Annihilation
"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"
A hideous laugh filled the air in the small laboratory in a small villa in Sharo. "I have finally done it!!! I can now fuse NetNavis and Programs together!!! They shall be invincible!!!"
"Umm, Doctor Cossack?" A petite voice of reason came from inside a Personal Terminal, or PET. It was Dr. Cossacks personal Navi, DustMan.exe. "Weren't you trying to create a way for a human to go into the net and fuse with a net navi, like an improvement on Sci-Lab's Pulse Transmission System?"
Cossack lifted up his PET to look the navi in the eyes. "Yes, yes I was. But that's too hard for me, so I'm going to start with this and work my way up. Now get ready to fuse with the house cleaning program."
DustMan looked over at the house cleaning program, who was trying to clean up some of Dustman's dust. "Umm, are you sure that a program that cleans should be merged with a navi that makes messes?"
"Who's the mad scientist here?" Cossack got ready to throw the PET.
"Don't hurt me!!!" Dustman started crying in his arms. Cossack threw his PET at the door, but at that exact moment, Kalinka walked into the room, catching DustMan.exe.
"Dad, how many times do I have to tell you? No throwing toys in the house!!" She yelled at her dad, proving who the dominant member of the household was.
"THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH, MOMMY!!!" The Navi cried for being saved.
"Don't be such a crybaby, Dust." Ringman.exe called out from inside his PET on Kalinka's hip.
"He started it...." Dr. Cossack mumbled.
"What's wrong now?" Kalinka sighed.
"DustMan wont let me experiment on him!" Cossack tattled.
"How many times do I need to tell you, anytime you want to experiment on something, just put an ad in the paper and when it comes time to pay, turn on the Knock-Out Gas and just drag their bodies into the Sharoan wasteland!" Kalinka explained, for what it felt to her, the thousandth time.
"Oh, I forgot...." Cossack admitted. Kalinka walked over to the closest computer and got Ringman off her side.
"Ringman, go to the Yoka Square message board and post 'Wanted: Test Subjects to help bring out a new chapter in history. Pays fifty zenny an hour.
"Yes, ma'am." Ringman nodded in agreement.
"Jack in: Ringman.EXE Execute!!" Kalinka yelled in a typical Lan-like way as she plugged her PET into her computer. As soon as the connection was finished, Ringman was in Yoka Square. He walked up to the message board and started typing away.
* * *
Ding dong! The doorbell went off at Noon. When Kalinka answered the door, there stood six teenagers with PETs in hand.
"Hey," The one standing closest to her stepped up, "Is this the Cossack re...."
Before any more could be said, that kid was smacked out of the way by another, "We were looking for the Cossack lab, but I think we found heaven." He flirted, "I'm Johnny, and what name is beautiful enough to fit you?"
Kalinka stared at him in disbelief. "Ummmm, Kalinka Cossack..."
Johnny went on down on one knee, gently kissing Kalinka's hand. But before he got any further, he got a foot to the chin.
"Johnny shut up! She's the person who's paying us's daughter." The kid who was cut off before smacked Johnny, "I'm Jeremy, is your father ready to get ripped off...I mean, is he ready to begin the experiment?" Jeremy looked around as if he never made the 'ripped off' comment.
"He's down in the lab. Follow me." Kalinka said and turned around and started leading everyone down the big, white hall.
"Oh yeah, shake that A..." Johnny's navi was cut off.
"As I was saying," Kalinka gave Johnny, whom she thought said that, a dirty look. "You'll be paid after the experiment is over. Any side effects and/or death cannot be blamed on us. For a complete set of rules, regulations, and what we plan on doing with your corpses, please call 1-800-SUX-2-BE-U, that's 1-800-789-2238. Any questions?"
Johnny raised his hand, but his navi yet again cut him off, "Are those real?"
Everyone started walking into the auditorium where Dr. Cossack was conducting the experiment. Kalinka stopped Johnny and held him back last.
"By the way, they're real and they're great!" Kalinka then shoved Johnny into the room and slammed the door on his toe.
* * *
Dr. Cossack started his long, boring speech using words nobody knew were real or not. After about two hours, Cossack slammed his pointer into the wall, waking everyone up. "Do you understand what we're trying to accomplish here today?"
Jeremy looked around, "Umm, of course. That one part about that thing got a little confusing, but I got the general drift." An anonymous henchman then walked in and started handing out a program.
"Now, upload the program into your PET." Everyone did like Cossack told them. The program named 'Hybrid' successfully uploaded onto everyone's PET.
"Now everyone, Jack into the main monitor. There, your Navi's will find a program each. Have your Navi walk up to the Program, so they are in physical contact, then turn the Hybrid program on. Understand?" Cossack looked around the room, to see all the operators anxious to get going already. "Now then, everyone..."
"Not so fast, you're forgetting someone!" A voice came from outside. The doors burst open to reveal, "The One, The Only, The Incredible Mister Famous!!!" He screamed while doing his famous pose.
"Mister Famous?" Cossack looked at him strangely, "Never heard of you." Mister Famous fell in a very typical anime way.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU NEVER HEARD OF ME!!!! I'm one of the best net-battlers ever!!! I even have my own NetNavi I created!" Mister Famous yelled.
"Why don't you show him how good you are?" Jeremy smirked, "By Net-Battling me!"
"I can never turn down a net-battle! So lets begin!" Mister Famous Walked down to the main monitor and pulled out his PET. "Jack in, Punk.EXE execute!"
"Jack in, Havoc.exe execute!" Jeremy followed in procedure.
The two navi's stood waiting for the battle to start. Suddenly, the words 'Battle Start' flashed across. Punk started off by ducking into his enormous shoulder guards, turning into a rolling ball of destruction. He bowled over his opponent.
"Oh yeah?" Jeremy yelled, "Battle Chip Mode: ZapRing1 *. Slot In!" Jeremy put his battle chip in. Havoc jumped out of the way and tried transforming his hand, but nothing happed. However, Punk sensed an assault and activated his counterattack anyway, ducking behind his shield and using his extendable arm to strike Havoc from behind.
"WHAT!?!" Jeremy yelled, "Why didn't that work? Battle Chip Mode:BambSwrd W. Slot-in!" Still, nothing happened.
Cossack broke in, "No battle chips will work while you have the Hybrid Program on. I made it that way so we can see the navi's fused power without the help of chips." He stated this like it was nothing.
"WHAT!?!?!?!" Jeremy yelled, trying to turn off the Hybrid program before Punk landed the final blow. After a few tries, Jeremy got an idea.
"Program Activate! Hybrid GO!!!"
A bright light filled the room. As soon as it died down, the two navis were standing in opposite positions than they were a few seconds ago.
"Punk, status report. What's your HP level?" Mister Famous barked at the screen.
"Havoc, you ok?" Jeremy looked at his mass-production type navi.
"HP level: 60%." Havoc said.
"Actually, I'm feeling even stronger then ever?" Punk looked around and saw Havoc, right as Havoc turned and saw Punk.
"AHHHHH" Both Navi's yelled at each other, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY BODY!?!" Jeremy and Mister Famous looked at each other.
"Havoc, Jack out." Jeremy tried, but nothing happed. "Punk, Jack Out." He tried, this time Punk appered on his PET's screen.
"DUDE!!" Punk said, "We stole Famous's navi! We rock!"
"DUDE! YEAH!" Jeremy said, "Lets kick his butt now. Jack In, Punk.exe execute!"
A dark laugh bellowed from inside Punk as he landed on the battlefield.
"Mr. Famous, sir! Log me out!!!" Havoc screamed.
"Separate Shoulders! Screw Crusher Combo!." Punk yelled and threw his shoulder disks out. One of the disks made a direct hit, then Punk himself gave the final hit, deleting his former body.
"NOOOO!!!" Mister Famous yelled, "GIVE ME BACK MY NAVI!!!!"
"Why don't we have a little fun, Punk." Jeremy gave a dark smile, "Punk, destroy!"
"YEAH!!" Punk yelled as he tucked into his wrecking ball mode and started destroying the lab's computer system. The lights in the real world began to fizz in and out, Bunsen Burners suddenly turned on. Cossack ducked for cover. Famous dashed out of the lab shoutin something about 'Justice will be served!' but nobody heard him over the sounds of the explosions in the cyberworld.
"With this great power, we could take over the world!!!" Jeremy yelled.
"Naw," Punk said, "Its too much work trying to rule the world. You have to worry about famine, what to put on TV, what to do about nuclear missiles, what's actually inside of a hotdog, and what to do about uprisings. Way too much work."
"You're right." Jeremy said, "Lets just cause global chaos and destruction."
"Sounds good to me." One of the other testers said. "If the Hybrid program gave ya that power, then we have it too. The name's Jake."
Another boy stood up, "Sounds like fun. I'm in. The names Matt."
"Call me Nijubu." Another said.
"Stuart."
"And we all know I'm Johnny."
"Then together, we are the ACID HACKERS!!!" Jeremy yelled as everyone busted a pose. Everyone then plugged their PETs into the Net, searching for custom Navi's to take over.
* * *
Fifteen minutes later, the newly stolen NetNavis met back at Yoka Area1, by the water heater.
"Now then, who's who?" Punk asked.
"PlantMan reporting for duty. My operator is Stuart."
"Zazuu-Zwazahaa. Zozzu Zuwahazz. (I'm DesertMan now. Nij's my operator.)"
"The name's now BeastMan. Jake's the only thing that can tame me." Everyone then looked over at FlameMan, who was looking over the side and down into the lower part of the area down a female navi's shirt.
"ZwoZoo Zzooa (That's Johnny's.)" DesertMan mumbled in his own speech-like voice.
"Where's Matt's new navi?" BeastMan asked.
The lights suddenly shorted out, then came back within seconds. Everyone looked around, wondering what had happened, when they one by one spotted a blue navi leaning up against the railing.
"Looks like we have a visitor over there." Punk whispered, gesturing at the blue navi. "He seems to control the lights, so he could be dangerous. Proceed with caution."
"Good idea. You never know what he might do. HEY YOU OVER THERE! YEAH, YOU IN THE BLUE!" Flameman yelled out. The navi turned and looked at him, but said nothing.
"I wonder..." Jeremy thought aloud. "Punk, go over there and say what I this." Jeremy said and whispered something into his ear.
"Hey, blue guy, yeah. 2+2=99..."
" It's 2+2=5, you moron. If you'd loaded your head with brains rather than bricks, you could at least remember that." Matt interrupted.
"Zwoo Zwua Zuaaa ZuoZoo. (Looks like we found Matt)" Desertman chuckled.
"Who are you calling a moron, stupid pervert." Jeremy agitatedly said.
"I AM NOT A PERVERT YOU DIRTY STINKING HIPPIE!" Matt yelled back.
"DAMN EGOTISTICLE STUCK-UP BASTARD!"
"JUST BECAUSE I CAN AFFORD THE WALL I'M ABOUT TO SEND YOU THROUGH DOESN'T MAKE ME STUCK UP"
"At least I found someone for our cause." Flashman said as he sighed.
"What cause?" BeastMan asked.
"Be-cause!" Punk answered jokingly.
"Our first recruit." Flashman said and stepped to the side.
"Zaa Zeeze? (Umm, who?)" DesertMan mumbled.
"He is." Flashman answered.
"Is he your friend only you can see?" PlantMan mocked.
"See this, Nature boy." a voice said and jumped onto PlantMan's foot. "The name's BubbleMan, not Bubbles, not shorty, it's BubbleMan."
"Who's your operator?" Jake asked.
"Unlike you wussies, I don't need an operator." BubbleMan looked and BeastMan.
"No," FlameMan said, "You need to grow a few feet." FlameMan laughed. BubbleMan launched some Bubble Lead, putting out FlameMan's Flame.
"Oh, that's cold." FlameMan said.
FlashMan stepped in between them, "Stop the stupid arguments."
Back at the Lab, Cossack was calling the officials in.
"Yes, officials? Six kids and an independent NetNavi are trying to incite chaos and anarchy. Can you come and put a stop to them?" Cossack said, then the phone stopped working. He looked up to see the six Acid Hackers.
"You're not trying to spoil our fun, now are you?" Jeremy asked. "Acid Hackers, lets roll. We need to find an abandonned warehouse or something to make our base of operations."
* * *
A few hours later, Kalinka came home from the mall. She looked around at the auditorium, which was trashed.
"What the..." Ringman mumbled.
"Dad! Are you here?" Kalinka yelled.
"Doc!! Come out, come out wherever you are!" Ringman helped out.
"Help me..." A tired voice came from the broom closet. Kalinka rushed over there and opened the locked door, to find Doctor Cossack hog-tied inside.
"Oh my! Dad, what happened?" Kalinka gasped as she untied the old man.
"Those kids...They stole navis and ran away. Tied me up...take over hotdogs...Blubbly...Dance..."The old man rambled on.
"Wait here, I'll call the hospital." Kalinka said.
* * *
A few days later, the officials met with the doctor and his daughter.
"I'm sorry," Inspector Lee said, "There's nothing we can do. You made them sign a contract saying nothing that happened inside the boundaries of your property can be held against anyone involved in the experiment. My suggestion is to hire someone to deal with them. Now if you excuse me, I have a date tonight with a cute teacher."
The inspector left, meeting his partner in the hall and left. Kalinka looked over to her father. "Do you want to hire a gun?"
"Why would I hire a gun when what I need is a mercenary?" The doctor asked his daughter.
"A hired gun is a mercenary." She explained.
"Oh, then what I need is someone who'll do my dirty work for me." Cossack stated.
"Oh, just shut up." Kalinka slapped her forehead. She then walked over to the hospital's complementary computer and plugged Ringman in.
"Ringman, go find out how much a mercenary costs nowadays." She said to the navi on her screen.
Half an hour later, Ringman returned. "I talked to this navi guarding the Undernet and he said that he'll give me a deal, 5 million zenny for all seven of them!" Ringman reported, pleased with his bargaining skills.
"FIVE MILLION ZENNY!?!?" Cossack yelled, making all the newborns in the hospital cry.
"Mmmm, sir?" DustMan quietly said from his PET. Cossack violently grabbed his PET.
"What is it?" Cossack screamed.
"Please don't hurt me!!!" DustMan pleaded.
"Well, this is all your fault, if you'd just let me experiment on you, none of this would have happened!" Cossack yelled at the vacuum based Navi, who started crying.
"DAD, lets just hear what he was trying to say." Kalinka grabbed the PET away from her dad. "What did you want DustMan?"
"I...I.. I WANT MY MOMMY!" He still cried.
"You're a navi, you don't have a mother." Cossack mumbled.
"Oh, sweety." Kalinka, who was basically the 'mother' to the family navis, gave the PET a hug. "NOW, tell me what you were trying to say."
DustMan looked up at his 'mother', who was getting agitated. "I was just going to say...."
"YES..?" Kalinka got madder, and as every navi knows, don't get Kalinka mad.
"Why doesn't Doctor Cossack just tell a few kids that he'll make them like, superheroes that like, have to stop the Acid Hackers?"
"THAT'S BRILLIANT!!!" Cossack yelled, "I just got an idea!!"
"That is amazing." Kalinka said under her breath.
"I'll convince seven kids to come and join together to stop the Acid Hackers." Cossack took Dustman's idea, but then started dreaming, "We could get them a secret hideout, they'll also have hybrid navis. No! Wait! I think I can instead FUSE the two navis together if I change binary systems in the original programming. Oh, and we can make costumes, and have secret identities, and even a Cossack Mobile!!!"
"Wouldn't having a car named after you kinda defeat the whole secret identity thing?" Kalinka stated more then asked.
"TO THE COSSACK LAB!!!" Cossack yelled and ran off, still in his hospital gown.
* * *
Two lawsuits for public indecency later, Cossack finished the upgrades to the Hybrid program. Now all he needed was seven 'Defenders of Justice'. After a day of searching at the mall, the only progress that was made was three new outfits for Kalinka. Finally, they stopped at the arcade.
"Give it back!!" A little kid started crying as two teenagers held the kid's PET over his head.
"You forgot to say please." The teens mocked. Suddenly, a lasso tied the teen who was holding the PET's arms to his chest, dropping the PET.
"And you forgot your manners at home." They followed the rope with their eyes to the source, a cowboy wearing his hat and duster. "Hasn't your mommy said don't pick on kids smaller than yourself?"
The cowboy loosened the lasso enough so it went around the teen's legs. The Cowboy the tripped the teen, jumped over him, and tied his hands to his feet, in other words, hogtied.
The other teen then rushed the cowboy, but he was prepared. He swung his duster in the air, hitting the bully in the cheek with the leather duster. The cowboy then pulled out a squirt gun.
"Oh, a squirt gun, I'm so scared." The bully mocked. The cowboy then shot the bully, straight in the eyes.
"OUWH, my eyes!!" the bully yelled, but not for too long. The cowboy then landed a kick staight in the jaw, knocking him out. The cowboy picked up the PET and gave it back to the little boy.
"Wow, that was soo cool! Thanks, Cowboy." The kid said.
"No problem," The cowboy smiled, "By the way, you can call me David."
Cossack then walked up to David. "WOW, That was incredible! You were all like yeah, and they were all like wow, and then you were all yeah, and I was like WOW!" David just stared at Cossack strangely, then Cossack calmly asked, "How would you like to be a part of my team of superheroes?"
Kalinka walked up and pushed her dad away. "Sorry, he gets excited sometimes..." She blushed, "What he meant to say was we're looking for seven good net-battlers that are willing to help us take down six kids and an independent net navi from causing chaos and destruction. What do you think?"
David's stomach growled, answering his question. "Ummmm..." he trailed off.
"Free house and board, including free TV and Internet, plus you'll get a custom NetNavi!" She tried convincing him.
David's stomach growled again. Kalinka looked in disbelief. Then an idea hit her, "Plus, three meals a day!" She smiled innocently.
David's ears perked up. "Make it four and we have a deal!" He smiled innocently as well.
"DEAL." Cossack grabbed David's hand and shook it. "Do you know anyone else who'll want to help us out?"
David sat there thinking for a second. He then walked out into the middle of the crowded mall.
"MARCO!!!" David shouted at the top of his lungs.
"POLO!!!"
"POLO!!!"
"FETTITCHINIIIIII!!!!!!"
"Nani?"
"POLO!!!"
"POLO!!!"
David then yelled out again, " YOU GUYS WANT SOME FREE FOOD???"
"YEAH."
"SURE."
"POLO."
"MMMMM...FOOD."
"YOU SAID FREE, RIGHT?"
"I'M IN!"
David then turned back to Kalinka and Doctor Cossack. "You have your team."
David introduced his friends: Sam, Adrienne, Jonathan, Carlos, Cyros, and Moe.
* * *
Later that day, everyone met at Blue Jays.
"Hi, my name's Iris, I'll be your waitress. Can I offer you anything to drink?" The waitress stated. "Depends on who's paying." Moe said casually. All eight of them looked at Cossack."What, do I have something on my face?" He asked.
"Are you paying or what?" asked Carlos.
"Ummm, no?" He asked.
"Were you going to try to dine and dash?" Iris asked, pointing out their security force.
"Do you need help, Iris?" The one with long blonde hair asked.
"Not from you!" She snapped as he walked away poutfully. "What a zero! I got with Ben and now he's all jealous!"
"Fine, I'll pay, just make the cheesy easter eggs stop!" Cossack yelled!* * *
After a fine meal and many many easter eggs later, the team returned to Cossack's Lab.
"Alright," Cossack said, preparing for another long, scientific speech, "What we're going to do is...Yes?" he said to Sam.
"Why do scientists and other really smart people always have to tell us what they're doing by using really big words that no one understands or even thinks is a real word? Why don't they just DO it?"
Cossack looked down, "Because it's fun..." Kalinka came out and handed everyone the new and improved Hybrid program.
"Alright," Cossack announced, "Now, go onto the net and get your new Navi!"
* * *
After 12 minutes of waiting on David to find a navi, everyone was getting mad.
"MetalMan and I have been done for like twenty minutes, hurry up!" Cyros yelled.
"Dude, I've played KingMan in chess 3 times already! Hurry up!!!" Sam yelled.
"And I beat him every time!" KingMan added.
Moe stared at his PET as he attempted to become more familiar with Drillman's space-tunneling ability. "Rest assured, if this takes much longer, you'll be the first one I test Drillman's fighting power on."BowlMan and YamatoMan started bowling with each other.
"Hey Yamato," Carlos yelled, "Striking Spear!"
"Striking Spear!!" YamatoMan yelled as he used his spear to destroy nine of the ten pins.
"Our turn!" Jonathan said.
"Strike!!" BowlMan yelled, hitting every pin, and making them fly back, almost hitting YamatoMan.
"DONE!!!" David yelled.
"Finally..." everyone complained.
"Who'd ya get? MistMan?" Sam asked. David just smiled and held up his PET.
"Wow..." Carlos said sarcastically, scratching his nose.
"HOLY GOAT NIPPLES!" Adrienne remarked.
"Impressive..." Moe commented."It's..." Cyros stuttered.
"Serenade!!!" Jonathan finally said.
"I am sorry to have failed you master." Came a haunting voice. It was that of Darklady, Adrienne's navi. There she was, kneeling in front of her former master. "I shall retain my position, if you wish it." She humbly said.
"Dark...Man? What the hell happened to you?!?!" Serenade stared confused.
Adrienne chuckled. "Guilty as charged. I basically had to break his programming down completely so it could effectively merge with my navi. By the way, don't get too used to her calling you 'master' and kneeling in front of you. I'm hard at work giving her a more independent personality."
Darklady had already gotten to her feet, shook her head, then backed away from a bewildered Serenade with a sudden look of contempt. Serenade sighed, then spotted Yamatoman. "Yamatoman! My friend, I see you have been called here as well." Serenade approached Yamato to greet him when Yamato suddenly butted him in the stomach with the blunt end of his spear.
Carlos chuckled. "Sorry Ganguroboi, no navi of mine is going to be servant to the navi of a cowboy."
Yamatoman concurred. "Next time, you will meet with the sharp end."
Serenade clutched his stomach and sighed. "Well so much for retaining my stature..."
Cossack looked at David's PET. "Did the fusion weaken him any?"
"I feel as strong as ever, except now I have a craving for Cocoa Puffs." Serenade said. Kalinka then walked in with a nicely dressed man.
"Dad, the Real Estate agent is here!!" Kalinka yelled.
"The Real Estate agent for what?" Sam asked.
"What," Cossack said, "Did you think you were going to stay here with us? Heck NO!"
"My names Danny. And I just wanted to let you know, I've worked with Superhero's before." He introduced himself.
"Like who?" Jon inquired.
"Like The Green Arrow."
"oooohhh"
"The Avengers: West Coast."
"Ahhhhh"
"And Mel Gibson."
"WOW!" Everyone yelled.
"Fu(heh), I've worked with Kamen Riders, Kikaider, even the great Sonny Chiba..."Carlos muttered to himself.
Cossack cleared his throat to get everyone's attention. "We're looking for something in this price range." he said, handing the man a piece of paper.
"Ah, I think I have a few things within that range." Danny reached into his briefcase and pulled out a picture of a huge, 30 acre gothic mansion complete with Olympic size swimming pool, hidden cave enterable through the library, private air strip, and beautiful garden.
"WOW!! All that for.... That price?" Cossack asked.
"No, of course not." Danny said, "Do you see that bridge, next to the all-marble ballroom?""No?" Sam said, confused.
"Here, here's a magnifying glass." Danny handed it to Sam. "You'll have to share it with the dogs when it rains, but on the bright side, you can also make a living as a Troll!"
Danny pulled out another picture, this one of the inside of a studio apartment. "It has a kitchen, a shower, and a washer and dryer. Plus I'll throw in a free closet bed. On the downside, it's on top of a doughnut shop that puts all extra fresh doughnuts up there."
"WE'LL TAKE IT!!!!!!" Everyone yelled almost in harmony.* * *
Within the hour, the deal was closed. (Don't you wish real estate really moved that fast?) The seven guys hung shower curtains everywhere making spacious rooms. Doctor Cossack even gave them their own big screen TV along with one of the biggest computers available.
"Wow, all this for nothing." Moe said.
"Weren't you paying attention?" Kalinka asked, "You're supposed to stop the Acid Hackers from causing world-wide havoc."
"Heh, that part's half the fun." Moe made a rare smile.
"Well, at least we all have strong Navis, free food, a roof over our head and most importantly, the opportunity and willingness to help....ourselves to FREE DOUGHNUTS!!!!!!" David started stuffing his face. "Man, being a Net Guardian's gonna ROCK!!!"
Kalinka looked over at her dad, who had a puzzled look on his face. "Are you alright Dad?"
"Yes, but something bothers me:
Annihilation
The Good... The Bad... and a few other things we just threw in
