How about that one really violent story?

By Raijin (Snakeman) but mostly Gauntlet (Shadowman)

Shadowman: You know what? We've always been a bunch of crooks at heart. We could work for Wily next series! Wouldn't that be a neat twist?

Heatman: Sorry, Shad, we beat ya to it.

Shadowman: DAMN!

Dr. Light: Since we formed such a good relationship during that "Hardman's Bar" incident, why not work for the Robot Police Force? And I'll also make you a whole new set of armor.

Needlegal: We finally have an excuse to fight crime besides just being the basis of a typical action story. Evildoers beware!

Shadowman: Why not? Sounds like a plan!

Snakeman: But, wait! New armor will make the header image wrong for this series!

...

Shadowman: But our new Magnetman made action figures and everything, so it's fine.

(And so the entire team gets their new armor.)

Spark Chan: I love it! Come on guys, at least we still have each other. Things don't have to be all gloom and doom. Now who's the new Magnet?

Rich: Helloooo...

(And so our story begins! Hardman and Bombman are relaxing at Hardy's Bar and both look totally different.)

Hardman: 'sup?

Bombman: sup?

Anguish: BLARGH! (Attacks and leaves.)

Hardman: FOLLOW HIM!

(They bump into the new Magnetman who attacks.)

Bombman: Who are you?

Magnetman: I'm the new Magnetman. I'm also Bombman's half brother, Kenta Kassidy Eigen. Our dad was involved with the mob and was the go-between with them and them Yakuza. He was killed when things went south with them. After that mom died of cancer and I went to you, my only relative, for help. And you turned me away.

Bombman: Oh yeah, I was only 18 and living on the streets then. I remember you now.

Magnetman: REVENGE!

Anguish: Meanwhile I'll fight with Hardman.

Calamity: And I'll join in! die!

Hardman: WTF!? Wait a sec, I recognize the MO here. It's Mary Sue!

Mesmerman: Yes, I'm back! And these are my Reavers.

Hardman: Wait, no. This is too much like you. My author's intuit'n tells me there's something else behind this. Mesmerman ain't a guy with a goal. And he certainly ain't repetishus. This must be ona Wily's schemes!

Mesmerman: Erm ... (Is destroyed easily.)

Magnetman: Asshole.

Hardman: Well thanks f'r th' help against those Mesmerman spawn things but did ya have t' use me as a blunt instrument with yer magnet powers?

Magnetman: Urusai baka gaijin.

Shadowman: (Shows up outta nowhere and slams Wily a bit) He came highly recommended, really.

Wily: Jou meddelzing vittle. Ach! I can not even shink of un proper inshult, I'm zo angry!

Bass: And I was really Anguish.

Shadowman: I figured Wily had something to do with shenanigans involving Magnetman. The insight comes from my mysteriousness.

Mesmerman: (Unseen) It turns out it was me ALL ALONG manipulating everyone behind their backs! Mwa hah hah!

(Carmen Sandiego steals the Ark.)

Geminiman: Damnit, our base! Well we can't let her get away with that!

(She gets away with it.)

Shadowman: Crap. We need a new place to stay.

Xelloss: You can stay in my condo. It's a nice place.

Shadowman: This ought to be disastrous.

(It's disastrous.)

Shadowman: Now that that's out of the way, let's move into that replica Technodrome Bizarro Shadow made before he shut down. There probably aren't any boobytraps or anything.

(The oddly lucky Sinister Six begin to steal electronic equipment. They also spray paint the side of the Technodrome.)

Geminiman: AGAIN! Geez!

Sharkman: Dood! We also broke into robot jail and stole someone's CPU! DIG IT!

Bitman: And we've finally developed our own personalities too.

Magnetman: And they ... beat me up! They will PAY!

???: Thanks for this CPU and the equipment. And, as a reward, here's armor that will make you the equal of the Mechs.

Torchman: Thank you, mysterious benefactor!

...

Blademan: So, uh ... how do we install these upgrades? Mysterious benefactor? Hello?

Shadowman: What a humiliating defeat.

Magnetman: It's because you didn't take your enemies seriously enough!

Shadowman: Anyway, the worst is over.

(Los Angeles gets vaporized by a microwave bomb and the Maniacs are blamed.)

Snakeman: What? How!?

Topman: Everyone's shooting at us!

Shadowman: We must prove our innocence. Quickly, to the scene of the crime!

Geminiman: Mindless puppet!

(The Maniacs fight through the ruins of Los Angeles, clashing with the Sinister Six to begin with ...)

Waveman: Look who came here as we were scavenging. Heya, Mechs.

Torchman: Sinister Six! Unite and crush!

Magnetman: Damn, I can't kick ass like I could in Kin and Tonic! WTF?

Hardman: Dat dere's a plot point.

Waveman: Aw, we were beaten again. (The S6 leaves.)

Shadowman: Let 'em go. We're not here to kill anyone.

Rich: YET! Mwa hah hah hah hah.

Shadowman: And it seems an electromagnetic field is blocking us from teleporting out. We need to head to the epicenter of the explosion. Let's split up. There'll be more duels that way.

Snakeman: Look, a helicopter! Looks like our dance partners are on their way. And ... it has the Judge!

Topman: The Judge? Isn't he supposed to be in prison?

Shadowman: Let's try to avoid them.

Geminiman: You're stupid.

Shadowman: No, you're stupid. Meet back here at noon.

(The teams are: Gemini and Top: south, Needle and Snake: west, Hard and Shadow: east, Spark and Magnet: north. They encounter mercenaries (a group called the Pale Riders) formed specifically to fight them.)

Geminiman: Shadowman's stupid.

Topman: Man, you've had a bad attitude all series long ... And in Hardman's Bar too.

Geminiman: Well, we're not in a Lennon story, now are we? Nowe'renot! And lookitthis. I grabbed one of their PDAs.

Topman: Shadowman said not to fight.

Geminiman: Stupidman is stupid.

Boomerang: No you're stupid!

(There's a battle with Boomerang.)

Geminiman: Let’s see you blindly dodge a Gemini Collision AND a Top Spin! Hah!”

Boomerang: Ah, I love this feeling! The feeling I get from fighting! beat me and I'll tell you what i know.

(Boomerang, Top, and Gemini all have an epic battle. Which ended when Topman used a small exploding top to destroy one of Boomerang's hands!)

Boomerang: AAA! AAA! What the Hell!? Since when do you people DO things like this!?

Geminiman: Quit whining and spill yer guts.

Boomerang: The government doesn't care about you. This is all about some little girl. Geez, would you look at my hand? Ohhh.... VENGENCE! ONE DAY VENGENCE! (Disappears.)

Topman: Well…That was nice…

Xelloss: Y'ello! It's time for a cameo by everyone's favorite mysterious priest!

Topman: BAH! You.

Xelloss: But I come bearing exposition! Don't you wanna know what I know? My mysteriousness allowed me to know everything about the enemy's plans!

Geminiman: Does it cost another favor?

Xelloss: Yep! Treasure hunting!

Topman: Can't you do it?

Xelloss: Don't point out the plot holes! Now find me that treasure.

Geminiman: This piece of paper?

Xelloss: Yep. (burns it in a Slayers reference).

Geminiman: Now how's about that info?

Xelloss: Ah yes! That ... that…is a secret! (Xelloss disappears.)

Geminiman: Don't tell Shadow. (looms menacingly).

Topman: Screw you. Let's meet up with the others.

(Snakeman overhears a conversation with needlegal ...)

Soldier: Gotta find that little girl! Lotta overkill just for that, though.

Snakeman: Hm. That might be important later. Hey, Needle?

Needlegal: Yeah?

Snakeman: Take a hike. The Judge is mine.

Needlegal: Jerk. (she leaves)

(Magnet and Spark run into a mercenary...)

Spark Chan: I know you're a good person, Kenta, and we're good friends. I know that deep down you're gentle. And a sensitive, fragile soul like myself can really resonate with your own sensitive nature.

Magnetman: Thanks.

Viscous: Time for fighting! Government sent me and the other Pale Riders to stop you terrorists!

Magnetman: Damned government! I hate the government!

Viscous: I have a special salt-based fluid in tune with my mind. I carry it with me, and it does whatever I want it to. In this case, I think I want it to crush your friend, like an egg in my fist. Spark Chan. You're not really a pacifist. You suck!

Spark Chan: Please stop! *sob*

Magnetman: Why aren't I as powerful as I was in Kin and Tonic? Why!?

???: (unseen or identified in the story) Let the hate flow!

Magnetman: Great idea! WAAAAARRRRRGHHHH!!!! KIEUSERU!!!!!!

(Magnetman is super powerful again! He breaks out of Viscous' goop and crushes him with an overhead pipe.)

Spark Chan: eep!

(Shadowman runs into Wily's forces...)

Bass: You're gonna get yer asses kicked!

Quickman: Sorry, boss' orders.

Shadowman: The Megaman 2 team? But this is a Maniacs story! What about the Evil Eight or the Wily Rescue Force?

Quickman: Sorry.

Shadowman: Ninja vanish! (Shadowman throws a smoke bomb down and he and Hard disappear.)

Bass: DAMMIT!

Shadowman: Welp, time to head back.

(They meet up with Spark, Magnet, and Needle)

Needlegal: Wow, Sparks, you look like you've just seen something horrific!

Spark Chan: No, no, I'm good. (Is obviously shaken.)

Needlegal: Say who's that?

(Mysterious person shoots at them with a rifle.)

Hardman: Ow.

???: Surrender! They are too mysterious and powerful! Even for you.

Shadowman: They!? Can it really be the Horsemen!? The United States has its share of enemies. Not all of them are public, as you can imagine. The Feds’ biggest enemies are some of its own, known as the Four Horsemen. I don’t know too much about them, but from what I’ve heard, they’re pretty well funded and apparently hold some offices in the Pentagon. Maybe even the White House. No we're not gonna surrender.

(Mysterious person tries to shoot at them again, but Spark Chan's electric field stopped stopped the bullet.)

???: Hard way it is then. (Leaves.)

(Before the Mechs could launch a counterattack on the dark-clothed man, a few faces emerged from various points, all of whom the Mechs had seen leave the copter alongside the visor-wearing man. It was clear as to their one and only mission here: violence. )

Shadowman: Split up to take these guys in more one-on-one duels!

(Beams of light emerge.)

Shadowman: Dammit, I can't touch these beams of light!

Dusk: You can't leave unless I want you too. I have complete control over light and can move freely between these beams, just as you travel in darkness. A few people in the government don't trust you Robot Master types running about. It's too bad it took something like this before they took action. After we're done with you the other teams will fall.

(Holograms, as structures of light, prove useless against Dusk. Shadowman's Shadow Dive is also useless since Dusk bathed the area in light. He and Shadow have a ninja-styled battle.

Dusk: Mwa hah hah! I'm a better ninja than you are! Proving that humans are better than robots.

(Shadowman uses the Shadowblade on his head to reflect lazer fire right at a light-producing machine.)

Dusk: NO! You figured out that light was the only thing that could penetrate my shield! No matter! Even without powers I'm still a better fighter!

(Shadowman slices the man's arm off.)

Shadowman: Obviously I was faking. Don't be an idiot.

Dusk: It'S JUST A FLEST WOUND! (Dusk uses the light from flash bombs to escape).

Shadowman: And that's that.

(Needlegal winds up in a basketball court.)

Rabid Flare: BLARGH!

(Needlegal shoots the creature, but it bleeds plasma.)

Needlegal: Man, this is a disturbing fight. He really looks in pain. Still, it's attacking ... maybe removing it's metal mask will help.

(She does, revealing a grotesquely mutilated and mutated human face.)

Needlegal: Geez! Whatever happened to our fun adventures? And now it seems to want to die on it's feet. It's taken too much damage ... it can't possibly live. Farewell, poor monster.

(Needle mercy-kills the beast. Meanwhile, Magnet has his own duel.)

Magnetman: Geez, you look young. And you actually have a sprite!? You must be important later on.

Amatista: Everyone has a sprite!

Magnetman: Well, sure, now.

Amatista:Shut up, robot scum! You…Your kind…You’ve taken so much more than a mere city. You’ve taken away countless amounts of hope in the wake of your pillaging of society. You’re the Devil’s tools!

Magnetman: So we're back on script, are we?

(They fight in which Amatista uses diamond-tipped ceramic blades which can cut through almost anything.)

Magnetman: (thought) Damn, I can't kill one so young. What if I just crush her hands instead?

(He tries and his fingers are severed.)

Magnetman: YOW!

Amatista: Hah hah.

(Magnet responds by grabbing his severed finger and plunging into her hand.)

Amatista: YOW!

Magnetman: Hah hah. By the way I cut the atom-thin wire you were using. Fight over.

Amatista: Grrrrrrr.

Magnetman: By the way I used to be human. And I'll prove I didn't blow this place up by sparing your life.

Amatista: BAH! I don't care what you say, I'm stubborn!

(Hardman wakes up. Spark Chan is unisonous near him.)

Hardman: Okay, I'm awake. 'N ready fer ma duel.

Akoustolith: You duel with me, sir. I'm responsible for the creation of the Pale Riders.

Hardman: Ya look redic'u'lus.

(Akoustolith's sound-based powers cause reverberations within the empty cavities in Hardman's frame, so her sound powers are a weakness he didn't even know he had until now.

Akoustolith: One of you killed my son Vicious. I want REVENGE!

(Hardman clashes his knuckles together and Akoustolith fires a sonic wave which created a massive blast which swept Akoustolith off her feet.)

Hardman: Neener neener neener! I win!

Akoustolith: Oh my God, I'm deaf thanks to you! You bastard!

(Akoustolith savagely attacks Hardman, breaking her own hands in the process. Just as she's about to kill Hardman she's blasted off his body by Spark Chan.)

Spark Chan: Leave.

Akoustolith: AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!

(She flies at Spark with an insane rage. Defectively Spark Chan fires back, bringing off Akoustolith's skin and hair.)

Hardman: We should start a drinkin' game. Take a chug every time somethin' overly violent happ'ns!

(Hardman crushes Akoustolith.)

Hardman: Crazy bitch. (Chugs a beer.)

Spark Chan: What the FUCK!? I thought I joined a team with happy-go-lucky adventures!

Rich: Mwa hah hah hah hah!

Geminiman: Looks like we're back with the main group.

Shadowman: (over the phone) Snake! Everyone's here at the epicenter now. Are you done your epic duel yet?

Snakeman: (over the phone) Not yet.

Shadowman: (over the phone) Well, hurry it up! Geez.

(Snakeman faces off against the Judge. Snake used his new Search Snakes to keep himself well hidden. Snake wanted to get all of his snakes into position to take out the Judge. The Judge, however, used an EMP bomb that took out the snakes, but was not strong enough to take out Snakeman himself.)

Judge: Care to reminisce about the past? About how you left my fate to a jury? I have my own now.

(The Judge's jury was a bunch of small spherical machines with guns on them. And they could fly.)

Snakeman: Crap. Well, at least by carefully exploring using my new TM2 body's collapsible frame I've found where the judge is.

(Snakeman takes the duffel bag, which housed the burnt out EMP (the Judge removed the deactivated snake). He then finds another snake (one with short range teleportation abilities for Snake himself) and uses it to set an escape position. It takes several hours, but he manages to kill a juror with his bare hands by sneaking up on it. Using it's battery he's able to reactivate the EMP and knock the rest of the Jurors out just as he teleported out of range.).

Snakeman: As I nap, I'll have a flashback to pass the time.

(Snakeman remembers his early days on the force. There was a man was who executing people acquitted for heinous crimes using sniper techniques and he was brought in on the case. The cops hated him because of his former dubious nature as well as their pride as police being wounded since the mayer felt he had to bring in outside help. The Chief of the human police department set him up with their SWAT crew. There he met Alan Munich who was the first to show him any kind of respect. He taught Snakeman everything he knew about sniping along as they talked about the Judge case. However, it turned out Munich was the Judge and it was Snake who had caught him. Munich had grown tired of seeing killers walk free and blamed the system. Now he would dispense justice. However, he did kill one innocent bystander and it ruined any good he might have done.)

Snakeman: And you might have gotten away with it too had you not given me so many clues. Now, who are you working with?

Judge: Bah! I won't tell you. Who will protect the system without me?

Snakeman: I will! Except I will work within the system. As a sniper!

Judge: How naive… You’re no pro, kid…Just an amateur.

(Snakeman's flashback ends and he's back to work.)

Judge: Time to face your teacher.

Snakeman: Teacher? You're not my teacher! You're just a retconned in character to add depth to this duel.

Judge: The nerve on you! Let's change this up a bit. (Comes on out of his hiding place, holding his rifle by the barrel.)

(Snakeman saw his former not-teacher was sick with HIV or Aids and saw the damage prison had done to him. Snakeman knew he had come there to die.)

Judge: Let's have us a knife fight.

Snakeman: Sick human VS a Robot Master. Okay.

(Snakeman easily wins.)

(The crater itself was perhaps ten miles in diameter, the bottom of it barely visible thanks to the shadow produced on one side casting itself downward. Dust and flying debris swirled about at the bottom, further obscuring the view of the bowl-shaped crevice. The ground around the very edge of the crater was especially soft, as the team found out first hand, as Hardman was sinking rapidly, which he put a stop to be moving about, mostly backwards.)

Geminiman: And it looks like we have company.

Turboman: Sorry guys, but we have orders to bring you all in. We don't really want to ...

Needlegal: Then don't.

Turboman: But then we'd be outlaws too. Tough break I know.

Needlegal: Jerks!

Bass: Ah HAH! Look who we just found! The Mechs!

Quickman: Sorry, we don't really want to fight you.

Needlegal: Then don't.

Quickman: But we have to.

Needlegal: Jerks!

Turboman: Quickman! I challenge you guys to a fight!

Quickman: Right! Bring it on!

Needlegal: Aw, they're buying us time to escape. I guess they aren't jerks after all.

(The Maniacs manage to get away during the chaos.)

Shadowman: Now we gotta find some kinda ... evidence ... hey, look, it's the Sinister Six. Let's go pick a fight.

Torchman: And so, we meet again, outlaws!

Shadowman: Let go of that little girl, Torch.

Waveman: You don’t need to know anything about Alicia!

Blademan: Moron.

Shadowman: Okay, guys, you know the drill by now. Let's split up to have our own individual duels.

(Bitman faces Hardman...)

Hardman: This's gonna be easy!

(Bitman is unexpectedly strong.)

Bitman: Naw, not this time, block head.

(The other Mechs have similarly surprising battles.)

Blademan: (growing a set of large blades all over his armor and licking his knives) I'm gonna hack ya ta bits!

Needlegal: Damn…His blades are longer than mine. He’s got the advantage in close combat… I’ll have to stick to cannon fire. I hope they didn’t bother to fix his eyes with those upgrades…

Waveman: I'll make you understand my pain! (Waveman unleashes a gigantic wave which crashes down on Geminiman and deposits him 50 feet from his original position.)

Geminiman: *koff* *gasp* *choke*

Waveman: You ... weakling! That’s right! I’M going to win this one!

Sharkman: You shoulda killed me when you had the chance! (Shark dove into the pavement and chases him, "swimming" through the earth as if it was water.)

Magnetman: Whoa! So much more challenging!

Topman: Same lame old Oil Stream.

Oilman: How about this, then? (Oilman immediately stopped his ineffective Oil Stream and pointed his arm skywards. Producing a rather humorous looking effect akin to a lawn sprinkler, the oil sprayed out of his cannon in a pattern-like way as it sputtered skywards before raining down.)

Topman: Aw, not again! Hey, wait ... what's this feeling? Damn it, this junk is greasing up all my joints!

(Torchman erupted from his own inferno, catching Shadowman by surprise.)

Torchman: Ah ah ah…Not so fast, Shadowman! One move and I’ll cook Alicia's pretty little face off. You wouldn’t want to force me to do something like that, would you? Call off your dogs! This fight is ours!

Spark Chan: Torch, come on! We just want to know who she is! The government is after her too!

Torchman: Then I'll tell you! Alicia knows exactly what happened here! Alicia is the daughter of a top weapons developer in the US government. He asked us, the Sinister Six, to protect he and his daughter, and we will do so until our last breath!

Shadowman: Where's her dad? Did he get captured by the government or something?

Torchman: N-n-n-no!

Shadowman: Well, that's a yes.

Torchman: No, he's in hiding! But he granted us access to our powerful Transmetal armor! And he reworked it on the spot so we would be more powerful than ever before! And certainly more powerful than you people!

Spark Chan: Thanks for loving to talk, Torch.

(After a harder-than-expected fight (with Magnetman going evil again), the Mechs win.)

Torchman: Yes, but we got very close this time!

Geminiman: (Slowly going insane) Wait, I don't even remember beating Waveman. And yet here he is, brutally chopped up! (Geminiman almost murders the deactivated robot, but stops himself short). What's going on with me??

Needlegal: And Blademan's a rapist now?

Blademan: Sorry.

Spark Chan: So what's yer last name, sweetie?

Alicia: Enstehung.

Spark Chan: What's in yer backpack?

Alicia: Somethin'.

Spark Chan: (Don't wanna lost the girl's trust so i had better not check.)

(They interview Alicia. They find out her father sent her there to meet "friends." And then there was wind. But no clue as to why she survived. The soldiers took her father and then brought him back with the Pale Riders to use as leverage. They also find out she doesn't like her home.)

Alicia: But ya can't see what's in my bag!

(Just then a harrier jet arrives and creates a whirling storm. The Mechs escape with Alicia.)

???: hand her over.

Magnetman: Take the girl and go.

Needlegal: Roger.

???: Heh. (removes mysteriousness)

Magnetman: Rich!

Rich Bombman Deal Breaker: Call me Deal Breaker. Yep, the rifle toting mysteryman was me all along! Although i didn't mean to wind up facing my buddies when I joined this gig. Whatcanyado? Looks like yer powerless right now. Hehehe…Guess this lil’ baby works after all. Magnetic resonance scrambler’, I think they called it. MRS. Messes up th’ electron frequency in the air fer a few kilometers once it’s switched on. It'll cause a memory wipe if a robot's defenses get shut down.

Magnetman: So we'll never see those Sinister Six losers again ...

Deal Breaker: No, i activated it just now, they're fine.

Magnetman: Oh. Too bad.

Deal Breaker: Our grandad was a cattle rustler. And he even ran with Billy the Kid. (tosses an old revolver at Kenta's feet.) These guns are the very same grandad used. And they have one bullet each. But they're special bullets that'll definitely kill even us. We're gonna settle this like they do in the Westerns.

(They do and Bombman falls.)

Magnetman: Hey ... your gun is empty!

Deal Breaker: I really am sorry for that dick move all those years back.

Magnetman: I don't care. But if you wanted this, then why did you shoot Hardman? Why try to shoot everyone else? Why didn't you tell us what was going on at any point during this adventure? Why didn't you help us fight at all? Why stick to the shadows?

Deal Breaker: M-m-m ... mysteriousness ...

Magnetman: Jerk.

Deal Breaker: Make sure they don't bring me back.

(Magnet mercilessly crushes his brother's skull and says maybe someday he'll forgive him. Instead of feeling great he feels tainted.)

(Meanwhile a mysterious person strikes Needle and kidnaps Alicia.)

Needlegal: DAMMIT! Ice VS Red ... the Unnamed ... and now Wanted! When will I stop being used to give Shadowman some emotional turmoil?

Shadowman: NEEDLE! You gotta BREATH! We need you!

Needlegal: I'm a robot! I never needed to breath.

Shadowman: With all this magnetism in the air, Needlegal will be memory-wiped if she goes offline!

Magnetman: Leave it to me. I can keep her safe for a time. This adventure has been very bloody for me, so I'd like to do some good.

(Meanwhile a man named Victory congratulated his men in the only non-Mechs scene of the story.)

Victory: Hell of a job. Congrats, Dusk.

War: RAWR! I'm ready for battle.

Famine: Yep. Me too!

Victory: And if things go south we'll just kill Alicia and her father.

Dusk: Just don't underestimate them. (Yes I'm still around.)

(Needlegal pulled through thanks to Classi.)

Spark Chan: Being a pacifist means I'm excellent in robotic repairs.

Snakeman: Hey, guys. I'm finished my epic duel.

Shadowman: FINALLY!

Snakeman: What'd I miss?

Shadowman: Only everything! We all had about two epic duels each while you were busy with your one!

Snakeman: *Hmph* Well, everyone's across the crater now. There's four enemies and two hostages there.

Topman: Must be Alicia and her dad.

Hardman: There's one way across. Everybody aboard th' Hard knuckle express! With Gemini's geometry skills and Magnet's magnetism we should be able t' make it.

Shadowman: We're gonna ride your arms!? Geez, how big are you exactly? How do you even fit inside of a door if your arms can carry all of us!?

Hardman: Th' world may never know.

(Shadow, Spark, Gemini, Top, and Snake all ride Hard's Knuckle's across the crater.)

Snakeman: Best mech moment ever.

Shadowman: Hand her over!

Victory: Uh ... no. You see this is just the beginning! Sure it was unfair to dump this all on you, but the time has come to clean this country up! Starting with this armpit of a city.

Shadowman: So you're behind all this!?

Victory: No, you are. Or so the public thinks. And they'll continue to think that unless you join me. You don't really have any choice. even if you beat us you'll still be criminals.

Shadowman: Join the government? Not really my style.

Victory: You were a member of the robot police! The police is part of the government! But maybe some exposition will change your mind. We are the Four Horsemen. We are all that remains of an elite group of U.S. government-backed mercenaries from the eighties called the Pale Riders. See, we were the ones the government called when they needed some rather…illegal activities performed when they couldn’t get UN approval. It was a very lucrative business, I’ve got to say.

Topman: Aw, man, so much exposition...

Victory: Until, that is, we were directly involved in a high profile disaster during an espionage mission. You may have heard of it ... the Chernobyl disaster in Russia ? The Reagan administration was very worried that Soviet nuclear power plants would give them too much leverage in the Cold War, so an…accident was arranged. We lost five men that day when we found the government gave us faulty plans. On purpose.

Topman: And it;'s still going!

Victory: They set us up to fail. We had become a liability by then, knowing too many secrets. They wanted to kill two birds with one stone by throwing a wrench into the Soviets’ plans, as well as ridding themselves of us. Since we weren’t officially employed by the U.S. government, they could easily claim we were independent terrorists. Which they did.

(Victory removed his helmet.)

Shadowman: Victor Ryder? The Secretary of Defense?

Victory: (Pulls of synthetic skin and makeup showing a horrific appearance.) We were lucky. The other Pale Riders…The original Pale Riders, they died awful deaths in that power plant that day, being scalded to death by nuclear hot, boiling water.

Famine: In the Gulags, we had a lot of time to think for ourselves. It was in there our hatred for all things American came to exist. When we were rescued and whisked back ‘home’, we played along…We got what we wanted.

Victory: They gave us power. More than they knew they had. We’ve sworn to change this wretched country and its secretive ways…We wanted to change it from within, using their own secrets to eat away at it like cancer. Like the radiation that had eaten away at us. We have resources beyond what you expect. We are no mere revolutionaries; we are a FORCE. The thing that destroyed LA was one of our toys…But we never wanted to use it on American soil. That’s the truth.

Spark Chan: Wow, that was a lot of exposition. Thanks for telling us exactly who you are and what your motives are. You know, we'd never know your story without you telling us.

Victory: You're welcome.

Shadowman: Victory, I believe your exposition. But every government can be corrupt in some way. You just killed everyone here, pinned it on us, and then tried to kill us too. I think you're corrupt jerks.

Victory: So naive. I see the time for exposition has past.

(War took the first shot against Shadowman. Spark Chan accidentally found out electricity is their weakness. )

Topman: Awesome! Our first group battle in the tale.

Famine: Well, not really, but we do switch who we're fighting more.

Snakeman: You've gotta fight, Spark!

Spark Chan: (pouts) Okay. (Gets shot.)

War: Stupid.

Geminiman: SPARKS!

Death: Keep your eyes on the enemy. (Beats up Gemini.)

Famine: I rule. I even use some of Dr. Light's own tech.

(Shadowman stabs him through the shadows.)

Shadowman: Yer not so hot. (Over the radio) guys, we're gonna have to stop these one-on-one duels and deliver one decisive blow on these guys to beat 'em. Together!

(There's an explosion.)

War: What the Hell was that!?

Famine: A chemical reaction! War, your fire ignites my caustic fume. Be careful, for God’s sake!

Shadowman: Snake, have your snake "Skip" target me.

(Skip produces a miniature sidewinder missile. It *just* misses Shadowman as he warps out.)

Famine: Aw, CRAP! (Famine's armor devoured by his own caustic gas. Topman delivers the finishing blow.)

Topman: Woo hoo! Did you see me kick that guy's head off? Brains everywhere!

Victory: I'm a gonna powah mah lazer!

(The white light carves a swath of destruction.)

Snakeman: Looks like we're done for.

(The lazer dies out and War's killed.)

Geminiman: I'm not an asshole anymore and am back to my bisonen self! Spark Chan's injury shocked me to my senses Hello, all!

Victory: (aiming his lazer at Gemini's head.) Not fer long.

(One of Snake's snakes shoots it out of his hand.)

Victory: OW! Darn!

Death: (Grabbing Gemini) Back off or the bishonen gets it.

(Snake snips him.)

Death: Aw, shoot. (Dies.)

Shadowman: Give up, Victory.

Victory: Requiem Mass! ATTACK!

(The giant robots bursts from the back of the giant helicopter.)

Requiem Mass: I'm a GIANT!

Shadowman: Aw, come on!

(Victory sneaks away with the hostages.)

Shadowman: Aw, come on!

Topman: Let's kick giant robot ass!

(They fight Requiem Mass. Requiem makes short work of Topman. He's made of LCT - the same thing Met's hats are made from. )

Shadowman: Damn, the chopper's taking off!

Snakeman: Got it. (Snake shoots the chopper down. It lands safely.) (Suddenly he is stabbed through the chest.)

Death: Wanker. (While dying Snake stabs him in the face. Death dies. Again.)

(Gemini does his best against Requiem, but is losing. Suddenly he's rescued by Classi.)

Spark Chan: So much for pacifism.

(Shadowman makes his way to the chopper.)

Victory: Damn, why won't people shoot hostages when I tell them to? Kids these days...

Doctor Enstehung: Are you okay with this?

Alicia: Yes, father.

(Shadowman finally arrives to find a bunch of dead bodies. Including Alicia's hacked-up remains.)

Shadowman: YIKES! Where's victory?

(Victory is cowering in fear before Doctor Enstehung, who is covered in blood.)

Victory: This guy's a monster! He killed his own daughter! And he took some kind of blades from her backpack and cut off my damned legs!

Shadowman: Enstehung!? How could you?

General Cutman: In reality I'm General Cutman! (Peeling off the bloody skin he was using as a disguise.) Heh heh. I was behind it all along. I tested my new weapon and you, my old enemies from another dimension and the second most appropriate group to antagonize without the S6 around, YOU took the fall!

(General Cutman kills Victory.)

Shadowman: But how!? You died in the Sinister Six finale! And you never appeared in the Mechs epilogues at all! Explain to me how you survived. And explain to our readers who might not have read Rich's AU stories who you are.

General Cutman: I hail from another dimension. I was created with super intelligence by Dr. Light. But humanity feared it and the good doctor himself deactivated me. Wily painfully reconstructed me, but I escaped him. Humans suck! I would clash with the robots Light built after me - the "Sinister Six". They beat me once, but I was rescued by Red since they were too stupid to destroy my body. My Scissor Army wreaked havoc on my world and I took it over! All was well until an anomaly ripped me from my home dimension and deposited me here.

Gauntlet: (That would be Mesmerman in an unseen event before Series 6 ever started.)

General Cutman: Exactly! This reality greatly confused me at first, prompting many setbacks. But I bounced back, stole the Necronomicon, and was preparing a new Scissor Army to take over the world! I systematically took out the Sinister Six's support and made a pact with their villains. I stole Wily's greatest creation. I even revived Iceman Red, hoping to join forces with one who was also betrayed by his creator - a counterpart to my loyal follower on my own world! But it didn't work out. he rejected me! And that accursed Rich - Bombman - almost killed himself to take me out.

Shadowman: But it looks like he failed.

General Cutman: Well, obviously, genius! Still he did succeed in destroying my body, hence the new version you see here. I adopted a human identity in order to better manipulate this world's government. I had hoped to get revenge on the Sinister Six for the damage they caused me, but they have since disbanded and disappeared. It was serendipity that those Pale Riders picked you as the fall guys for my bomb. The government loved how neatly it got rid of everyone.

Shadowman: But what's the point?

General Cutman: It's what i do! I tricked the Horsemen into using it because I hate filthy stinkin' humans. And there's 10 of these bombs left, by the way.

(General Cutman picked up his "daughter's" head."

General Cutman: I put the core element to my microwave bombs right in here. I tricked the Horsemen into bombing the place by "daughter" here and telling them she had the cores and was going to give them to terrorists on my behalf. So they blew the whole place up rather then let that happen.

Shadowman: I got it all on tape! My "bad" eye has a video camera installed.

General Cutman: Curses, foiled again!

(They fight, Cutman having the advantage since he fought - and beat - the Shadowman on his own world. Still after a battle of wits Shadowman manages to destroy the cores. But general Cutman isn't perturbed by this in the slightest. )

General Cutman: HAH! I don't care.

(They fight some more before Shadowman hesitates in killing General Cutman.)

General Cutman: He who hesitates is lost.

(General Cutman narrowly escapes.)

Shadowman: DAMN IT!

To be continued ...