Hardman's Bar

By Hadrian Howell (Hardman)

Chapter 7

After another round of good mornings and the heavy application of an icepack to my forehead, the next day (which was a Wednesday) was dawning. Well, actually, it had already dawned, but I was sure it could do that without me. Needlegal seemed pretty convinced Noon couldn’t… whatever Noon does… with out, though, so I choked down the hangover and lumbered around for a while.

Gauntlet, oddly enough, was still MIA. Normally, he disappears for a while but shows up when something interesting is going to happen. Gemini and Needle didn’t seem that concerned, though, and Magnet and Snake just flat out didn’t care. Taking the helm temporarily, Gemini split everyone into teams. Well, ALMOST everyone.

Geminiman and Sparkchan were going to go look for information down by the seaside district, where a large part of the Human criminal element hangs out. If the arsonist was human, Gemini said, they’d find out something down there. Pretty much everyone else on the team just tolled their eyes, knowing full well this was Gemini using the ‘two to a team’ excuse to get some time alone with Sparkchan. Funnily enough, nobody ever really asked her how SHE felt about it.

Magnetman and Needlegal got paired up to go check out the business district. This made sense to me, at least, because Magnet’s often-times off the wall approach meshed surprisingly well with Needlegal’s headstrong, no nonsense attitude. Of course, I’d put off bringing up my suspicions about Needlegal because I didn’t want to cause any undue tension while I was gathering the facts, and also because I really couldn’t believe it myself.

The fact that my safe had been emptied was something I kept close to my vest. What the team didn’t know about my finances didn’t hurt me. That, and I really didn’t need Mags or Snake coming to the same idea I did that the person all the evidence pointed to was Needlegal. That was just a waste of time and band aids.

Topman and Snakeman, being the fastest and slyest among us, headed out to the residential district. I remember Snake talking wildly about dressing Top up like a girl scout to distract people while Snake snooped around in their houses, but knowing Top that idea didn’t go very far.

Which left me. I didn’t get a partner, which in the long run I was okay with. In the short run, I was going to make Gemini pay for his “But you count as two people, because you’re that fat,” line. Justice is a wonderful concept, and no court in the world would convict me.

With a lack of direction from our stand-in leader, I decided I’d best check out the first scene of the crime, so I trundled down to the Diner. Like my bar, it had been burned from the inside out, but this one had several more footprints all over it. It also had an entirely other team prowling around.

Now, a lot can be said about Drastic Measures. The first thing anyone’ll say about them is that they live up to their name. Drastic Measures, in the past fiscal year, has been directly responsible for over half the damages to the city. However, with this perhaps too-high price comes results. Confusing, colorful, laughable results, but results nonetheless. It was Junkman who spotted me first.

“Hey, guys, look who joined the party,” he shouted over his shoulder at his rummaging team mates.

I suddenly had a face full of Cloudman who, when floating his maximum height off the ground, is still within my arm’s reach. “Hey! What’s a Maniac doing here? This is OUR case! The city called US in on this one! Stop hogging our spotlight!”

Normally, if someone talks to me like that, they start losing teeth at an alarming rate, but Cloudman’s always been a little hyperactive. He gets by on account of the amount of cola he drinks. “Calm down ya airheaded spaz,” I growled, batting him out of my eyes. “The city called the Mechs in on this thin’ yesterday. We got to it first, so back off.”

“Well, we got OUR phone call the day BEFORE yours, so nyeh!” Cloudman shouted like a six year old. If he had a tongue, he’d probably have stuck it out at me.

“I am NOT havin’ this conversation with you. Oy, Junk, is Turbo around?”

The conglomeration of scrap parts that was the Drastic Measures strongman answered with a nod. “He and Burst are around here somewhere.”

“Somebody mention me?” Burst asked, strolling up. His attention was focused on Junkman as he approached, and it apparently took him a second to notice me. I could tell when he did, because he jumped a little. “Oh… bloody hell, Hardman, you scared me.”

“I’ve been doin’ that a lot lately, it seems,” I sighed.

“Hardman!” I heard the voice call out from a distance, but it wasn’t long before Turboman had joined the group. Turboman was a regular at my bar ever since Drastic Measures was formed. I think he used the small amounts of booze he bought to cope with the rest of his team. Lord knows I wouldn’t blame him. “How’s it going? How’s business?”

“Burnt,” I answered tersely.

“Oh,” he returned. “I guess that’s why you’re here.”

“I’m looking for similarities between the two cases,” I nodded. “What have you guys found?”

“We don’t have to tell you nothing!” Cloudman screeched. He would have continued if Burstman hadn’t encased him in a Danger Wrap, sans the explosive. A rather irate Cloudman began to battle with his watery prison with little effect.

“Sorry about him. He’s kind of going through a withdraw phase,” Turboman said, shaking his head.

“We haven’t been able to afford any cola or food for almost a week now,” Burst put in.

“I’d help ya out,” I said, spreading my hands, “but all my money’s tied up.”

“Rebuilding the bar?” Turbo asked hopefully.

“Somethin’ like that,” I shrugged.

“I’ll tell you, Hardman, you place was SO much better than Terri’s down on Sprocket and Flywheel. That place waters down its booze something fierce.”

“Is that where you go when you don’t show yer mug around my place?” I wondered aloud. That answered the question of what happened to Turboman on the days I didn’t see him. Turbo started to look nervous and I shook my head. “Nevermind any o’ that. Find anythin’ around here?”

Junk looked back at the wreckage and swept his arm out in a grand gesture. “Looks like an inside job. Somebody probably kicked the stove up to max and left the gas main open.”

“Same thin’ that happened ta me,” I nodded.

“Well, if it’s a serial arsonist, that really rules out insurance fraud,” Burst said, looking at Turbo.

“Well, Slash and Freeze will be able to tell us about their visit with the Diner’s owner when we rendezvous with us back at base. For right now, however, we’ll rule out the insurance angle.”

“Hey, here’s a thought,” I said, thinking of something. “I didn’t catch the news this mornin’. Did anywhere ELSE burn down?”

Junk nodded. “Yeah, some place downtown. Seafood joint. Sinister Six have already been all over it and they reported pretty much the same scenario as what we have figured out here.”

“The Six are in on this one too?” I asked, a little amazed.