WWWe're Baaaack~
By Nijubu (Desertman)

The year is 200X.

Where that X came from is anybody's guess. Maybe sometime this decade we'll start using a different calendar system that incorporates the alphabet, or something. Who the hell knows? That's not important.

The world's machines are joined in a worldwide network.

The Internet?

But there is a dark side to this convenience as well:


Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg bacon and spam; egg bacon sausage and spam; spam bacon sausage and spam; spam egg spam spam bacon and spam; spam sausage spam spam bacon spam tomato and spam...

...Okay, maybe not. Nij here, with the first section of the Official Annihilation.EXE Battle Network 3 Guide! Yeah. Let's get this party started.

Long story short, the game opens when Lan and his classmates go on a fieldtrip to the new Virus Lab at SciLab. After gawking around a bit, Lan goes to talk to everyone in the room for the hell of it (Dex seems strangely interested in parasols) before they get down to business and are instructed in the glorious ways of virus busting. Again. You'd think they would learn something from the first two times. Just follow the nice hippie's—er—scientist's instructions and you should be fine. When the lesson is finished, Yai suggests that everyone meet for a chat later that evening. Talk to her when you get back to the classroom. If you jack into the classroom's chalkboard before leaving, though, you can find a RegUp upgrade, adding a single megabyte to your maximum Regular System memory. Goody for you. You can explore the school a bit if you like (what IS it with these people and parasols?), before heading to the park. Before anything can get said and done, however, a guy in a stylish bright red cowboy hat shows up. It seems that the local TV station, DNN, is holding a tournament called the N1 Grand Prix to find the city's top netbattler, and they're searching for elementary students to take part. Pfft. Haven't these people learned from the last two times Lan saved the world?
As usual, you can jack into Lan's doghouse. There's a Barrier L inside. You can also jack into Lan's friends' PCs for more goodies, but we'll get to each of them later on.
Go home, jack into your computer, and follow the Yellow Virtual Brick Road to ACDC square, picking up any Mystery Data along the way.

Once in the Square, look around, check the boards and the shops, and talk to the green navi in the right corner to join those Prelims. From here, it's a simple game of true or false. Scream YES! at the top of your lungs, read the question carefully, and then head out to find either the X or O data.

First question: Hm. Okay, they're not really questions, per se, they're more like statements that may or may not be true (or false). That may or may not be false. Or true. Yeah. Where was I? Oh.

First Statement That May Or May Not Be True Or False: Oh, forget it, I'll just call them questions.

First Question: Red means "Stop." Duh. True. Head back through the warp to ACDC 3, then take a u-turn at the top of the ramp and go past Roll and Mr. Green Squirrel Thing till you pick up the Big O (ha), and head back.

Deuxième Question: A ton of lead is heavier than a ton of feathers. A bit of a brain teaser here. A ton of anything would weigh the same as a ton of anything else. So lead and feathers would weigh the same, and the question gets a big old fat X for False. Follow the Yellow Virtual Brick Road back to ACDC 2, then take the first right and snag the X. Come to think of it, I wouldn't mind snagging X, myself. Grr, baby.

Tercera Pregunta: Adding every number from 1 to 10 gives 54. I've actually memorized what adding 1-10 equals (don't ask why, 55), and it's false. Head all the way back to ACDC 1. Don't just jack out and go back in, since 1) that's the easy way out, and 2) you'll need the Zenny, the chips, and the battle experience, you young whippersnapper. Take the Yellow Virtual Brick Road (again) aaaaall the way back to just before the entrance to your homepage, get the X chip behind the cute little floating Prog, and return.

There. Now wasn't that a lot of fun, travelling back and forth across the Net? Of course not. But get used to it, you'll be doing a lot of that later on. Now that that's over and done with (for now), Lan and his friends can FINALLY get down to that chat thing they've been planning all afternoon. After supper. Once you jack out, go eat dinner and jump right back in. Head down the YVBR (I'll just abbreviate the damn thing from now on) to ACDC 2; take the first left, and using the passcode Glyde handed out after the Prelim, go through the security cube in front of the bright orange area to Yai's page.
Before approaching the group, head to the southmost corner to grab a RegUp2. The northern corner has a SideGun S. Go talk to Glyde once you're finished robbing his teacup.
Glyde: "Shall we begin?"

What is this, a stockbrokers meeting? Maybe they're doing some inside trading with Enron, or something. Whatever.

One hour later...

Yai: "It's getting late."

Yeah, no shit. You've been talking for a freakin hour. As it turns out, neither Lan nor Dex did his homework. Oh, joy. Somehow the kids get the idea of sneaking into school at night to save Dex's ass.

Mayl: "I always wanted to see the school at night!"

Why? You see it enough during the day. Anyway, after jacking out, head to the school gates at the northeast of town (gates locked, key needed), then head right back to Lan's PC and jack back in. See? There's that travelling back and forth bit again. Suck it in and head to ACDC 2. (If you like, you can head to Mayl's, Yai's, and Dex's PCs now to pick up whatever chips you find lying around there.) Follow the YVBR to the large white area with the sleeping green navi and suspicious large floaty greenish key-like thing. As for the guard:

Mega: "Looks like he's taking a nap."

Lan: "That's great! Just be careful not to wake him up!"

Good idea. Just switch off the lock, and—


...Dumbass. *Sigh* Ignore Mayl's mail (it's just some ominous portent of doom) and return to the school, heading up to the kids' classroom. After three flashbacks, check the green cage in the corner of the room to get Dex's disk. Great job, now to just haul a—What was that noise? Hm. Probably nothing.

Yai: "Why do I have this bad feeling...?"

I dunno. It probably doesn't have anything to do with Mayl's ominous portent of doom, or parasols, or the rumors floating around the Net about the return of that certain shady world-dominating organization, or anything. Just get the heck out of there. Or not. Head to the teacher's lounge, but before entering the Principal's office, jack into the school's database server and get the RockCube * and HPMemory. Now that that's done with, CHARGE! Huh? TetraCode? Who's this wacko? Hm, I think I just answered my own question.

Some Wacko: "Lan? Are you THE Lan?"

Wow. Someone actually remembers the first two games, for once. Yes, he is THE Lan, and yes, everyone else DOES get hypnotized, forcing you to save them. Search the school for Mayl, Dex, and Yai, and steal Mayl's Roll chip.

Mega: "If only we had something to block the light...

HEY! I've got a BRIGHT IDEA (pun intended)! How about a PARASOL? You know, the thing that's MADE FROM A NEW MATERIAL THAT SHUTS OUT ALL LIGHT!

Just a guess. Anyway, go to the other classroom and pick up the aforementioned shading device and return to the Principal's office.

Flashman.EXE: "Ha, ha, ha! So you came to die!"

This actually happens.
No, I came to kick your flashy little ass. Here, let me show you. Lan throws open the parasol, the Hypno Flash is useless, and Mega jacks in for the final showdown. Er, against the first boss, anyway. Head north and talk to the Prog. You'll need to flip light switches in the real world, and the first one is somewhere around something related to the clue "Cleaners 1."

Before starting the search, however, you can have a quick look around the office if you like. I especially like the photos of past principals.

You mean it wasn't built in the next town over?
"Cleaners1" is a sign in classroom 5B, where you found the parasol. Go there and flip the red switch by the blackboard. Now that the lights are flickering on and off in the cyberworld, you can occasionally see bits of data flicker in and out of visible existence. A bit of warning: Some data are actually "Intruder Ejection Programs." Sounds fun, eh? They're simple battles, actually. Search the first area thoroughly to grab KeydataA and any other items lying around, then go through the right gate. With KeydataB, head across to the left gate to pick up KeydataC and get through the center gate and on to PC2.

Here, you have to turn on another lightswitch to find three more passcodes. The only clue to the location is a large (ugly) red statue. Hmm, now where have you seen a—oh, forget it. It's the switch in the teacher's lounge, next to the blackboard. Back in the Net, the path gets a bit more complicated. Once in the red area with five desks, go southeast (winding your way around to the northeast pencil path) for Password A, go across the lower path west past the virtual servers to catch Password B, and take the upper path west to find Password C. Finally, pass through the gate for your first major Net battle: Flashman.EXE!

Mysterious Boss Battle: Flashman.exe
HP= 300
Speed= fast
Defense= normal
Movement= all enemy panels, random teleport
Objects= Flash Bulb(5 HP)
Attacks= Neon Light Tower(10), Spark Arm(15), Time Stopper(paralysis)

Since this is your first big fight, it should be relatively simple. Stand far back to avoid the short streams of lightning he sends out from his hand on occasion. The rows of flashing lights that shoot along the ground are fast, but they are avoidable if you stand to one side and step forward quickly; they only do 10 points of damage, regardless. Try and defeat him before the two large lampposts pop up. It's only five shots apiece to destroy them, but if you don't manage to get rid of them quickly, they'll freeze you wherever you are on the field, leaving open target practice for Flashy. When he pauses every other move, get in close with swords and GutsPunches if you can. If not, use fast (long-distance) chips. Either way, call Roll whenever she's available (you DID put her in your chip folder, right?). At 300 HP, Flash shouldn't last long. Your prize is 1000Z.

Facing defeat, old Flashums goes supernova and uses his SHINING BROWSER CRASHER attack. Wow, quite an imaginative name, there. Flash and his operator disappear in a blaze (pun) of glory, and Mega is left with an unusual dizziness that he quickly shrugs off. I sure hope that doesn't come around to bite him in his shiny virtual ass.

Jacking off—er—out, Lan happily discovers that the others are back to normal (whatever that may be), and owe him a little bit more in addition to when he happened to save the world once or twice.

Mega: "By the way, Lan. What did that guy mean by 'major catastrophe'?"

Ahh, I'm sure it was nothing. Just world domination, and all. You know, the usual.

E-Mail: Dex hands over his passcode and wants a netbattle for no apparent reason. This is actually your only chance to take on Gutsman's first version, so we might as well cover it. Go battle Dex in the park if you like.

Inconveniently Timed NetBattle: Gutsman.exe
HP= 300
Speed= slow
Defense= normal
Movement= all enemy panels, random teleport
Attacks= Hammer Wave(20), Guts Punch(30), Row Crack(cracks panels)

It's the same basic battle you fight early in most of the games in the series. You sidestep the waves, and when he does a Row Crack, try to get on one of the cracked panels and move left so you can be protected behind the hole. Just don't get stuck on one row by moving around too much when there are a lot of cracked panels or you could end up helpless. He'll only try to punch if you're standing in the rightmost column. Use that to draw him in close for a sword attack. Get the Gutsman chip as a prize.

You have his passcode now, so might as well break into his vacant house and jack into his computer to go unlock his cube. The fist-shaped platform has 200Z on the pinky finger and GutsPunch B on the wrist. That's good enough for now, so get Lan's little butt to bed. It's late. And ignore the balding old man behind the "WWW" desk laughing maniacally about plans with no chance for failure. He'll get what's coming to him.


~Nij / Desertman.EXE



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