By
Gauntlet (Shadowman),
Raijin
K (Snakeman),
and
Nathan
This epilogue was written in the forum under the Darklight Mercenaries' Job Request Board. This epilogue happens shortly before Series 6, and after the S6 PC's Bizarro epilogue.
"Got problems? Need help? Got some money you're willing
to spend? Then call the Darklight Mercenaries!!! We'll do anything
for cash! No matter where you are, one of our associates will
come to assist you! Offer valid anywhere in the world!!!! Interested?
Contact Nathan Bernhard or Sparkman.exe today! PS: We don't ask
too many questions."
Enter the Darklight Mercenaries, the Battle Network 4 team in town.
We've joined the rest of the Mega Man teams in the Undernet, at
long last. Since DLM's not like other MM teams and is a bit more
interactive, we have two forums to our name. One is the private
forum, and the other is this, our job request RP forum. Anyone
can take part of these RPs, so that's why y'all see this forum.
In case you're not familiar how job requests on DLM work, this
is the forum where you hire a Darklight Mercenary or two of your
choice, and the two to four of us create your very own RP-ish storyline.
Once these RPs are done, they get posted on DLM's site as eps.
So really, job requests are more like interactive eps than yer
run-of-the-mill RP, which is why this is set aside from the main
RP forum. Also, DLM jobs have more a serious tone, and call for
a more coherent storyline then an RP since they're eps in the making.
Besides, this fits pretty well with the Undernet theme.
Like I said, anyone's welcome to hire us, and you can hire us as
whoever you choose to be. The jobs you wanna hire us for don't
need to have any good intentions whatsoever (though they can, it's
up to you). And the outcome can turn out either way. But there
are a few pointers:
1. Don't try to join a job request in progress. The only people
who should be posting in a job thread are the client, and his/her
hired guns. Like I said, these aren't like the RPs in RP section.
Since job requests are more like interactive eps, it's really awkward
for some strange guy drop in right in the middle of the story and
start doing his own thing. If you wanna hire one of us, feel free
to start a new topic, and hire away. Otherwise look, but don't
touch any active jobs.
2. Keep it clean. That should go without saying, especially since
these job requests will get posted as Eps on the DLM website.
3. Make sure you can check back often. Don't hire one of us if
you know you're about to go off on a camping trip for a month,
going to be busy with schoolwork for a while or something like
that. No one can blame you if something comes up halfway through,
but it is annoying if you hire us for a job you know you can't
finish. Same goes for us mercs, too.
4: Keep it believable. Please don't drag us into something like: "We
need you stop giant cannibal zombies and vampiric Atomic Nucleo
Neo Androids from Saturn!" Same goes for the identity you're
role-playing as. There's no good reason why Harpuia should be hiring
us to quell the resistance, or Sigma hiring us to show the Maverick
Hunters who's boss. Though, there's nothing wrong with a Harpuia.exe,
or a Sigma.exe.
5: Keep it short and sweet. If the job you hired us for starts
going on for too long, you or the merc you hired might start losing
interest and say screw it. But don't make it so short that nothing
exciting happens. It should be as long as your average ep by the
time the job's completed.
(Written by Nathan)
*Sparkman appears in front of Torchman outside of the Darklight Mercenaries' base.*
Blademan: *glaring
at Wave* See?! I told you they'd take this job!
Sparkman:
No, actually, I wanted to see who the idiots were that posted a
job request without naming a price.
Torchman: Bah! We don't
need this and we don't need them! The S6.exe doesn't ask help from
anyone! Especially from someone named "Sparkman"!
Bitman: Torch, we were
with you the for first few weeks. But now it's got a little old.
Sparkman:
*sigh* But, a search and rescue job oughta keep Nathan from wasting
his time surfing for porn, at least for a few hours. I see you
also haven't requested any specific personnel, so I'll just assume
you want me and no one else. Keeps things simple, the pay doesn't
have to be divvied up, and I don't have to deal with that bat-winged
leach. But I'll go find Oil and his op...right after I'm promised
some cash.
(Written by Gauntlet)
Bitman: There ain't no "op".
And technically we ain't "navis" either. We're just plugging
in for a moment. Don't even ask how hard that's been.
Torchman: You had better
show some respect! It's galling enough to be asking any "Sparkman" for
help .... unless you don't want our money!
Blademan: Yeah, Oilman
ain't worth that much to us.
Sharkman: Dood! Don't
say that!
Sparkman:
Well, I wouldn't say yer money's unwelcome.... so what's
this "Oilman" look like.
Blademan: He's a red
Flashman, basically.
(Written by Nathan)
Sparkman:
Good. He stands out. I'm not interested in chasing down some random
normal Navi...or whatever the hell you all are. Still, this doesn't
tell me how much I'm being paid. But if Oil's not worth much to
you, I think 65,000 zenny sounds fair.
Torchman: Do we look
like we have 65,000...whatever you called it?!
Sparkman:
No, but I was hoping. Well, for a job like this, I guess 15,000
zenny could cut it. Either that, you could let me use that dumb,
blue, mopey thing for slave labor.
Waveman: What?? Why
me?? I don't want to be sold into slavery!
Bitman: Hear the man
out.
Sparkman:
Either way, I guess we can work this out on the fly. Now regale
me with Oil's last know whereabouts.
(Written by Gauntlet)
Bitman: *sigh* we put
all the intel in the post. Crorq sent him off to find Cherry coke.
Sparkman:
Which isn't in production anymore.
Bitman: Right.
Sparkman:
And about the fee...?
Torchman: Your terms
..... sound reasonable.
Sharkman: WHAT!?
Torchman: We must get
Oilman back, Sharkman. He is one of our own. Without him we are
but a fearsome five! And I value all of you above all else ....
Sharkman: R-really....?
(begins to tear up)
Waveman: That was beautiful,
Torch.
Bitman: (thought) Of
course, he knows we don't have that kind of money......
Blademan: Alright,
Oilman will be looking for the Cherry coke. He has no choice. It's
Crorq's damned power! We can't find him, but we did track him to
some dump called Amerope thanks to our "hacking" into
the airport database.
Sharkman: Blade threatened
to hack the security there to pieces! HAW HAW!
Sparkman:
What was that??
Blademan: Nothin'!
It's your job to bring Oilman back. Along with Cherry coke. That's
the deal.
(Written by Nathan)
Sparkman:
The cherry coke part's gonna be..tricky. Especially since it's
not made anymore and doesn't exist in the Cyberworld. But whatever.
In the meantime, let's just get to Amerope.
*five minutes later, in Amerope's net...*
Sparkman:
Now you don't have any other specifics on this guy's whereabouts.
Torchman: If we DID,
we'd have found him ourselves!
Sparkman:
*thinking* Somehow, I doubt that *out loud* Well, keep in mind
yer asking me to tear an entire country's network apart to find
this loser, so every little detail helps. Buuuttt, since we have
nothin' else to go on...
*Sparkman swaggers over to some random Navi, completely overlooking some "S6 R00l!!!" graffiti overhead*
Sparkman:
Yo. Where can a Navi get his hands on some cherry coke?
Navi:
*looks at Sparkman's "hands" and starts chuckling*
Sparkman:
*raises his electrodes* These things can go in very uncomfortable
places.
Navi:
Ah! Ch-Cherry coke? W-
Official
Navi1: There they are! The criminals that broke into the Airport
mainframe!
Official
Navi2: Don't let them get away!
*Suddenly, alarms start blaring as official navis start jacking in from almost every corner*
Sparkman:
Aren't we having some fun now?
Waveman: Sigh. I guess
this is the end of the S6.
Blademan: ...Wave...goddamnit...
Torchman: Sinister
Six...REUNITE!!
(Written by Gauntlet)
Bitman: We're countin'
on ya, Mac!
*The S6 jack out of the system leaving Sparkman to fend for himself.*
Sparkman:
What!? Hey!!! I need help here!
Official
Navi 3: Get the accomplice!
(Written by Nathan)
Sparkman:
God damn you, Sinister Six!
*In a panic, Sparkman fires off a white sparkwave, blinding all nearby officials and cloaks himself.
Official1:
He's gone!
Official3:
Tear this place apart! He can't have gone far, and he can't hide
forever.
*the officials scatter and start searching the net. Meanwhile, in a secluded part of the network...
Navi:
Oh dear, did I forget to get the-
*Before the Navi can finish, he's grabbed and shoved into a corner by an unseen force!
Sparkman:
*reappears* I've got questions, and if you don't have answers,
you'll have pain, and lots of it.
Navi:
Y-You must be looking for the weird Navi that the officials arrested
earlier, right?
Sparkman:
Hey, hey! Smart, kid! Now we're getting somewhere! Any chance this
Navi was pinched just after the Airport got hacked?
Navi:
Y-yes. Th-they took him to the Scilab network! I heard that they
were gonna execute him.
Sparkman:
Yeesh. These guys are taking the whole hacking thing personally!
Well, I heard everything I needed to.
*Sparkman conjures a shadow which slices the Navi in half with a longsword!
Sparkman:
Sorry, bud. But there's no need for the feds to learn about our
heart-to-heart. But I bet those losers would like to know where
their buddy's at.
*Nathan e-mails a note to the job board, hoping the S6 are there to read it as Sparkman disappears and heads toward the Scilab network. After he leaves, the deleted Navi's operator calls someone on his PET.
Official
Op: It's me. He's coming straight for us, just as I thought he
would. But you'd better move the prisoner just to be safe. His
location may not be secure anymore. Just do it.
(Written by Raijin)
Soon after...
Bitman: We got mail.
That fatter version of me wants us to meet 'im at the place where
he thinks Oil's at.
Torchman: Ignore it!
For the amount of zoonies I'm supposed to pay him (but won't) he
should be able to handle the retrieval on his own. We have done
our part!
Blademan: It's too
bad we didn't get to try out any of those amazing upgrades in that
battle that was about to ensue!
Torchman: It was a
small price to pay for the success of my brilliant plan, but I
am afraid you will have to wait for another day to...wait what?
Upgrades? What upgrades?
Blademan: You know!
Navi forms are supposed to mean we're stronger, faster, and cooler
in every possible way! I thought we were finally going to kick
some ass in there!
Bitman: Uh...do Navi
forms really work that way, Shark?
Sharkman: I dunno
lol!
Bitman: ...but you were
a Navi before any of us.* You spent a couple of years trying to
recruit others. What was that like?
(*Series 2 #1, Shark.EXE was actually part of Viral Infaction for a little while)
Sharkman: Ummm...I
dunno! LOL! I don't remember those times so well, k?
Bitman: ... freakin'
druggie.
Waveman: Why were we
looking for Oilman in the cyberworld in the first place?
Torchman: Cherry Coke
no longer exists in the real world, therefore, my infallible logic
dictates it exists in the Cyberworld. It is the only place left
Oilman could possibly be!
Waveman: Oh.
Torchman: Then it is
settled! We will go retrieve Oilman all on our own! And we will
use our incredible Navi form upgrades to finally defeat our longtime
rival Sparkman once and for all!
Bitman: We just met the
guy.
Torchman: Sparkman
has been our mortal enemy for years! The mere fact this is an entirely
different person is irrelevant. Besides, we have no obligation
to pay him since he was entirely useless in finding Oilman for
us!
Waveman: Except that
he did find him, he just sent us an e-mail telling us that.
Torchman: Entirely
useless! For it shall be we, The Sinister Six that recover our
own ally! Onward to victory!
(Written by Nathan)
*Meanwhile, outside the Scilab network...
Nathan:
*lighting a cigarette*...I guess they ain't coming.
Sparkman:
Feh. Asswipes to the bitter end. Let's just go get Oil already.
This job's starting to be more trouble than it's worth.
*Sparkman disappears and starts sneaking through the network past several patrolling officials. Just as he's about to enter the next area...
Official:
Okay, it's been fifteen minutes. Let's hit it again.
Sparkman:
Eh?
*The officials cover their eyes as another official uses a blinder chip, revealing Sparkman's location.
Official:
There he is! Attack!
*Catching Sparkman off-guard, the officials unleash a barrage lances, cactiballs and boomers.
Sparkman:
Damnit! They knew I was coming!
*Sparkman tries to retaliate with a white sparkwave, but sets off an anti-elec.
Nathan:
Oh, we are NOT taking this from chumps like these!
*Nathan downloads two totems that Sparkman uses to roast a few officials while getting some HP back. Once his Sparkflux battery recharges, Sparkman uses his "Forsaken Forest" to burn a few navis who were attacking with woodchips at the same time. However, the woody assault continues, and Sparkman desperately tries to dodge the deadlier attacks while countering with the few non-electric chips he has.
Nathan:
Grrr...I just know they've got another antielec up. But we don't
have the voltage for "All Clear", and we're running out
of non-elec chips!
Sparkman:
Damnit, I don't want to go out like this!
*Amidst the chaos, the Sinister Six enter the network and ready their weapons.*
Torchman: Sinister
Six...ATTACK!!
Sparkman:
Ugh! Thanks for joining the party, ya bums!
(Written by Raijin)
Bitman: Don't thank us
yet, loser. Eat Bit Cannon!
*Sparkman dives for cover as Bitman electrocutes himself and the rest of his team by setting off the Lightning Rod intended for Spark. The five shocked navis collapse to the ground twitching and Sparkman wastes no time in Sparkwaving the Officials before they could reset the trap.*
Sparkman:
Okay, I'll thank you now, then.
Nathan:
Another client trying to turn on us? Give me a break, do they even
have a lost friend they're trying to find?
Sparkman:
Figures. I didn't think any self-respecting Navi would be called
Oilman anyway. What kind of power is oil?
(Written by Nathan)
Torchman: You take
that back! No one speaks ill of the Sinister Six!
*Torchman chars Sparkman with his Torch Arm as he paralyzes and deletes several officials with a magbomb3
Sparkman:
Okay, now I'm lost. Is this Oilman for real or not?! If he is,
why aren't you HELPING US SPRING HIM?!
Blademan: This is about
more than just rescuing our ally! This is about vengeance against
one of our oldest foes!
*Blademan and Sharkman attack with their respective weapons, but Sparkman slips past the blades, and most them end up hitting the immobile officials.
Nathan:
Oldest foe?! We've known each other for barely an hour!
Torchman: Why should
that matter?! Die, Maniac!
*Bitman tries to fire his bit cannon, but sets off another anti-elec trap one of now-mobile officials set up while the navis where distracted
Sharkman: Doood!!
What keepz doing that?! WTF?!
Waveman: I don't feel
so good...
Sparkman:
Okay, you guys are seriously pissing me off...
*Sparkman conjures a shadow of Sharkman which throws a shark boomerang at Torchman.
Torchman: Argh!! HE
DID NOT DO WHAT I THINK HE JUST DID!
Bitman: Since when could
Sparkman do that?!
Blademan: I told you!
Having Navi forms means we're stronger than ever!
Torchman: Then go Sinister
Six! We must press our advantage! Death to the Mechanical Maniac!!
(Written by Raijin)
Sharkman: Oh ya!
I just remembered I can do THIS! *dives into the ground and swims
through it like water.* Dood! I told ya we could do all sortsa
things like this!
Bitman: NOW his memory
kicks in. Shark, I dunno how yer doin' that, but...uh..."swim" down
deeper and pop up underneath the imposter fer a surprise attack.
Sharkman: Dood
yaah! Here I go! Sneak attack!
Bitman: Keep quiet during
the sneak attack!
*Sharkman dives deeper and deeper and eventually falls through the bottom of the platform.*
Sharkman: Doooooood! *logs
out*
Sparkman:
...are these morons for real?
(Written by Nathan)
Torchman: Fine! We'll
just use our own astounding Navi powers! Attack!
...
Waveman: Ummm...what
exactly are our new powers, and how do we use them?
Torchman: Don't ask
me! They're your powers! Watch as I summon a geyser of
magma to incinerate this foul Maniac!
*Torchman laughs maniacally as he lights his Torch Arm and slams it into the ground!
Torchman: Prepare to
experience suffering unlike anything you've ever known!
...
Torchman: Hahaha! You're
doomed!
...
Torchman: Wh-what?
I don't have that power?!
Blademan: Wait, let
me try summoning a whirlwind of blades.
*With a strained face Blademan hunches over and yells, but nothing happens
Bitman: Well, I know
I have new Navi powers. But they don't seem to do anything other
than electrocute us. Awesome.
Waveman: Sigh, I could
try something. But what's the point?
*Before long, the Sinister Six, including Waveman (despite his reservations), but not including for Bitman (who knows better) are all waving their arms, jumping in place, or striking bizarre poses, hoping to unlock latent Navi powers.
Torchman: *flapping
his arms like a chicken* Behold the might of my scorching rain!
Nathan:
This is so stupid. C'mon Sparks, let's go find their partner.
Sparkman:
What for? They're obviously not going to pay us.
Nathan:
No, but we can kill him while he's helpless. That oughta teach
these bozos for turning on us.
(Written by Raijin)
*Meanwhile in Scilab 2, Oilman is held in stasis lock in a large machine bombarding him with scans.*
Oilman: Ugh, what are
you guys doing to me, anyway? I didn't do anything!
Official:
That remains to be proven. In the mean-time, your lack of conformity
to known auto-Navi formats and your claims to be able to enter
the real world are worth studying. If it turns out you had nothing
to do with the recent hacking threat, we might let you go when
the tests are completed.
Oilman: Oh, that's reassuring.
You'll let me keep that thing I found too, right?
Official:
The...uh...jpeg of a can of Cherry Coke? I don't see why you would
want it...but sure, whatever.
Oilman: Oh thank god!
Scientist
Navi: Begin the thermal tolerance test!
Oilman: Brrr...did it
just get colder in here? Oh, now it's getting warmer...a lot warmer...wait,
fire? No, that's not good, that's not good at aaAAAIIIEEEGHHHAAGHH!!
Scientist
Navi: Fascinating, he seems to burn longer than an ordinary Navi.
Oilman: FOR THE LAST
TIME MY NAME IS OILMAN!! WHAT DID YOU EXPECT!? OH THE
PAIN!!
(Written by Nathan)
Scientist
Navi: Oilman? Seriously, what kind of Navi would base himself on
oil?
*the scientist Navi is cut short as he's stabbed in the chest by an invisible assailant.
Official:
Hey, what the-?
*the surprised official can't react in time as Sparkman reappears and paralyzes him with a spark shock.
Sparkman:
*opens Oil's stasis lock* Knock, knock.
Oilman: Oh, thank god!
I thought I was-
*Sparkman angrily grabs Oilman and (somehow) manages to get him in a lock and then he stuffs the immobile official in the stasis cell and locks it shut again.
Oilman: Hey! Let go of
me! What's the big idea?!
Sparkman:
Shut it, ya miserable bastard!
Nathan:
Hey, what the hell?! I wanted this asswipe in at least a couple
thousand pieces!
Sparkman:
Yeah, I feel you. But wouldn't it be more satisfying to ransom
him back to his pals? We put the Sinister Six in their place, and
we get paid for finding Oilman! Everyone wins!
Oilman: What?!
Nathan:
Heh heh, nice thinking! Why didn't I think of that?
Sparkman:
But there's something I don't get; wasn't this moron gonna get
executed over that hacking threat?
Nathan:
Guess Scilab wanted to study him because he's some freak-thing
that can go back and forth between the real world and the cyber
world. But who cares? Fifteen thousand zenny and/or slave labor,
here we come!
Oilman: I don't believe
this! Thanks for nothing!
(Written by Raijin)
Blademan: Hey Wave!
I heard a Navi could flood the whole internet by crying, that must
be your power!
Waveman: Shut up! I
don't cry all the time, just when I'm thinking about my best poems.
Bitman: Ugh, I'd hate
to see yer worst poems.
Torchman: No poems!
We must unlock our great potential! Blademan...is that a sword?
Blademan: *notices
a LongBlade on his arm* Oh, where did that come from? Sweet! *swings
it once and it disappears, his arm reverts to its normal claw-like
state* Wait!...aw...
Bitman: Well now we're
getting somewhere. Make another of those things.
Blademan: I'm trying!
Sparkman:
*While tugging Oilman along in a secure capsule* Why am I not surprised
to see you guys still here? Anyway, here's your Oilman, and this
appears to be a can of Cherry Coke, or a picture of one at least,
but that's pretty much the same thing in here.
*the Six stare in slack-jawed awe*
Sparkman:
Uh...yeah. Anyway, that'll be 15000 Zenny.
Oilman: This is so humiliating.
Torchman: You...you...extortionist!
How dare you demand payment after the grief you caused us!? You
are not a mercenary! You are a mere kidnapper, holding our dear
ally for ransom.
Sparkman:
I'd argue with ya, but I used that exact word just two minutes
ago when describing what I was going to do with him, so I guess
we're on the same page here. So I take it you guys aren't paying?
Torchman: Nev- *Spark
Shocked!*
Waveman: Oh, just leave
us alone you bully! You really are as bad as the real Sparkman!
Sparkman:
You saying I'm not the real Sparkman? *takes one intimidating step
at Waveman*
Waveman: WAHHH!! *throws
his arms up in front of his face to cower and inadvertently sends
out a wide and spreading MudWave towards Sparkman.*
Sparkman:
Oh...wasn't expecting that.
(Written by Nathan)
*The wave washes over Sparkman and Oilman, causing Spark excruciating pain!
Torchman: Ha! Just
a taste of our newly acquired powers! Do it again, Wave!
*Sparkman angrily ensnares Waveman with a gluttonous hydra and whacks Torchman with his own ally!
Waveman: Oh, the pain!
The pain!
Bitman: Now that's kinda
scary.
Torchman: Don't you
try that, Bit. I'm sick of being electrocuted. Blade, get your
sword back, now!
Blademan: *striking
odd poses* I'm trying!
*Blademan inadvertently crosses his arms and a barrage of blades rain from the sky!
Sparkman:
*dodges a few blades* What the hell?!
Waveman: An ode to suffering,
by Waveman...
*As Waveman recites some mopey poetry, a roar of a flood can be heard in the distance!
Sparkman:
I refuse to believe that this is happening.
(Written by Raijin)
Torchman: Yes! YES!
Bring the mighty wrath of the Sinister Six crashing down on those
who would oppose us! Drown the interloper with watery justice!
Bitman: That flood's
gonna drown us too.
Torchman: Sinister
Six! Retreat!
Oilman: *Still in his
capsule* Don't leave me you jerks!
Torchman: Silence,
you deserter! It is entirely your fault we are here in the first
place! It makes me so mad! Mad with righteous fury! I am so mad,
I...I...I...HWAAAAA!
*Torchman's rage causes his body to erupt in flames! The flames quickly spread around him in a circle.*
Bitman: *backing away*
Great, another awesome self-destructive power. These stupid Navi
forms sure are something alright.
Torchman: BWAH
HAH HAH!! Do not be fooled by my frightening outward appearance
dear Bit! These burning flames of justice incinerate everything
they touch except myself! I am invincible!
Sparkman:
So you can use BodyBurn at will, real impressive. I'll be over
there. *continues running up the ramp he found*
Torchman: That's
right, run! You don't want to be too close to the all-encompassing
flames of the living Torch!
Bitman: He's actually
got a good idea.
Blademan: Wait for
me!
*Blade and Bit run quickly up the ramp to the top level, leaving a burning Torchman and a sobbing Waveman on the ground*
Torchman: Does
my incredible fear-inspiring Navi form know no limits? Why is it
getting so dark all of a sudden?
*Just then the massive flood Waveman's depression caused washes over Torch and Wave. The others catch a bit of the tsunami, but being on higher ground, they are able to survive and come out onto relatively dry land up top.*
Sparkman:
Man! Who knew that wimp had such a devastating move?
Nathan:
Good thing it moved so slowly.
Blademan: Do you think
the others are all right!?
Bitman: (flatly) No.
Blademan: What do we
do now!?
Bitman: I'm for going
home.
Blademan: Wait! Look,
someone's surfacing!
*Waveman pops up on the surface of the water, floating in a small inner-tube.*
Waveman: Where did
this thing come from?
Blademan: Wave! Where's
Torch?!
Waveman: Oh, he
logged out as soon as the water hit him. It was really disappointing.
Blademan: What about
Oil?
Waveman: I dunno.
I think I saw the capsule he was in get shattered by the flood.
It was over there I think.
*Wave points to a spot in the water with a steadily growing black mass floating up from the depths. A black figure slowly and ominously rises from the center of the mass and forms, staring coldly at Sparkman.*
Oilman: At last I'm free...I
think it's time for me to let off some serious tension. I strongly
suggest you hand over that can you took from me before I get even
angrier.
Sparkman:
Oh, sorry guy. I musta dropped it down there.
Oilman: ....crap! *re-liquifies
and sinks back under water.*
Blademan: ...aw, I
thought there was going to be an awesome final battle!
Bitman: Eh, give it time.
(Written by Nathan)
Sparkman:
*yanks Oilman out with a hydra* No, there's gonna be an awesome
payday! Yer not getting away!
Bitman: Look pal, we've
still got a score to settle.
Sparkman:
Well, yer right, but really, I'm more interested in getting paid.
Blademan: Oh, forget
it. If this Sparkman's anything like the one we know, he's probably
some pacifist, mango-drinking sissy.
*Sparkman's eyebrows start twitching violently.
Sparkman:
Come...again?!
Blademan: You heard
me.
*Sparkman starts screaming every foul word in his personal dictionary as he attacks the remaining Sinister Six with Spark Mines, Spark Shocks, and Spark Waves, though not many of them are hitting.
Blademan: Geez, when
it rains, it pours, huh? *somehow fires his blade launcher*
(Written by Raijin)
*Oilman easily slips out of Sparkman's grip.*
Oilman: You can't hold
me that easily. In this form my entire body is composed of oil...I
wish I realized that earlier when those other guys were capturing
me.
Sparkman:
Big deal. If I can't touch you, I can still shock you!
Oilman: Not if I get
you first! *uses his Oil Shooter to squirt some oil on Sparkman.*
Sparkman:...what,
that's it? I didn't lose one hit point. What kind of worthless
Navi are you anyway?
Blademan: Tell us about
it!
Oilman: Shut up you guys!
Don't you realize how valuable a robot who can synthesize oil in
his body is? It used to be a non-renewable resource! Thanks to
my technology fuel prices are at an all-time low!
Bitman: You still suck
in battle, man.
Oilman: Bah! Bathe in
oil! All of you! *sprays his Oil Shooter everywhere, hitting Blade
and Bit as well.*
Waveman: Waahh!
*throws up his arms to cower again and accidently creates a Red
Wave that ignites the oil everywhere and sets the other navis aflame*
Oilman: WAAAUUGGHH!!
NOT AGAIN!!! *runs around in panic*
(Written by Nathan)
Nathan:
*smokes* Now, THAT'S funny!
Sparkman:
I'm not laughing! Nobody calls me a pacifist, lights me on fire
and lives to tell about it!
*Sparkman angrily paralyzes Bitman with a spark shock and tries to rip him apart using his gluttonous hyrda tendrils
Sparkman:
There can only be one of me, pal! And it ain't you!
*Blademan slices all three navis using his clawlike hands while spinning in place, severing Sparks' hydras
Blademan: Yee-HAW!
I'm beginning to like to this!
Waveman: Hey, you
did that on purpose!
Blademan: You two lit
me on fire. Piss off.
Sparkman:
Ah, hell I don't need to kill you two myself. All I have to do
is get you losers to do the honors for me.
*Sparkman fires a white sparkwave, blinding the Sinister Six again!
Sparkman:
Of course, it's more gratifying if I do it instead.
Oilman: Well, since we're
already blind as a bat...
*Oilman fires off oil in all directions, blinding Sparkman!
Sparkman:
Ahhh! It's in my eyes!
Oilman: Now things are
a bit more even...I think...
Blademan: Good. I'll
take things from here.
*Blademan summons another shower of blades, ripping the disoriented Sparkman a new one while somehow missing the other S6 members.
Waveman: Hmm...I
wonder what'd happen if I did this...
(Written by Gauntlet)
*A look of concentration appears on Waveman's face as Sharkman and Torchman reappear on the scene*
Sharkman: Yeah! We're
back!
Torchman: And ...oh,
what is this?? Blast, it! I can't use my deadly flames thanks to
Oilman mucking everything up with his oil!
Oilman: Feh! My plan
was brilliance!
Sparkman:
What plan?
*Still blinded, Spark fires bolts of electricity at random*
Sharkman: Dood! Where's
the Sparkman!? I can't make him out thanks to all these pretty
lights!
Nathan:
I think it's time we finished these losers off!
Sparkman:
But I can't see, damn it!
Nathan:
Heh heh heh.... Not a problem! You see, using the powers of Dream
Aura, I can give you...
Waveman: (thought)
Now! While he's pointlessly explaining what his attacks do!
*Waveman leaps up and sprays his team with water droplets, clearing away Oilman's Oil!*
Blademan: What??
Waveman: Yahooo! I still
have my attack here in the digital world!
Torchman: Amazing!
Waveman's Water Shooter actually came in handy!
Waveman: You - You really
think so??
Torchman: I do! In
fact, in this world you truly are impressive!
Waveman: That's ....
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me!!
*Tochman's heart resonates with Waveman's and a magnificent glow shoots out from their Navi symbols!*
Nathan:
.... and then we'll use our own fire body to wipe that Oilman freak
out! And then...!
Sparkman:
Nathan! Stop daydreaming and pay attention! I -
Torchman
(Wave soul): Now you're gonna get it, freak!
*Torchman uppercuts a surprised Sparkman!*
Nathan:
Sparkman! Elec sword! Slot-in!
Sparkman:
It's time to finish this!
Bitman: Nuh-uh, sparky!
*Bitman pierces Sparkman's sword and drains the power out of the surprised Net Navi in seconds!*
Sparkman:
Wha!? Why .... you!
*suddenly Sharkman leaps up from below Sparkman, severely damaging the Net Navi!*
Sharkman: Dood! I
figured out one of my powers! I love this power!
Sparkman:
Just wait until I -
Torchman
(Wave soul): You'll never get the chance! I feel it! I feel my
righteousness burning like a storm inside of me!!!
(A huge wave or flaming water appears out of Torchman's flaming spirit! )
Sparkman:
What the Hell is that!? (The water-flame washes over the entire
area, forcing Sparkman offline!)
Sparkman:
I can't believe this!! I can't freaking believe ~ * !
*The Sinister Six rise from far below, having been swept away by Torchman's attack*
Oilman: *while patting
the jpeg of Cherry coke* ah, the sweet taste of victory.
Bitman: That was an amazing
attack, Torch!
Torchman
(Wave soul): Yes..... unfortunately, it's cancelled out all of
my powers! I can't seem to activate anything!
Waveman: *in wonderment*
I can't believe it was my power that let us win!
Torchman
(Wave soul): Your cruddy Wave soul also robbed me of my fantastic
flame powers! What the Hell can I do now?? Do I have to feel all
mopey and depressed to use your powers? I can't do anything like
that! You've ruined me, you cruddy Airman look-a-like!
Waveman: N-no! There
can't be an Airman here! Here I'm the powerful one! Doesn't
that mean I'm the original one too? It has to! There just can't
be another Airman!
Bitman: Torch, can't
you just .... revert to normal?
Torchman
(Wave soul):: *visibly exerting effort* damn it ..... I can't figure
out how!
Blademan: So, hey ....
this place is guarded by a bunch of wimps. I really think we can
just take this place over!
Sharkman: Hellz, yeah!
We rule here!
Bitman: Hh.... hate to
admit it, but ..... the spud does have a point....
Torchman
(Wave soul): ....
Waveman: This bites.
Even in a new world I don't get respect. It's always Airman this
and Airman that ..... I'll bet the Airman from this place would
hate me too .....
Oilman: *totally ignoring
Wave* They make a really good point, Torch. If the rest of the
EXE Mechs are like that Sparkman we can rule easily. Megaman too
would hardly be a challenge for us.
Torchman
(Wave soul): .... I think .... not.
Oilman: NOT!?
Torchman
(Wave soul): This is not our world. A victory here does not revenge
us against our persecutors. In your righteous zeal, you've forgotten
our true quest. It is not to destroy our enemies, but to show everyone
that the true Megaman 3 is the one on the PC. Here, does such a
game even exist? An easy victory here would ring hollow my comrades.
Bitman: ....
Torchman
(Wave soul): No, we must return to our home. Our cause must be
seen until the very end! And in the process, those true Mechs,
not some pale proxies, but the ones that have smugly bullied us
and all like us, shall be shown who is the better and who is the
worse! For we are the Sinister Six!
.....
Bitman: So .... how do
we get back home?
Oilman: I think I left
my body beside some vending machine at someplace called "Scilab".
Bitman: What the Hell
kind of name is that?!
Blademan: I think it's
some kind of lab.... based around science, maybe...
Torchman
(Wave soul): Well, we'll just return to our bodies, break into
this "Scilab" place, and pick you up! I mean .... how
hard can it be?
Oilman: I dunno. There
was some kids running in and out of that place though, so it can't
be too important....
*The Sinister Six walk off*
*shortly later, a rejuvanated Sparkman teleports back in*
Sparkman:
All right! Your soul unison caught me off guard that last time,
but with my Dream Aura nothing you losers can do can ....
Nathan:
They're gone, aren't they?
Sparkman:
And .... this graffiti ....
...
Sparkman,
Nathan: WE DO NOT SUCK!!!
Sparkman:
Who are these "Mechanical Maniacs" people anyway!? Why
the HELL do they keep comparing me to them!?
Nathan:
GOD DAMN THE SINISTER SIX!!!!
The End
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