Annihilation

The Delinquent Challenge

"Damn I'm bored..." Jeremy said, as he stretched out on the 'Sofa', which was in reality a slab of cement covered in a plastic sofa cover. They lived in a warehouse, but while he lie there, he tried to forget where he was. "This place has got to the single most boring place in the city."

"...But we do live in the city." Nijubu chimed in, somber yet cheerful as always. He was sitting on his 'Bed' which was consequently another slab of cement, only this time covered in a quilt he had. "It could be worse. We could be stuck living in the Russian Wastelands. If that Kalinka had done what she wanted, we would be there right now."

"But still... it's so boring... Even with our own personal servers. We don't even have real beds!" Matt said angrily." His bed was slightly more comfortable than the others. It was a blanket inside of a rolled over rug, which he slept in on the floor.

"We need to get out of this place for a little bit. It's taken a huge toll on our morale." Jeremy replied.

"What morale? We have no morale! There's no point to having moral. We live in a warehouse and put fabric on top of cement to make it feel more like a house!"

"My point exactly. We really gotta do something to take our mind off this shit hole." Jeremy said, still trying to forget that he was in a warehouse. "How about we commit some crimes or something, that's always fun."

"Or maybe a contest. I could use something to win in." Matt said, fondly remembering past contests he had won.

"...Or a crime-commiting contest!" Nij said, unusually cheerful for the moment.

"That has got to be the lamest idea I have ever heard." Jake butted in.

"You got any ideas?"

"...not really..."

"The shut it. Well, lets divide into teams. Me, Stu, and Johnny, and you three."

"Speaking of that, where the hell are Stuart and Johnny?" Nij motioned behind him, where he saw a figure wrapped up in some blankets on forklift bed. "That explains Stuart, but where did that dang Kitty boy go off to?" Nij pointed straight up, with a solemn face.

"Wait... you don't mean that..." the words came hard to Matt. "He didn't....die....did he?"

"Of course not, he's on the roof. He does sleep there, you know."

"Oh... yeah... I knew that."

"Anyway, wake them up," Jeremy said smiling. "In one hour, meet back here. The most crimes wins!"

* * *

"So... what do we do now?" Johnny asked

"Hmmm.... let's try robbing an ATM. That should be easy." Nijubu said as he heads over to the Wal-mart across the street. The other two follow him as he walks up to the drive-thru ATM in the parking lot.

"Out of money...please try another SuperBank ATM in a location near you. Have a nice day." Stuart chuckled as he read aloud the sign hanging off of it. "Looks like that crimes out. What next?"

"Well, theres always Grand theft Auto." Nij said brightly. They started out across the parking lot, looking for a car to steal. Suddenly, Johnny's eyes lit up.

"That car!" Johnny said ecstatically. "Pick that car, pick that car, pick that car!!!" Johnny pointed at a red car with flame decals. Upon closer inspection, the red color was actually rust, and all the windows had been busted out.

"No. Even I have standards when it comes to Grand Theft."

"Can we please! Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease!!!!!"

"Okay, if you cooperate the rest of the time, we can steal this car."

"YAY!!!!!" Johhny yelled as he ran circles around the car. He started singing. "We're gonna steal a carrr! We're gonna steal a carrrrr!" Suddenly, a man walked up.

"Excuse me sir, did I hear you correctly?" The man said as he walked up to Johnny, still singing.

"Well, if you heard me sing 'We're going to steal this car', you heard absolutely corre"

"I'm sorry sir, he's just making a joke." Nij said as he kicked Johnny out of the way. "Of course we aren't going to steal this car. Would you by chance be the owner of this mighty fine vehicle?" He said, trying his best to pull off a weak smile.

"Not anymore. It's yours." He said, pulling out the keys. "I've been trying to get rid of this piece of junk for years! Take care of her." The man walked away, skipping an whistling happily.

"I don't believe this! First, the ATM we were going to rob was out of money. Then, moron over there," He said pointing at Johnny, "Stole a handful of free samples. Now, we try to steal a ratty old car, and the guy's gave it to us free!"

"Rather coincidental." Stuart said laughing. "Makes you wonder if we can commit anything right today."

"I know one crime that we can't mess up..."

* * *

"Wow... that's a REAL fine case of Grand theft auto we pulled there." Matt said sarcastically. "I mean, what better way than to skip the turning the engine on, and just cut right to the moving it part. I mean, especially since WE LIVE IN THE SAME PLACE! There was no crime in that!"

"Of course there was crime in that! I was on the motorcycle, and it moved, right? Isn't that basically driving it?" Jeremy yelled back.

"No. No, it isn't. There was no driving in that! There was no crime in that! There was nothing in that! We just wasted a half hour pushing you on a damn motorcycle around a parking lot! Where was the crime? Huh?"

"It was in the me driving it around, you little prep. If we left it up to you, you would have probably bought a whole new one."

"Your just jealous because I can afford to buy soda occasionally, while you have to mooch off everyone else!" As the two started fighting, Jake rolled his eyes and went in search of some crime they could all agree on. As he walked around, he found 10 worn lawn chairs in the backyard of a boarded up house. "Another benefit of living in the bad side of town." He thought to himself.

"I AM NOT A HENTAI FREAK YOU FUC..." Matt screamed out, right as Jake yelled over at them.

"Yo, Guys. I found some sweet chairs over here we can boost." Jeremy and Matt both turned and ran over to the house, forgetting their argument.

"Wow... real chairs!" Jeremy said as he sat down in one. It was so comfortable... until it broke out from under him. He lay there in a pile of broken plastic, in the backyard of an abandoned house. "Hmmm... let's try this one!" He said as he sat in another one. "Seems to be a little more stabl..." he said as yet another chair broke. 5 minutes and 3 chairs later, he had finally found one that supported him. "Finally, a chair that works."

"Nice one, fatass. You just ruined 5 chairs." Matt said. While Jeremy had had some minor difficulties finding a stable chair, Jake and Matt had instantly found them. "Let's just hork this stuff and get back to the warehouse. Time's almost up."

* * *

"Okay, time to show who the real winners are." Jeremy said with a smirk.Nijubu smiled back.

"2 counts of arson, 5 counts of property destruction, and 1 count of grand theft auto." Jeremy said defiently.

"Also known as lighting two plants on fire, breaking five lawn chairs, and pushing Nij's motorcycle around the parking lot." Matt added dryly.

"Hey, that motorcycle was damn heavy!"

"How would you know, you got on it an acted like you were racing around." Jake said. Everyone laughed.

"It was heavy with your fat ass on it though." Matt said, laughing.

"So, what did you guys get?" Jeremy said, still blushing.

"30 counts of J-walking. Take that!" He stuck out his tongue.

"And 1 count of prostitution." Johnny sheepishly added in.

"Wow..." Matt said, cringing. "I soooo did not need to hear that."

"Don't be jealous just 'cause some of us are sexy by nature." Johnny said, doing a pose. "Some of us can't help it!"

"Wow... just wow..."

"That's so... no. No." Jeremy yelled as he ran to the sink. "Please excuse me while I rinse out my eyeballs."

"What's his problem?" Johhny inquired at Nij.

"Just think about it. Prostitute Kitty Boy... sounds like some kinda freaky hentai. I actually think I've seen that one before."

"I am not a kitty boy!" Johhny said, pouting.

"Just keep telling yourself that."

The End

Stories main

Affiliates

Blyka's Door
E-Can Factory
MMAyla
MM BN Chrono X
MM PC Website
Protodude's RM Corner
Reploid Research Lavatory
RM AMV Station
RM EXE Online
RM EXE Zone
RM:Perfect Memories
Sprites INC