I feel ridiculous.
Sparkman: Quiet. You'll scare off the customers.
Snakeman: Customers? WHAT COSTOMERS!?
Sparkman: With that sort of attitude, no one will come to our stand.
Snakeman: Now, see here....
(Snakeman gets up and begins pacing.)
Snakeman: We're at a little wooden stand in some suburb. We may as well stay at home!
Geminiman: I dunno, Raj. I tried this once before. It gave me a bit of spending money.
Snakeman: Yeah, I tried it too. When I was TEN! People buy these things from little kids, not robot masters! And, don't call me "Raj"!
Xelloss: Oh .... do lighten up, Raj!
Snakeman: AHH!! Xelloss! Where did you come from?
Xelloss: I was paying 'ol Gauntlet a visit. But he was in a bad mood and was quite rude to me so I left to see what you were up to.
Sparkman: Gauntlet was mean to you? But that's not like him!
Geminiman: Uhhhhh....
Topman: Hmmmmmm....
Snakeman: *scratches head*
Needlegal: You really don't know him very well, do you?
Xelloss: Oh, nevermind that. He just needs a nap. So, what is it you're up to? Running a lemonade stand?
Topman: That's right! Would you like a sip, Xel?
Xelloss: Why, I don't mind if I do!
(Xelloss pays one dollar and takes a cup of freshly squeezed lemonade He takes a sip as Topman watches anxiously.)
Topman: Well? How is it?
Xelloss: Oh, I'm afraid this really doesn't cut it for me.
Topman: AW!
Sparkman: But we tried so hard!
Xelloss: Don't worry, I can help you! All this needs is a little sugar! After all, it's the sugar people love, not the lemons! Everyone knows that!
(Xelloss adds sugar as Topman looks on anxiously.)
Xelloss: No ..... now I think I added too much. Well, I'll just add some water and some lemonade mix here...
Needlegal: Xelloss! This is ALL-NATURAL lemonade!
Xelloss: Oh, don't worry! No one will know!
(Xelloss sips the lemonade after adding the artificial lemonade)
Xelloss: No, no, no ..... this will simply not do at all. Give me a minute here.
Geminiman: Xelloss ..... what are you doing.
Xelloss: Oh, come now, Mr. Gemini. Don't you trust me?
Geminiman: No, actually.
Xelloss: Oh? And after all we've been through? I'm hurt!
Geminiman: YOU TRIED TO KILL US AND TAKE OVER THE UNIVERSE!*
(*Series 3 #24)
Xelloss: But that really wasn't MY fault! I was just following lord Beastmaster's orders.
Geminiman: Even so -
Xelloss: WELL, the lemonade is all done! I think you'll find it quite superior to your initial batch.
(The 'Maniacs taste the lemonade)
Magnetman: There's something strange about this batch of lemonade...
Hardman: HE SPIKED IT! Alright!
Needlegal: He spiked the lemonade! Xelloss!
(The team looks around, but Xel has already disappeared.)
Lan: Excuse me?
......
Magnetman: Yes?
Lan: Can I have some lemonade for me and my friends?
Needlegal: Sorry, kid, but -
(Snakeman claps Needle's mouth shut with his hand.)
Snakeman: You got any parents near here, kid?
Lan: What? Why?
Snakeman: You know .....to pay for you of course!
Lan: Um ..... no. It's just me, Dex, Yai, and Mayl. But we all have plenty of money.
Snakeman: FABULOUS! Well, then, we have plenty of lemonade! tie needle up, guys! We're still good!
(And so, a few hours later, the 'Maniacs return to their base...)
Geminiman: Well, the lemonade plan worked out well I think.
Needlegal: You should all feel ashamed of yourselves.
Snakeman: And where have you been all day?
Shadowman: I have a plan to make more money.
Sparkman: Is it true you were mean to poor Xelloss?
Xelloss: He was very mean.
Shadowman: You'll live.
Snakeman: Well, I guess things turned out all right...
Magnetman: I guess...
Xelloss: Wait! Don't quit now!
Needlegal: Why not?
Xelloss: Because, after all that you actually lost money! Don't you wanna make some instead?
Snakeman: Wait .... lost money? How do you figure? After those "alterations" you shamelessly made to our lemonade -
Xelloss: But remember, it was you who sold the lemonade -
Snakeman: We made quite a few bucks! How could we have lost money?
Xelloss: Well, I'm no mathematician, but add the cost of lemons with the cost of Lemon flavoring, with the cost of sugar with the cost of vodka and you'll have to agree -
Snakeman: DAMN YOU, XELLOSS!
Xelloss: Damn, me?? I don't think any of that was my fault.
Magnetman: It was very much your fault!
Xelloss: *ahem* well, there's no use to dwell on it. At any rate, I have a suggestion ....... that is if you aren't adverse to doing real work!
(The following day ......)
Snakeman: Hello, and welcome to Mc. Donalds. May I take your order?
Hardman: This ain't so bad.
(Magnetman walks by with a mop in hand)
Magnetman: Speak for yourself.
Needlegal: I dunno. I really like this cooking!
(Needle flips a paddie into the air with the greatest of ease!)
Xelloss: Hello, there.
Snakeman: What do you want, Xelloss?
Xelloss: Oh, where's that customer service Mc. Donalds is famous for?
Snakeman: What do you want, Xelloss?
Xelloss: A medium coke and some fries!
Snakeman: Will that be all?
Xelloss: Oh, yes, that will be quite enough, But I'd like it without spit.
Snakeman: Well, "sir" .... you can have your coke or you can choose not to drink spit. You can't have both.
Xelloss: Hmmm. I think I'll go to Harvey's.
Snakeman: You do that.
Xelloss: Oh, by the way ....... there seems to be an angry mob here to see you. Later!
(Xelloss disappears!)
Snakeman: Wh-what?
A mom: You're the people! You're those horrible people that gave alcohol to all those children!
Sparkman: Uh-oh.
Geminiman: Ummmmm no. That was the X -
A mom: DON'T LIE!
A dad: I say We kill them all!
Snakeman: Now hold on here! That wasn't us! Everyone knows we have all SORTS of doppelgangers running around! It's one of THEM!
A mom: GET THEM!
(The 'Maniacs run out of Mc Donalds with the angry mob chasing after them!)
Needlegal: I told you that was a bad idea!
Snakeman: Shut up! We need to run!
Hardman: Awww ...I liked Mc Donalds.
(The 'Maniacs round a corner and meet up with angry parents at every turn! Finally, desperate, the 'Maniacs resort to their final strategy...)
Magnetman: Guys, I think it;s time for ...... Strategy C.
Sparkman: No! Not ..... strategy C.
Needlegal: I'm afraid Magnet is correct. Let's just do it and get it over with,
(Promptly the MM3 team falls to their knees before the crowd.)
Magnetman: We're sorry!
Snakeman: We'll never do it again!
Geminiman: I was that other MM3 team's fault! Honest! It wasn't US!
A mom: We don't believe you!
Another mom: Wait! LOOK!
(The crowd watches as several odd copies of the MM3 team run by towards the ark.)
.....
A mom: Oh. I guess it was a different team.
The 'Maniacs: *blink*
A dad: Hm. Well........ uh ...... sorry.
....
The 'Maniacs: *blink*
(The crowd disperses.)
The 'Maniacs: *blink*
(And so, the Mechanical Maniacs return home ......)
Waveman: I can't get it off!
Torchman: Of all the immature..
Shadowman: Ah, glad to see you made it out in one piece!
Bitman: YOU! Pirates - ATTACK!
Shadowman: Sorry to tell you this, but those pirates weren't made to last. They fell to pieces the moment they tried to do anything too extreme - like attack me!
Blademan: Ahhh, but it's still SIX against ONE! You can't hope to beat all of us!
Behind them: *AHEM*
(The PC team turn around to see the Mechanical Maniacs in formation behind them.)
.....
Oilman: Do you think we can take them? I think we can take them!
Torchman: Yeah!
Blademan: ...... uh ......
Sharkman: LET'S GET OUTTA HERE!
(The PC team retreats!)
Oilman: What!?
Torchman: COWARDS! Get back here! *turns to the 'Maniacs* You haven't seen the last of us!
(The PC team run out of sight.)
Snakeman: Do we wanna know?
Shadowman: No.
Geminiman: What's with all the broken pieces of us lying around?
Shadowman: You don't wanna know.
Topman: Anything we DO wanna know?
Shadowman: Yes. I made a few thousand dollars!
Snakeman: WHAT!? YOU!? Mr. No-work? Mr. counterfeit money machine?
Shadowman: That can still work. I still think the counterfeit money thing could work.
Needlegal: Do you wanna know what we were up to?
.......
Shadowman: No.
Needlegal: But it was really exciting!
Shadowman: I know. But while I was hiding up in the rafters I got some itching powder on me. Now I gotta take a shower to get it all off. Later.
Snakeman: Well, I guess things turned out all right...
Magnetman: I guess...
Needlegal: And we learned something today too...
Magnetman: When?
Needlegal: We learned that Shadowman really isn't all that smart. And sometimes the best laid plans of mice and men fail miserably.
Sparkman: Wait ...... Shadowman earned money ...... but we, the responsible and honest bots earned nothing at all.
Snakeman: Don't remind me.
Topman: So until we're caught by dozens of angry dark warriors, we are ..... The Mechanical Maniacs!
The End
Cast: |
|||||
Musashiden Razz as ..... | Sparkman |
Raijin as ..... | Snakeman |
Psycho Magnet as ..... | Needlegal |
Hadrian Howell as ..... | Hardman |
Nightmare as ..... | Topman |
||
Lennon as ..... | Geminiman |
Jonathan S. as ..... | Magnetman |
Gauntlet as ..... | Shadowman |