Hardman's Bar

By Hadrian Howell (Hardman)

Chapter 42

Organ music crashed down on our heads from somewhere above us. A classical sound that covered up the sliding glass noise as Eden and Hades began to shamble toward us.

“Too easy,” I growled, firing a Hard Knuckle at the pink one, which I’ll refer to as Hades for now.

My attack hit home, shattering three of its pieces of glass, but as my fist returned to me, the shards and pieces and dust gathered back into their place on Hades’s body.

“Well, crap,” I said, giving the rest of the team a shrug. “Well, I’m outta ideas.”

Magnetman threw his hands up in the air. “How’re they moving? They’re just glass! I already tried using a magnetic field on them, and that didn’t work at all.”

“You did?” Needlegal asked.

“Yes, I did,” Magnetman nodded. “And if my Magnet Missiles can’t hurt them any other way than exploding, I doubt they’ll be any more effective than Hardman’s attack.”

“Nice and insightful,” I nodded. He had a point, after all.

Topman gave the two approaching glass monstrosities a grim look. “Then we’ll see how they like being thrown around!” With that, he shot out at them, skating furiously, and spinning just soon enough to crash between them with a high-speed Top Spin. Eden and Hades seemed to react poorly, and pink and blue pieces of glass flew EVERYWHERE. The other Mechs threw themselves to the ground to avoid the shards of glass, but I figured I’d be okay.

I was wrong, as one piece passed within an inch of me and left a neat cut in my armor. Monomolecular edges. Cute.

The pieces that had gone flying set back into their places in the larger window, which was starting to spin around the room like a Technicolor merry-go-round. The few pieces Topman had thrown to the four winds reassembled themselves into smaller humanoid shapes, the blue one pursuing Topman with a much faster stride, and the pink one dashing at us with an almost unbelievable speed.

I swore aloud and fired off a Knuckle, catching the thing in the body, but not slowing it down any. It raise a razor-edged arm high in anticipation of slicing one of us clean in half, but Shadowman stepped in the way and blocked the deadly slash with a Shadow Blade. He wouldn’t last long, though, as the glass was already starting to cut through the throwing star.

Geminiman let out a battlecry and fired a Gemini Laser that hit its mark, but then something weird happened. The laser slammed into one of the glass pieces and became… trapped somehow, bouncing in and out of different pieces of glass before being redirected at Needlegal, who nimbly dodged the bright blue beam.

“Watch it!” she shouted at Gemini.

“Sorry!” he shouted, I could see him try to think of something different to try.

I fired off my other knuckle as my first one returned to me, and Magnetman peppered the thing with missiles, the explosions and shattering damage stalling it enough for Shadowman to duck out of the way as the sword-like arm sliced through the floor.

“Does ANYTHING hurt these things?” Magnetman asked over the crashing notes of the Organ from above.

“Let’s try something different,” Snakeman called, pointing at the spinning window and firing a few Search Snakes at it. My other arm clicked into place, and I fired both into the spinning window, but before I could see what kind of effect they had, Hades sped into my field of vision and leapt to stab me in the face. He seemed a little smaller now, but that wasn’t foremost on my mind.

I backpedaled with a shout as Needlegal blasted it to pieces with her Needlecannon, but even before the last pieces shattered, the first was starting to come back together. I took the opportunity to get some distance between me and it, and looked at the spinning window. I caught a glimpse of a few holes in it from my Hard Knuckles and Snakeman’s snakes. I wondered if they had any effect when a cry from Topman redirected my attention.

He was skating backwards, holding his shoulder in obvious pain as Eden pursued him, almost matching his speed. I gave him a call as my hands clicked back into place, and he ducked with expert timing as my hands sailed over his head to slam, open palmed, into Eden, giving off the effect of tons of blue glitter being thrown in every direction. My arms weren’t even done getting back to me before Eden was whole again, though. Topman skated around behind me to catch his breath.

“These things are unreal!” He managed between breaths.

“You okay?”

“It sting like hell, but I’ll live,” he said with a shrug. “Hey, check it out…”

I followed his gaze, and noticed the window was starting to slow down, even coming to a stop. I could see now the havoc Snakeman and I had managed to wreck on it, as well as a few more holes, probably from Snakeman and Magnetman. Geminiman had split into all six copies, running around to occupy Hades, while Needlegal, Shadowman, and Sparkchan were combining their efforts to keep Eden in one place by constantly destroying it.

I fired a Hard Knuckle into the window as the glass began to shift and move, smashing another hole in it, but not seeming to deter it in any way as thousands of colored pieces started to building something out of the wall. It looked like… Some kind of giant guillotine?

Realization hit me as the construction spread across the room, connecting to the other wall.

“EVERYBODY! LOOK OUT!” I bellowed, grabbing Topman out from under the edged terror as it rose up, and then slammed down with a force that could have cut a mountain in half, leaving a deep cut across the floor of the room. Shouts and cries of surprise and alarm mirrored my own as the thing went back up above our heads, and started spinning around like the window had done. A beheading kind of Russian Roulette.

Topman grabbed my arm. “You know what I told you never to do again?”

“What?” I asked, keeping my eye on the dangerous blade.

“Throw me, you idiot!” he shouted over a fresh wave of Organ music. Under different circumstances, I would have listened to the progressing chords and melodies for fun.

My memory kicked backwards to an altered reality where I had, indeed, thrown Topman. I gave a mental shrug and grabbed the little guy by the head, giving him what he wanted and throwing him like a baseball at the window-turned-executioner’s blade. He was spinning before he left my hand.

Kinetic force slammed into razor sharp glass, and the result was something like a horrendous rain of pointed death. I got peppered with splinters which stuck into my armor, which saved me, but the others…

Well, I really didn’t have to worry. A quick look saw Sparkchan putting all her effort into making a sort of electrical umbrella, simply vaporizing any and all shards that would have been dangerous to the team mates gathered around her. The rain of death last only a few seconds, and when the storm cleared, Topman landed deftly on his feet across the chamber from me, turning to give me a dizzy kind of thumbs up.

And then the Organ music rose dramatically, and Eden slammed into his side.

The being made of blue glass rolled and came up standing, halting for a mere moment before dashing at Magnetman, who slowed it down enough to move away from it. Needlegal and Shadowman were concentrating on Hades, but I was running toward Topman, who’d hit the ground and hadn’t moved since. That was bad.

I was breathing heavy as I reached the little guy. “Tops!” I shouted. “Speak ta me!”