Cossack's Comrades

Cossack's Comrades Season 1 Epilogue 3
Mushroom Madness

(The Cossack’s Comrades are gathered around with AM standing in front of them.)

Drill Man: It has taken time and sacrifice, but we have finally done it. What once seemed like a dream that would always be held back has finally become reality. The shadowy hands of the Illuminati tried to keep us from obtaining this goal, but together despite the best efforts of their mole *glares at John* we have succeeded. We finally have a working, up to date entertainment system.

Dive Man: Praise be!

Ring Man: I’m sorry I got the wrong cable at first by mistake. I went back to the store and got the right one right after.

Drill Man: In order to maintain your cover obviously. But now it is time to rejoice.

Pharaoh Woman: I ask for a blessing from… um… the Egyptian gods of entertainment!

Dust Man: Egyptian mythology isn’t my strong suit so I might get a bit of this mixed up, but I don’t believe they ever had gods with the specific domains of entertainment or theatre. Hathor was related to joy, music, and dance but not sure how well that fits this situation. Isis was considered related to artisans, but that wouldn’t be her primary role and again not exactly right. There are then the various gods related to scribes and writings like Thoth-

Pharaoh Woman: Yes, various deities still being spouted I ask for your blessings. And by… Harpocrates will I ask that Sean now finishes speaking.

Dust Man: Sorry. There is a time and place for everything and it really is unnecessary to go through all of Egyptian mythology at this time to try and work how who would be the deity most related to forms of technology that were most likely unimaginable during that time period. I will try to in the future keep things shorter. It is important to-

Bright Babe: Sean, you are doing it again.

Dust Man: … be concise. I’ll shut up now.

Drill Man: Now it is time to celebrate! As is tradition we shall start with a Super Smash Bros tournament and then move on to other games such as-

(At this moment Kalinka walks in.)

Kalinka: Okay, people. Time to move. I have a new mission for you.

Drill Man: What? Can’t it wait?

Kalinka: No, it can’t. We have a potential alien invasion on our hands about to start.

Toad Man: Aliens?! I always knew that it would come to this! Never fear my friends; I have trained for this day. I shall handle it single-handedly! AWAY!

Drill Man: See? Flippy has this. We’ll play a few rounds and meet up with him.

(Flippy jumps off of a couch straight into a wall. He completely misses the doorway by over a foot.)

Toad Man: AVENGE ME!

Kalinka: *facepalms and sighs* Now that that is over, with I need you all to leave immediately.

Drill Man: Isn’t alien invasion someone else's department? Seems a bit too normal and that it should have been picked up and shot down long before they reached here.

Kalinka: Their ships are materializing in atmosphere; we aren’t sure if it is dimensional travel or just really advanced teleportation or warp technologies yet.

Drill Man: Isn’t Over-1 better trained for this?

Kalinka: Over-1 is currently deployed and has three other invasions to deal with before I can even add this to his stack. Here, you can take a look at his lineup and see if you want to switch. *hands over a clipboard*

Drill Man: *Looks at schedule* How do you even get estimates on when beings of pure chaos arrive?

Kalinka: By being very good at your job.

Skull Man: *Glances over AM’s shoulder* Can we see what the estimated combat abilities of this new attacker are?

Kalinka: Last page.

Skull Man: … While I am always ready for a challenge and train for every combat situations, I believe most of us would rather not deal with more opponents that possess tentacles and are referred to as deities at this time and thus recommend we fight these small purple aliens..

Drill Man: Is there time for one quick match?

Kalinka: Oh, certainly. I’ll just send you to our estimated second target instead of the one that is currently being evacuated. I’m sure no one will mind the massive property damage and the increased likelihood of civilian casualties.

Drill Man: We shall leave, but I promise to return.

(The Cossack’s Comrades teleport out as Gunker enters the room.)

Gunker: Tiny comrades leave already? Gunker just made popcorn.

Kalinka: It must be nice to have the job description consisting of occasionally plugging into computer systems and not getting killed.

Gunker: Gunker hears tiny woman asking to play video games.

Kalinka: … Fine. I’ll play around of Smash Bros. with you. After all they did just set up the system and it is tradition.

Gunker: Gunker call Captain Falcon. It will ensure Gunker’s victory.

Kalinka: Whatever you say.

Kalinka: You do know that you can do things other than ‘Falcon Punch’ right?

Gunker: Hah! Gunker will not be tricked by tiny woman’s mind games!

(Elsewhere, UFOs descend upon a city. They are rather small, about the size of a person, but are rapidly firing off blasts of energy that turns people into … purple mushrooms? Local RPD officers are fighting them off leading to squadrons of purple mushrooms with limbs being beamed down that start engaging the robots on the ground.)

Dive Man: This is the dumbest look’n alien invasion ya have ever dragg’d me ta.

Skull Man: Their ability to transform the populace is impressive at least. Their other weaponry less so but it is giving the average RPD officer trouble at the very least. Gamma units would probably shrug off the blasts.

Dust Man: In order to induce such a rapid metamorphic what type of mutagenic properties does that beam have? It is only affecting organic material implying something biological in nature rather than magic. However it leads to instantaneous or near instantaneous change and results in a still living organism. Perhaps if further analysis is done-

Ring Man: Shouldn’t we be attacking the aliens?

Bright Babe: Yeah, we really shouldn’t just stand here.

Drill Man: Cossack Comrades, Attack!

Dive Man: Ya don’t need to shout. I’m stand’n right next ta ya.

Toad Man: It is time for my second wind!

(Flippy begins to dance, causing clouds to gather overhead. Acid rain begins to fall. The invaders panic at first, but quickly identify the cause of the weather. All of the invaders and their ships immediately change targets and begin attacking Flippy.)

Toad Man: Ow! Ow!

Skull Man: Do not worry. I shall cover you.

(Hunter jumps in front of Flippy and activates his Skull Shield to intercept shots. However ground forces begin to move to try and surround and the aerial attacks come in from various angles.)

Skull Man: There are too many of them to keep this up.

Dive Man: Don’t worry. We got ya back.

(The remaining comrades move behind Flippy and begin firing their ranged weaponry. Drill Missiles and Dive torpedoes make short work of the UFOs while operating in tandem while the rest try to keep the ground troops from surrounding them. However numbers prove too much and eventually Flippy is knocked down.)


Ring Man: Great, that was our one weapon capable of hitting them all at once.

(After the acid rain stops, the aliens begin to disperse to go after numerous targets once more. Many of them suffered severe burns from Toad Man’s signature attack. Some are being pulled back onto their UFOs having been blinded.)

Bright Babe: Does anyone else find it horrifying the potential that Toad’s weapon has against living things.

Toad Man: My name is Flippy.

Bright Babe: Sorry.

Toad Man: Now, AVENGE ME!

Pharaoh Woman: Uh, as a leader chosen by the gods, I am of course … umm… capable of handling such sights but I can see how some might not be able to stomach it and it really should only be used as a last resort.

Dust Man: Bad train of thought. Not considering ramifications of the Rain Flush being used on civilian targets. New topic please.

Ring Man: I’m trying to decide if we should split up to deal with these guys. They aren’t too strong but in such large numbers they can easily overwhelm us.

Skull Man: Agreed. Not many of us are equipped to deal with such large quantities of enemies at once. If we knew a weakness to exploit in their technology or their biology it could be of aid.

Dive Man: God, now that we’re pals please help me out here will ya?

(St. Geoff then notices a squadron quickly move away from a crying child.)

Dive Man: Praise be!

(St. Geoff immediately runs over and scoops up the child with one hand. He then begins swing the kid around at the mushroom invaders increase the amount of crying. Miraculously it seems to work and the aliens begin retreating. John throws a few Ring Boomerangs and manages to pin one to the ground. Taking inspiration from his ally, St. Geoff lobs the crying child at the fleeing group of aliens.)

Bright Babe: What the hell is wrong with you?

Dive Man: Don’t worry. I aimed for that pile of purple mushrooms that ain’t walk’n.

(The sniffling kid hits the purple mushroom which suddenly transforms back into a human.)

Dive Man: Or that now conscious civilian. Whatever works.

Dust Man: Magic is no longer being ruled out as a possibility.

Ring Man: Well, I managed to catch one. This one is yellow for some reason.

Toad Man: It’s shiny! That means it’s rarer.

(Ring Man twitches for a second.)

Bright Babe: Something wrong?

Ring Man: … I don’t know.

Alien: U■♒♋■♎ ❍♏ ⍓□◆ ❖♓❍●♏⬧⬧ ♎❒□■♏⬧✏ DESTROY!

Drill Man: Did anyone understand that?

Pharaoh Woman: As an umm… emissary of the gods I am of course an expert diplomat and able to easily comprehend another nation’s chosen tongue.

Drill Man: Really?

Pharaoh Woman: Maybe.

Ring Man: We probably should bring him back to Kalinka. She’ll have the equipment to try and figure out how their biology and these transformations work. She might also be able set up some translations equipment so we can figure out what is going on. We’ll also need to start tracking where the rest of them fled to.

(As Cossack’s Comrades leave, the aliens arrive elsewhere. They have surrounded an older junk yard worker and some oddly modified sharks. There is a more pink-shaded, mustache-sporting member along with a handful of yellow and bespectacled individuals in the midst of the more standard purple mushrooms.)

Junkyard Worker: Unhand me you, crazy walking mushrooms! I haven’t taken any of your kind in months!

(A yellow alien and the pink one talk for a few moments in their odd language before a syringe is pulled out and stabbed into one of the odd sharks. A blast from a ray gun is then fired.)

Shark: What a fascinating concoction! I do say that I feel my DNA being modified as I speak.

(The shark begins to mutate. Its skin takes on a more purple shade and its pupils. Parts of it stretch and twist. The aliens begin to celebrate and drag other sharks from the pit to modify.)

Junkyard Worker: No! I’ve bred these genetically modified, cybernetic sharks capable of analyzing and storing DNA for peace! PEACE I TELL YOU!

(Works are exchanged between the pink and a yellow again. A yellow then walks over and stabs the junkyard worker with a syringe before blasting him with a ray gun.)

Junkyard Worker: No! I’m supposed to be doing the mutating! How has this happened!

(Now back to Kalinka Cossack’s laboratory.)

Kalinka: So I’ve been analyzing the tissue samples and from your witness testimony and my tests it seems that the chemical composition of children’s tears is capable of breaking down the genetic structure of their species. It also breaks down their mutagenic agents in such a way that it reverses the mutation. I’ve never seen anything like it.

Dive Man: Do you know what that means, Skully? Looks like we’re off to Disney World to do a little collecting!

Kalinka: I was actually going to say I’ll see about making a modification to the Rain Flush. *notices that Geoff and Hunter have already left* Well it will take a while to make that and do Flippy’s repairs. Especially if he keeps eating my tools.

Toad Man: I regret nothing!

Kalinka: If you want to try interrogating the alien, go ahead. I’ve strapped him down in the next room.

Ring Man: Do you have anything to help translate?

Kalinka: Oh, Avi can do that.

Pharaoh Woman: I can? I mean of course I can.

Kalinka: You were originally designed for archeological expeditions and exploration. You should be able to decipher at least part of it.

(Meanwhile, St. Geoff the Tear Collector and his loyal follower Hunter the Tear Inducer arrive in Disney World.)

Greeter: Hello, welcome to- Oh, dear lord! Not you again!

Skull Man: Hello, Steve. It is a pleasure to see you again.

Dive Man: Ya know this twerp?

Skull Man: In an attempt to better under emotions and social interaction I took a job at Disney World. It was also part of a small sting operation.

Steve: We’ve passed laws against you ever working here again! Literally, we have passed numerous laws against it!

Skull Man: But none prohibiting my entering the grounds as a guest.

Dive Man: How bad was it?

Steve: We started him in the Magic Kingdom just helping out nothing important. Within in an hour we had over a hundred parents complaining about how their child had been emotionally scarred for life. We thought nothing of it at first. The line was a bit long but we were used to dealing with some complaints. Usually people looking for a way to get a free pass. But they didn’t stop coming. Three actors slipped on an oddly salty pool of water on their way to change into costumes so a new recruit volunteered to take his place for the live performance. We normally would want someone with more experience but we didn’t want to keep the crowds waiting and little children aren’t usually capable of differencing good and bad acting. I will never forget that day. The screams resonated across the park. It is said to this to day you can still hear the crying and that the ground is still stained in tears.

Skull Man: I attempted to add more realism to the scene. It apparently was not appreciated.

Dive Man: Well at least ya have experience at the job that needs do’n.

(St. Geoff pushes pasts the greeter.)

Skull Man: If I have time, I will talk to you later Steve. *follows Geoff*

Steve: I was on the corporate fast track. After that day, I was demoted. I tried looking for new work, but word had spread and I became un-hirable. I couldn’t even get a job in retail if I tried. I was being punished since I was the one that agreed to allow an RPD agent to work here under cover for a few days. Since I was responsible for the incident. Now I watch people enter a happy fantasy land filled with hope and joy, knowing that those are two things I will never experience again. I am being punished. But I understand that it was all my fault. While I did not nor could not have known the damages that would be done, it was an action that was too vile to allow go without repercussion. Similarly to how Adam and Eve must be punished for sinning despite not knowing that they had done wrong until they possessed the knowledge gained by their actions.

Skull Man: To check, we only need children’s tears? Adult tears won’t work?

Dive Man: Believe so, but put ya can put em in a separate bucket and we’ll bring em to be safe.


Pharaoh Woman: So, let’s start with the basics. Who are you?

Alien: Y□◆ ⬧♒□◆●♎ ❒♏●♏♋⬧♏ ❍♏ ⧫♒♓⬧ ♓■⬧⧫♋■⧫???? Destroy! ✋ ♋❍ p♋❒⧫ □♐ ⧫♒♏ ❍♓♑♒⧫⍓ S♒❒□□♌ ❒♋♍♏✏ ☠□⧫ □■●⍓ ⧫♒♋⧫???? ♌◆⧫ ✋ p□⬧⬧♏⬧⬧ ♋ ♑❒♏♋⧫ ⬧♍♓♏■⧫♓♐♓♍ ❍♓■♎???? Destroy!

Pharaoh Woman: I see. So your species are called Shroob and I can call you Dr. Shroob.

Drill Man: This is actually working?

Pharaoh Woman: Now as pharaoh and leader of a great country, I would be normally willing to open diplomatic negotiations and trade will emissaries from a new land. However your attack may have ruined any chance at peace.

Dr. Shroob: Destroy! O◆❒ ⬥□❒●♎ ♓⬧ ♎⍓♓■♑ ♋■♎ ⬥♏ ❍◆⬧⧫ ♐♓■♎ ♋ ■♏⬥ □■♏???? W♏ ♒♋❖♏ ♌◆♓●⧫ ❍♋♍♒♓■♏⬧ ⧫□ ⧫♋&♏ ◆⬧ ♋♍❒□⬧⬧ ⧫♒♏ ♑♋●♋⌧⍓ ♓■ ❍□❍♏■⧫⬧ ♌◆⧫ ♋⧫⧫♏❍p⧫⬧ ♋⧫ ♍●♋♓❍♓■♑ ♋ p●♋■♏⧫ ❒♓♍♒ ♓■ V♓❍ ⬧♏♏❍♏♎ ♓❍p□⬧⬧♓♌●♏???? Destroy! W♏ ♒♋❖♏ ♌◆♓●⧫ ♎♏❖♓♍♏⬧ ⧫□ ⧫♋&♏ ◆⬧ ♋♍❒□⬧⬧ ❒♏♋●♓⧫⍓ ♌◆⧫ p●♋■♏⧫⬧ ❒♓♍♒ ♓■ V♓❍ ♋❒♏ ♒♋❒♎ ⧫□ ♐♓■♎???? W♏ ♒♋❖♏ ●□⬥♏❒♏♎ □◆❒ ⬧⧫♋■♎♋❒♎⬧ ⬧♓■♍♏ ⧫♓❍♏ ♓⬧ ❒◆■■♓■♑ □◆⧫ □■ □◆❒ ♒□❍♏???? Destroy! Y□◆❒ p●♋■♏⧫ ♓⬧ ■□⧫ ❒♓♍♒ ♓■ V♓❍???? ♌◆⧫ ♓⧫ ♓⬧ ♋●♓❖♏???? W♏ ♍♋■ ♍◆●⧫♓❖♋⧫♏ ♓⧫ ♋■♎ ♑❒□⬥ ♓⧫ ⬥♒♓●♏ ⍓□◆ ♒♋❖♏ ♋●●□⬥♏♎ ♓⧫ ⧫□ ⬥♓⧫♒♏❒ ♋■♎ ♎♓♏???? Destroy! ❄♒♏■ ⬥♏ ⬥♓●● ♏⌧p♋■♎ ♋■♎ ♏■⬧◆❒♏ ⧫♒♏ ●♓♑♒⧫ □■ □◆❒ ⬥□❒●♎ ⬥♓●● ■♏❖♏❒ ♑□ □◆⧫???? Destroy!

Pharaoh Woman: I see. And have you considered trade instead. Do you possess uh… clay by chance?

Dr. Shroob: Y□◆ ⬥□◆●♎ ⧫❒♋♎♏ ♋ ⬥□❒●♎ ♐□❒ ♍●♋⍓? Destroy! Y□◆ ♋❒♏ ♍●♏♋❒●⍓ ♓■⬧♋■♏???? Destroy! W♏ ⬥♓●● ♍♒♋■♑♏ ⍓□◆❒ ●♋■♎ ⧫□ ⬧◆♓⧫ □◆❒ ■♏♏♎⬧???? Destroy! P♋⬧⧫ ♓■❖♋⬧♓□■⬧ ♒♋❖♏ ♍♋◆⬧♏♎ ◆⬧ ⧫□ ●□⬧♏ ❍◆♍♒???? □◆❒ ❒□⍓♋● ♐♋❍♓●⍓ ♏❖♏■???? ☟□⬥♏❖♏❒ ⬥♏ ⬥♓●● ■□⧫ ♐♋♓● ♒♏❒♏???? Destroy!

Pharaoh Woman: I see.

Dust Man: So what did he say? Did he explain how their transformation devices worked?

Pharaoh Woman: Well, if I understand it correctly. They would be willing to trade clay for this … destroy-vium substance.

Drill Man: So this didn’t work.

(At that moment, Kalinka walks in.)

Kalinka: This just in. They’ve launched another attack and seem to have pulled out some new heavy hitters. I need you guys out there now.

Ring Man: Okay, where is Flippy?

Kalinka: Not ready yet. You’ll just have to make do until then.

Drill Man: Well, you heard the lady. Let’s move.

(Meanwhile back in Disney World.)

Dive Man: Santa Clause is dead, The Tooth Fairy is actually using your teeth for voodoo magic, and the Easter Bunny is a convicted sex offender. Your parents never told you because they secretly hate you.

(As the tears begin to flow, St. Geoff grabs the children before they can run off and shakes them upside down over a bucket to the horror of parents are park guides helpless to stop him.)

Dive Man: Thanks be to god, that’s my fifth bucket so far. Probably can head out. Hey, Hunter how many have you collected?

Skull Man: Thirty-seven buckets containing children’s tears and seventeen buckets of tears from other age groups.

Dive Man: What da hell. How in god’s name da ya do that? … And sorry, god. But c’mon.

Skull Man: There are many ways to apply psychological warfare.

Dive Man: Eh, whatever. Wasn’t a competition anyways. Let’s just get ready to head back.

(Elsewhere, AM, Avi, Jet, John, and Sean arrive to witness the new members of the Shroob army.)

Ring Man: Well that just isn’t fair.

Junkyard Worker: Yes fall before my Sharbs! For the glory of the Shroob! Destroy!

Bright Babe: Junkyard worker that makes weird sharks, I thought we were friends!

Junkyard Worker: If we were friends you should know my name. But you may call be Junkyob now.

Bright Babe: Sorry.

Junkyoob: It is okay. Destroy! You were the first to recognize my work so I’ll let you witness the brilliance of it. And possibly have you rebuilt when the world is conquered if that is okay with Commander Shroob.

Commander Shroob: ✋⧫ ♓⬧ ♐♓■♏???? Destroy!

Junkyoob: Now witness the true power of the Sharb! Go eat that man over there!

Fat Man: What?

(One of the Sharb goes over and plucks up the overweight make human and immediately downs it in one gulp.)

Sharb: An interesting specimen. I believe I have determined what are the correct modifications to be made. One moment please, sirs.

(A second later the Sharb spits something out. A now incredibly muscular mushroom-headed purple humanoid figure.)

Bright Babe: Why did we just sit there and watch that happen?

Ring Man: It was like a train wreck.

Junkyoob: I shall call you a Shulk. How do you feel?


Junkyoob: See, the Sharb are not only powerful warriors but after I made modifications they are now walking genetics labs. No longer do we have to spend time trying to figure out what elixirs and rays to use to ensure we get something useful from a transformation. They store the genetic data of whatever they find and will mix and match mutagens to create new powerful warriors. If fed enough raw organic material they could also just make more of whatever they want.

Dust Man: Fascinating. I wish I could see more of the underlying process. The applications this has-

(Just then a Shulk punches him sending him flying backwards.)

Dust Man: Right. I'm in the middle of a battle.

Drill Man: Surprising how easy that is to forget today.

Shroob: ????♒♋❒♑♏✏ Destroy! W♏ ⬥♓●● ♍□■❑◆♏❒ ⧫♒♓⬧ p●♋■♏⧫ ♋■♎ ♍●♋♓❍ ♓⧫ ♋⬧ □◆❒ ■♏⬥ ♒□❍♏✏ Destroy!

(Blasts of energy are shot forward from the alien ray guns forcing the comrades to fall back.)

Drill Man: Fighting off an alien invasion by ourselves is harder than I thought it will be.

Pharaoh Woman: Never fear! By Ra’s might we shall prevail!

(Just then St. Geoff and Hunter arrive and begin throwing buckets of children’s tears at the invading Shroobs.)

Dive Man: Hah! Take that ya purple shrooms!

Shulk: Destroy!

Skull Man: Thank you for the suggestion. *Dumps a bucket of children’s tears on him.*

Junkyoob: No! Destroy! My creations retreat!

(The giant Shulk is reverted to an obese man)

Fat Man: Thank you! How may I ever repay you?

Dive Man: By losing some weight tubby.

Skull Man: Adult tears so far have not produced an effect, Geoff.

Dive Man: And?

Skull Man: Just a reminder.

Shroob: W♏ ❍◆⬧⧫ ❒♏⧫❒♏♋⧫✏ Destroy! ❄♒♏⍓ ●♏♋❒■♏♎ □♐ □◆❒ ⬥♏♋&■♏⬧⬧✏ Destroy!

Commander Shroob: ☠□✏ Destroy! ????♏⬧⧫❒□⍓ ⧫♒□⬧♏ ♌◆♍&♏⧫⬧ ⧫♒♏⍓ ♍♋❒❒⍓✏

(UFOs swoop down and open fire on Geoff and Hunter. Ray guns are aimed at the buckets.)

Dive Man: Damn it. Do ya know how hard it was chasing down children for these and tak’n them from their parents?

Skull Man: It was effective while it lasted. *starts throwing the remaining buckets as fast as he can*

Toad Man: Never fear! Flippy is here!

Drill Man: Wait, when did you get here?

Toad Man: About when they did, but I needed to make a heroic entrance!

Ring Man: But we needed-

Skull Man: Later. For now we must cover him.

(Toad Man starts to dance and children’s tears rain down from the sky. Those mutated by the Shroob revert to normal and the Shroob themselves begin to melt and break apart.)

Commander Shroob: Destroy! ☞◆●●???? ❒♏⧫❒♏♋⧫✏ Q◆♓♍&●⍓✏

(UFOs take off and try to leave the area, but begin to waver and crash as the rain hits them.)

Dive Man: Well now looks like the day has been saved by da grace of god.

Ring Man: You scarred small children permanently.

Dive Man: Just as god would of wanted.

Toad Man: Hey, my dancing is what is saving the day!

Dive Man: And your just an instrument of the divine's will.

Toad Man: I’m no one’s instrument.

Dive Man: But I can play you like a fool, can’t I?

Toad Man: Fair point.

Dive Man: Now keep dancing for the next hour and afterwards you can go and lick up any remaining slime.

Toad Man: Oh boy! The perfect hero’s reward!

Drill Man: Well at least this is over with now.

(Meanwhile in an evacuated building.)

Commander Shroob: ❄♒♋■&♐◆●●⍓ ⧫♒♏♓❒ ⬧⧫❒◆♍⧫◆❒♏⬧ ♋pp♏♋❒ ♓❍❍◆■♏ ⧫□ ⧫♒□⬧♏ ♌●♋⬧⧫♏♎ ⧫♏♋❒⬧???? Destroy! O◆❒ ♏⬧♍♋p♏ ♒♋⬧ ♌♏♏■ ♍◆⧫ □♐♐✏

Junkyoob: My poor creations. Sniff, Destroy!

Sharb: There, there. Destroy! We have documented the DNA of the lost experiments. We’ll be able to recreate and improve them in the future. Destroy!

Shroob: W♒♋⧫ ⬧♒♋●● ⬥♏ ♎□? Destroy! ❄♒♏ ❒♋♓■ ⬧◆❒❒□◆■♎⬧ ◆⬧✏ Destroy!

Dr. Shroob: W♏ ♋❒♏ ♍◆⧫ □♐♐ ♐❒□❍ □◆❒ ⬧p♋♍♏♍❒♋♐⧫???? Destroy! ✋ ♍♋■’⧫ ♑♏⧫ ◆⬧ □◆⧫ □♐ ♒♏❒♏ ⬥♓⧫♒ ⧫♒♏ ⧫□□●⬧ ♋⧫ ♒♋■♎????

Commander Shroob: ❄♒♏■ ♓⧫ ⬧♏♏❍⬧ ⧫♒♋⧫ ⧫♒♏ S♒❒□□♌ ♋❒♏ ♎□□❍♏♎ ⧫□ ♎♏♋⧫♒???? Destroy! ✋ ♋p□●□♑♓⌘♏ ♐□❒ ●♏♋♎♓■♑ ⍓□◆ ♎□⬥■ ⧫♒♓⬧ p♋⧫♒✏

?: Hello, there. I hope I’m not interrupting anything.

Commander Shroob: ?✏

?: I believe might have a potential job opening for you fellows.

The End.

Cossack's Comrades

AM as Drill Man          Sean as Dust Man          Geoff as Dive Man

Jet as Bright Babe       Hunter as Skull Man

John as Ring Man       Avi as Pharaoh Woman       Flippy as Toad Man