Anyone remember that time everyone went to war?

Series 6

(The world finds out what happened in LA and collectively vomits. The Maniacs' names are cleared. They continue to have adventures...)

Shadow-copy: For everlasting justice! This is ours!

Snakeman: THESE GUYS ARE STILL SHOWING UP?

Geminiman: They're a little tougher to deal with now ...

Multiman: Yeah, we've been pumping Monsteropolis with those knockoffs of you.

Expressman: How do you like them apples?

(They beat the Mechs using trickery.)

???: I helping you guys, but just let me lie low. I'm keeping a low profile. 

Barrageman: Unit Barrageman thanks mysterious question marks!

Mecha Energy: (screams shrilly inside of its Pokeball)

Doc Robot: Now, I will use Mecha Energy and technology garnered from the Mechanical Maniacs themselves to create the next step in robotic evolution!

Frankenstein:  *ROOOAAAARRR*

Spark Chan: The next step in robotic evolution sure is ugly.

N-Top: And they couldn't couldn't have done it without my help.

Topman: Nightmare Top!?

N-Top: YES! I was the question marks all along!

Shadowman: Mecha Energy was in the Ark when it was stolen ... so that means you're the one who hired Carmen Sandiego to steal it!

N-Top: YES! But that's not all. It was also me who created the Transmetal Armor for the Sinister Six in exchange for what they stole for me - Bizarro Shadowman's brain module! It has the schematics of every body he's ever used and Doc Robot used that information to create Frankenstein here. Frankenstein is as immortal as the Limited Armor from the alternate reality! He uses technology from my own Transmetal Armor to give him greater endurance! There's a healthy dose of Transformer technology to enable him to change form as the need arises. And, of course, a dash of Borg technology to add some finer details. But it's a growing boy and needs to assimilate even more technology. And guess what? You're on the menu! I suppose I could have killed you and then had him eat you, but I like this better. And after it's done I'll transplant my beautiful brain into it and become truly invincible!

(Doc Robot flips a switch and the 'Maniacs along with N-Topman scream in Pain!)

N-Top: WHAT!?

Multiman: This is called a "double-cross", weenie. Like we'd ever let you control that thing!

Shadowman: This thing is just a mindless creature! Very powerful with no mind at all.

(Suddenly the Maniacs are rescued. The Wily Rescue force escape with Nightmare Topman.)

Special Forces: We're the Special Forces! You do not want to mess with us!

Geminiman: They're modified Gamma Units! The same kind Bizarro trapped us in during "the Unnamed"! The RPD musta have gained access to their schematics when they fixed up the Technodrome for us.

Special Forces: But on the side of good this time.

Spark Chan: Uh ... hooray?

(And Mecha Energy is freed ...)

Mecha Energy: SCREEEEE!!!!

Shadowman: We have to retreat. The force here is overwhelming.

Geminiman: The knockoffs of us are swarming the streets!

Needlegal: Mecha Energy is going towards some power plants at an alarming rate. Machines are going haywire as he runs through the streets.

Spark Chan: And Frankenstein's still out there!

Shadowman: ... the Chief wants to speak to us personally.

Spark Chan: You know, we've never actually met the Chief before this. I wonder who he is ...

Crorq: Greetings INFIDELS! It is I ... CRORQ THE MAGNIFICENT!!!! (eats chicken wings loudly and messily.)

Snakeman: I miss the ruins of LA already.

Topman: What happened to you!? The last time we saw you, you were operating under calm (albeit terribly flawed) logic. And now you have some kind of eating disorder and are the chief of police!

Crorq: How would you feel if you were eaten by Bizarros, fed a virus, betrayed by your peers, captured, reprogrammed, literally chained to a desk, and forced to use your brilliant mind to do menial labor? (munches on chicken wings) At least I get to make your lives as miserable as possible. Now deal with your mess or I toss you into robot jail for making it in the first place!

Geminiman: We're not taking this, are we!?

Shadowman: He's the chief of police. What do you want to do?

Geminiman: Damn it!

(The Spark and Magnet fight Mecha energy while the rest take on Frankenstein. Both to little avail.)

Xelloss: Hey, guys! How do you like my Mechanical Maniacs knockoffs?

Hardman: It was you!? I thought it was the Wily Rescue Force!

Xelloss: No, but they're big buyers. Anyways, I have a solution to your Frankenstein problem. Nightmare Topman created him mindless, so he could be his new body. You know, though ... his feral, mindless nature might be making him more dangerous. Maybe you should install a more simple, controllable mind in the creature ...

...

Hardman: You want us to use one of the Mechs copies you made to recreate Bizarro Shadowman!

Xelloss: It doesn't have to be a Shadowman copy ...

Hardman: Hm. Well, a Bizarro Hardman might make for a nice change of pace...

Topman: No way! No freakin' way! This was your plan all along, wasn't it?

Xelloss: Well, don't mean to toot my own horn ... I saw an opportunity and I'm taking it. Anyways, don't you remember that favor you owe me from "Hardman's Bar"? Well I've come to collect! It's better you do it ... I don't want you to get eaten or anything like that.

Hardman: Dammit, we owe you. We owe you.

(Xelloss deactivated the cloning machine that created the army of knockoffs.)

Shadowman: Hardman's right, we owe Xel.

Topman: Dammit!

Snakeman: Before we do that I have a plan to deal with Mechs Energy. Have Magnetman use it as a power source to create a magnetic field that will further disrupt the energy being's form. Then Spark Chan can absorb the rest as Shadowman uses his holograms as a distraction. Then we can feed it the Shadowman copy.

(They follow the plan and Frankenstein begins to merge with the broken Shadowman knockoff.)

Xelloss: (appears from out of nowhere) I'm here just to make sure things go off without a hitch. It looks like the merger is going well.

Shadowman: Screw you, Xelloss! (Shadowman attacks with many holograms.)

Xelloss: What do you think you're doing!?

Geminiman: Cheating! It's a Mechs tradition.

(Geminiman blasts the merging Shadow Copy and Frankenstein away with an unusually powerful Gemini Lazer! It turns out Spark Chan had absorbed all of Mechs Energy with Magnetman's help and channeled that energy into Geminiman for a blast powerful enough to take out the night-invulnerable enemy at it's most vulnerable moment - as it was assimilating the Shadowman Copy.)

Xelloss: You ... you ...

Topman: Technically, we did hold up our end of the bargain. For one brief shining moment Bizarro Shadowman was reborn using the Shadow Copy and Frankenstein, just like you wanted.

Xelloss: Mwa hah hah hah! I suppose you're right. But I will remember this. (Xelloss disappears.)

Hardman: Damn, we've had some plot heavy stuff happen lately. It's high time fer some rand'm adventures.

(A hotel gets held up by a psychotic robot ...)

Hardman: I'm takin' point on this.

Snakeman: Snakeman: I'll send my snakes as backup.

Topman: The bot's name is Milostraga according to Rival. You, know Rival? My longtime source in Wily's compound? That we've always had? Yeah, him. He also says this clown is "wide."

Hardman: People have been startn' t' call us "Metalhead" and there's some "Freebot" crap that's not passed into law yet. Whadya make a that, Magnet?

Magnetman: Foreshadowing!

Hardman: Aw, what th' Hell is this shit?

(Milostraga was about six feet tall, a sturdy-without-being-fat kind of build with a dull green and faded purple color scheme. His head had a swept-back, Sonic-The-Hedgehog-like three tipped mask, a fairly dull set of eyes, and no visible mouth. Two of his hands were holding hostages, and two of his hands were clenched into fists. Wait, let me make this clearer: At his shoulders, he had what I can only describe as an additional shoulder on each side, with their own arms, and those arms have two shoulder-mounted grade 4 plasma weapon turrets. The outer set of arms are much boxier than the rest of his design, and also a little bigger, colored in red and white, giving the impression that they might have once belonged to someone else, and he grafted them onto his own arms. The overall effect made him, as has already been said, wide. Despite being ridiculous he was very nimble.)

(The team chases Milostraga. The one to actually catch up with him just happens to be Magnetman, which is bad for Milostraga as he's unceremoniously tossed from a 6 story building.)

Magnetman: Yeah, I'm violent.

(The team then gets accosted by the press.)

The Press: Do you think the separation of Robot and Freebot classes will lead to a rise in this kind of crime? Needlegal, do you find it difficult to be heard in a predominantly male society? Topman, where do you get your clothing made? Snakeman, do you send your Search Snakes into girls' locker rooms? Shadowman, what do you say to accusations that Freebots think themselves above the law and should all be deactivated, starting with the Megaman Teams?

Magnetman: Foreshadowing!

Hardman: Geez, can't you guys tell we're workin' here!?

(Hardman faces off against a tank ...)

Hardman: I cant b'lieve this start'd out 'cause I hadda go shoppin'...

Spark Chan: You've been on the team longer than I have, you gotta be used to running into random tanks.

Random Militant: I hate robots!

Hardman: Shut up!

(Hardman is dropped from a plane in order to make a bust on a drug ring. But it turned out the drug ring was a cover for felling black market pre-Robot Master Warbots ...)

Shadowman: Warbots are pre-Asimov laws so they don't have any qualms about killing humans and crap.

Magnetman: Not that that's stopped us from killing humans in Wanted, the most brutal Mechs adventure to date (beams proudly). Bombs ahoy!

Hardman: (falling) I hate my joooooooob~!

(Hardman plays poker on poker night with Turbo, Ring, and Quickman when a protest gets out of hand...)

Hardman: What's their probl'm?

Shadowman: The budget increase to the RPD.

Hardman: Y'know, the Series 6 banner says RPF.

Shadowman: Whatever! it can be both.

Hardman: After nearly dying 'anks to a giant magnet, and bein' attacked by a Lightnin' gun an' a lazer we've captur'd two assailants. But more prob'ly escaped. Darn.

(We're introduced to Captain Landigarm...)

Landigarm: I actually showed up in the first "Maniacs on patrol" story. I hate Metalheads (that's a derogatory term for robots). The Chief wants to see you!

Shadowman: Crorq?

Landigarm: No, this is a Hardman story, so it's a different chief. He's chief of the ... human police. Yeah, that's it. You only met him when you all first became cops. Briefly. Just go.

Chief: I don't quite trust you robots, so I've tasked some men with creating countermeasures against you. Unfortunately, they fell into the wrong hands, prompting that attack. We have ourselves an inside job. Unfortunately, those weapons are out there now, so you'll all have to be careful.

Shadowman: Thanks for the heads up ... I guess.

Hardman: Man, those humans ... they're so paranoid about us robots that they're goin' nuts with these countermeasures! Nothin's been passed into law yet, but ...

Magnetman: Foreshadowing.

Hardman: Yeah. Foreshadowin'.

(They meet their secretary, an upbeat torso on wheels with a bizarre name... )

Gaderham: Hello!

Geminiman: Little weirdo...

Gaderham: I don't want to sound like a worrier but the shipment was supposed to be here twenty minutes ago.

Hardman: I learned some more about Gaderham. Underneath the mindless optimism was a guy who liked the idea of makin' th' world safer with a mind fer tactics an' a head for numbers. More 'n most 'bots, I mean. He was like a super accountant with police trainin'.

Magnetman: But he discouraged us from splitting up, thereby preventing us from having any epic duels. So I don't like him much.

Spinman: Hey, it looks like actual longtime Mechs villains are behind this caper!

Topman: Beating you guys never gets old!

Gaderham: We recovered the shipment, but everything's busted.

Needlegal: All in a day's work.

(The Mechs go on a small vacation, but not before the mayor enacts a new law ...)

Spark Chan: I can't believe that all the non-Megaman characters were kicked out of Monsteropolis.

Shadowman: Yep. No more wacky guest stars for us!

Geminiman: I'll miss them. Well I have to get to work in the paranormal division. Come along, ghost assistants.

Shadowman: There's nobody there, Gem. Quit faking it.

Hardman: Hey, remember that time Tennissman challenged us to a fight? And that giant Glaciarman guy? And that time we met the Dark Mechs from the Dark Future?

Shadowman: And now Geminiman's looking sane.

Hardman: Comeon! Make th' Mechs Moments canon! Gag's canon!

Shadowman: Maybe once I write an ending to them.

Jump Jump: JUMP!  JUMP!

Slide Slide: SLIDE!  SLIDE!

Jump Jump: JUMP!  JUMP!

Slide Slide: SLIDE!  SLIDE!

Hardman: Those guys're begin'n ta bug me.

Torchman: Finally! We've stolen the Technodrome's eyeball!

Geminiman: getting it back will be our #1 priority! Unless there's some sort of ... war that happens that will disrupt all ongoing storylines. But what are the chances of that?

Magnetman: The hotel we were staying at has jerked us around for the last time! I demand to see the manager!

Xelloss: You rang?

Needlegal: Dammit! I thought there were no more random guest stars!

Xelloss: Unless Hardman's comfortable with Mesmerman being a random joke every now and then you're stuck with me.

Hardman: Mesmerman is most certainly too cool t' be a rand'm joke!

Xelloss: Then yer stuck with me.

Needlegal: Dammit!

(The Evil Eight have a confrontation with the Wily Rescue Force...)

Warman: It's been so long since we've seen any action ..... I'm itching for a fight!

Spinman: It's been, like, one epilogue.

Warman: I'm itching for a fight!

Chimeraman: I think we're in trouble. Wily let us stew in Robot Jail and I think he blames us for working with Mesmerman.

Golemman: Golem hate Mesmerman! Not Golem's fault!

Omniman: I'll speak with Wily. Straighten things out....

Wily: Thanks for this Bassanium, Doc Robot! You and the rest of the force are the best robots I ever built!

Omniman: !? Wily ... he favors the Rescue Force!

Cleaveman: It cannot be! We have served Wily loyally for far longer! We have to do something about this.

(The WRF and the E8 compete in a series of challenges across Monsteropolis.)

Geminiman: What's going on here? Can't you settle things in a civilized manner?

Expressman, Spinman: NO! Beat it!

Crorq: Mechanical Maniacs! This is your god, Crorq the INCONCIEVABLE speaking! The Evil Eight have hacked into the Special Forces communications systems. It seems they're trying to take them over. Go and fix it! or else!

Shadowman: Thanks to recent technological innovations, neither we nor the Eight can just "poof" into the "Cyberworld" as if we owned the place anymore. Our bodies stay here in the real world while our minds wander around like "Navis". So the Eight's bodies have gotta be around somewhere. Geminiman, I need you to track the signal to the Eight's bodies.

Skullman.EXE: SWEET! I get to insert a Viral Infection reference!

Needlegal.EXE: Not so sweet. Nobody knows who they are anymore. That's why Topman was switched from Gutsman.EXE to Topman.EXE way back in series 5.

Skullman.EXE: I don't care ... I don't care! Viral Infection 4eva!

Magnetman.EXE: *sigh*

Shadowman.EXE: We'll delete Skullman.exe again after we deal with the Evil Eight!

Skullman.EXE: Aw... but Ben gets to be Fireman.EXE even though Fireman died and he's Heatman now.

Torchman.EXE: I am not "Ben"! Now and forever I am the one and only TORCHMAN! And in this place of existence you may address me as Torchman.EXE!

Blademan.EXE: HAH! Fooled ya, bitches!

Needlegal.EXE: What in the world are the Sinister Six doing here!?

Shadowman.EXE: It's a mysterious plot point! One you can all look forward to in the future. Unless something unlikely like a giant community-wide war happens and disrupts the plans of the Mech authors!

Needlegal.EXE: And since when do they have EXE forms?

Torchman.EXE: Our lives do not revolve around you people, we do have other adventures. I tire of these games. We have already achieved our goal.

(The Sinister Six leaves.)

Shadowman.EXE: How delightfully mysterious!

Cleaveman.EXE: Damn it, the Mechs are here! Time for fighting!

(Meanwhile Hardman and Topman make sure the Special Forces Units don't turn against everyone.)

Hardman: You sure yer not evil?

Officer: Pretty sure.

(The power shuts down.)

Doc Robot: Final Challenge is for all team members! Each will try to capture one Special Forces member for our master!

(Unfortunately the Mechs and the Evil Eight survive Doc Robots assault and all Hell breaks loose in the Special Forces Unit's bunker.)

Mesmerman: Well, isn't this a fine mess? It looks like we all wanted our own Special Forces Units and all at the same time.

Barrageman: Unit Barrageman says get out! Unit Barrageman and Wily Rescue Force present previously!

Clawman: Yeah, get lost!

(Mesmerman attacks and the WRF leave discreetly.)

Multiman: We're really leaving?

Doc Robot: Doc Robot detects unusual virus ... Doc Robot believes Nightmare Topman has infected us. We will regroup.

Expressman: Wait, what about that contest?

Doc Robot: Who cares?

(Nightmare Topman warps reality and emerges from a bubble in the floor.)

N-Top: The Special Forces belong to me!

Mesmerman: Oh HO! So you think you're hot stuff, eh!?

(The Evil Eight watch the battle between two seemingly all-powerful opponents unfold.)

Chimeraman: Damn, they're awesome. I miss being that powerful.

Clawman: Aw, yer an ass when you're powerful.

Chimeraman: Yer an ass!

Cleaveman: Yer both asses!

Omniman: Stop this bickering! While everyone's distracted we can take the Special Forces Officer and win the challenge!

Artilleryman: Don't you get it, Omni? We were being used! All that was just crap from Mesmerman! AGAIN!

Omniman: But we can beat the Wily Rescue Force!

Artilleryman: You people win your meaningless game. I'm outta here.

Chimeraman: You know what? All this time I thought Wily was my path to power. But all he's done is lead me in circles. I'm gonna try joining a winning team.

Omniman: Stop! Stop!

(The Evil Eight go their separate ways. Artilleryman, Cleaveman, and Chimera go off individually. Warman, Spinman, and Clawman make up a three member team. Golemman decides to stick with Omniman.)

(Nightmare Top and Mesmerman pause in their battle to find ...)

N-Top: They're gone! All of them!

Mesmerman: ...and it seems the system is down. All the control panels have been destroyed. I can't seize my vessels if they're not wiped clean. Our plans are...

N-Top: THOSE DAMN MECHS!!!

(With the government proposing a Robot Shutdown Act, the community goes to War ...)

(It begins before Series 6 starts with a mostly destroyed general Cutman rebuilding himself with only his teeth and Mesmerman a short time later.)

General Cutman: So you do exist.

Mesmerman: What exists and what does not is more a matter of choice and perception. But for the purposes of the next exchange between us, I shall exist on a level you can understand, yes.

General Cutman: What a presumptuous and arrogant thing to say! I know we'll be the best of friends.

Mesmerman: Friends!? Bah. Why should I, the great Mesmerman design to be friends with one such as you?

General Cutman: I could help you get more energy. Just being in holographic form consumes energy like a human consumes rent.

Mesmerman: WATCH WHAT YOU SAY, JERK!

General Cutman: Woo, touchy. I like you! Let's team up!

Mesmerman: Fine.

(In a completely unrelated event, the Shutdown code is introduced...)

Needlegal: Beating the Wily Rescue Force again ... good times, good times.

People: WTF!? You wrecked the building you were supposed to protect and the WRF still got away!

Needlegal: You're welcome.

Shadowman: Crorq gave us some new software to install. Anyone game?

(No one is)

Spark Chan: (cries) My Mango Tree has been burnt down by human jerks! My and robot spider daughter, Shoryu (left over from my time as Web Spider on the X-Force and was totally always here the whole time) has been terribly wounded.

(Elsewhere Dr. Light is being shown new Sniper Joe models.)

Dr. Light: You know these look a little ... dangerous. You know, Monsteropolis' history with robots involves a lot of rebelling and reprogramming.

Vincent Williamson: ... what's your point?

(And Senator Keigle passes a new law...)

Keigle: Robots run amok too much and the public has had enough. The Shutdown Code is a software program installed in robots, wherein a human officer in charge of monitoring the activities of these robots can shutdown, via remote, any offending robot within seconds. Kinda wish we had the foresight to make this waaaaay back in Megaman 1, eh?

Mayor: As the mayor of Monsteropolis I have to agree.

Dr. Light: No! This is a complete outrage! What about free will? You can't play God!

Richard Malcolms (one of the higher ups at the Human Administrative Board in charge of the monitoring and regulation of robot activity): Quiet, you. Didn't you just talk about how bad reprogramming was in our society a few paragraph ago? Oh, and look at that, the law just passed.

Cassandra: Doesn't this new law bug you, Hardian? You're not a criminal!

Hardman: eh.

Snakeman: By the way I still haven't found anything on Cutman. I'm really bugged by the fact that the only reason we know he's involved is because he let us know.

Shadowman: He's just a showoff at heart, like all Mary Sues.

Dr. Cossack. Fucking Shutdown Code. Something must be done! I and my band of merry men will become heroic outlaws!

Dr. Light: You mean your band of psychopaths, malcontents, and the clinically insane?

Dr. Cossack. Yes, them!

Dr. Cossack. General Cutman!? More like General ... Suckman! Thinks he can do a better job at world domination than me? Something must be done! I will use my band of robots to take over the world!

Quickman: You mean your band of heroic robots who follow you only because they're forced to?

Dr. Cossack. Yes, them!

Snakeman: Found him! There has been illegal teleportation movement from Gavel Arms Ltd’s HQ (the makers of my and the Judge's AWESOME rifle). It matches the unknown signal we read in the logs for LA that one day, presumably his.

Shadowman: TO ARMS!

Hardman: Damn I gotta wait outside cuz I'm too big. Sucks.

Shadowman: Yes, in this part of the story your size is large enough to be an inconvenience. It had to happen sooner or later. Sorry.

(The Maniacs burst in on Cutman.)

Vincent Williamson: I was Cutman ALL ALONG! I hate humans! We can live forever and are better! Legacy, Shadowman, LEGACY!!

(Raijin tries to snipe General Cutman.)

Snakeman: God, I love bein' a sniper. Wait, why didn't it work?

Magnetman: I'm evil now!

Mesmerman: And it's all my doing! And I was also the one who got Shadowman to let him on the team! And it was I who made him hate Rich so much too; he barely cared about him before.But I made him hate the guy sooooooo much that he killed him!

The Maniacs: *GASP*!

General Cutman: But enough exposition. Let's get this show on the road! It's time to activate my Scissor Army! (Cutman does)

Topman: Heh, I think we can handle an army of scissors. I mean, what can they do? Cut us to death?

General Cutman: ... they aren't, literally, a "Scissor Army". They're the advanced Joes introduced in the beginning. I just call it my "Scissor Army" because it's cool.

Topman: Oh. OH! For a second there I thought you had a desk full of Rolling Cutters that you were gonna chuck at us or something. But, no. No, this makes more sense. I dunno why I thought you had a desk drawer full of scissors. Just forget it.

(The Mechs battle with some the Cutman's Generals, but manage to escape...)

Chargeman: WAAARRRGH!!!!

Snakeman: Oh, MAN! Chargeman has been reformatted into an amazing war machine of death! Just look at that incredible sprite! You can really tell General Cutman went all out on him. I'll bet he'll never go out of control and run over his own team.

Spark Chan: Okay, Shadow, what's the plan?

Shadowman: Plan!? Er ... um ... let's handle the more immediate problem first and focus on destroying General Cutman, Mesmerman, and this Scissor Army using the resources of the RPD.

Topman: But what about the Shutdown Code!?

Shadowman: ... maybe they'll postpone it? Is that really the main concern right now?

(Dr. Light tries to get the law repealed...)

Dr. Light: Robot rights! Robot rights!

Richard Malcolms: Robots are on the rampage as we speak!

Dr. Light: Robot rights!

Richard Malcolms: Arrest him for conspiring against the government (or something).

Megaman: You can't arrest Dr. Light!

(They use the Shutdown Code on Megaman, but Dr. Light and co. manage to escape.)

Topman: We should fight BOTH!

Hardman: What a puny plan you have. Right now, we gotta side with the cops.

Shadowman: We can cheat! Find some way to hack the code while still being on the RPD.

Snakeman: I don't think that's possible, but I'm with the cops right now. My time on the force has taught me the value of law and order. My personality has taken a 180 degree shift from the time I gladly sold hard lemonade to kids.

Needlegal: Yeah, we can change the system from within.

Spark Chan: Grrrr NO! My unseen and hitherto unheard of daughter was seriously hurt by humans and i will not give my fate over to them! And you're all menaces! Everyone was so bloody in Wanted! Geez!

Topman: Screw it, I'm outta here. Dr. Light must have a plan to stop the Shutdown Code!

Shadowman: Dr. Cossack is actually the one with that mission. Dr. Light is the neutral party for characters that aren't gonna join the war at all.

Topman: ... I'm sure I'll have lots of interesting adventures ...

Needlegal: Did we learn nothing about interteam strife from the Unnamed!?

(Everyone disperses.)

Shadowman: Now all we have to do is pretend to load a fake program into ourselves and we'll be alllllll set.

Crorq: Greetings! It is I ... Crorq! Your boss ... and now the man in charge of your very lives! I and my five Special Forces Units decided to make sure you didn't try to, oh I don't know, install a fake Shutdown Code on yourselves.

...

Needlegal: Wouldn't. Dream. Of. It.

(Shortly, an unfinished and unposted story's plot thread gets worked into War.)

Geminiman: Classi ... I didn't even get to say goodbye to her, ghost friends.

Sohee: She'll be fine, Master Geminiman.

Geminiman: It's a good thing Shadowman has found a way to cheat the system. They only think I have the shutdown code installed.

Munak: He did? It didn't look like he did.

Geminiman: He must have! Although I have been feeling really out of it lately. That or someone just pasted this scene here without really reading it. Anyway, I'm afraid if they find out about it they might do something really nasty to me. So I want you all to try and find Light. Away from the story.

Bongun: of course, my old friend. We'll see each other again.

(They never do, this story is never finished, never becomes canon..)

Needlegal: Gemini is talking to his "ghost friends" again.

Hardman: Just ignore 'im.

Geminiman: Don't ignore me! I really do have ghost friends. And why aren't I in the field more?

(Classi checks in on Shoryu..)

Spark Chan: I thought I told you to go to Dr. Light's!

Shoryu: Too scared.

(They flee. Spark Chan is rendered unconscious and Bass rescues her along with an injured boy she was clinging to. Unknown to him Shoryu is left behind some rubble.)

(The cops continue to isolate Shadowman from the rest of the Mechs, trying to curb their unruliness.)

Shadowman: What the Hell? It's not like we're a bunch of maniacs or something Man, the RPD sucks.

Expressman; Hey, Shadow! The RPD sucks. Do you fellahs wanna work for the big W? We can let bygones by bygones! Wily can definitely get rid of that shutdown code from yer head too. The man has 133+ $ki11z.

Shadowman: Geez, I'm ... actually tempted. But, no. I just can't trust Wily.

Artilleryman: You heard one offer, here's the counterproposal from Dr. Cossack. I told him you ... people ... weren't needed but he seems to think having you on his side would be an asset. So here I am. Now are you gonna be idiots and stay with the RPD or show some brains and side with Cossack?

Snakeman: Aren't you on Wily's side?

Artilleryman: I'm on money's side now. Look I don't have a lotta time, so ...

Shadowman: Even though you've made such a convincing argument the answer's no. But here's a disk with the shutdown code on it. I'm sure Dr. Cossack will make good use of it.

(The disk never becomes relevant.)

(Gemini grows increasingly impatient with his place on the RPD...)

Geminiman: Where's my backup!? Wait ... Shadow knew I was unstable ... I think I talk to ghosts after all! He knew I wouldn't be able to fend for myself! He was counting on it! he sees me as a threat to his leadership. That's IT! It's time to become Evil Lennon! AGAIN!

Mesmerman: Success! After turning Geminiman into an asshole during Wanted I've finally made him turn on the team!

(Spark Chan and the boy wander the city.)

Spark Chan: I guess Bass dropped me off somewhere. So where do I belong in this war?

Boy: Cossack is making an army of freedom fighters!

Spark Chan: Hm, heroic work? Sounds just like me. But I'm sure he's strapped for cash. Adding one more body would hurt his cause more than harm.

Boy: You could always work for free.

Spark Chan: Yes ... one more body taking his money would hurt his cause. Wily it is, then!

Boy: But I thought you didn't trust humans!

Wily: Zat iz a good choice, ya! Velcome to my zide. Az a pluz you vill nut be reprogrammed. Ur tranzmetal too armur preventz is. Really! It Vill never let me reprogram u!

Spark Chan: Oh, you're talking like with an accent again. Almost makes me wanna change my mind.

Boy: I don't feel very safe here.

(Hardman still has his bar and things settle into place.)

Hardman: Everyone needs a place to go,

Where everybody knows yer name!

And they're always glad you came!

Landigarm: I hate you. And all robots.

Hardman: Geez, where in th' world is Gag and Cassandra?

Gag: We were attacked by the Scissor Army and I lost track of Cassandra!

Cassandra: We did okay ... somehow...

Crorq: I hate the Shutdown Code! How DARE those filthy humans think they are worthy to deactivate me!? Oh, things just keep looking down for me. I hate my life. I HATE IT!

Gaderham: But you do know that, as the chief of robot police, you will have the ability to shut down any robot that has the Shutdown Code installed, right? And that you now have enormous say in world affairs now that the RPD has been hastily elevated to world power status.

Crorq: So I am gaining ... even more control? Over people's lives? Over the world!? This is ... everything I've ever wanted! I love this job! I'm gonna eat a bag of victory Doritos!

(Elsewhere, something mysterious happens for 7 pages.)

???: Initiating boot sequence...

Searching for boot record...

No boot record found. Initializing partitioned startup...

Main Artificial Intelligence Online. AI Identification: Constance. System Parameter search initiated...

Fact: I am.

UNABLE TO FIND weapon.sys
UNABLE TO FIND chrome.sys
UNABLE TO FIND mobility.sys
UNABLE TO FIND speech.sys
UNABLE TO FIND senses.sys
UNABLE TO FIND hostlink.sys

ERROR. Multiple vital system failures detected. Reinitializing basic partitions...

???: Must find Dr. Light.

General Cutman: I desire peace. Unfortunately everyone has to die before I get it! Kya hah hah hah hah hah! What, not funny to you guys? All the blood and carnage has dented your sense of humor? Friggin' morons.

(??? kills a bunch of Scissor Joes and steals some of their parts.)

???: Must find Dr. Light.

Gag: Who could have killed these Scissor Joes? It looks like the work of a professional.

Cassandra: No idea.

Gaderham: Not one of the RPD. It does seem like our vigilante is scavenging bits and pieces to reinforce his armor and repair his weapons.

???: (All done my armor. And I shall now be knows as Constance. Too bad I can't talk. Time to run!)

Landigarm: Damn our mystery Scissor Army assailant has fled.

Gaderham: Dammit, it was your fault, Landigarm! Anyhow it looks like this person is looking for Dr. Light. I say we tail him until he leads us to him.

Mesmerman: (Randomly holds up a CD store) Pleased to meet you. Won't you guess me name?

(Normal Mesmerman rends cops and civilians apart using his tentacles. This is a new ability given to him by General Cutman.)

Doctor Octopus: Hey, that's my gimmick! (Dies.)

Mesmerman: Sole survivor, i want you to bath in blood, go to RPD HQ, tell them to bolster their defenses and then shoot yourself in the head!

Burstgirl: How excessive! Wow, this story is a lot more violent than I and most other Megaman Teams figured it would be.

Crorq: I see someone didn't read Wanted, the most violent and bloody Mechs adventure ever before decided to join in a story headed by the same author. Mechs! Mop up that mess. And use Shadowman's scarf to do it.

Landigarm: Damn robots! Gravity killed the bug my family took to get out of the city. Damn it all!

Cassandra: Gee, I remember the times me and Hardman were freedom fighters against evil in that alternate universe. That's where Hardman's accent come from you know.

Gaderham: Weren't you simply his best friend and hot waitress at the bar he's had for years before even joining the Mechs? And if his accent from from the other dimension why don't you also have it? Isn't this the first we're hearing that he and you actually come from that alternate reality and that you had any fighting skills at all as a normal person?

Cassandra: What? No! None of this is made up right now. And I'm insulted that you think so.

Gaderham: Oh, my mistake. Sorry. Anyways, we found a piece of evidence that leads us to believe out mystery triple question mark Joe attacker is a human. See this jacket? It's a Syne Co Labs cybernetic interface jack. Obviously, it's a little damaged and mangled, but you NEVER find these just lying around. Syne Co is one of the government's top technology contractors, and their specialty, indeed, all they are known for, is cybernetic replacements for missing limbs and other such devices. All of the information that our mystery man has gathered only links up when looked at from the perspective of an electronic mind that is learning EVERYTHING from the ground up. Basic facts that you and I both take for granted are key pieces of information for this person, and I have to rule out the medical condition of human amnesia because all cybernetic replacements on a person become utterly useless in the event of memory loss. But I have to rule out a robotic perp!

Cassandra: Why not talk to Syne Co. directly? See who works there to come up with a list of suspects.

Gaderham: I never thought of that!

Cassandra: ... how did you pass cop school?

(Gaderham goes to Syne Co President Thaddeus Tilman.)

Thaddeus Tilman: Allow me to introduce myself, I am a man of wealth and taste.

Gaderham: What!? You're the devil!?

Thaddeus Tilman: Oh, uh, so you've heard of the Rolling Stones?

Gaderham: Of course I've heard of the Rolling Stones and naturally I've heard of Sympathy for the Devil. Why would you introduce yourself as the devil?

Thaddeus Tilman: Uhhhhhh ... ak-ward ....

(Elsewhere Constance still looks for Dr. Light.)

Constance: (Still need repairs. Must find and protect Dr. Light.)

Mesmerman: Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum. I'm the devil! (Is stabbed by Constance.) Everyone's a critic. What an interesting person. What is she? She has the skills of a robot and the body of a human.

(Geminiman attacks Toronto.)

Geminiman: I love my new look! And my upgrades. Man, being a villain is awesome. I love destruction now too.

(Geminiman attacks the RPD there and Artilleryman.)

Geminiman: This is for all the previous insults against me!

Artilleryman: Didn't you win, like, all of those fights? Crap! What have I wandered into?

(After an epic battle, Gemini is triumphant while Artilleryman gets his ass kicked.)

Geminiman: Best Evil Lennon ever!

(Omniman and Golemman try to take over a power plant, but fail.)

Omniman: Dammit dammit dammit!

Shadowman: They're isolating me from the team, but at least I've been promoted to lieutenant commander. Damn, how will I beat the General? HOW!?

Cleaveman: Hey ... come on! I've come to join the RPD! (Is placed under arrest.)

Shadowman: We're gonna attack a Scissor Army Communications center. Let's try to be stealthy about this.

(Heatman joins the RPD)

Shadowman: Because it makes a lot more sense than him running off immediately to the Scissor Army.

Heatman: I'm getting tired of this life ...

Needlegal: Whiner.

(San Diego is a place with a beach. Now it is a smoldering war zone.)

Chimeraman: I AM FUCKING AWSOME NOW! (Easily deals with Wily's minions.)

(Wily's Warriors nearly crap themselves.)

Shadowman: I got these perfect disguises for us. We turn into Scissor Joes with the same vaguely-defined technology that allows humans to transform into Robot Masters and stuff. It's like how the community member "Hadrian" became "Hardman" for example.

Snakeman: Needless technical explanations are needless.

Shadowman: Shut up, I'm filling in plot holes with this. We used to do this sorta crap all the time in the epilogues! How many times did Lennon revert to his human form in past series? Same thing.

(The magic disguises try to make the Mechs brainwashed like real Scissor Joes and they're forced to abandon them.)

Snakeman: Well, those were fun while they lasted. Too bad Hard was killed while a Joe.

Shadowman: He wasn't doing anything important anyway. Now, while we sneak into this SA base, stealth is of the utmost-

Heatman: Come and get me, f**kers! Yaahh!

Shadowman: Dammit, Ben!

Needlegal: Did your impromptu hacking of the database give us anything interesting, bro?

Shadowman: I really don't know.

Needlegal: Foreshadowing!

(Heat and Chimera have an epic battle.)

Chimeraman: I will show you true power!

Heatman: Punitus Infirmus!


Shadowman: We can still blow up the reactor. I've put in a special virus that will -

Quickman: Not if we blow it up faster!

Shadowman: Why would you?

Quickman: I think you mean, "Why did you?"

Computer Voice: Namek The Base will explode...in FIVE MINUTES.

Flashman: With my Flash Stopper, that only gives us ten minutes! Plus another ten for dramatic effect!

WW/MM3: Let's get out of here!

Snakeman: Not so fast. Our teams have to fight a bit first.

(They fight)

Snakeman: Good, now let's get out of here!

Everyone: But Ben is still inside! Noooo!

(Kaboom)

Quickman: *voice cracking* Ben is dead...and it's all my fault!

Shadowman: (going over the files he stole) Schematics on General Cutman? Hm. And what's this other thing? Looks like part of something bigger. Double hm ... And a prototype genius chip design, eh? Hm. I wonder.

(Omniman proves that he's very gullible...)

Skullman: Trust me ... trust me ...

Omniman: Such honest eyes. I think I like Skullman. I mean, if you can't trust a robot based on death and who joined another side in a war, who can you trust, right?

Golemman: Um, Omni? I think you were tricked.

Omniman: What? Tricked!?

Skullman: Sorry. Had to. But I'm sorry.

Omniman: Such honest eyes ...

(The Wily Rescue Force get help from the Cossack faction to secure a nuclear weapon...)

Doc Robot: Morons.

Expressman: Aren't you in another Scenario tailing Spark Chan?

Doc Robot: ... Multiman's power?

Expressman: Works fer me.

(Spark Chan adjust to being on Wily's side.)

Boy: My name's Benny.

Spark Chan: What an amazing coincidence! One of my bestest friends is named Benjamin! I'm gonna do as much good here on Wily's side as possible!

Doc Robot: ... I hate you.

General Cutman: Comeon, Class. Join the Dark Side!

Shoryu: I did!

Spark Chan: Shoryu! I told you never to talk to strangers!

General Cutman: Can I help it if I'm adorable? The kids love me!

Doc Robot: Spark Chan's talking with General Cutman!? I knew she was no good.

Benny: I hate robots! You killed my mom!

Spark Chan: Oh, now I feel even more terrible than ever.

Quickman: Hey, I'm Quickman! I feel like crap too because my pal Ben died, but I'm sure we'll be able to cheer each other up.

Spark Chan: Ben's dead!? Aw, I feel even more terrible!

Quickman: Sorry.

Spark Chan: You know what, though? I think we can make this place work. Influence Wily a bit ...

Wily: (sporting an accent again) I hate zat child! Get rid ov him!

Spark Chan: (Pouts her lips) pwwwweeeeease lemme keep him.

Wily: Oh, vell ... alvight.

Mesmerman: Do you know my name?

General Cutman: Of course I know your name!

Mesmerman: I've created Siege Joes based on an old subordinate of mine - Seigema'am!

Siege Joe: Wassup?

Mesmerman:Based on Syne co.'s designs. It used to be a shell for humans but now it has our Scissor Joes in it!

General Cutman: Just so long as they aren't the incompetent Joes non-Mech writers use I'm all for 'em!

Mesmerman: The previously head-mounted Siege Buster, which I always thought was a ridiculous weapon anyway, has been replaced by an ECM/ECCM suite which -

General Cutman: People will just write them however they want to, so there's no need for those details. (fingers twitch a bit.)

Gaderham: We found some stuff on ??? and Mesmerman. A bunch of bodies piled up on each other and a letter with a pirate drinking song addressed to Vincent Williamson.

Cassandra: I see what this is. It's an elaborate clue. The first part of the song talk about how everyone died fighting over this treasure. There's a verse after all that which talks about a woman who'd been aboard the vessel who'd also been killed. Stabbed in the heart, I think. I don't know how that helps... It could be the song is supposed to refer to how General Cutman and Mesmerman basically stole the collected resources of Gavel Arms, but something tells me that isn't right either.

Gaderham: You know, people were oddly helpful at Syne Co. And they're production levels with regards to cybernetic research and applicable technology production have nearly doubled. Without anything changing. NOTHING has changed at Syne Co in the last four years! No personnel changes, no grant requests, not even a new mission statement. It's been the same company for FOUR YEARS. Unfortunately it's partially owned by the government, so it's hard to check up on further. Damn government.

Cassandra: I hate the government.

Shadowman: I've been so much more productive since I eliminated sleep from my routine! I actually built that mystery blueprint we found in the last adventure.

Hardman: Uh, boss, maybe you shouldn't turn dat thing on ...

Shadowman: I'm gonna turn it on.

(It explodes and blows off pieces of Shadowman.)

Shadowman: Why did you people let me turn it on!?

(In the smoldering War Zone of Madrid, Protoman runs from the 7M. Some of the Evil Eight are also there.)

Warman: Warman loves war! Warman loves War!

Spinman: Maybe now wasn't the best time to split up ...

Clawman: Are you joking? Now was the best time to split up! We'll get to prove how awesome. we are without all that dead weight dragging us down.

Protoman: Curses, I'm a sitting duck by myself. My only hope is to do the one thing I had sworn never to do: betray my aloof loner status and ask for help.

(The Maniacs go to find him. Meanwhile Shadowman begins acting restless, irritable, and obsessive. He also starts to look suspiciously like Bizarro Shadowman.)

Snakeman: Um, are you alright, Gauntlet?

Shadowman: I am perfectly normal! Leave me alone! I've got to obsess about beating and spiting General Cutman, don't I?! And while I'm at it I'll remind you all that the RPD cannot be trusted, so I've built jamming devices to stop them. And don't question my brilliant orders!

Needlegal: Well, the obsession and paranoia is normal.

Shadowman: I've also created Neo Officers. Police Bots with a few designs. inspired by the Scissor Army Joes.

Needlegal: The designing robots thing is new, but helpful. I say nothing's wrong.

Hardman: Good 'nuff fer me. Hey, there's Spinman. 'sup, Spin?

Spinman: (Badly shaken) We were all set to join the Scissor Army, but ... they just laughed! We were overrun by Joes. Claw and War didn't make it ... Warman's body kept on goin' even after his head was blown off. He went out just like he always wanted. It's nice to see reasonable people here. Maybe -

(Shadowman mercilessly kills Spinman.)

Shadowman: Loser.

Ringman: Protoman, you're coming with me. Wily wants you for some reason. He probably just wants your nuclear core. I don't really care, to be honest.

Protoman: You'll be in trouble when the Mechs come to help me.

Ringman: They're busy fighting the 7M. They won't be helping you.

Protoman: How useless! I won't be teaming up with them, that's for sure. I'll just have to escape on my own then.

Needlegal: Hey! It's Ringman!

Ringman: Aw, come on! Do you really wanna bring me in? Just lemme go. You won't regret it!

Needlegal: Aw, why not?

Hardman: A'right! Me vs. Hyper Storm! Finally, a showdown o' th' big burly guys!

Hyper Storm: Yeah! Except I'm small and skinny.

Hardman: ...wait, what?

Hyper Storm: And I have a sword!

Snakeman: Shad, it's great that we're winning because you're hacking the enemy's brains and making our own troops into suicide bombers and all, but I'm worried that you're becoming slightly insane and evil.

Shadowman: Trust me, I knew what I was doing when I installed General Cutman's Genius Chip into myself. I'm not evil or insane at all.

(Shadowman tries to kill his friends and family. Then Topman comes out of nowhere and Top Spins some sense into him)

Topman: Well, until my next cameo, we are...the Mechanical Maniacs!

(Shadowman has the genius chip removed and is repaired bringing him totally back to normal.)

Shadowman: All's well that ends well.

Crorq: (Throws a chile dog at Shadowman) Oh, you idiot! All the officers we sent you are malfunctioning, Protoman escaped, the area was destroyed despite your presence, we learned nothing new, and you had a nervous breakdown to top it all off! From now on you're on a short leash.

Amatista: Step out of line. Go on. I want you to.

Needlegal: Dammit.

(Constance meets up with Mesmerman disguised as a boy.)

Constance: Must find Dr. Light.

Mesmerman (in disguise): Maybe we can help each other. I want to keep Megaman out of the War for as long as possible and you want repairs.

Constance: Cannot allow this unit to find Megaman. Must take complete control.

Topman: You suck, Landigarm!

Landigarm: Aw, I do suck ...

Mesmerman (in disguise): Hey, Tops, wanna hang out?

Topman: You're not fooling anyone. Go away.

Mesmerman (in disguise): That cyborg is out of my care right now, by the way. Wanna join the Scissor Army?

Topman: No. Go away.

Mesmerman (in disguise): My, what a pleasant a cordial chat we've had.

Gaderham: Quit stalking Topman, Landigarm.

Landigarm: But, sir, he's the only Mech not actively writing! If I don't stalk him, he won't be in the story at all!

Gaderham: I don't care, just knock it off!

Gag: Cassandra's gone missing! Aw, Dad's gonna kill me.

Landigarm: I've finally caught up with the mystery Scissor Joe killer! Finally!

Gaderham: Wow! Good work! I'm ... incredibly surprised.

Landigarm: ... you don't have to be that surprised.

(Constance dashes off and the RPD follow.)

Mesmerman: Good job on escaping! Meet my friend Topman!

Topman: I'm not your friend, damn it.

Mesmerman: But - but we hang out all the time!

Topman: Hey, I recognize that mysterious cyborg! Cassandra!?

Constance: (???)

(It turns out Constance is leftover AI from Cassandra's time as Seigema'am in Hardman's Bar!)

Topman: Yer a jackass, Mesmerman. Let's team up, Cassandra.

Constance: (It's Constance now. But, sure. You're better than Mesmerman so I'm up for a team up.)

Mesmerman: Why doesn't anyone like me?

Topman: Oh, gee, i wonder?

Mesmerman: Pleased to meet you, I hope you guess my name... Because what's puzzling you is the nature of my game.

To be continued ...

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