Series 6 Issue #3 - Some kind of Freaky Roll

By Gauntlet (Shadowman)

---

It's morning in the ciy of Monsteropolis. The Mechanical Maniacs have their first new member in a very long time - Kenta Eigen! Shadowman walks into the cafeteria and greets some members of the team while they eat breakfast.)

Spark Chan: Good morning, Shady!

Shadowman: Yo, all.

Topman: So, how'd you sleep?

Shadowman: Like a log! Being back in this old place is great.

Geminiman: Err ... do you think living in a base built by your twisted evil doppelganger is really okay?

....

Shadowman: Sure.

Topman: Yeah, this place was one of our best bases!

Hardman: And there's lotsa living space.

Geminiman: I'm just saying we might have some cause for concern.

Shadowman: So, you guys had breakfast with the new Magnet, right? And we've worked together a bit.

....

Hardman: Yeah.

Geminiman: We have.

....

Shadowman: So, what do you think? Things were off to a rocky start, but now that you're a little better aquainted ...

....

Hardman: He's a jerk.

Geminiman: He's a jerk.

Spark Chan: He's a little intense.

Topman: He's a jerk.

Shadowman: Yeah, he is a little intense .... So none of you guys like him?

Topman: I hate him.

Hardman: He threw me into a building when we first met and still hasn't apologized.

Spark Chan: He's been rude. Aren't the Japanese supposed to be polite?

Geminiman: It's like he wants to fight me to prove some sort of point! Where'd you dig him up?

Shadowman: Well .... Jonathan gave him a big reccomendation .... And his track record fighting organised crime was impressive .....

(Soon, Snakeman and Needle join the group.)

Shadowman: Yo, guys!

Snakeman: So, where'd you dig up that new guy?

Shadowman: You too?

Needlegal: He's arrogant and pretentious! I don't like him.

Shadowman: Yeah, but .... you think that of everybody.

Needlegal: Not .... everybody.....

Shadowman: Well .... let's give the guy a chance.

The Team: *grumbles*

The radio: Mechanical Maniacs! Come in!

Shadowman: We read you, chief.

The radio: There's been a robbery at one of Dr. Light's development labs. I want you guys to check it out.

Shadowman: Right. (Turns off the radio) Alright, guys, let's finish up breakfast quick!

(A few minutes later, the 'Maniacs arrive at the scene. The new Magnetman is already there.)

Magnetman: You're all late.

Shadowman: You're early.

Magnetman: *hmph*

Geminiman: So, what've you found out, Magnet?

Magnetman: It apprears a gang of robots took several pieces of analytical equipment. The security robots couldn't stop them and they managed to escape. Through sheer luck, they managed to avoid being spotted on most of the cameras here, but there was one clue left behind by our adversaries leading me to a prime suspect in this case.

(The 'Maniacs follow Magnet to a wall outside of the building.)

Topman: Oh ....

Geminiman: You have got to be kidding me.

(There, spray-painted on the wall, in big letters were the words, "Mechs suck, the S6 RULE!")

....

Needlegal: I'm going to write Dr. Light a memo. He's gotta know his security measures are really, really pathetic.

Magnetman: I don't understand. From what I've read, the Sinister Six PC group are one of your oldest foes. Surely they possess some skill that has allowed them to come this far?

Geminiman: *snort* Yeah, sure. The skill of being rebuilt every time we hand them their heads.

Spark Chan: Now, now, Gemmy-hun. It's not nice to make fun of people weaker than you are.

Magnetman: Hm. Well .... I don't find this amusing at all. Being made fools of by lesser robots? Shameful. When we find these "Sinister Six" people I will show them their proper place.

....

Geminiman: Oh, boy.

Communicator: Mechanical Maniacs! This is dispatch. There's a robbery in progress at the robot jail!

Shadowman: What!?

Communicator: It's your old "Sinister Six" friends!

Topman: All right .... time to show these guys what we're made of.

Magnetman: This will be the last we hear from those losers.

(The Mechanical Maniacs teleport to the robot jail. The robot jail, unlike human jails, only store what is absolutely necessary, for storing entire robots would be a danger to society. Thusly it's a chilling scene for most other robots as their usually means rows of de-activated heads.)

Magnetman: Let's destroy these rejects once and for all.

(The 'Maniacs storm into the building .... to find a surprising scene.)

Torchman: AH-HAH! The fools arrive!

Sharkman: Doood! Looks like everything's going according to plan!

Geminiman: I - I don't believe this!

(Around them are the bodies of the Robot Police that were guarding the prison. And in Torchman's free hand was a black box.)

Snakeman: They have someone's CPU! How the Hell did they get to that thing!?

Oilman: We fought our way through all these guards and managed to capture it, of course.

Snakeman: I .... I can't believe that!

Magnetman: Then beleive this! You're time's up, you pathetic weaklings!

Torchman: Who's this?

Blademan: Looks like another new member.

Waveman: I liked the original Magnet best. Bring back Magnet the Mighty!

Magnetman: Shut up all of you! I'm tearing you limb from limb!

(Magnetman dashes across the floor, to everyone's shock.)

Bitman: This guy's nuts! (In a panic, Bitman launches a burst of electricity from his Bit Cannon! Magnetman is going too fast to stop and it hits him hard!)

Magnetman: GAHH!!

Blademan: Let's do this! While he's surprised! (Blademan launches three blades at Magnetman .... and due to the nature of Magnetman's powers, they hit him with extra force. Magnet falls to the floor in pain.)

Bitman: This'll teach ya, newbie! (Bitman uses his strength to stomp on Magnetman while he's down. The 'Maniacs are stunned.)

Geminiman: They .... They're actually winning!

Snakeman: We can't just let them win.

Shadowman: No, we can't. Let's teach these "Sinister Six" jerks a lesson!

(The 'Maniacs leap into action.)

Sharkman: Dood! The MAN's coming to get us.

Oilman: I got it.

(Oilman sprays the team with oil!)

Topman: GAHH! Get it off!

(Topman performs a Top Spin attack at super speed and sprays oil everywhere!)

Geminiman: Topman ... what the Hell!?

Shadowman: I can't see! It's gotten into my eyes!

Spark Chan: Ooooh .... I can't use my powers! It might set the place on fire. And it's gotten into my HAIR!

Topman: (Slips on the oil!) WOAH! I ... I can't stop!

(Topman barrels into Shadowman with a fully powered Top Spin attack!)

Shadowman: GAHH!! (Shadow falls to the floor.)

Hardman: WOAH! Pull it together, little buddy!

(Hardman grabs a hold of Topman and stops his erratic spin.)

Topman: (while dizzy) Th-thanks .... Hard ...

Hardman: Thanks. Just don't -

Topman: *BLAAARRGHH!!!* (Topman pukes all over Hardman.)

Hardman: .... great.

Snakeman: Hey ... where the Hell is the Sinister Six?

....

Hardman: .... great.

(The Mechanical Maniacs curse as they discover their longtime rivals have escaped.)

Geminiman: This is the worst day .... in the history ... of my life.

Needlegal: These guys are seriously annoying me.

Magnetman: (Getting up) These are the fools you were talking about? They seems formidable to me...

Needlegal: They aren't. They just got lucky.

Snakeman: Come on, guys ... lets go home and clean this gunk off of us. Then we can follow them.

Topman: Right.

(The team teleports to their base, only to find .....)

Snakeman: WE'VE BEEN VANDALISED!

Topman: The Mechs SUCK!? S6 "ROXX"!? I can't believe they wrote this garbage!

Hardman: I'm gonna kill those little jerks. I'm gonna -

(The team is then pelted with fireballs from high up on the Technodrome! The oil, still stuck on them, ignites and the 'Maniacs are set aflame!)

Topman: GWAHH!!!

Torchman: FEEL MY FURY, MECHS!

Blademan: I can't believe that worked! Come on, gang ... let 'em have it!

(Blade, Bit, Oil, Torch, and Shark pour on the attacks, driving the 'Maniacs back.)

Magnetman: This is ... too much!

Sharkman: Doood! We're winning! Dood!!!

Waveman: *sigh* I wish I could be part of the attack.

Oilman: Your weapon would just put out the flames. So, just sit back and watch.

Hardman: That tears it! (Hardman clamps both his hands together and fires a Double-fisted Hard Knuckle at the team's attackers! However, due to his being on fire, he misses anyone useful and only hits Waveman!)

Waveman: GAHH!!

Blademan: Hah hah hah! Serves you right, Wave!

Waveman: It's not funny.

Shadowman: I've ... HAD IT! (Shadowman summons his trademark frog!)

Shadowman: TIME TO FIGHT FIRE WITH FIRE!!

Torchman: Sinister Six ... RETREAT!!

Bitman: heh heh heh ... Right!

Shadowman: WHAT!?

(The Sinister Six teleport out.)

Shadowman: You .... JERKS!

Spark Chan: Somebody ... do something! We can't stay like this!

Hardman: I got it....

(Hardman uses his strength to bust open a nearby fire hydrant and the team washes themselves off. The Oil is gone and their fires are put out .... however ....)

Magnetman: We've sustained heavy damage.

Needlegal: I can't believe they waited for us here. They ambushed us! And we ... fell for it!

Topman: Let's go to their base and kick some ass!

Magnetman: You know where they live?

Geminiman: Absolutely!

Magnetman: And you haven't taken them out for good yet!?

.....

Geminiman: Well, that oversight ends today.

Shadowman: Let's go, 'Maniacs!

(The 'Maniacs teleport to Monsteropolis dump where the S6 base is located. The PC team watches in secret...)

Bitman: They're here.

Blademan: Looks like they managed to put themselves out. Heh heh heh.

Waveman: I doubt that did any real damage.

Torchman: Now .... let the games begin....

(To our heroes who are just now entering Monsteropolis dump....)

Magnetman: I can't believe these guys actually live here.

Snakeman: Yeah, well ... beggers can't be choosers.

Shadowman: Look alive, guys! We got company!

(From under the debris comes an army of reconstructed Metools!)

Spark Chan: Looks like their defenses have improved.

Hardman: Not enough if you ask me!

(With very little effort, the 'Maniacs tear through the army of rebuilt Mets. However, the battle was troublesome .....)

Topman: Damned Metools. Look at me! I just polished my armor yesterday. Now I look like crap. And I smell like crap!

Magnetman: This fight wasn't even worth my time.

Hardman: I'm gonna kick their ass. I swear to God.

(The team bursts into the S6's newly-reconstructed base.)

Shadowman: ALL RIGHT! SHOW YOURSELVES!!

....

Topman: Where are they?

Magnetman: You're sure this is their base?

Snakeman: Yes, we're very, VERY sure.

Magnetman: I don't see them anywhere.

Snakeman: I'll use a Search Snake to find them. Obviously thy're just chicken.

Geminiman: Wait. Did you hear that?

Needlegal: I didn't ..

SPX: B-BBOMM!!

the 'Maniacs: ???!!!

(In a series of explosions, the newly reconstructed base is destroyed! With the Mechanical Maniacs still inside!)

Hardman: Of .... all ... the ...

(Hardman bursts free from the pile of garbage.)

Hardman: It was a trap!

Magnetman: I was able to shield most of us from the explosions, but .... those Sinister Six people .... they are .... worthy of respect.

Geminiman: What!? No they aren't!

Magnetman: They have managed to defeat us all. I can hardly believe I've been beaten. With all my power I .... couldn't stop them!

Geminiman: Yeah, I know it's surprising ... we're surprised too! But that doesn't mean they deserve our respect.

Magnetman: They seemed perfectly competent to me. It's your misinformation that slowed us down! Thinking they weren't worth taking seriously ... But the next time we meet .... I won't underestimate them.

Geminiman: But they really are losers! They just got lucky! Really, really, really lucky!

Spark Chan: Gosh..... I don't see how this day can get much worse.

???: Uh ... excuse me.

Spark Chan: hunh?

April: We just recieved word that the famous Mechanical Maniacs have just been defeated by some of their most fearsome foes.

the 'Maniacs: ....

April: And it looks like the reports were right!

the 'Maniacs: .....

April: Do you have any comments for the viewers watching this at home?

(Later....)

Snakeman: Well, I guess things turned out all right...

Geminiman: "Turned out all right"!?

Snakeman: Well .... we're still alive, right?

Magnetman: If you can call this shame "living".

Snakeman: At least I'm trying to be optimistic.

Magnetman: Stop trying.

Needlegal: We learned something too.

Shadowman: How can we learn anything from this debacle?

Needlegal: We learned that you have to take every enemy seriously. We didn't take the Sinister Six seriously and look at what happened. We ended up being beaten up, covered in garbage, and put on international television.

Magnetman: Nice moral there. You make me feel loads better.

Hardman: At least this can't get much worse.

Shadowman: Uh .... the chief's on the phone. He saw the news ..... and he wants to have a word with us.

....

Topman: Well, until we regain our dignity, we are ..... The Mechanical Maniacs!

(Elsewhere, the Sinister Six convene with a mysterious figure....)

Blademan: You know, it'd be nice to know who we're working for.

???: Wouldn't it though? Sorry, but I can't risk you guys letting something spill.

Sharkman: Doood! Come on! We did good this time.

???: Yes ... And I'm amazed. I was prepared to step in at any moment just in case you know.

Bitman: I don't care who you are. Just as long as you keep your end of the bargain.

???: I have. With these enhancements your weapons will be a match for the 'maniac's new armor.

Oilman: Excellent.

Sharkman: Heh heh .... sweet!

Torchman: For years, those Mechs have been using their armor to overpower us! Such an unfair advantage has hindered our efforts .... but no longer! For now we are on even ground!

???: Yes, I know. We all know that already. Do you have the CPU?

Torchman: Natrually.

(Torchman hands the CPU over to the shadowy figure.)

???: Excellent. Looking forward to doing more business with you boys.

The End ...?

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