The Business of War

Orchestrated By C.M. Rich (Magnetman)

Stage 5

By Gauntlet, C.M. Rich

A Special Announcement

Televisions across the globe flickered as an announcement was made on all channels. The music played a catchy tune as viewers were alerted to the breaking news. The screen shifted to an image of Crorq behind a podium and before a large screen..

“Greetings, human populace and members of the press. It is I … CRORQ! The magnificent chief of police! And I must now give you a special report. No doubt you have heard the rumours flying about. Some underground news stations have reported the death of Mikhail Sergeyevich Cossack, known opponent of the shutdown code, at the hands of the infidel General Cutman three days ago.

It is my duty to inform you all that these rumours are true!”

The press murmurs in surprise as Crorq continues, “But do not mourn for the Brzezinski Science Award winner. For reports of his terrorist activates have, until now, been kept quiet until the Robot Police Force could be sure of their authenticity. Detailed reports were gathered before we were sure of the fact. And, in the light of the recent crisis, we were unsure if such grave news should be brought to light. But you, the people, have a right to know the truth!

Cossack’s crimes begin at the fall of Nonsteropolis,” the screen behind Crorq is activated showing a blurry black-and-white image, “While the footage is of low quality thanks to the destruction of RPD Headquarters you can see that the Cossacker known as Tomahawkman has just murdered a human RPD officer. And now a Wily-affiliated robot named Ringman has hastened to join him.” The footage repeats as Crorq continues to talk. “It is only hours later before the headquarters is destroyed. And after that crucial loss the Scissor army claimed the city and wiped out all life. A city so close to the main RPD headquarters. But Cossack’s crimes do not end there.”

The screen shifts to a crime scene. Robot police officers are recovering a body with its hands missing. “This is the scene from Pyongyang, North Korea. The officer shown is John Stewart, a Watcher. His death was recorded by a tiny device on his person.” Crorq falls silent and steps aside as the footage changed to show the officer skewered by Omniman. It then shifts to an upward angle. Skullman leans close to the screen. There are audible gasps from the crows as Skullman gets up and has a severed hand in his grip. Color drains from the faces of the media as Skullman skins the hand and gives it to an unseen ally. The footage repeats as Crorq resumes his speech. “Wily killed a human officer. This much is almost expected from that madman, but what is truly shocking is the Cossacker’s complete disregard for the sanctity of human life despite fighting for so-called ‘greater ideals’. Our records indicate a shutdown of mass proportions occurs in the city, eliminating most officers present. Frankly, it’s a miracle we were able to rally together and claim it as a victory for humanity. To compound matters, sometime later that day, the same Skullman tried to sell a mangled corpse to a hospital 'for science'. ”

Cameras flashed and hands were raised, but Crorq silenced them with a sweep of his own spindly arm. “I have one last clip to show you. This footage comes from St. Petersburg, Russia. Take a good look at what Cossack does to his own countrymen.” The footage changed to another grainy black-and-white image. It was clearly computer enhanced to bring out details and also clearly enlarged, but they could see a family ruthlessly gunned down by Joes. The woman looked out, seeing something in the water … only to be blown apart a second later. The image rewound and magnified on the far corner of the screen. Further enhancements revealed the perpetrator of the explosion and the crowd gasped.

“Diveman,” said Crorq with satisfaction, “one of Cossack’s own creations. Ruthlessly gunning down a family pleading for their lives.”

Crorq stomped out from behind the podium and took on a deadly, sombre tone. There was no food crunching now, no boisterous attitude. Now Crorq was all business. “During the course of this war there has been some sympathy for the Cossacks and the Wilys. The underdogs. The merry men who steal from the rich and give to the poor. But make no mistake … we are dealing with terrorists who have no regard for human life! They oppose the Shutdown Code for robbing them of their freedom. Clearly, the freedom they demand is the freedom to murder innocent humans to further their own goals. How then, can anyone advocate their cause? Cossack is dead, yes. But his terrorist cell of dangerous robots is still alive. And if this,” the scene showed Skullman skinning a man’s severed hand, “or this,” the scene changed to show the helpless woman pleading for help before being killed in an explosion, “is what we can expect of them in their prime, imagine what they are capable of now that their back is to the wall and they are desperate.”

The screen was turned off and a hush fell over the crowd.

“If anyone out there has any information on the whereabouts of Cossack’s terrorist cell I urge you to come forth with information. The Robot Police will not rest until all enemies of humanity are apprehended and brought before the full measure of the law.”

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A Memorial, One Month Later...

Snow blanketed the Siberian wilderness as it has for thousands of year before, as if uninterested in what was going on the world over. Quietly, it continued to bury a former fixture in its landscape- a ruined fortress.

Cutman strode through the ruins, snow and broken brick crunched under his feet as he slowly walked it, partially lost in thought.. It had been a month since its fall and Cossack’s demise; a month since he had rid himself of those pesky romantic heroes who thought they could rid the world of him, the Shutdown Code, and Wily all on their own. Such arrogance.

“And yet they’re still around…More of a nuisance than ever. Who’d have known that those Cossacks would learn to use guerrilla tactics, eh?” Mesmerman appeared from out of nowhere and floated down behind Cutman. Excitedly, Shoryu also appeared from her hiding place beneath Cutman’s lapel to greet the puzzle machine.

“Mesmer Papa!”, said the little robot joyfully. Mesmerman smiled. But he always did that and could not help it.

“I’d appreciate some inner privacy, Mesmer.”, Cutman said haughtily, recognizing the feel of his cohort’s presence in his thoughts.

“So sorry about that. Force of habit!”

Cutman continued walking along. He sincerely doubted that Mesmer was sorry, or that it was a force of habit. He might be his co-general in this war, but the thought of the psychological juggernaut probing his mind still kept him wary. Cutman always had to be very aware of what he was thinking around such a dangerous and unpredictable monster…as if playing with fire.

“Penny for your thoughts?” asked the grinning robot.

“I don’t like the statue.”

Mesmerman looked at what Cutman was referring to. In the middle of the vast ruin there was a shining marble statue of General Cutman standing with one foot on top of Dr. Cossack’s dead body. He held shears high into the air. On the bottom there was a plaque with their predictable memorandum:

“General Cutman, leader of Elysium, celebrates victory over another foe, Dr Cossack. January 23rd, 20XX”

“Why not?”, Mesmer inquired, giggling under his breath.

“Its in bad form. Its also historically inaccurate considering I held Cossack’s head, rather than my weapon. And even then, I stood atop the Citadel- not on Cossack’s body.”

Mesmerman’s pieces flew past the General and reassembled in a sitting position on the statue's head. “It’s artistic license! I mean, really … who wants to look at a statue where you’re holding a severed head? This represents your larger than life stature over humanity!”

Cutman’s eyes rolled towards Mesmerman. “I take it this was your idea?”

“I think it was Mystery and Spade’s design. I know Stoneman built most of it! He was so proud…Be sure to commend him next time you see him!”

The General remained silent after this for a few moments, and looked at the creation more carefully.

It had his lab coat frozen in an idealized wave. His skull had softened features making him look a bit more heroic than he actually did. Cossack’s face was made to look a bit uglier than he really was. He supposed the idea of erecting a statue was a good one with a bit more consideration; after all, history has shown that great leaders had monuments built to their accomplishments.

But he was a realist.

Cutman sighed. “I suppose it would function as a proper commemoration....”

Shoryu piped up, “And it shows you your followers’ affection!”

Cutman seemed to sulk quietly. He programmed loyalty into them…He didn’t want affection. Affection was useless in this line of work.

Mesmerman floated down. “That it does, child, that it does!”

The General knew Mesmer was purposefully toying with him. There was no way he could be so sickeningly sweet!

“…Mesmer.”, he addressed, some of his teeth clanking together in the cold. “Your absence on this battlefield did not go unnoticed…”

Mesmer took a step back and spoke in a hurt voice, “But I was here all along, dear Cutman! I aided Geminiman when he needed it. Aside from that, I really didn’t think you needed my help. After all, too many cooks in the kitchen spoils the soup!”

Cutman quietly stared at the puzzle-being, rolling Mesmer’s answer around in his mind. Mesmerman … he disliked random elements. And that’s what Mesmerman was. A big, white, floating random element that could read his mind and seemed to be holding back information…

“But I do have information!” said Mesmerman helpfully, “I’m here to report on Magnetman’s attack on Skull Castle!”

Cutman’s fingers twitched. Once more Mesmerman had read his mind, though this time he would choose to ignore it.

“And?”

“Sadly, neither Wily nor anyone of importance was there. I think they decided to move when they heard that Heatman was now a walking nuclear bomb. For a madman, Wily isn’t a slow thinker, is he?”

Cutman seemed to scowl.

“We did level the base, though!”, Mesmer assured.

“Did you at least check the computers before doing that?”

Mesmerman took a simulated intake of breath at Cutman’s inquiry. “Oh, my! In all the excitement we didn’t think of doing that!”

Cutman whirled towards his partner in crime. “You. Didn’t. Think. Of. That?” The incompetence!

Mesmer explained, “I’m afraid Wily left his forces on alert and they attacked Magnetman and … well, Mr. Magnetman isn’t exactly a ‘thinker’ anymore.”

Cutman let out a strained breath. This was not like Mesmerman! This was just … annoying! He sent Magnet out because he wanted the job done! He sent Mesmerman there to keep him in line! He didn’t want to hear pathetic, lackadaisical excuses like this! What the hell was Mesmerman thinking!?

Shoryu walked up between them. This Cutman was scary when he got mad. “Hey, hey! Calm down you guys! It was a mistake! We’ll get those mean bad guys next time! We’re all friends here, right?”

Mesmerman was quick to agree. “Right, my dear! I’m so sorry I messed up, dear General! It won’t happen again.”

Cutman’s eyes narrowed into a cold, distant stare, mostly hidden in the darkness.

Still, Shoryu’s interjection allowed him a brief moment to reflect. Mesmerman somehow grew stronger by absorbing the negative emotions of others. He was just messing with him on purpose. With this realization, Cutman calmed himself and moved on.

“You haven’t been around lately.”, the General accused.

Mesmerman “shrugged” his shoulders, “Things to do! No rest for the wicked, I’m afraid. Don’t worry, I’ll be around … when you least expect it.” Mesmerman laughed. Cutman remained locked in a deep glare, his thoughts hidden to the outside world.

Shoryu climbed up Cutman’s body and rested on his head. “He’s a funny man.”

“Yes, a very funny man.” The General looked upwards, to look his statue in the eye. “Does it bother you? Being so small? You know, I could remake you …”

“No thanks. All your robots look like they came out of a bad horror movie. They’re gross.”

Cutman and Mesmer stopped dead for a moment. And then both burst into laughter. Nobody had ever described Cutman’s creations like that. Nobody would dare! Not to his face anyway. “Evolution isn’t always pretty,” said the General.

The spider climbed down and looked Cutman in the eye. “No, but it should be.”

“You’re right…It can be…”

“So, what’s next?” asked Mesmerman with enthusiasm. “We have those Robot Police rascals in a tight spot. Monsteropolis is almost surrounded by cities under our control! They’ve become particularly troublesome too. They actually found the secret Joe construction facility under Bath, you know.”

“No,” said Cutman menacingly, “no, the Robot Police will have to wait. It’s time to take another minor player off the board. Very soon we’ll see another one of these statues erected. And next time … those idiots need to get the details right!”

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