Series 5 Issue #16 - Much Ado About Twincest!

We open on a rain-soaked morning, where two of our heroes plan for an uneventful day...

Snakeman: Man, this sucks. There's nothing to do. Where is everyone anyways?!

Magnetman: Well, Hard's doing inventory ... somewhere (he's been working on something, i tell ya), Needle's at the diner, Spark's hosting some event at the Mango Tree, and Topman and Gauntlet ran off claiming they had a brilliant new "get-rich-quick" scheme.

Snakeman: This sucks! Does EVERYONE ELSE have part time jobs now?! Even Lennon's been bringing in more income than us lately.

Magnetman: ... what HAS he been doing, anyways?

Snakeman: I assume some sort of illegal activity, I mean he's been really secretive about the whole thing.

Magnetman: Nah, around us that's practically something to BRAG about... he's probably cleaning toilets or something, haha. Hey, you want to play video games?

Snakeman: Nah... you wanna go see a movie?

Magnetman: As tempted as spending the other team mates' hard-earned money is, going out in the rain? No thanks... I wonder what's on TV?

(Magnetman clicks a button on the remote, and a news story begins playing on the television screen.)

News Reporter: And as civilians look on in horror, flames continue to engulf the Megalopolis Country Club, where several workers are still trapped inside...

Snakeman: Oh God, that's horrible! ...there's not even anything good on TV! *shuts off the TV*

Magnetman: Well, when one glowing screen fails us...

20 minutes of net-surfing later...

Snakeman: Even the forums are at a stand-still! Are we in an episode of the Twilight Zone or something?!

Magnetman: Hey, let's look up everybody's name on Google and see what pops up!

Snakeman: Ew, that's so 1998...

(Suddenly from the answering machine comes the panicked voice of the Mayor of Megalopolis)

Mayor: Mechanical Maniacs, calling the Mechanical Maniacs, if any of you are there there's a crisis at the Country Club, we need you here immedi-

Snakeman: Yeah, alright, who should we start with? Hard Man?

Magnetman: Yeah, if you want to get a million results that lead to porn sites. What about Gauntlet?

Snakeman: Please, if his CATCHPHRASE was stolen, how many other people do you think have his name?

Magnetman: What about Nightmare?

Both: ...

Magnetman: Yeah, you're right, who cares. Alright, Gemini Man it is.

(Magnetman and Snakeman eagerly look at the monitor as the results page loads, until...)

Both: Oh. My. GOD.

Later that night, as everyone returns from their busy day...

Needlegal: Whoever invented customer service will be getting a very unfriendly telegram, I swear to God...

Spark-chan: Aww, that bad, eh hun?

Hardman: How could we possibly be short 24 boxes of peanuts?!

Gauntlet: So I guess selling overpriced peanuts to kids at the zoo isn't the best get-rich-quick scheme, eh Toppers?

Topman: Yeah, I guess. Too bad our idea to sell turbo vacuum cleaners didn't work either. Who knew that you need a patent for inventions now?

Spark-chan: How was your day Lennon?

Geminiman: Erm, I don't wanna talk about it.

Magnetman: *grinning* I think we know why, Gemmy old pal!

Geminiman: Hm?

Snakeman: You guys are NEVER gonna guess what we found today!

Needlegal: Jobs?

Hardman: The quarter that fell behind the sofa cushions?

Gauntlet: Nirvana?

Magnetman: Nope, we found...

Snakeman: It can't even be put into words, it's too wonderful and horrifying at the same time.

Magnetman: Step into our parlour...

Topman: What could possibly be so exciting that it's necessary to build up THIS MUCH dramatic tension?

Magnetman: Just take a look at our new homepage, and all will be revealed.

Gauntlet: You replaced my Autobots homepage preset?! You bastards!

Snakeman: Gaunts, believe me when I say, this is MUCH better...

Needlegal: What? What is it?!

Hardman: *stoops over to take a look* ... Oh lord... *reads* Official pictures of popular Megaverse twincest pairing, the Gemini Man twins?!

(All eyes turn to a very reddened Lennon.)

Topman, Needlegal, Spark-chan and Gauntlet: WHAT?

Geminiman: ...well, I mean, it was good money! And it's not like it was another guy, it was myself, so it's not like it really counts, it's like mas-

All except Geminiman: Ewwwww.

Topman: Dude, that is a little too much information.

Geminiman: It wasn't supposed to be posted on the internet though! I signed a contract!! They told me it was for an upcoming artist doing a piece on twins, it was supposed to be tasteful!

Spark-chan: So THAT'S the job you've been doing for the past couple of days?

Geminiman: This is horrible!

Gauntlet: This is priceless!

Needlegal: Gauntlet!!

Gauntlet: What?! Come on, this is hilarious! I've never heard of anybody in a situation more awkward than this one!

Spark-chan: So what do we do?

Magnetman: What do we do? We laugh!

Needlegal: Mags, he's our team mate! Be a little more sensitive!

Snakeman: Uh oh. Think of the field day the press would have if they got wind of this.

Topman: Our enemies... our friends! We'd be the laughing stock of the entire community!

Hardman: We've gotta put a stop to this! Gauntlet, can't we sue them for breach of contract?

Gauntlet: And turn this into a media circus? Oh no. I think enough of us have seen Lennon's butt... correction, butts, to last us up to the end of eternity.

Geminiman: Shut up.

Magnetman: Now now, Lennon, don't be cheeky!

All except Geminiman: HAHAHAHA!

Spark-chan: Erm, sorry Lennon, *giggles*, you have to admit it's a little funny though.

Geminiman: I'm never gonna live this down...

Topman: Alright perv, c'mon, let's go track down this webmaster.

And at the modeling studio...

Geminiman: What do you mean, you don't know who hired me?!

Secretary: We were told it was for an individual artist, which means we didn't need to get any company information.

Gauntlet: Well you should still have gotten a phone number, an e-mail, some way of contacting them?!

Secretary: Well, no, but look, he gave me this mug! See? It says "A model employee"! Get it? Because I work in a modeling studio?

Needlegal: Great, so we're back to square one.

Snakeman: More like square suck. We can't bring attention to the website, which means we can't ask anyone to track the website owner, or the server or anything!

Spark-chan: Well, there is one option, but...

Hardman: But what?

Topman: Lennon's butt?

(Everyone snickers, excluding Lennon of course.)

Spark-chan: Well, it could work, but I don't know if Lennon would be comfortable with-

Geminiman: Oh god, that's not a good way to start a sentence.

Hardman: It might be the only way for us to track them down.

Magnetman: And lord knows we don't need that site up for any longer than we can help it.

Geminiman: Alright, Sparks, let's hear it.

A couple of days later, again at the modeling studio...

Photographer: I still can't believe you wanted to come back. You have no idea how much better the site will get with a few more pictures.

Geminiman: What can I say, I'm a bit of an exhibitionist I guess.

Photographer: Alright, well we're all done here for today, and thanks again. Let us know if you're ever up for it again.

Geminiman: *muttering* Not frigging likely, I had to be dragged back here in the first pla-

Topman: *over headset* Guys, why did I have to be crammed in the back seat?

Gauntlet: *over headset* Because you're the smallest, shrimpy, get used to it.

Topman: *over headset* Guys, why do I have to be the smallest?

Magnetman: *over headset* Would you rather look like Hard Man?

Hardman: *over headset* Hey, shut up!

Needlegal: *over headset* Guys, can we just concentrate on Top's directions?

Topman: *over headset* And then we took another right. I'm at a motel, the guy went into room 5. I'll wait for you here at the front.

And upon their arrival...

Snakeman: So whose nefarious plot do you think this was? Wily's been doing some pretty desperate attempts to embarrass us lately, maybe this is his work?

Gauntlet: Whatever, whoever it is, it's not like we haven't beaten them before. But be prepared for anything, we won't know what we'll find on the other side of that door.

(The Mechanical Maniacs brace themselves, and kick the door to the motel room down, only to find...)

All: Xelloss?!!

Xelloss: Hello all! I figured you'd get here about now. Alright, well there's no need for any of us to fight, I took down the website while you tracked me down.

Spark-chan: What? Why?! You come up with this nefarious plot to ruin our reputations, and then pull the plug? It doesn't make sense, Xelloss.

Xelloss: Nefarious plot? Oh my, no! Plot, maybe, but this was just for fun!

Magnetman: For fun?!

Xelloss: Yes, the weather's been terrible lately and I haven't really felt like doing anything, so I decided to mess with your heads a little. But now that that's over with, it's not like I made the site for my enjoyment, good lord no, so I took it down. Anyways, toodles! *disappears*

Geminiman: My entire reputation was ruined because Xelloss was bored?!

Hardman: On the plus side, Xelloss left the film here! Hello blackmail!

Snakeman: Well, I guess things turned out all right then...

Magnetman: I guess.

Geminiman: This is the most embarrassing week of my life.

Needlegal: Well, at least we learned something.

Spark-chan: I'm not surprised, our adventures often prove to be surprisingly educational!

Needlegal: That's right, and this week we learned that boredom leads to terrible things. If Xelloss hadn't been bored this never would have happened, and if Rai and Mags had lives outside of the house then they wouldn't have stumbled upon this entire disturbing chain of events.

Snakeman: Hey, I resent that, I do plenty of things outside of the house. Why just today I was invited by none other than the mayor himself to the Megalopolis Country Club!

Gauntlet: Isn't that the place that was on fire today?

Snakeman: I dunno, I wasn't really listening.

Gauntlet: Cool, wanna get a burger?

Topman: Well, until we actually do something heroic, we are...... The Mechanical Maniacs!

The End


Classi Cal as .....
Spark Chan
Raijin as .....
Psycho Magnet as .....
Hadrian Howell as .....
    Nightmare as .....
Lennon as .....
Jonathan S. as .....
Gauntlet as .....


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