Cossack's Comrades Season 1 Epilogue 4
'Old acquaintances, New teachers'

By : Hunter (Skull Man)

A day like any other in Kalinka's office, filling paperwork and looking up data on the latest disturbances. She looks up one of her screens for data (the resurgence of medieval-themed parallel worlds crossing-overs), only to find a blue, sadly familiar face.

Kalinka : Crorq. What is it this time ?

Crorq : Oh, just wanting to hear some news from my -ugh- dear RPD subordinates. Namely, your reports.

Kalinka : Working on them as we speak. I keep telling you, we need some repellents against these infest-

Crorq : I WAS NOT TALKING ABOUT THAT, INFIDEL !! The performance reports from the Comrades ! Where are they ?

Kalinka : Perfor- I received no such order ! No message about that ! *opens up her PDA and displays it to Crorq* See ?

Crorq : You mean this unread message from two weeks ago that I in no way have sent just now with an altered date ?

Kalinka : ... I see. Now that you have proved to us who was in command, what is the short of that order ?

Crorq : Simple. I want the Comrades to perform some work on the field. Learning the basics of cop work with some experimented agents.

Kalinka : Things that will surely help them against cross-dimensional invaders, of course.

Crorq : YOU WILL NOT TELL CRORQ THE INEXPUGNABLE HOW TO RUN THE RPD ! When I look up your 'Comrades', I see they are listed as 'RPD Officers' ! Except the frog and the sub, they're also listed as 'naval hazard'. And I fully expect Officers to perform basic Officer work, alien critter or not !

Kalinka : Fine, fine ! And these experimented agents you mentioned ?

Crorq : It's an obvious choice, -blah- my dear : above-average agents, likely to keep up with Robot Masters, and located in Russia. The Murmansk squad.

Kalinka : Who ... ? Well, that will be interesting.

Crorq : And I request, nay, order that you keep your Team unaware of who will teach them. Dealing with unexpected situations is a must in your field, after all.

Kalinka : That ... makes a disturbing amount of sense.

Crorq : *huffs* After all, I am a super-computer, of course my ideas make sense !

Kalinka : Very well, Commander. Consider the Comrades ready for this.

Crorq : Excellent, then ! Just enough time to warn the Murmansk squad of their new mission - no knowledge of their students, either, gotta make a double-blind test for better performances. Gather your team tomorrow at 0800 in your station's hall. And now, -blarf- have a pleasant -urrgh- day, Citizen. SHAKE MAN, I DEMAND TACOS ! *cuts off the communication*

Kalinka : ... 'swimming hazards', eh ? I guess Geoff will complain he's not an ALL-TERRAIN hazard yet...

(The next morning...)

Drill Man : And that's all he said ? No details about our teachers ?

Kalinka : He made a sensible argument. Next time, you try saying the megalomaniacal computer his orders are wrong on the yearly occasion they're right.

Drill Man : This sounds like a trap. Who's to say they won't try to reprogram us during this "session" ?

Ring Man : *shrugs* Think of it as an opportunity to meet other RPD agents, Boss.

Dust Man : What I'm wondering is, who exactly is in this squad. It can't be the Maniacs or the Sentinels, they're in Monsteropolis. And even if it were, the technological gap is too vast for them to bother with us. Same reason it can't be a regular troop of Officer-bots. Do you think it's a group of Special Forces, or another Team reanimated before ours ? And what if-

Toad Man : And what if it was the Legion of Super-Russians ?

Dive Man : *slaps Toad* Th' only "super" thing about Russians is their Maalox, thank God for that. Speaking o'which ... *chugs from his flask*

Skull Man : It is not recommended to get over-energized before work. This leads to sloppiness, and increases risks of death on the field.

Pharaoh Woman : Indeed ! Besides, what kind of an impression would we make to these high dignitaries of the Kingdom of "Murmansk" ? This diplomatic incident could, um, break our vital trading of, of, wool ! Yes, very big business, wool.

Dive Man : Ah, can it. I don't need th' Undead League of Temperance so early in th' morning. *throws his bottle behind him* Here, Jet.

Bright Babe : *dodges* Geoff, how many times did I ask you to be careful with these ? Besides, you're littering.

Dive Man : Y'say that as if I only targeted ya. Kermit here got his share last night.

Gunker : *as all this goes on* Tiny comrades seem full of vigour today. Is good.

Kalinka : How much longer until I get rid of them ?

Gunker : Now is 0759, tiny doctor. Meeting is to be in 3 ... 2 ... 1 ...

(And at this time, a portal opened in mid-air, large enough for the Team to cross.)

Dive Man : Well, that was some good Maalox today.

Dust Man : Is this normal, Kalinka ?

Kalinka : It's not a dimensional anomaly, if that's what you ask. Now, go and have a nice day.

Toad Man : Onwards, team ! *slips and falls on his face* Owie.

Drill Man : *sighs* Geoff, pick Flippy up.

Dive Man : Again ?

Drill Man : You have free dibs on knocking him out if he acts stupid again.

Dive Man : Deal.

Drill Man : And now, John, you'll step in, and I'll follow.

Ring Man : Eh ? Why me ?

Drill Man : I want to be sure this isn't a trap. After all, your superiors wouldn't want their mole to get hurt, isn't it ?

Ring Man : *sighs* I am not a mole.

Drill Man : Less talking, more walking.

(And so they crossed the portal, to find on the other side...)

Bright Babe : Another RPD office. *stares at a poster on the wall* And by the looks of it, we're in Murmansk.

Pharaoh Woman : See how powerful is the Kingdom of Murmansk ! Surely, by giving them a good impression, they could impart on us the secrets of teleportation, in order to, um, hasten the trading of wool, and, and, whatever we offer for wool !

Skull Man : I find no Robot Master with such an ability in my files. The closest match would be Centaur Man, but the power displayed is well above his abilities.

Dust Man : If it is him, it means he got upgraded, and that the other World's Strongest are present. However, their presence as the Murmansk squad would be cause for diplomatic incident, since only Blizzard Man was a russian robot. I must know if the RPD has developed such technology on its own, but we still don't know who we will meet.

Drill Man : Hush, someone's coming. Weapons ready.

? (outside the room) : … not sure about them, whoever they are. Besides, a portal for eight ? I felt it.

? : Relax, it’s not like they sent us the PC Team or something.

(The door opens, revealing five surprised robots.)

‘Rifle’ : … Then again, it could’ve been preferable.

‘Big’ : Unit recognizes Cossack’s Creations.

Drill Man : It’s Cossack’s Comrades, whoever you are ! … My god, infiltrators ! *readies his Drill Bombs*

‘Swords’ : Restrain thee, fellow Officer ! *points to a RPD badge on his chest*

Dive Man : Bah. Not that I care about Boss-Man’s lil’ theories, but a badge can be faked. An’ I’m always itchin’ for a beatin’.

‘BigArm’ : *chuckles* Well, that went better than expected, boss.

‘Rifle’ : Shut up, you. *turns to AM* It seems like we started on a wrong foot, so let’s … do that over, okay ? We are the Murmansk squad, also known as … the Fatal Five !

Dust Man : Hmm … It should remind me of something … Nope. Sorry.

‘Rifle’ : *sighs* Sadly, I’m used to this.

‘Raven’ : You’ll be the ones we’ll teach today ? That shall prove interesting.

‘Rifle’ : I suppose we should present ourselves. My name is Riff, and these are the other Fatalists : Warpman …

Warpman : Just so you know, that portal you used ? Yeah, it was me. So respect the travel operator.

Riff : Staccato…

Staccato : *bows* Mine blades are yours to fight along.

Riff : Lento…

Lento : *blinks, then waves*

Riff : And Karasû.

Toad Man : *wakes up* Uh ? Where are we ? And when do we eat ? And … *spots Karasû* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

Karasû : I hope that –

Toad Man : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

Karasû : Please calm –

Toad Man : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

Karasû : Whatever troubles you –

Toad Man : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

Karasû : … I see. *performs a few magical handsigns, and throws a smoke-bomb on the ground*

(As the smoke dissipates, Karasû appears as a normal RPD Officer)

Toad Man : AAAAAAAAAA- Oh, thank you, Officer ! There was a huge bird about to eat me !

Riff : (Is it too late to resign from this assignment ?) So, who is your leader ? Got some organization stuff to discuss before we start.

Pharaoh Woman : It shall be I, great king of Murmansk ! I do hope your wool-making factories are doing well !

Riff : (… Okay, what’s worse : a hour with Crorq, or a day with those guys ?)

Drill Man : Let me handle that. *to Avi* Your Highness, I believe these are merely the kingdom's policemen. Perhaps I should handle these matters ?

Pharaoh Woman : Oh. Well, then, do so. Until I meet the actual king, then I shall revise our economic dossier. Now, how is wool produced again ?

Riff : Thank you.

Drill Man : Don't mention it. *whispers* I just play along because she's onto me. If she knows the gig is up, she'll terminate us.

Riff : O-kay. Anyway, got some suggestions on pairing up your Comrades with my Fatalists ?

Staccato : Allow me to escort this noble dignitary through our town.

Riff : Yeah, you do that. (Gotta keep SOME of the crazy out.)

Toad Man : *stares at Lento* Hey, you ! I challenge you to an EATING CONTEST !!!!!

Lento : Unit Lento does not get why.

Toad Man : That's because you're huge. And it means you have HUGE GUTS ! For eating !

Lento : Unit Lento requests to teach Toad Man police work. And manners. And ... politeness ?

Skull Man : I will join them, to avoid Toad Man's inevitable yet permanently-postponed deactivation.

Riff : *sighs*

Warpman : (At least I didn't get stuck with the crazy ones.)

Riff : Warpman, you should go with Dive Man. I bet you'll get along well.

Warpman : What ?! The guy's an asshole ! Don't you know what he does to bridges, civilians and alcohol ?

Dive Man : Guess my legacy still lives on. But whatever God puts on my path, it can't be worse that Stink-Mummy and Kermit.

Warpman : Implying something, son of a submariner ?

Dust Man : I see you didn't mention me yet. Was it because of my lack of offensive power ? It shouldn't be the primary criterion for Officer selection, but maybe your town suffers riots. Or is my history with a non-functional buster making you feel uncomfortable ?

Riff : Wh- No ! Follow me and your leader. We have things to discuss, and it will be a looooong day.

(And as the various groups leave...)

Karasû : I guess we shall go together.

Bright Babe : *shrugs* I suppose it can't be that bad.

Karasû : Tell me, are your teammates always this weird ?

Ring Man : You don't know the half of it. But to be honest, some of your ... colleagues ? ... brothers ? They don't seem better.

Karasû : True thing, companions. They can be the source of many frustrations.

(Now, how did these pairings end up ? Let's have a look.)

Dive Man : So, what will yer teach me today, "prof" ?

Warpman : Bah. I don't think you really need to be taught police work. Just ... remember how the police treated you all the time, and do that stuff to crooks. Or something.

Dive Man : Wow, really helpful.

Warpman : Har har. Look, what do you want : a day as a junior CSI, or going to the best waterhole in town ?

Dive Man : And now ye speak my language, Warpy. What's th' place ?

Warpman : Just the best damn pub in Russia. Belongs to a friend of mine.

(They soon enter a pub named "Henry's New Hideout". The place is nearly empty at this time of the day, save for a few patrons and Henry, the owner.)

Warpman : The usual, Henry. Same for my rookie pal.

Henry : Sure thing, Warp. *looks up* HOLY WILY, IT'S DIVE MAN ! *pulls a plasma rifle from under his bar* The landlord warned me about the Vodka Drought you caused !

Dive Man : Wait, that was, what, twenny years back ? *grins* Talk about a reputation.

Warpman : Relax, he'll behave. He's RPD now.

Henry : Hm. *hides away his rifle*

Dive Man : 'Sides, I don't trash pubs anymore. Would be disrespectful of th' second chance I got.

Warpman : "Second chance" ? That's a story I want to hear. *Henry brings them beers* Thanks, bud.

Dive Man : And I guess ye'll have to share some back. But I warn ye, I get a dry throat easily.

Warpman : No prob ! We Fatalists have a tab here, directly paid by Crorq. Gotta thank the marvels of bureaucracy.

Dive Man : Tell ye what, Franky Stein, I like yer style.

Warpman & Dive Man : To Crorq ! *drink*

(Elsewhere...)

Karasû : ... And that's how you detect fingerprints.

Bright Babe : Very interesting, thanks ! *takes notes* Any questions, John ?

Ring Man : Well, it's probably obvious, but still : how do you spot fingerprints if the culprit is a machine ? Usually, the fingers are smooth, or come from a factory pattern.

Karasû : Very good point. It's not always obvious, but when manipulating objects, metallic fingers can leave microscopic deposits. Once you detect them, and the way they're disposed, you can have a good grasp of who was around.

Ring Man : I see. It goes with what you said about footprints, when you look back.

Karasû : Nothing in the world escapes an acute eye, fellow Officers.

Bright Babe : Just a question ... How does your magic help in your work ?

Karasû : That's a thing I tend to avoid. Magic is seen as unreliable, and Crorq -or rather, his underlings who actually fill the paperwork- prefer scientific methods. But every once in a while, a tracking spell does wonders.

Ring Man : I can imagine.

Karasû : At least, it's more productive than Lento performing interrogations...

(Speaking of which...)

Toad Man : So, Sumo-Guy, how do you interrogationate people ?

Lento : I ask them if they did it.

Toad Man : And then ?

Lento : I ask them if they did it.

Toad Man : And then ?

Lento : I ask them if they did it.

Toad Man : And then ?

Lento : I ask them if they did it.

Toad Man : And then ?

Lento : I ask them if they did it.

Toad Man : And then ?

Lento : I ask them if they did it.

Toad Man : And then - ooooh, a banana peel ! *runs to it, slips, and knocks himself out* Ouchies...

Lento : And at this point, they either say they did it, or knock themselves unconscious.

Skull Man : A fascinating method. But do they ask what they're guilty of after they admit it ?

Lento : ... Now Lento sees why his success rate is only 50%.

Skull Man : Still, its reliability must be lauded. It fits in with the world we live in : alive, or dead.

Lento : This sounds like philosophy. Would you like to debate with me ?

Skull Man : *stares at Flippy, who's now snoring* We have a few hours ahead. Shall I carry my burden of a teammate ?

Lento : No worry. *shoves Flippy in his mortar* Now, what to debate ? Ah, yes. Are you familiar with Turgenev ?

(And in a familiar place...)

Dive Man : So I sez to th' guy, "Hi, I'm Dive Man, I'm a cold-blooded murder. Who're you ?".

Warpman : And it worked ?

Dive Man : Sure thing. Ran away home with his tail between his legs.

Warpman : *bursts out laughing* Oh, wow ! I'd have stories to share, but I don't think I can top that.

Henry : *cleaning a glass* Tell the one about the robot shark, Warp. It's my favorite.

Warpman : Yeah, people like it for some reason. So, there we were, working for the Doc in Bergen...

(Hold on, we still haven't talked about Our Royal Highness !)

Staccato : And this, fair queen, is the local Opera, renovated after the Last Great War.

Pharaoh Woman : Most impressive ! Surely, Thot will be pleased by this place of music. Yes, truly pleased.

Staccato : Is something the matter, mylady ?

Pharaoh Woman : Nothing really, noble warrior. It's just that, well, we've yet to see wool factories. Which is the reason I came here, to negotiate for wool. And, and, I do not want to return in shame to my country ! What would the citizens of the Kingdom of the Russian Nile think of their queen ?

Staccato : Wool ? Actually, it is sheared from the skin of sheeps. And we have some herds waiting for a ship to sail the Azurean. Follow me, ma'am.

(And in one of the pen stocks near the harbour...)

Sheep Babe : It's a tough life as a shepherdess, waiting for my dear Edward Trunks. But these sheeps are fluffly and dreamy, just like him ! And they have the same eyes ! *looks a sheep in the eyes*

Sheep : *stares back in a sort-of braindead way*

Sheep Babe : *swoons* Soooo dreamy !

Staccato : There they are ! Shall my blade be of use to you ?

Pharaoh Woman : No need, valiant knight ! For I have ... *grabs under her headdress* The Scissors of Coma Berenices, Egyptian goddess of hair and scissors ! *jumps into the pen stock*

Sheep Babe : Wait, no ! I'm not a sheep I'M NOT A SHEEP PLEASE EDWARD SAVE MEEEEAFDSQQLKSKSKSS-

Staccato : Well, that shall be one electrified wool.

(And finally...)

Riff : ... And that's all I can remember about the town's sewage system. Seriously, do you need that much information about that ?

Dust Man : I may have gone overboard on data-stocking.

Drill Man : You know, I still do not trust you. What tells me you're not of them ?

Riff : Them who ?

Drill Man : Your secret masters. The ones who managed to get a squad of Wily-bots in the RPD without a hitch. Probably ... Illuminati.

Riff : That's stupid.

Drill Man : Well, you're stupid. *under his breath* Illuminati.

Riff : I suppose I owe you an explanation. So, here's why we're with the RPD.

Dust Man : I'm all ears. And AM too. Right, AM ?

Drill Man : I'll listen, but I stick to my ideas.

Riff : Whatever floats your boat. Anyway, it started at the War. Do you remember much of it ?

***

Bright Babe : Too much for my confort. What happened ?

Karasû : We were stationed at Murmansk, and protected it from the General.

***

Dive Man : And technic'lly, from th' overgrown Amiga's goons too.

Warpman : We were already in the place, October Red, and they were trespassing on our turf too. So it was them, or us. And even if my body is crap, I only have this one to live in.

***

Skull Man : All parameters of human behaviour show these citizens would have been grateful.

Toad Man : *drools on Lento's face*

Lento : They were. Fatal Five received a parade in honour.

***

Pharaoh Woman : And after the War ? When you returned to, um, evil-ness and, and bad-tude under Wily ?

Sheep Babe : Edwaaaaaard... *falls unconscious*

Staccato : We regularly visited the town, and helped it in its time of needs, while serving our creator. Our code of honour required no less !

***

Dust Man : And when Doc Wily died ?

Drill Man : Good question. Where WERE you ?

Riff : We ... had a thing to do.

(Fifteen years back, on a pier...

Riff : You have to understand us, Sharky. You must go and live with your own ! We ... we are not your family.

Robot Shark : *growls and stares at the Fatal Five*

Warpman : Now, go. There is wild fish out there. And other sharks. It's ... it's for the best.

Staccato : *sobs in Karasû's shoulder* It's not fair !

Karasû : He can't forever be with us. He's a shark, and we're robots ... he's spent the best of his years with us.

Robot Shark : *growls in a sad tone*

Lento : Unit Lento will never forget you. *puts a medallion on the shark's fin*

Robot Shark : *turns and takes speed*

Lento : Look !

(All of a sudden, the shark jumps off the water, high enough to go over the Fatal Five...)

Lento : *strokes the shark's belly* Be happy, Sharky !

(... then it splashes, and goes through a tanker. And starts destroying it.)

Riff : ... Oops.)

***

Lento : ... It took a naval division and two cruisers to take him down. Good Sharky. Best pet.

Skull Man : An impressive creature. And then ?

***

Karasû : When we came back to the Castle, it was empty. The Doctor was nowhere to be found. And we quickly learned that he was dead.

Ring Man : Sorry to hear that. I mean, he wanted to take over the world and all, but ... yeah.

Karasû : I understand that.

Bright Babe : And so, what did you do then ?

***

Warpman : We high-tailed it to the town, along with our pal Henry. He was involved in that business at first, too.

Dive Man : And good thing ya did ! E'en God would come here for a pint. I know it.

Henry : Thanks, sir.

Dive Man : And so, once here ?

***

Staccato : We came to an arrangement with the burghmeister : we were to join the RPD in his town, and Crorq would overlook our bloodline.

Pharaoh Woman : And a fine gesture he did. Praise be to Crorq, the God of Bureaucracy and Irritableness ! Or, his emissary, y'know, if someone is better suited. Set, maybe ?

***

Riff : Nevertheless, we had the Shutdown Code installed at first. No true reasons to trust us, you see.

Drill Man : And I still don't.

Riff : But after a few years, the Russian RPD was pleased with us, and here we are.

Drill Man : A likely story, infil-traitor. I'll check on that once I'm back at the base.

Riff : *sighs* You just can't please some guys.

(Later, back at the Hideout...)

Warpman : *sobbing* Th-they hate me, Dive ! And they're right to ! Look at my body, look at it ! It's half-finished, and if I pull too much on my powers, I go offline ! What kind of a sucky robot is that ?

Dive Man : Don't be too hard on yerself, Warpy. So, ye have design flaws. Big deal ! Hell, I heard th' original Dive Man was seasick ! Now that is a grade-A loser.

Warpman : B-but I'm horrible to them all ! Day in and day out, I rant at them and insult them and put them down ! I'm a disgrace, Dive. Perhaps it should have been the Fatal Four. I ... I don't deserve to exist.

Dive Man : Sorry to butt in yer pity-wallowin', but that's bullcrap. Ya did great things, and yer team would miss ya. And Henry, too.

Warpman : It's not the same. He's a bartender. It's, like, in his job.

Henry : Warp, that's wrong and you know it. Remember how you all stuck out your neck for me when the Doc was furious ? I never forgot it.

Dive Man : See what I mean ? And you pulled yer teammate's bacon out the fire sev'ral times already. I mean, that trick you did in Berlin ? Nearly killin' ya ta save yer buddies ? Shit, I dunno if I'd have had the guts to do it.

Warpman : But ... saving your teammates ? I ... you're a world-known Dive Dick. How do you all manage to get along ?

Dive Man : Guess I gotta let ya in on this : I actually care about them. They're family. Sure, I rag on 'em every once in a while -and given th' stench of some, they deserve it-, but we stand for each other.

Warpman : I wish I could say the same.

Dive Man : Bah. You and yer buddies kept together fer, what, twenny years without killin' each other ? And your power-downs. If they really hated yer guts, would they really have rebooted ya ?

Warpman : ... I guess not. But ... do you think I should, just, walk up to them and tell them I'm lucky to have them and sentimental crap like that ?

Dive Man : Nah, not yer style. What I believe is, if yer good at snipin' retorts and warpin' bombs and portals, ya stick to it.

Henry : Besides, Warp, I think the Fatalists like you the way you are. Pulling a 180 overnight ? Won't do. If you want to change, do it day after day, but stay true to you.

Dive Man : My point exactly ! I suppose ya didn't went and met God someday ? Cuz you have similar philosophies.

Henry : Oh, no. It's just a good twenty years of bartending. That job does wonders for philosophy.

Warpman : I think you're both right, after all. I guess the Five do need me to watch over them.

Dive Man : Ha ! That's the spirit ! A final drink to toast on that, Henry !

Henry : If you allow room for one more... *pours out three beers*

Dive Man : Oh, and not a word I told ya leaves th' place.

Warpman : Gotcha.

Warpman, Dive Man and Henry : To the Five, and the Comrades ! *drink*

Warpman : So, wanna see one of my warp tricks ?

Dive Man : Why not. But gotta warn ya : after literally goin' ta Hell and back, I'm a tough customer. And I do mean ta Hell and back.

Warpman : Well, watch this !

(As Warpman visibly gulps down the rest of his beer, it disappears halfway to his mouth...)

Dive Man : And where did it go ?

(... and a hole opens right above Dive Man, showering him in alcohol.)

Dive Man : Heh. Cute. My turn now. Ya see my left hand ? Empty.

Warpman : Uh-huh.

Dive Man : Ya see my right hand ? Empty.

Warpman : Okay...

Dive Man : *savagely knees Warpman in the groin* Shouldn't have focused on 'em.

Warpman : *whimpering in pain*

Dive Man : Oh, and, Gospel of St Geoff, 1-1. "Thou shalt not spill alcohol under my watch."

Henry : A very specific gospel.

Dive Man : Well, I hate ta proselytize, but I guess more people oughta know that one quote. *to Warpman* Oh, by the way : still a cool trick, but I think it shoulda landed in my mouth. No hard feelings ?

Warpman : *still whimpering*

Dive Man : I'll take that as a "yes".

(And so, later that night, at the RPD HQ...)

Riff : All in all, it was a good day for all of us, right ?

Drill Man : I'm still keeping an eye on you.

Pharaoh Woman : Staccato, for your services to the Kingdom of the Russian Nile, I dub thee knight of the order of Khnoum. Accept this golden, sparky, vaguely oily fleece.

Staccato : *bows and sets the fleece on his shoulder* I shall prove myself true to the honour thou granted me, oh great queen.

Warpman : Next beer is on me. Now, excuse me, but I have to prepare the portal.

Dive Man : Oh, and don't forget what I told ya.

Warpman : I won't... *walks off*

Bright Babe : That sounded ominous. And what did you tell him, Geoff ?

Dive Man : Grown-up stuff, Lite-Brite. Speakin' of which, how was yer babysitter ?

Ring Man : Honestly, very good. Turns out the day was more instructive than we hoped for.

Lento : Give me your adress. Lento will send you a copy of his philosophy treaties.

Skull Man : *hands over a paper note* I look forward to exchanging about this with you again. Now, I believe we must wake up my teammate.

Lento : Who ? *looks up and receives drool in his face* Ah, yes. *picks up Flippy and slams him on the ground*

Toad Man : Zzzzz ... Five more minutes, ma ... the chickens are burning and I want them extra crispy...

Riff : You'll receive the results of your test later in the week.

Karasû : We bid you goodbye, Comrades, we hope...

Toad Man : *wakes up* Huh. So there weren't chickens. *spots Karasû* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

Karasû : I said, we hope-

Toad Man : AAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

Karasû : *sighs*

Riff : *emitter beeps* Warpman is ready. Gotta get out. See you later, Comrades ! *the Fatalists walk out*

(And after a few seconds, the whole Team is teleported back to their base)

Kalinka : Ah, I see you're back. Was it a pleasant day ?

Drill Man : Except for the fact that we were received by infiltrated Wily-bots, it was fine.

Dust Man : I think we should discuss what we learned today together. Maybe beginning with Geoff. Geoff ?

Gunker : It seems that tiny Comrades let one of them behind. What happened to submarine-wearing baby ?

(Elsewhere in town, a good two hundred feet above the ground...)

Dive Man : *falling from the sky* Shitshitshit ! I'll get ya for this, Warpman ! Hang on. I'm just above the brewery ! Thanks, Warpy. *grins* CANNONBALL !

(And in Murmansk...)

Warpman : If this one doesn't land in your mouth, I'll eat my right arm. *steps out of the booster system*

Karasû : And what would lead to that sinister result, companion ?

Warpman : Oh, nothing. Just a bet with a friend. Anyway, what's the plan now ?

Riff : We should decide on what results we must send to Crorq. So, what did you think of the Comrades ?

Staccato : Noble.

Warpman : Complete asses.

Lento : Interesting to talk with. But one was better off asleep.

Karasû : Interested and motivated.

Riff : Well, for my part, I got a paranoid and a walking encyclopedia with OCD. And on police work ?

Staccato, Warpman and Lento : *look at each other and shrug*

Riff : *sighs* Tell you what, I'll give them full marks. That ought to keep the walking Macintosh off their backs for a while.

Warpman : And after that, off to Henry's ! Drinks are on me, tonight.

Karasû : That's ... oddly generous of you. Even though we have a common tab already.

Warpman : I wanted to say that at least once. You know, to see how it sounds. And did you really think I'd empty my pockets for you ?

Riff : Typical Warpman.

Karasû : *stares at his teammate, shrugs and smiles* Yes ... good old Warpman.

(And so, the lesson ends ? Did the Comrades learn much ? Hell if I know. But they seemed to have won some friends. And I think that's the next best thing.)

(THE END)