The Sinister Six In:
Interview with the 13 Ghosts
 Andon: Note...this Epilouge has been completed! By Gauntlet!. It's a promotion to the new horror flick by Dark Castle known as 13 Ghosts. Iceman wants to see this shit real bad. He's a fan of the old 1960 version. Also note...that this epilouge has some bad language and such... read with caution.
Narrator: Hello Kiddies, and welcome to Gary's Interview Corner. Where he'll be interviewing some freaky shit.
 Gary: (faking a smile at the camera) Not in front of the children Mr. Narrator. *throws a brick at the Narrator*
Narrator: Owwww...the head.
Gary: Before we start, lets have a volenteer to ride "The Trolly Of No Return"
Narrator: I'll go! Mee mee!!
Gary: Excellent.
Audience Member: I'll go!
Gary: Trust me...you "don't" want to. *winks*
Audience Member: Okay.
Narrator: (walks over to the trolly holding his head considering the fact that it still hurts like an S.O.B. from the brick)
Gary: *sends the trolly a flying and slams the door*
6Narrator: *screams*
Gary: That's right Mr. Narrator, today we interview some screams. The scary ghosts that will be starring in the new movie...13 Ghosts!!
Audience: *Cheers* *one guy burps*
Gary: *plops down on the chair, let's bring out our first spook. Ghost Number 1. The First Born Son
 The Great Son: *appears in front of the audience* *everyone gasps*
Gary: Okay kiddo, have a seat and let's begin.
The Great Son: Don't call me kiddo.
Gary: Alright. Ummm..boy...is that an arrow sticking out of your head?
The Great Son:Yes, and I don't like you. *kicks Iceman in the nads*
Audience: Owwwwwww...
Gary: It's a good thing you're already dead you little brat!!
The Great Son: *walks off the stage*
Gary: Okay...um next we have The Bound Woman.
 The Bound Woman: *appears in the chair opposite side of Iceman*
*everyone gasps*
Gary: Ouch...how did you die?
The Bound Woman: I hung myself dip shit...can't you tell?
Gary: Boy...I figure all 13 of you are in a pissy mood. I guess it makes sense. You're all DEAD!!
The Bound Woman: Well...there are 12 of us, the 13th ghost isn't revealed until the ending of the movie.
Gary: I see... I take it spoilers are out of the question.
The Bound Woman: You got it mortal. *twists her neck around*
Gary: *cringes* Anyway...tell us more about the movie.
The Bound Woman: Well, if you've seen the 1960 flick then you see this is a basic remake.
Gary: Right. What I don't understand is why a big baby guy is more scarier than the classic burning skeleton...
The Great Son: *appears on stage*
*everyone gasps*
The Great Son: YOU INSULT ME!!
Gary: Wait your turn tubby.
The Bound Woman: You shouldn't of insulted him.
Gary: What's he going to do...cry to mommy?
 The Dire Mother: *appears on stage*
*everyone gasps*
Gary: Not you too! Can't you guys wait your turns...glory hogging ass whipes..
The Dire Mother: You insult my boy...you fiend. *bangs Iceman with her purse*
The Great Son: *jumps into the air and lands on Iceman*
Gary: *muffled* Okay...I give!!
The Dire Mother and The Great Son: *vanish away*
The Bound Woman: I told you...never insult a ghost.
Gary: *gets up* We'll no shit!! Okay Next!! *pushes a button and the chair that the woman is on goes flying out the window*
 The Pilgrimess: *appears*
*everyone gasps*
Gary: I forget the order these ugly things come in, so on with The Pilgrimess...
Audience Member: Damn...what the hell happend to you.
The Pilgrimess: *hisses and scares the man out of the building*
Gary: So Pilgrimess, it's obvious how you got killed, so tell us more about the movie.
The Pilgrimess: Well, there's this guy named Cyrus. He collects ghosts. He keeps them on display in this house made of strong, durable glass. But the Glass has spells inchanted on them.
Gary: Neat...what do the spells do?
The Pilgrimess: They keep the ghosts at bay...they can't cross these windows if spells are written on them.
Gary: So basically the ghosts are trapped inside this enorumus glass house.
The Pilgrimess: *hisses* Correct. *starts staring at Iceman
Gary: *stares back*
The Pilgrimess: *stares back*
Gary: *stares back*
The Pilgrimess: *stares back*
Gary: *stares back*
The Pilgrimess: *stares back*
Gary: *stares back*
The Pilgrimess: *blinks*
Gary: HAH! You blinked! You lose courpse!
The Pilgrimess: You got lucky you bung hole. *vanishes*
Gary: Man...these guys are giving me the willies...anyways, next is The Angry Princess.
 The Angry Princess: *appears*
*everyone gasps...then covers their eyes*
Gary: GOOD GAWD!! SHE'S NAKED! (The screen pops up on the tv set: "We are experiencing Technical Difficulties...we'll be back in a few minutes."
(Music comes back into play)
Gary: AND PUT SOME CLOTHES ON WOMAN....SHEEESH!!
Gary: Anyways...ummm..The Angry Princess couldn't make it tonight...for certain reasons.
Guy in Audience: BRING HER BACK ON!! *All the guys shout*
Gary: Dude...she's dead...that's (censored) sick man!
Another guy in the Audience: Yeah...guess you're right.
Gary: Now...onto the next Ghost. The Torn Prince.
 The Torn Prince: *appears on stage*
*everyone gasps*
Gary: So, what's your story?
The Torn Prince: Well, I'm basically a teenager from the 50's.
Gary: So you've been dead for nearly 50 years...but what's so scary about a dead old school teenager?
The Torn Prince: I carry a baseball bat, I like to bash things...
Teenybopper from the crowd: HI Prince!! *waves and winks at him*
The Torn Prince: *blows a kiss to the girl*
Gary: Ummmm...excuse me, but what the hell are you doing?
Teenybopper: He is so fine! After the show I'm inviting him over!
*Everyone else holds their mouths with their hands*
Audience: Ewwwww...
Gary: Wait a minute...you want to sleep with a guy with half his face torn off?
Teenybopper: Heck yah! That's sexy!
The Torn Prince: *winks at her*
Gary: Excuse me a minute...while I go GAG!!
(the audience is heard throwing up in the background)
Gary: *takes The Prince's bat*
The Torn Prince: HEY!!
Gary: *bashes the stupid teenybopper*
*Crowd Cheers*
The Torn Prince: Not bad for a mortal.
Gary: *throws the bat at The Prince* OFF MY STAGE!! Next!!
 The Jackal: *appears on stage*
Gary: Wow...you look the scariest of them all.
The Jackal: *eerie voice* Well thank you Iceman...I'm good enough for a good scare.
Gary: What's with the cage on your head...you definatly take the cake of the scariest of the lot.
The Jackal: Like the Pilgrimess, I was punished for murdering people.
Gary: You should hang out with Ben...you'd both make a great combo...anyways, it must of taken hours to do all this make up.
The Jackal: Try days.
Gary: Just don't dress like that on a date...first impressions...you know.
The Jackal: You're not funny, plus I'm not just the scariest of the bunch...but the most violent!! *starts slashing at Iceman*
Gary: Ack!! *falls out of his chair* Alright!! That's it Cagey!! *smashes the ghost over the head with a mallet*
The Jackal: *is unaffected* You stink!
Gary: *starts a sniffing* Me...you've been dead for god knows how long...you're the one that reaks...
The Jackal: I won't sit here and be insulted...I'm outta here. *vanishes*
*All of a sudden two FBI agents walk onto the set.*
 Moulder: You se, Scully! Proof of the afterlife!
The Torn Prince: It's the FEDS!
The Pilgrimess: It's a SING!!
 Scully: I don't think so, Moulder. They just look like people with bad stage makeup.
Moulder: Scully, don't you see what this means? What answers these freaky, ugly, stupid-looking ghosts can give us??
The Ghosts: HEY!!!
The Bound Woman: Oh, that's it! You're going down, pretty-boy!
*The ghosts lunge in and attack Moulder and Scully!*
Gary: Ahhhhh, well. It looks like this is just about over.
Moulder: AAHHH!!! Not the face! Not my award-winning face! AHHHHH!!!!
Gary: Hm, I think that's my cue to exit. But be here next week as I interview my good buddy Gauntlet! Mysterious ninja ...... or just a hologram with delusions of grandeur? You decide!
END!
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